What is the dumbest thing you've done drunk? - Page 7

Was laying around the house wasted with the wife watching a porno and she gets the great idea that we need another woman in bed with us. So being that it's after 3am and the bars are closed we decided to post an ad for a woman on craig's list. So within about 3mins we get a half dozen replies and of course when you're wasted internet pictures will lie to you. Cause this lady was hott, so we call her up and she lives like 3 blocks away so we toss on some pants and have another few rounds of drinks and head out to met her. We get there and this lady is older than my mother, in fact she had children older than both of us. Breast all deflated just hanging there, and she was a total freak. My first impression was to turn and run, but the alcohol decided that it was okay as long as I had some more to drink, so we took her home, and after a few more rounds of drinks got very freaky all over the house.



Summary:

Drunken 3ways with a complete stranger can be fun, but take time to plan it out while sober.

On December 12 2006 04:54 Craigerson wrote: i did yomers previous roomate doggy style -_-;;

stnd you fag.

On September 05 2008 05:17 Twisted wrote: Show nested quote + On September 05 2008 02:44 Baal wrote: mmm many new stores. I crashed my mom's Audi into a huge curb, i think i fell asleep, so a bypassing pick-up towes me out of the curb before the police arrives but as soon as im starting to get out they arrive so i bribe them for $200 which was all the cash i had, and they wanted more so i started to get violent pushing the cop and they decided it would be better to bail with $200 than to brawl with a drunken guy so they let me go. I had the super plan of just returning the car to my house and claiming that i didnt even notice about the damaged front, that probably somebody crashed it when i was parked, but then my GF saw the car and she pointed out that the car was absolutely demolished with hoses hanging all over the place so my plan wasnt that cunning. Another one we went to a rave but 2 of our female friends decided to sleep in the car cuz they were wasted, so after a couple of hours we return to the car and the cops are sneaking around the car and we are like "whats the problem", they were acting really weird and they said sombody reported a suspicious car.. anyway they left and it turns out they stole the girl's cellphones and cash so we decided to chase them down, but they were gone long ago so in the middle of the night we found a parked police car with nobody inside so we were gong to take revenge on those cops so we broke its windows, punctured the tires and peed in the seats rofl. lol mexico 8D

this is disturbing... god i love australia

sadly. this story isn't of me being drunk tho i was a little buzzed. But it was fucking funny imo
EDIT: btw i am driving in this story

so me and some friends were out dancing with some girlfriends of ours one night til about 2 in the morning. So we're on our way home from some clubs, and its about a 45 minute drive home. So were going through some back roads and a friend of mine jumps out of the silence of the backseat and yells "DUDES! lets get some mushrooms i know where we can get em". So he goes on about his plan and it basically involves, going down some wierd far out roads that are like all farm lands and shit, and basically jumping some fences and getting to an area where there were a ton of cows.

So since atleast at that time i was anti drug, and hated breaking the law. I ofcourse said "Lets do it" because i was considering story EV. So he leads me down these jeapers creepers like roads to some narrow dirt road that basically once u go in, there is no turning around u have to back out of it or are forced to keep going down it. So we arrive at this old fence that theres no way we can climb over, but yet somehow apparently either my friend had blueprints to this farm prison break style or he had been here before. In which case he leads us straight to this hole in the fence where he holds it up for us to crawl through. Obv i go last because this is puerto rico and if theres a chupacabra running around i wanna be the one that gets away.

So basically we had no flashlights and no gloves. Instead we had dressshirts, and cellphones, and we start digging in cow shit looking for where mushrooms could be, and were looking around for about 35 minutes analizing all the shit we can find. Apparently though, mushrooms only grow in cow shit. So in the distance he sees a bull and yells out "Guys! this is a whole lot of bullshit!" I had never heard that phrase ever uttered in a more literal sense than that moment. And we all recognized it and start lmao.

