byrnesam's picture blog

Capt Tom is back and hes staking another up and coming female player. Heres a recent press photo from the 2007 WSOP

*NSFW*
+ Show Spoiler +

the spoiler thing might be a bit fucky so heres the link if it doesnt work

http://img127.imageshack.us/img127/5105/captaintomloldonepc5.jpg

2 votes

Comments (6)

to the city

went in abut 10

went to some hotel to meet that hot blonde chick and her mates. have a drink or 2 in the room then head out

its all good to be out with 3 guys and 9 girls (kind of ratio you need to ball at)

we go to a couple of clubs then decide to head up to this bar to watch the fucking rugby.

On the way me and mate and 3 chicks head back to the hotel for a piss/drink

this guy walks past and goes "YOU GIRLS DESERVE BETTER THAN THE GUYS YOURE WITH"

in my beat lil jon impression i go "WHHHHHHHUT!"

he responds "WHAT DID THAT CUNT SAY?!?!?!"

I retort "WHHHHHHHHAT!"
~
thats the end of it - id ave mashed his face up anyway.

we go to the casino. meant to meet people there - but people arent old enough so me and mate go inside. This is where it gets tricky

I get $100 out and he decides to aswell. I get rolled at blackjack then he takes my seat.

Eventually we are both down $100. What he doesnt know is that i managed to lose a furthur $350 when he was losing at BJ.

So im actually -$450

We go to find some club and bump into 2 chicks we know and follow them to this club. Theres a massive line but we VIP nigga so we go through the rope and its balla

inside wasnt balla coz it was like bombay and full of punjabs. Me and my mate get 2 long island iced teas each and skull them back.

We leave and go somewheere else i cant remember.

Then we go to the hostel of the american chick where she staying for the night. I did some dutty dancing with her before this but i cant rememebr much.

then something happenened and im downtairs on a computer trying to log on to LP

my mate comes down i think hes hooking up with her and im like "yeh safe man"

i (try to) chat up this swedish chick whos pretty old and pretty ugly.

i give up and walk out the front door - its fucking daylight

i walk down the road looking for a bus.

i see a homeless dude shouting at people across the road - i give him $20 (WHAT THE FUCK!?!)

I tell him i dont care what he does with it - he can buy whatever he wants (mainly drugs and booze)

Then with buses failing i head back to the casino

I start by losing like $450 so im -$900 total

then i win back like $600

one more bet and i could be in profit

nvm i get so fucking rolled its insane

im like -$1k total from hardcore blackjacking with some asian woman on the $25 table

fall asleep on the bus then i just got home and ive nearly got aids so ill die

im so fucking poor now i might be busto irl

gaboling my parents money lol

i have no money in my account to pay the rent which is lol

PEACE NIGAS!

2 votes

Comments (12)

XXX Chairhatting
(read from the bottom up)





fail

4 votes

Comments (23)

byrnesam bets
police call
byrnesam checks
police bet
byrnesam folds

duty lawyer limps
byrnesam limps
judge checks

judge has activated time bank, 6 hours remaining
judge has activated time bank, 3 hours remaining
judge has activated time bank, 10 minutes remaining
judge bets $930
duty lawyer folds
byrnesam calls

judge shows DUI charge
byrnesam mucks
byrnesam sits out for 6 months

$800 fine and 6 month ban with $130 court costs. Paid it in full coz im balla like that and dont need a payment plan - stanky rich.

Loads of hori ass polynesians, i was adrift in a sea of fitted caps (both new era and those crap fake ones) bape hoodies and basketball jerseys.

I was lookin balla AS USUAL. The kids sat opposite me were hardcore as. One of them (probably no older than 17) had like $15,000 in fines because hed stolen so much shit.

Sat around for 6 hours

5 minutes infront of the judge. Somewhat surprised that my heart started racing when he was reading out my punishment.

SIKLYF ITS HOW I DO

3 votes

Comments (15)

so this story starts last saturday:

was girl #2's birthday, i go to hers and then girl #1 turns up unofficially. Im fully like wtf, but love that 2 chicks be battling to ride with a pimp. When girl #2 is opening her presents girl #1 tries come sit right next to me and put her arm round me. I tell her NO FUCKIN WAY BITCH IM A PLAYA.

She asks me to "walk her home coz she has to make a phone call" i accomodate that and take her home, make out with her on the way, rub her cooch some etc.

I send her back to the party on her own becuase i dont want to be seen turning up with her.

She aint happy abut that but fuck it im not here to please a bitch.

