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RiKD    United States. Sep 16 2017 18:38. Posts 4226
Hi dear reader, I am limiting the number of blogs I write but it is like I had withdraw and I would rather write a blog than watch tv. I think writing a blog has more value than watching tv. There aren't too many other activities I could fit in this time so here I am. I realize this is a forum of mostly gamblers and gamers but I do appreciate any suggestions or experiences. Here are some facts:

- I am not that happy at my job. I have a longing to get away from some of these more mundane and tedious jobs. I tried produce picking and didn't like it. I tried security guard and was not too pleased. Seafood clerk was not ideal and it is really feeling like this foray into food and bev and food prep is not for me. The only way it really makes sense is if I have a passion to be a chef which I don't.

- It was said on here before that we need to enjoy our job or enjoy our life. I think it is difficult to enjoy ones' life on a shitty job especially if the income is low. I realize jobs can be shitty on any level of the pay scale. It is certainly easier to enjoy ones' life on a shitty high paying job as long as the hours aren't shitty.

- It is just flat out hard to get a lot out of life on a 2nd shift job. Still, connections are possible and I need to be seeking that out. I took a wonderful walk on the beach today and that is one of the things that I really can't go wrong with.

- They say it is easier to get a job if you have a job. That is one of the reasons why I have held off putting in my 2 weeks. So many times putting in my 2 weeks crosses my mind and so many times it passes or I just don't do it. I don't know if I am afraid to do it or many times it ends up my job is really not that bad and I am being a baby? There was talk about November and I was like "god, am I really going to be here in November? October? I don't even want to be here tomorrow or today."

- So, the easy answer is I need another job. The crux is I don't know what I want to do. I could just end up being in these whatever jobs for eternity. It feels that way. It feels that I have to do something decisive to get out of here. I currently don't have the gumption, the awareness, the courage, the passion to make a move like that and I don't know what it will take to get me there. I also struggle with applying for jobs. So, it is important to clean my room yet I just don't do it. Applying to jobs certainly has more value than watching tv or posting on LP.

I guess it is the same problem that it has been for maybe 3 years. Maybe my whole life.

So, what do I do?

I guess I try out another industry I may be interested in. Connect more with people. Get the resumes into places that aren't dead end.

Figure out ways to get better connection into my days. Also, I seem to always feel better after exercise even if it is just a 40 min. walk. That is really the big 2 I can think of right now.

I just wanted to get something down on paper. I could have just done a personal journal but there is discussion on here that helps sometimes.

Peace.

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hiems   United States. Sep 16 2017 19:02. Posts 1352

Dude I mean like the philosophy stuff Loco can cover but the way you talk about job stuff I am kind of like wow does he not realize Xyz really basic things about jobs/careers/etc. Your just like approaching the problem the wrong way and doing the same thing over and over again.


RiKD    United States. Sep 16 2017 19:14. Posts 4226

Yeah, I know.

I know a lot of people just find a career that makes the most money, has the most jobs, the most growth, the best hypothesized future, job security, the list can go on. I think about that stuff of course but with poker while the money that could be made was certainly a big draw I really just fell in love with the game. The money was maybe part of that it is tough to say how much. The strategy and complexity is what really hooked me and kept me playing all those hours. My job after poker the starting point is what got me. I wouldn't have to grind doing jobs I am doing right now but could go right into a decent wage. Maybe that came back to bite me but I was interested and fascinated by the steel industry even though some of the negatives of it really brought me down.

I really may not know xyz things about jobs/careers/etc. I wanted to be a professional soccer player in elementary school. I didn't know what the hell I wanted to be in high school. I started out as a business major that was going to do big things in business but hated the classes so picked History because I liked the one class I was in. Then I found poker and just did that. Then when I stopped playing poker I got help with a job. After leaving that job due to alcoholism I have struggled since then and yeah I have basically being doing the same thing over and over again for 3 years. I have slightly more knowledge but still no solution.


