Navigating through the seasons - Page 13

Codeine isn't the answer. Sometimes when it gets dark and lonely I don't know what the answer is but there are solutions. Listening to music and typing on here seems to be a solution. It seems to work. It keeps me held together ok. I don't know if I can do any serious work on myself through journaling alone but it is a coping mechanism. I was just researching Codeine. 100mg will probably get me good and high; euphoric even. That is what I am looking for at a time like now. I don't want just Mirtazapine. I want it all baby. I want to light up like a Christmas tree. I could go online shopping. Start eating hooks like candy. It will feel nice to open up the packaging and put together a nice fit. Then it's just another piece of clothing in the pile.

I want to wild out a little bit. This is after having a phenomenal work out today. I don't know what's wrong. Not wrong. Consciousness. The water flows how it will flow.

I wish I was better at music but I don't practice.

I continually have to re-learn that I don't have to be high all the time.

On November 21 2025 02:56 RiKD wrote: I was telling my therapist I've been doing a whole lot of work and chores lately.

How much does a therapist cost these days?

A single therapy session typically costs between $100 and $200 out-of-pocket, but the price can vary significantly based on your insurance, location, and the therapist's experience. With insurance, out-of-pocket costs can be as low as $0 to $50 per session, thanks to the Mental Health Parity and Affordable Care Act. If paying privately, costs can range from less than $100 to over $250 per session, especially in high-cost-of-living areas.

Factors influencing the cost

Insurance: Your insurance plan will determine your cost. With a plan that includes mental health coverage, you will likely pay a copay or coinsurance, which is often a fixed amount per session ($0–$50).

Location: Therapy costs are often higher in major metropolitan areas and lower in other regions.

Therapist's credentials and experience: Therapists with more specialized training or extensive experience may charge higher rates.

Session type: The cost can vary depending on the type of therapy (e.g., individual, couples, or family). Longer sessions, like 90-minute sessions, will also cost more than standard 50-minute ones.

Type of professional: A psychiatrist, who is a medical doctor, will typically charge more than a psychologist or other licensed therapist, especially for initial appointments. (Google search)

Maybe Codeine is the answer. Thank you Loco. Thank you Stephen Immerwahr. Thank you Michelangelo Antonioni (Red Desert (1964)).

Happy Thanksgiving y'all. I'm a bit restless today even though I had an excellent training session. I've been spending too much time studying and not enough time expressing. I did pick up the guitar(s) today. I was pretty terrible but not that terrible. I looked at some of my old paintings. I wasn't that thrilled. I realized I threw away a bunch of my favorite works in a moment of minimalist cleaning. Something had to be done though, paintings take up a lot of space. So, I find myself writing another journal. I had a series of fauvist inspired nudes that were really neat but I think I threw them all away. Maybe I'll do some more cleaning.

Man, going over these old paintings really makes me want to paint. I think I am in a zone that I could really improve. Get a proper studio and learn oil painting. I don't have the money for that though...

Water colors is just not really my thing.

Poetry is fun to study sometimes but I don't think I must write poetry.

I'm 40 and still finding myself...

I need a reason to smile.

I was reading in Baronness Elsa that Marcel Duschamp thought that painting became masturbation for him. I have been in that position before. I am feeling hungry enough that doing a portrait with my remaining minimal supplies would probably inspire. Oil painting in a proper studio would be the real thing at least for a while. I don't even have a pallette or a canvas. I would have to improvise. Fuck. The good thing about writing is that it's free.

I am waitin' around to die. Waitin' around for Thanksgiving dinner. I wonder how many turkies are tortured and murdered each year for Thanksgiving?

An estimated 46 million turkeys are killed for Thanksgiving. Many of them are not stunned before having their throats slit and being boiled or drowned alive. This does not consider their living conditions for their first 4 months of life.

Dopamine

This one's for Loco:

Edgar Morin

Still Life #1 (Unfinished)

Pittsburgh

Untitled

Mort formidable

Sleep Paralysis

Self-Portrait (Covid)