I get back to the party and girl #2 is peeled out flat on the floor. I take her home and on the way she spews her guts up - its kind of hot. I get her into bed and she requests i stay and sleep whilst she does. I agree for like 5 minutes then bail out to play singstar.

2 hours later i wake her up. She comes back to join the group playing singstar. Girl #1 and #2 are in the room now. Naturally girl #2 tries all the usual trade tricks to make it look like she got me. I play a long a bit - girl #1 takes some motherfuckin notes on the subject.

We go to the fuckin city.

I swear to god i saw McLovin in the city. This guy was like 5ft tall - pale white with glasses. He was on a night out with these maori guys who were all 6'2"+ it was hilarious.

We dance at some club - i get my hair and back rubbed by some random guy - its pretty gay but i dont fucking care.

We get home at 5am and we all instatnly bail to bed - girl #2 says "ill see you later?" i dont know if she meant - come see me when everyones in bed - or "ill just see you about"

i choose the latter and bail to bed coz im fucked from busting sick moves to soldier boy etc.

I eat the cooch of girl #1 twice in 2 days. She doesnt seemed to please with the whole thing and now she being a cunt to me.

Tonight i get text from this chick who lives with the american chick. This chick in insane hot.

Whilst there we sat around the kitchen. twice she decides to sit on my lap. This is intense coz she is like off the scale hot - ill accomodate her sittin on my fucking lap. That shit is saved in the spank bank for eternity.

We decide to go out to the city next weekend - This is allllllllllllllll good. I told her we were going to a strip club coz its how i do.

I roll to girl #2's house after that coz the intensely hot girl was going home this weekend and needed to pack.

I roll to girl #2 and she getting ready. I get to see her in bra and shit and its all fucking gravy i tell thee.

then they decide theyre not going out and theyre "going to watch movies"

Im like "i might just cruise"

and she gets all mad at me and walks inside without saying goodbye to me

FUCK YOU BITCH ILL FUCKIN KILL YOU

CUNT

Women are hilarious.
Im going to go to the room of girl #1 right now. If anything good happens ill post a TR.


on the fuckin left obv

here a picture of the intense chick what sat on my muuurr'fuckin lap
this picture really doesnt do her justice but what'err

she fiiiiiiiine

im lookin forward to next saturday and takin her out the town show her how a fuckin balla roll

JUST A LIL BIT - A LIL BIT OF THIS

A LIL BIT OF THAT

GIRL SHAKE THAT THING
YEAH WORK THAT THING
LET ME SEE IT GO UP AND DOWN

1 votes

Comments (19)

I was just watching this documentry about sex tourism in thailand

http://www.tv-links.co.uk/listings/9/6216

when i came across this exotic beauty.

1 votes

Comments (15)

its been a while since the last episode.

1 votes

Comments (9)

this story is pretty fuckin lol.

so it rolls back to about 5 days ago.

I go to this free poker night with my friend. You get $1500 chips if you buy a drink, blinds start at 25/50.

My friend wins it in the most hilarious fashion imaginable. Obv he doesnt know the hilarity as he pushed T5 vs J7o but whatever.

He wins a $50 bar tab valid for 6 days (poker is on a weds) He was out on friday and i was out on saturday - we decide tuesday drinking is all good.

So we go up about midday and get like 3 beers each and some fries.

We go piss about in the sports shop and head back to mine. I say we should stop at the liquer shop on the way home and we but 16 beers.

we get home and watch some tv-links.co.uk then we put on some music and hop out my window on to the roof.

NOW APPARENTLY - SOMEONE DIDNT LIKE THIS

So next thing i know someones all peeling us out. the landlady is over and she all in my grill. Me and mate run out the backdoor and run to someone elses flat. They persue and catch up to us. We aagree to co operate.

I tell my mate that i think i might bolt. I decide not to but i tell him that ill take the fall on this one.

We stand around and eat some food and we can see security and the landlady outside out house.

I go upstairs and put on my air jorndan shorts to give me the best chance to run from the po po.

nigga whut. I go outside me and my friend flatmate talk to landlady and my friend say "is there nothing that can be done to resolve this?"

land lady say "no, ive had enough of this behaviour in the village"

i say "fine" and run down and jump in my car

i speed off and im quite obviously way too pissed to drive.

I turn around and come back to pick up my mate, when i pull in the drive way theres cops there. I pull a hard u-turn.

some nit a tries to be a hero and stand infront of my car. i speed towards him beeping the horn and he gets out my way.

I drive up the road then i drive the wrong way down a one way street, upon joining the main road the cops pull up by me.

I have 2 options here, slam into reverse and try out run the police in a 1000cc honda integra, or give up. I choose nit life and give up.