PoorUser    United States. Sep 16 2017 21:40. Posts 7348

dont known dick about jobs but you ever try training for some kind of event? getting in shape to run a 5k/half marathon, swimming, tough mudder'esque events could be a good fit for you. i have trouble exercising by myself unless i have some time sensitive goal to work towards so that works for me. seems like exercising is a good thing for you and everything else tends to be easier to work out when you're healthy

Moneys gotta go in here 

hiems   United States. Sep 16 2017 23:44. Posts 1352

i just feel like the indeed.com + work on resume thing isn't really for you. i don't think you are magically going to find a listing that is going to just be the nuts and change everything barring some additional experience/investment in your self. definitely you need to invest in yourself, right now the odds are too much against you.

general rules like, "its easier to get a job if you have a job" isn't for you either. definitely not yet at least, you are really far away i think. (newsflash, you didn't invest >$100k or whatever for your current job/industry and you are applying for entry level positions). in fact you hardly invested anything at all as mentioned earlier.

it just feels to me like you aren't spending your time well. not even just talking about the blogging. last thing id say is to not compare yourself to your siblings/in-laws, etc and do what will work for you. its going to take some time.


bigredhoss   Cook Islands. Sep 17 2017 01:46. Posts 8573


  On September 16 2017 18:14 RiKD wrote:
I know a lot of people just find a career that makes the most money, has the most jobs, the most growth, the best hypothesized future, job security, the list can go on.



Two comments:

1. I think your perception on this is skewed. If people are generally approaching their careers based on those criteria, why does the number of Education, Business, English, Philosophy, etc. majors completely dwarf the number of Math, Engineering, and Physics majors? Part of it is certainly that the former are easier, but at least half of the students in 'softer' majors could probably hack it in one of the harder ones if they really wanted to. Why don't they? A few have a genuine passion for Greek mythology, Eastern philosophy, or whatever; most don't. They make a conscious decision that the financial benefits of the latter aren't worth the effort.

My point is that your attitude towards finding a job - your skepticism about what if any career path may end up leading to a fulfilling life - is the rule, not the exception. Becoming functionally paralyzed with existential angst is a more common leak than the tunnel vision and mindless chasing of money/things, especially if you throw out the bottom 50% of IQs. This may not have been true 20-30 years ago, but it is today. The reason it's impacting you more than most is probably some combination of delusion/unrealistic expectations from poker, and the parental safety net (there's no motivator like true necessity, and as long as you're depending on your parents you won't have that).

2. What other objective criteria do you think people should be basing their career decisions on? There's a proven correlation with happiness and income (up to a point), and it holds true even for people who don't believe money makes them happy.

There's more I'd like to say on this but I have to go. Also +1 PU's sentiments about finding ways to motivate yourself to get in shape. There's probably nothing in my life that has better overall happiness ROI than taking the time to exercise and eat somewhat healthy. The marathons and stuff were never my thing but they seem to work for a lot of people, anything that gets you in the habit of being healthier is probably worth it.

Truck-Crash LifeLast edit: 17/09/2017 01:53

TheTrees   United States. Sep 17 2017 03:07. Posts 1591

You're a smart guy. I've been reading your blogs for a while. Do you not have a degree?


Stroggoz   New Zealand. Sep 17 2017 04:27. Posts 3576

nvm lol

I was GTO in 2007 -wobbly_auLast edit: 17/09/2017 04:29

wobbly_au   Australia. Sep 17 2017 12:10. Posts 6528

One thing One day at a time! GL

The Last Laugh. 

Nitewin   United States. Sep 17 2017 13:57. Posts 924

First, I love your attitude. I've been reading your depressing blogs for god knows how long. You've come a long way in shifting your mindset.

It's great that you've identified the problem. Now what's the solution? It's hard to answer because everybody has the same struggles and lives their own journey.

I agree with bigredhoss on parental safety net and true necessity. I'm currently living with that handicap somewhat.



