I'm bout to mange on some pancakes and drink loads of speed. Probably going to induce a mania but I need the speed to accomplish anything. I don't know how long I can last not playing video games and just reading Baudrillard and going to the philosophy server. I badly need to touch some grass. I don't know why all my addictions are swirling around like this. Like some fucking vultures.
We are all going to die. Our hearts will stop. The blood will cease to flow to the brain.
Today was kind of crazy. I haven't touched a musical instrument or Ableton for as long as I can remember then today I made music all day. A proper bender. I told you the the addiction vultures were circling. My plan was to get locked-in and read but I only read the introduction.
I could masturbate to pornography only one time in a week and something happens to my male gaze. It takes a while to snap out of it. I'm not just going to blame it on the libido. Women should not be minimized to sex objects.
It's hard to make music if you don't play any musical instruments. I'm so out-gunned by Beethoven, there is no metaphor that could even do it justice. Maybe I'll sulk in the corner and get back to reading Baudrillard. Nah, the problem is the music bug is still in me. That's not a bad thing. If I compose my own stuff and improve at my own instruments it's better than lounging in the philosophy server all night or posting on here. If I spent all my days looking for jobs, bodybuilding, walking, music, and reading that would be pretty good.
The thing about Abelton is it is sterile and banal. Any number of drummers are more interesting than a drum machine. Any number of bassists are more interesting than a pre-set stock of bass sounds that I either place with my mouse and keyboard or "play" it on a 24 key MIDI-controller. There is no physical playing of an instrument. There is no movement. I would love an 88 key synthesizer but it doesn't even really matter because I have minimal piano training. My skills in the guitar fall short of any number of things I would like to do with the instrument. The only aspect that is up to par of where I would want to be is vocals.
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PuertoRican United States. May 19 2025 23:37. Posts 13213
This shit is getting me lol. I have the need to read so can't watch the full hour but I checked out his channel and it definitely looks rabbit hole worthy. Might have to check it out at like 3am when I can't sleep. I saw he had an anti-natalist video 12 years ago. Is that how you found him?
Watched the end. Is that performance art, neurodivergence, or both?
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PuertoRican United States. May 22 2025 02:29. Posts 13213
On May 22 2025 00:40 RiKD wrote:
This shit is getting me lol. I have the need to read so can't watch the full hour but I checked out his channel and it definitely looks rabbit hole worthy. Might have to check it out at like 3am when I can't sleep. I saw he had an anti-natalist video 12 years ago. Is that how you found him?
Watched the end. Is that performance art, neurodivergence, or both?
No, I didn't know about this one. He has a lot of classics, rabbit hole worthy indeed.
fuck I should just sell some of my Pokemon cards, if no one stakes that is what I will have to do - lostaccount
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United States. May 17 2025 15:50. Posts 9399
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