Anyway the entire time we were there, we found 4 tiny mushrooms. And it was a huge waste of time. We had some complications getting out but aside from some digging of a new hole it was no problemo -_-

ROFL THE MICHAEL STORY CRACKS ME UP EVERYTIME!!!!!!

told a foreigner that he was dressed pretty bad and he should change clothes because he was in brazil (!!!)

yea wtf, when I remember this I'm still surprised i didn't get a shut up and a punch straight at my mouth

Drank a liter of 100 proof vodka and spent the night in the hospital with a ~.45 BAC

dont remember anything past 4pm of the day i drank and i started drinking at 7 or so

lol i've got some good ones since i've been in college

I've got a couple.. One is dumb other is pretty cool..

Dumbiest thing ever.. Out of the list.. I'd have to say when I was walking home drunk from Naked Turtle we saw a Police Car sitting in the train station parking lot. (Only Bar./Marina and Trainstation on this street. Anyways, we were pointing out the cop to passing cars as we walked up the road. We see the police car leaving and around the same time we see this Road Sign laying next to Rail Road tracks. So a friend and I picked the sign up. Was a pole with a green Arrow sign. We walk about 10 feet and guess who comes back around a side street. Yeah, that damn lesbian Butchy police officer trapped us.. She knew we'd either piss in the road or do something "DRUNK".. Long story short spent 2 hours in holding then posted $250 bail.. Yeah $250 lol. We got charged with Criminal Possesion of Stolen Property. Charges were dropped following Wednesday (Court date) Judge joked around with us and said atleast we were walking. (Sweet when your buddies mom is PO so close with the judical system here.)

Something good and funny I did one night walking home.

As my friend (same kid) and I were walking home we were passing by Local Church. Yeah I know it sounds bad already but its not. The Church had a sign outfront saying something about there Harvest Dinner etc.. Well being October I decided to change the sign to just "Harvest Weed Now" Then I just set the letters in a shrub near by.. Church ended up getting rid of sign and no longer use it to announce events.

about a week ago, i went to a frat party during rush week, so there was obv a ton of free beer. i had like 4 or 5 beers and did a couple of keg stands and then i don't remember anything from the night.

so supposively me and two of my friends are stumbling back to our dorms and we're yelling at random girls and giving them ratings on a scale of 1-10 and if a girl wasn't that hot we would be like ERRRRRRRRRRRRRR (like they do if a contestant gets a question wrong).

so i eventually get back to my dorm and slam the door behind me, waking up my roomate that has class early in the morning. so when he wakes up he says, "WTF are you doing?!". and i'm like "dude it's ok, worry about it tommorrow." then he said i pulled out a trash can and started pissing in it. he's still yelling at me, asking me wtf i'm doing and i just kept repeating, "WORRY ABOUT IT TOMMORROW".

another night when i actually wasn't too shitfaced but still really drunk, me and a lot of friends went to this bar that a frat rented out (rush week again). i was at a friend's house before i went and we all drank over there for a little while, so we were all pretty buzzed.

we then went to this bar/club place where there was a huge line. all my friends went to the back of it, so i said fuck that and gave the bouncer a hundo to let me cut everyone and not get marked up, so i could order drinks inside. when i get inside i go right to the bar and order a few beers and chill for awhile. after a few drinks, i go and talk with these two girls that are pretty cool/look decent. more talking, then we all decide to take some patron shots. after that, we went out to the dance floor and had a good time.

so after dancing, we went back over to the bar area and just chilled/talked, then out of nowhere, ONE OF THE BITCHES THROWS UP ON ME

i get really pissed b/c there goes any chance of getting laid + my new polo is fucking ruined. so i throw the polo away, drink 3 shots of patron, and just go back to my dorm.