My suggestions:

Uber + Coding. Have you tried learning how to code? freecodecamp . com. Free education into some pretty decent careers. The future is internet of things, basically connecting tech to everything. So there will be jobs and with decent pay, or even top tier pay depending how much you learn. Coding is organized analytical thinking. You seem smart enough to do it. Uber is freedom of hours. Driving and occasional conversation with people shouldn't be that bad. Figure out how to save on taxes with that on uberpeople . net.

Also, you could try audible . com. It's $15 per month for 1 audiobook per month. The best way to get info on how to solve a problem that you have no answer to is to have it fed to you by someone knowledgeable. But if that person doesn't exist, then you have to find it yourself, either online or in a book (or experience). Audiobooks can be listened to on your commute, sometimes even during work, and it's more productive than TV. Books can be like advice from people in the form of a book, rather than a forum post. Find the right book and info to put you in an even better mindset for success.

Good luck. I look forward to your next forum post when you take another step towards your ideal life.





napoleono   Romania. Sep 17 2017 15:14. Posts 767

You just have to own it up man, sometimes you just have to do something that you don't like and just put yourself out there. Meanwhile you can start learning some coding or develop some skills that are desired in the job market now. No job will appear out of nowhere, giving you big bucks, low hours of work and also enjoyable.


Baalim   Mexico. Sep 18 2017 05:17. Posts 31590

why are you trying these menial jobs that you dont like?, dont get me wrong I can see the appeal and the peace of simple manual labor but it has to be something you enjoy.

For example if I were looking for a simple job I'd probably get training and get a job in a mechanical shop or woodworking or something like that, dont look for job offering look for what area you like, learn the craft and then find the job and leave these mindless boring jobs for unfortunate people who cant do any better

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RiKD    United States. Sep 18 2017 18:21. Posts 4226


  On September 16 2017 20:40 PoorUser wrote:
dont known dick about jobs but you ever try training for some kind of event? getting in shape to run a 5k/half marathon, swimming, tough mudder'esque events could be a good fit for you. i have trouble exercising by myself unless i have some time sensitive goal to work towards so that works for me. seems like exercising is a good thing for you and everything else tends to be easier to work out when you're healthy



I think the tough mudder + spartan route might be a way. I am really pretty content to take 30min - 1 hr walks about 3x a week but I am a bit overweight and I seem to always have issues moderating my diet. I can't outrun my mouth but like in jiu jitsu when I was burning calories and training it motivated me to eat better and I lost weight and felt better too. I could probably meet other people training for these events which would be a win win. Plus, training 5x a week just means I feel better than I normally would 5x a week. Good suggestion. I don't know if I will follow through but ideally I would do something like this.


RiKD    United States. Sep 18 2017 18:30. Posts 4226


  On September 16 2017 22:44 hiems wrote:
i just feel like the indeed.com + work on resume thing isn't really for you. i don't think you are magically going to find a listing that is going to just be the nuts and change everything barring some additional experience/investment in your self. definitely you need to invest in yourself, right now the odds are too much against you.

general rules like, "its easier to get a job if you have a job" isn't for you either. definitely not yet at least, you are really far away i think. (newsflash, you didn't invest >$100k or whatever for your current job/industry and you are applying for entry level positions). in fact you hardly invested anything at all as mentioned earlier.

it just feels to me like you aren't spending your time well. not even just talking about the blogging. last thing id say is to not compare yourself to your siblings/in-laws, etc and do what will work for you. its going to take some time.



$100k seems a bit high. Give an example of $100k that is not Doctor or Lawyer or other going to prestigious private schools. I guess you add in post-graduate. How does one even spend a ton outside of school?

I mean I have invested in an education. A liberal arts education. One problem may be that I am not looking into fields relating to history. That might help me. I never had a real passion for history though. I just thought it was cool to learn and discuss some of that stuff and then arguing things in papers from the eyes of a history detective came natural to me. It's not like I have aspirations to be an electrical engineer. The problem is I don't know what my aspirations are.


