Navigating through the seasons - Page 17

I need space and time to read and think. What it really boils down to is attention if not energetic attention. Some may say this is a waste. To read and to think or more specifically this blog is a waste. As I forge ahead on this spiritual path I must read and think. There is more to life than the earthly life. Pleasure. Maybe I should smoke the best strains of Indica marijuana and make music. That's the contradiction. Jesus says I should live without lust but I like lust. I like marijuana. I like music. Yet, I don't smoke marijuana anymore and I am sitting here on the bass playing Hot Cross Buns trying to perfect it before I move on to the next one.

Gethsemane

It was Gethsemane where Jesus realized that Judas would betray him and that he would be tortured and crucified. He prayed 3 times to God. "Let Thy will be done." He went on to feed the disciples bread and wine and wash their feet knowing that Judas would betray him and that he would be tortured and crucified.

Then there is me. Lusting after women all day long. Muttering "Let Thy will be done" skeptically into the ceiling. No way I'm washing anyones' feet. Commandments are man made and man interpreted. I don't believe they come from God.

I must walk a spiritual path. The Kingdom of God is within you. Why must I walk a spiritual path? Because the alternative is untenable.

I can also obsess over what new strings to put on my bass. That will work for a while.

I am always stuck between some Nietzschean / absurdist view of the world and a spiritual view of the world. I am deeply skeptical of religions. I can even drift to cynical fatalist views of the world to the point of nihilism / despair. I think I would be better off just constantly stoned reading spiritual texts and creating music. Maybe I don't need to be stoned it's just something I'm fixating on at the moment. It's because just about everything on the planet is better with the right kind of weed. Being high for an entirety of existence is not sustainable though and there is burnout. Take it from someone who spent months at a time stoned to the gills. Marijuana never brought me to my knees though. It enhanced life for the most part. This is the point in the blog where I rationalize why I should use marijuana. I need something for the hole in my soul. I was probably right the first time and try to fill that son of a bitch up with spirituality. It has to be credible though. Credible spirituality is not always easy to find.

I must read and think. This is crucial to my life. I finally finished the Bolaño (2666). It took me a long while because I was reading other stuff along with it and I had to work so many hours in a week. It is liberating to only wish to read and closing the doors on writing. The problem is I still have one eye on reading and one eye on eventually writing something. It's like I can't get that bug out of the system. The Bolaño was great (2666). Dare I say it is a masterpiece. I am unsure what to read next. Byung-Chul Han has a new book on gardening. I should probably read my sister's second book at some point. Then there is the vast array of spiritual fodder. I'm less looking for fodder for the herd and more looking at something more substantial. I don't know what that is yet but I'll keep looking.

Maybe I'll re-read the Joyful Wisdom by Nietzsche.

Maybe I'll read some Eugene Ionesco.

I should probably read some hardcore Nietzschean stuff or absurdist stuff to balance the Jesus stuff. I know a little about Buddhism, less about the Bhagavad Gita, a little about the Tao Te Ching, and next to nothing about Islam.

I am reading this academic text on Islam and Middle Eastern History and Culture. Islam thinks that God wrote the Quran and that the Torah and Gospels were written by man. That is why they can jihad. Islam was founded through war between Medina and Mecca. My prophet is better than your prophet, etc. I'll have to read more but I am skeptical of all this religious stuff.

Meanwhile, I am still working on Hot Cross Buns on the bass. Maybe if I can just get that musicality and groove right I can move on to Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star.

Has anyone thought about how they want to die? Has anyone thought about how they want to be treated after death?

I once read The Perennial Psychology of the Bhagavad Gita. It was at the suggestion of one of the wise AA old timers who had like 35 years sobriety. We were going to have a book study but it never surfaced. I don't remember much from it and I don't remember it being particularly impactful. I do like the idea of the cremation ghats in India. Burn the bodies and put the remains in the Ghanges River. I don't remember the exact circumstances in Game of Thrones but putting the body in a boat and shooting a fire arrow into the pyre / boat is excellent. Maybe that is how I want to be cremated and my ashes scattered. I don't think I want to rot in an expensive casket with an expensive grave stone. The grave stone will weather and I will be worm food before then.