i also supposively passed out on our bathroom rug and pissed everywhere. FML

and im a little drunk now btw

On September 05 2008 12:56 DooMeR wrote: sadly. this story isn't of me being drunk tho i was a little buzzed. But it was fucking funny imo EDIT: btw i am driving in this story so me and some friends were out dancing with some girlfriends of ours one night til about 2 in the morning. So we're on our way home from some clubs, and its about a 45 minute drive home. So were going through some back roads and a friend of mine jumps out of the silence of the backseat and yells "DUDES! lets get some mushrooms i know where we can get em". So he goes on about his plan and it basically involves, going down some wierd far out roads that are like all farm lands and shit, and basically jumping some fences and getting to an area where there were a ton of cows. So since atleast at that time i was anti drug, and hated breaking the law. I ofcourse said "Lets do it" because i was considering story EV. So he leads me down these jeapers creepers like roads to some narrow dirt road that basically once u go in, there is no turning around u have to back out of it or are forced to keep going down it. So we arrive at this old fence that theres no way we can climb over, but yet somehow apparently either my friend had blueprints to this farm prison break style or he had been here before. In which case he leads us straight to this hole in the fence where he holds it up for us to crawl through. Obv i go last because this is puerto rico and if theres a chupacabra running around i wanna be the one that gets away. So basically we had no flashlights and no gloves. Instead we had dressshirts, and cellphones, and we start digging in cow shit looking for where mushrooms could be, and were looking around for about 35 minutes analizing all the shit we can find. Apparently though, mushrooms only grow in cow shit. So in the distance he sees a bull and yells out "Guys! this is a whole lot of bullshit!" I had never heard that phrase ever uttered in a more literal sense than that moment. And we all recognized it and start lmao. Anyway the entire time we were there, we found 4 tiny mushrooms. And it was a huge waste of time. We had some complications getting out but aside from some digging of a new hole it was no problemo -_-

Imo cristina's story was better

Hmm, let me think, did some crazy shit myself and got a couple of good stories that involves friends + an epic fieldtrip with my last year of high school to the Czech Republic (read: very cheap beer for 17-18 year olds and a legendary drink called ''Absinth'')

One night we got into a fight while standing in the line to get into a club (one of my mates gets very annoying and aggressive when drunk) and the bouncers come up to us trying to pull away both groups and one of my mates just punched the bouncer straight in the face (best thing is, my friend is 60 kg and about 1.70m tall, the bouncer was like almost 2.00m tall and obviously very big and musculant) so after that hero punch he gets his ass kicked by the bouncer and we skip out before the cops come take us in for a night in jail.

There was this random Christmass tree (like 4-5m high or so) still standing in the park like the 2nd week of January and we decided it'd be a fucking great idea to climb it after some good drinking in town and basically it was just loads of shouting random crap, climbing this big ass tree and falling out of it.

On my trip to Czech with all of the graduating classes (like 45-50 people along, it was optional) came along we actually completely trashed our hotel room (hotel room was shared by 4-5 people) after the entire group was shitfaced on Absinth. Basically it comes down to breaking random crap and getting half a bottle of wine on the supposedly white wall of the room hahaha and taking a piss in both the elevator and the staircase all the way down.

After a couple days we went to the country side and we almost lit an entire forest on fire. We were building a campfire but it kind of accidently got out of control and some surrounding trees almost caught fire. So some shitfaced guys including me got a fire extinguisher inside but thought it was a good idea to test it first so we emptied the entire thing in the different rooms and toilets in the hotel. Basically the entire place was covered in white powder and this random smokey stuff that comes out of those fire extinquishers. Pretty funny sight hahahaha.

Also some more random fights because of my aggressive friend but nothing too special except for the one with the bouncer.

Ok fine ill tell that one jorge.

So im hanging out with this girl i was basically going out with at the time and we also had a friend of mines kid brother (dont ask how he ended up with us, long story)(hes 14 at the time, im 17 and shes 16). we were going to the movies but the power went out when we got there so we had to brainstorm what to do since we couldn't. So "girl x" decides that she wants to go drinking and shes gonna pay for me. So i said whatever sounds good, ofcourse she will hook up the drinks since shes hot and no one says no to hot girls.

Anyway so we get there, start drinking and we meet up with some friends. So we just hang out for a while, shes chillin on my lap and then her exgirlfriend runs into us (yes she is bi) and they start chatting and then im like w/e im not gonna be a tool, so i go hang out and sort of ditch them. 45 minutes later, i decide im done for the night and im going home, i tell my 14 year old friend and hes like aight. So i call her up to find where shes at, and she sounds retarded, she keeps repeating the phrase "i can't hear anything!", but to her credit it sounded like she was front row at a metallica concert. So i actually see her while were still on the phone and shes standing directly infront of the biggest speaker ive ever seen, but yet shes making no effort to even move a little, and its not like shes stuck there by masses of people, theres like no one around her. Shes just in a haze. So im like bleh, lets go. Shes like ok 1 sec, and she runs up to the bar
and chugs 2 jackdaniels shots. Apparently the bartender was giving her free shots (shes real hot). So im like bleh lets go. So as were walking to the car im sort of probing her to see how much she drank, and shes giggling her ass off telling me 12 shots. I'm sort of speechless. So anyway were in the car on the way home (30 minute drive) and not 2 seconds in the car she starts hitting on me and feeling me up. My friend's kid brother is in the backseat, getting his sex education from this. And she keeps going on and on, and decides shes gonan take off her and my seatbelt and attempt to straddle me while driving. So im like WHOA wtf, basically most awkward shit ever. I tell her to chill the fuck out and she sort of stops but is still teasing.