RiKD    United States. Sep 18 2017 19:22. Posts 4226


  On September 17 2017 00:46 bigredhoss wrote:
Show nested quote +



Two comments:

1. I think your perception on this is skewed. If people are generally approaching their careers based on those criteria, why does the number of Education, Business, English, Philosophy, etc. majors completely dwarf the number of Math, Engineering, and Physics majors? Part of it is certainly that the former are easier, but at least half of the students in 'softer' majors could probably hack it in one of the harder ones if they really wanted to. Why don't they? A few have a genuine passion for Greek mythology, Eastern philosophy, or whatever; most don't. They make a conscious decision that the financial benefits of the latter aren't worth the effort.

My point is that your attitude towards finding a job - your skepticism about what if any career path may end up leading to a fulfilling life - is the rule, not the exception. Becoming functionally paralyzed with existential angst is a more common leak than the tunnel vision and mindless chasing of money/things, especially if you throw out the bottom 50% of IQs. This may not have been true 20-30 years ago, but it is today. The reason it's impacting you more than most is probably some combination of delusion/unrealistic expectations from poker, and the parental safety net (there's no motivator like true necessity, and as long as you're depending on your parents you won't have that).

2. What other objective criteria do you think people should be basing their career decisions on? There's a proven correlation with happiness and income (up to a point), and it holds true even for people who don't believe money makes them happy.

There's more I'd like to say on this but I have to go. Also +1 PU's sentiments about finding ways to motivate yourself to get in shape. There's probably nothing in my life that has better overall happiness ROI than taking the time to exercise and eat somewhat healthy. The marathons and stuff were never my thing but they seem to work for a lot of people, anything that gets you in the habit of being healthier is probably worth it.


I didn't mean that was the only criteria. There is always the do what you are passionate about crowd and then there is the make money crowd. In reality it should always be a negotiation of these things. I think in my life I was probably happiest when I was making low six figures doing something I was at times passionate about and had a lot of freedom. There are a lot of other qualities of that time that led to that. I could live wherever I wanted, I had great friends, I could more or less do what I wanted to do. Looking back though I was seemingly just as happy getting clean and sober in Pittsburgh. Again, I had great friends and the lack of money just did not matter in those circles. Whether people had money or not we all just sort of did the same things. Some people could afford a pricey steakhouse but most nights we would just converse at a diner. AA meetings gave me something to do among other things. My income was like $20,000/yr and I was happy. I could see bumping that up to $40,000 so I could get my own place and have a little more flexibility and as long as I have some great friends and a job I didn't dread going to life could be pretty good.

I agree that the parental safety net is holding me back but it is a tricky one. I have a lot of mental illness and a drinking problem. The last time I was on my own (in my own apartment) was sheer hell. I don't know if it is related but my parents are out of town and I have really been having a bad time at work and I am having panic attacks. It is like my parents are my best friends and I know that is not ideal and I know getting shelter from them is not ideal. At least I am not getting money from them but I am just kind of squeaking by in a job I don't like. I am doing my best but I can't see myself moving out and supporting myself at the job I am in. Quitting obviously hurts the money flow. I agree with hiems that the indeed.com + working on my resume thing just seems to get me into these dead end situations but I need to be doing something.


  2. What other objective criteria do you think people should be basing their career decisions on? There's a proven correlation with happiness and income (up to a point), and it holds true even for people who don't believe money makes them happy.



The most convincing thing I have seen from some Harvard psychologist was that money and happiness are very much linked up until about $40,000 - $75,000 and after that people don't know what to do with it.

I have a good friend who makes about $30,000 a year. I think he may be a bit happier on $40,000 but I don't think it is that much of a deal. He leads a pretty full and happy life but I have seen that he can be a bit handcuffed on where to go out to eat or wanting to travel somewhere.

My brother's household income is about $200,000 or maybe even more. He just buys like houses that are too big for him and a bunch of stuff. He has all this yard work to do. So, I think he is generally pretty happy but I don't know what they are doing. Maybe they are trying to retire early like my sister in law's parents did but then what do you do with your time. What I am saying is my brother seems just as happy as when he was a broke PhD student. Honestly, my brother I think is happiest just being left alone and playing video games. It has been the same since he was coming over to my friends house just so he could play Nintendo all day.