The problem with Islam as I see it so far is that it started from rival nomadic and non-nomadic clans and tribes at war. It is simply a story of saying we are more pious than you now it is time for jihad. The "more pious" become autocratic and whoever wins a battle has allah on their side which further cements their "more pious" status. There will always be a faction claiming more pious and declaring jihad on Muslims and non-Muslims.

The Five Pillars of Islam

1.) Shahada (Profession of Faith): "There is no god but God (allah), and Muhammad is His messenger."

So far I think I like Jesus more than Muhammad. Might be a deal breaker on the first pillar.

2.) Salah (Prayer): Performing ritual prayers five times a day (at dawn, noon, afternoon, sunset, and night) facing the Kaaba in Mecca, connecting with God.

I could get down with this. Might be difficult to accomplish this based on sleep schedules and work schedules. Might feel like I am talking to a wall versus God. I read some of the prayers. They aren't bad.

3.) Zakat (Almsgiving): Donating a fixed portion (usually 2.5%) of one's wealth to help the poor and needy, purifying wealth and fostering community.

Doesn't seem like a bad idea.

4.) Sawm (Fasting): Abstaining from food, drink, and other physical needs from dawn until sunset during the holy month of Ramadan, promoting empathy and spiritual reflection.

Sounds tough but could be worthwhile.

5.) Hajj (Pilgramage): A mandatory pilgrimage to Mecca for every Muslim who is physically and financially capable, performed at least once in their lifetime, symbolizing unity and submission.

Sounds like a lot of traffic to me but I could also see it as life-affirming.

I'm just trying to see what I can glean from Islamic philosophy / wisdom. Perhaps a biography of Muhhamad is next or texts from Sufis / mystics. It's more of a historical / cultural project than anything else. Could I learn something from a traditional Muslim farmer / trader in Medina? Could there be a community there that is interesting to study?

I am toying with the idea of turning in my Squire 70s Classic Vibe P Bass and Fender Rumble 25 for a Yamaha TRBX174 and Fender Rumble 40.

OR

Drop some money on a Yamaha TRBX505 and go back to playing with headphones on a guitar amp and figure out the amp later. I've heard a Rumble 40 (10'' speaker) isn't even good enough for a clean low B. The Rumble 25 (8'' speaker) isn't even good enough for EADG. That might be the play. Get a TRBX505 and hold out for an amp until I can get a 12'' speaker.

BUT

There is conflicting wisdom here. Some say learn on a 4 string. Some say if you want to play a 5 string just play the 5 string. I want to play a 5 string.

This is a groovy song:





The place shown in the image is Manikarnika Ghat in Varanasi, Uttar Pradesh, India.
It is one of the oldest and most sacred ghats in Varanasi,
situated on the banks of the River Ganges.
Manikarnika Ghat is a significant site for Hindu cremations, with pyres burning continuously.
It is believed that being cremated here provides moksha, liberation from the cycle of birth and death.

I should probably have a will. I was going to set one up with a previous Doctor but never did. I am still uncertain on how I want my remains taken care of. Maybe cremated and ashes scattered in Lake Erie or the Atlantic Ocean. I think that if I don't write anything down I will be put in a grave in a cemetery and I don't think I want that.

Have any of you thought about how you want to die? How you want your remains taken care of? Cremated on a spiritual pyre and ashes scattered in the Ganges River seems dope but I am not Hindu nor Indian. It doesn't feel right. I don't want any urns involved either. A Folgers can is good enough.

When you depart this place
What do you hope to leave?
Who's gonna carry your body
Your legacy, your dynasty? (Kublai Khan TX)

Will I care if I leave anything? My legacy, my dynasty?

I'll be dead. Don't know about heaven or rebirth. Maybe nothingness is peaceful, quiet. I do care that my nephews and niece have good lives. My younger siblings. My younger siblings who are more adult than me. Do we not care about the future generations? Pour ceux qui viendront après. Quand l'un tombe, on continue.