10 minutes into the drive home, she starts to say she doesn't feel great. So she does this sort of burp, and i'm dart my eyes right at hers and say "NO!" and litterally point at her same way i would if i was gonna scold my dog. And not 2 seconds later she makes the barf face. but looks straight up, and her mouth erupts like a volcano, and then she like shakes her head while she does it to get maximum surface area apparently. I saw her come my way and i dodged that shit like a hippy at war time, litterally swerving 2 lanes on the highway. I was SOOOo pissed. and she turns to me with the face of the exorcist girl all puked on and says "sorry...." and then 2 seconds later pukes again. I'm LIKE FUCK, i had no time to stop or anything. So then i see a macdonalds and i decided to go stop at it, so she can use the bathroom and i can clean out my car.

I had to take a moment to take off my shirt and walk around redneck style. I walk in afterwards to grab as many napkins as i can, and i hear barfing noises from the bathroom grossing everyone eating out. I'm like *sigh*, and walk out to clean out my car, 20 minutes later im just sitting there with my friend bored as shit like "wtf". So i see her walking out and she gets in, i take off to take her home and not 2 feet from the parking spot she says "fuck i forgot my phone, aj get it for me." then instantly curls up like a cat on the frontseat and passes out. I'm like wtf.... then im like fine w/e i walk right into the girls bathroom and as im going towards the door 2 really hot girls say "hey you need to get her outta here shes so sick". So i am too annoyed to even respond with words so i give them a pirate arg loudly and head right in. I walk in and i see the bathroom remodeled with a special barf smelling paint, especially all over the floor. I'm like W T F. as i look in the stall for her phone, i see that somehow the toilet has miraculously been sheilded from the onslaught of vomit, that or she missed.

So theres no phone i decide shes retarded, and get in the car, and head right to her house. She was slipping in and out of consciousness and would do random things, going through one of the mountains she declares "I'm cold! and opens the window on her side, to let in the coldest mountain air imaginable, and proceeds to go back to sleep. So im freezing my ass off cuz im half naked and my pants are wet with barf, but i gotta get this bitch outta here. So i arrive at her house shivering and thinking im gonna lose my legs to frost bite, really pissed off and she says something in her drunken state like "i feel better". but she wouldn't move, so i go over to her side, open the door for her like a gentlemen and tell her "aight get out". She puts one leg out of the car, faces outside, and then pauses a second. Then shes like Oh god. And barfs, while turning her head directly back inside my car and just vomits all over my rug. I yell "OUTSIDE! BITCH OUTSIDE". then she stops and i just grab her by the arm, coldly tell her "dont lay face up" and half carry her upstairs, and drop her inside the house. Then i take off and go home (this was a wensday night).

So i get to school the nextday, and our school was super fucking tiny, so somehow everyone and their mother knows about this story of barfing girl trying to rape me. (my 14 year old friend has a big mouth) So me and her walk in and everyone starts laughing hysterically and pointing. It was pretty humiliating to say the least.

LOL! never ceases to amaze me. Good read would read again

once upon a time a little mexican flew across the country from florida to oregon. and within 2 hours of touchdown he threw up and passed out


the end.


so epic.

meow. yomer its a story of doing something while drunk, not being drunk. U silly koreans and your damn puppyburgers

i got beat up with my pants down

Last night, after being denied entry to the casino for being too drunk i attempted to get a comped hotel room at SkyCity under the name "Fazi"

needless to say, it didnt work.

Then i went to mcdonalds, and gave a cheeseburger to a pregnant girl