They park my car and i ride back to the village in their car. After a bit they decide they "cant trust me" and put me in cuffs.

i chat some shit through the window and theres a little crowd to see me taken down by the 5 0 for a 2nd time in a couple of months.

I ask the cop whats gonna happen and hes like "well we take you back to station then breathalize you then you can go"

realizing i wasnt facing anight in the cells i decide to co-operate.

I need to blow less than 400 to pass, so the pressure wass on.

I made the breathand sailed through with a smooth 800, fail.

So they fill some forms and read them out. I claim that my dad is my lawyer and i want to phone him. Then i decide not to afte blowing a 780 on the 2nd go.

They give me a lift home and i have a suspended licence, with a court appearance in a few weeks.

I return home and continued drinking, then went to the gas station for a pie coz i rule..

phoned my mum and told her what it do. She seemed down. I will be abroad for most of my ban so its fuckin gravy.

2 votes

Comments (18)

post-benoit rage i quit my job.

i managed 2 full days.

turns out im a lazy workshy nigger.

its 2:30am and i just went to the shop to get a pie and some cheezels and chocolate, didnt get stabbed by the homeless man i saw, or the guy whos fuckin with the bins outside my house. i dunno what hes doing, looks like something official but bin day isnt till wednesday - so whatever.

i think the american chick just wanted some company coz fuck all happened even though im fuckin irresistable. she got a call from one of the douche baggers who was clearly after some chubby lovin. whatever, she didnt go to his party.

made up with my flatmate over the crockery scandal. shes happy, she said we should just be friends, but then i ate her pie and a little bit of her rusty sheriffs badge. Then she had a phone call, so i happy ending'd myself, then she came back just after i finished (which was a huge beat really)

I also put my penis so close to her mouth it made her cry a little - so thats like official sexual assault. it was still pretty funny - i did make it up to her though so court is off.

my room is contracting aids and badly needs a clean

that is all, cheezels incoming.

2 votes

Comments (4)

i went to leave the house and i was still a little drnk but had no plans to stay around. She was all bitching at me coz her door has a huge fuck off dent in it from a glass i threw directly at it.

I told her to get the fuck off my car and she pissed and moaned, then drove away in a sea of rage.

so its 5:30am, im due to start work in 3 hours, but im going to phone in and quit coz i dont want to work a fuckin job.

Went to the casino and finished +$220 (OBVIOUSLY BECAUSE BLACKJACK IS FREE FUCKING MONEY) so i can easilly pay for plates and shit - badman nah worry.

I got in the lift to go to validate my parking, and these 2 guys get in. 1 guy was real drunk and he starts pissing in the corner of the lift, i lol and he says "hey man dont say anything"

naturally i get out, go to enter the casino, get ID'd and tell security "hey a guy is pissing in that lift"

LOL UNLUCKY SON, i just pulled a dickmove on you cunt gave a description of him and his mate and erry'thang.

hope he got caught and made to lick it up.

I went to the cashier to try get my validation but they didnt have it. Chatted up some middle aged asian chick in the line hoping she was a hooker. She had a wedding ring on so i was shit out of luck on this bitch. She said she was betting $300/hand on blackjack but i heard the bullshit alarm. She was kinda lookin at me as i left but i gave her some pleasentries - ive no doubt it made her moist.

After initially getting rolled at $10/hand blackjack, i followed proper gambling protocol and moved up stakes.

I played $50/hand blackjack (fully prepared to go busto with every $ in my fuckin bank accounts on this one i was pretty tilted) with some middle aged guy who was pretty cool but dissed me splitting against an 8 - but what the fuck does he know, i won because i had a sick read on the dealer. I won every hand, he did piss poor.

some other young guy came sat with us and bet like $600 on the first hand and got instantly rolled, he hit on like 17 or something retarded. Me and my new business associate discussed what a dick he was, he returned a few minutes later with a $100 note, but i left soon after so i dunno how he did. Im guessing he lost his life.

I went to the platinum lounge (where i belong, quite frankly) and asked for some comps coz i wanted to find myself a hooker then get a cheap hotel room, but it wasnt meant to be. I dropped my cup of $2 coins all over the fucking floor - life tilt.

I go to the "action station" and get some info on the action card. If i had one before this session i would be up $220 + a cap that says "action" on it. Who knows what other luxurious riches await me behind that counter of dreams.

Validate parking. Go to car park, lose car, go to security, they find it for me (coz im deluxe and dont need to find my own shit when they will do it for me)

drive home fairly sober but without a hooker

heres the newly designed kitchen based on life and times of chris benoit



i think it really works.

1 votes

Comments (16)