Navigating through the seasons - Page 11

I continue to walk the same path everyday through the seasons with my beloved canine. I can look down at the path listening to the same music everyday through the seasons bounded by habits. I can look up at the trees changing color and the clouded sky. My dog gets to smell things and empty himself of piss and shit.

I want to get into good enough shape to wear this:



Or maybe it's more like I want to get rich enough to wear that and then use the money on something else.

I travel down the same path everyday. With my head down on the path. I raise my head and see the leaves changing in the trees and the clouded sky. I see some people and say "hi." Some say routine leads to revelation. Travelling down untrodden paths is truly living. I must live an ordinary life so I can be violent in my art. What is my art?

I travel down the path everyday through the seasons. Am I changing for the better? Am I changing?

Perhaps I'm just getting older. Doors are closing. Doors have been closed. As I speed towards the abyss.

I don't want to die. At least not now. At least not yet.

Another Saturday night alone. My big night out was to spend $30 at the grocery store so I don't starve.

I finally finished Dandadan season 2. It's pretty good. Worth a watch. Kind of goofy and weird in good ways and bad ways. I still have to watch Howl's Moving Castle by Studio Ghibli but I am running out of time tonight. I am running out of time tonight yet I don't know what I want to do with it. I have to let the dog out tonight and then again first thing tomorrow morning and then again right before I go to work. I miss Pittsburgh. I could drive everywhere and I had friends then.

It's pretty obvious I am lonely. I am no solitary genius or Sigma male. I need friends. Maybe I don't. I don't always feel this way. Fridays and Saturdays are the worst because there is an assumption that everyone is out having fun while I am atomized alone in my room.

I have visions of stopping at the local bar after work, drinking about 20 beers, stumbling home, vomiting everywhere, but man get me to that place that only the heart and lungs function slowly. You wonder if you will wake up the next morning. I wanted a bottle of wine with my pizza tonight. I had some raisins instead. Not nearly as good. I'm long past the days that I can get to a happy place with a bottle of wine.

hmm lonely maybe go on a dating app or something? or a streaming app? talk to some younger girls like on twitch or tiktok but they obvious looking for gifts or something from u.

if u do go the tiktok route dont go overboard on gifting

dont get me wrong its surface level interaction but it beats loneliness

No dating apps. No Twitch or Tik Tok.

don't know then u figure it out then

Ultimately, it is on me to figure it out. This is true.

I am responsible for my actions. I am the sum of my actions (Sartre). I don't think it is as clear as this though.

There is a certain mystery in the muses. O whimsical muses.

On November 18 2025 03:13 RiKD wrote: I am responsible for my actions. I am the sum of my actions (Sartre). I don't think it is as clear as this though.

its a good indication though

On November 18 2025 03:15 RiKD wrote: There is a certain mystery in the muses. O whimsical muses.

either my English sucks or your English is just on a different level or both or somewhere in-between, kinda a nice thought my man. u taught me a new word muses