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I am lost. I have no hope in me right now. I just feel completely helpless and numb. I don't understand how I can just be so bad, and run so bad, and yet still be so bad, after so much time and effort.
This month I'm down 1300.
I msg'd FTP And got my complete hand history for them.
This is my YTD graph.

And.. I'm literally down 2.5k lifetime at FTP. Up 6k with rakeback.. lawl at my life.
Annnnnnnnnnnd I'm up 1.9k lifetime at online poker, 16k with rakeback(a little more with some bonuses along the way). And way above EV too LOL!!!!!!!
I guess poker is a waste of time for me. IDK what I can accomplish at this point.
Still going to see what happens with my benchmark in august but it doesn't look bright.
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| Last edit: 13/06/2010 10:19 |
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exalted   United States. Jun 13 2010 10:18. Posts 2918 | | |
your red line is very very bad and is probably the direct cause of your losing
PMed you |
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exalted from teamliquid :o | |
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Skaarj390   . Jun 13 2010 10:20. Posts 77 | | |
take a break!
during that period learn and study only. |
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anon   Lithuania. Jun 13 2010 10:22. Posts 5965 | | |
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Doyle Brunson: Fights with your wife or girlfriend are not healthy for you bank roll | |
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indeed
I'll try anything at this point, I think I need a coach but I have no idea how to pay such a person. I guess they could have my rakeback. lawl.
curious to see PM |
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| Last edit: 13/06/2010 10:25 |
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Twisted   Netherlands. Jun 13 2010 10:31. Posts 10422 | | |
Looks like poker isn't for you. I'm serious about that. |
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anon   Lithuania. Jun 13 2010 10:38. Posts 5965 | | |
Looks like you concentrate on making good folds, but foget to extract max value, make good bluffs. show to someone your turn and river agression, it might be your weak spot |
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Doyle Brunson: Fights with your wife or girlfriend are not healthy for you bank roll | |
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maryn   Poland. Jun 13 2010 10:38. Posts 1208 | | |
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dnagardi   Hungary. Jun 13 2010 10:45. Posts 1779 | | |
| On June 13 2010 09 begin_of_the_skype_highlighting 13 2010 09 end_of_the_skype_highlighting:31 Twisted wrote:
Looks like poker isn't for you. I'm serious about that. |
+1 |
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lucifer   Sweden. Jun 13 2010 10:52. Posts 5955 | | |
edit: no need to be like that.
that's a real weird graph tho. something's really wrong. |
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On February 19 2009 22:21 Confedrate wrote: i dont get it | Last edit: 13/06/2010 10:59 |
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That's why playing bad was in there twice |
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staxxx   Bulgaria. Jun 13 2010 11:01. Posts 652 | | |
don't take it so serious, seems you put a lot of pressure on yourself that you must win money which is the worst mindset. Take few days break and play when you feel like playing, but try to think it's all play money and concentrate on optimizing your style. Impatience of winning leads to losing. |
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No Limit | Last edit: 13/06/2010 11:02 |
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exalted   United States. Jun 13 2010 11:08. Posts 2918 | | |
also, your lack of variance in your EV is actually really lucky, due to the correlation of winrate and variance (breakeven style = potentially massive swings)
all hands for my FT:
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exalted from teamliquid :o | Last edit: 13/06/2010 11:09 |
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donkey   United States. Jun 13 2010 11:24. Posts 247 | | |
hmm...idk.. i wish i can help, maybe i'll teach you some sngs/mtt, hope that works out |
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hiems   United States. Jun 13 2010 11:27. Posts 2979 | | |
| On June 13 2010 09:18 exalted wrote:
your red line is very very bad and is probably the direct cause of your losing
PMed you |
Imo this is wrong. I've read your blog before and yourself//everybody else's reasoning for why you are losing is wrong. It isn't your stats, redline, etc etc that is causing you to lose. Those are just metrics of the actions you take. Its what is underlying those metrics ---> Your "Mechanics" that is really important. I consider that to be things like how you think about poker and make decisions at the table...with what speed? with what focus? How you try to get reads and use them? etc. You really ought to be focusing on fixing your mechanics, not "Oh I should be barreling or not barreling in this spot."
Imo in your situation (playing for a living with a meager source of income) its going to be really hard to fix your mechanics since there is so much pressure on you to pay your bills with your poker money. It would probably be best for you to move down and reduce the number of tables to one or two, and to also take a very big percentage of your poker time to study and focus on your mechanics. You should also be willing to experiment heavily while you play, with improvement, not winning money, to be your primary goal.
Given that its really hard to do these things while playing for a living, I suggest you at the least temporarily focus on a job or going back to school. This is going to put alot of pressure away from your poker and will allow you to give it the TYPE of focus that is required. If its the right move, there is no shame in it at all.
My 2 cents. |
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I beat Loco!!! [img]https://i.imgur.com/wkwWj2d.png[/img] | |
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Zalfor   United States. Jun 13 2010 11:29. Posts 2236 | | |
u need to fix that red line.
i would coach u, but i'm prob. not good enough. |
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hiems   United States. Jun 13 2010 11:32. Posts 2979 | | |
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I beat Loco!!! [img]https://i.imgur.com/wkwWj2d.png[/img] | Last edit: 13/06/2010 11:32 |
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hiems   United States. Jun 13 2010 11:32. Posts 2979 | | |
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I beat Loco!!! [img]https://i.imgur.com/wkwWj2d.png[/img] | |
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exalted   United States. Jun 13 2010 11:36. Posts 2918 | | |
hiems, I understand what you're saying, but that red line is the equivalent of someone saying: "I play 50/6, and, I just can't seem to win!" It is definitely a leak, although I may incorrectly infer that it is his largest one (that I could easily be wrong about).
It does get less severe in slope in the end, hence his 'improvement' towards a break even instead of 'losing' player, but that is still miles from a breakeven red line or even a positive sloped one (which of course "may" not be optimal) |
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exalted from teamliquid :o | |
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hiems   United States. Jun 13 2010 11:41. Posts 2979 | | |
| On June 13 2010 10:36 exalted wrote:
hiems, I understand what you're saying, but that red line is the equivalent of someone saying: "I play 50/6, and, I just can't seem to win!" It is definitely a leak, although I may incorrectly infer that it is his largest one (that I could easily be wrong about).
It does get less severe in slope in the end, hence his 'improvement' towards a break even instead of 'losing' player, but that is still miles from a breakeven red line or even a positive sloped one (which of course "may" not be optimal) |
I see what you mean. I guess I don't realize what "Style" of play and severity of leaks will contribute to a red-line looking like that. But I guess I just needed to add my point because I felt it hasn't been covered at all in reading through his blog before. And I feel that is what he needs long term for what he wants out of poker.
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I beat Loco!!! [img]https://i.imgur.com/wkwWj2d.png[/img] | |
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