On the other hand I think my dad gets it right. Before he retired and got an even better consulting gig he was making $300,000 + bonuses. It helped that he loved his job. That is a serious luckbox. It is also probably part of why he could move up in the industry the way he did. Anyways, he had a large home when the 4 children were growing up but then downsized. The thing is I think my parents actually do make the extra money go far. They love to travel and are pretty much free to travel wherever they want. It helps that my dad is the highest level vip at all the airlines. This is stuff that goes far. So, I would say they are a lot happier.

I heard it said once that the curve would look like steps. $40,000 - $75,000 is all about the same maybe even going up more than that. $500,000 gives a lot of freedom. $2 mil and there aren't a lot of things off the table. $10 mil you can retire and do pretty much whatever you want to do. $100 mil is like freeroll life, private jets, big time f u money.

At this point in my life I would have to get pretty lucky to make more than $500k a year so I really should just be focusing on getting somewhere in that $40,000 -$75,000 range and crafting a life around that.


RiKD    United States. Sep 18 2017 19:23. Posts 4226


  On September 17 2017 02:07 TheTrees wrote:
You're a smart guy. I've been reading your blogs for a while. Do you not have a degree?



I have a History degree from The Ohio State University

I really hate that they say "The" but that is actually what is proper.


RiKD    United States. Sep 18 2017 19:26. Posts 4226


  On September 17 2017 11:10 wobbly_au wrote:
One thing One day at a time! GL



Wobbly,

What's up man? Good to see you back.

I can't tell if you mean "One thing at a time, one day at a time" or "Focus on one thing each day, every day" or "Focus on one thing and one thing only over days"?


RiKD    United States. Sep 18 2017 19:31. Posts 4226


  On September 17 2017 12:57 Nitewin wrote:
First, I love your attitude. I've been reading your depressing blogs for god knows how long. You've come a long way in shifting your mindset.

It's great that you've identified the problem. Now what's the solution? It's hard to answer because everybody has the same struggles and lives their own journey.

I agree with bigredhoss on parental safety net and true necessity. I'm currently living with that handicap somewhat.



My suggestions:

Uber + Coding. Have you tried learning how to code? freecodecamp . com. Free education into some pretty decent careers. The future is internet of things, basically connecting tech to everything. So there will be jobs and with decent pay, or even top tier pay depending how much you learn. Coding is organized analytical thinking. You seem smart enough to do it. Uber is freedom of hours. Driving and occasional conversation with people shouldn't be that bad. Figure out how to save on taxes with that on uberpeople . net.

Also, you could try audible . com. It's $15 per month for 1 audiobook per month. The best way to get info on how to solve a problem that you have no answer to is to have it fed to you by someone knowledgeable. But if that person doesn't exist, then you have to find it yourself, either online or in a book (or experience). Audiobooks can be listened to on your commute, sometimes even during work, and it's more productive than TV. Books can be like advice from people in the form of a book, rather than a forum post. Find the right book and info to put you in an even better mindset for success.

Good luck. I look forward to your next forum post when you take another step towards your ideal life.







People have been telling me I should code since 2010 and I have just never done it. I don't know what it is I just have a block there or something. Computer science 200 was the worst I did in any class ever. I just couldn't pay attention until I just stopped going to class completely. I was always very good in math but it is like you get a computer involved and I get a serious aversion to it.


RiKD    United States. Sep 18 2017 19:33. Posts 4226


  On September 17 2017 14:14 napoleono wrote:
No job will appear out of nowhere, giving you big bucks, low hours of work and also enjoyable.



I wish it was false but so so true


RiKD    United States. Sep 18 2017 19:36. Posts 4226


  On September 18 2017 04:17 Baalim wrote:
why are you trying these menial jobs that you dont like?, dont get me wrong I can see the appeal and the peace of simple manual labor but it has to be something you enjoy.

For example if I were looking for a simple job I'd probably get training and get a job in a mechanical shop or woodworking or something like that, dont look for job offering look for what area you like, learn the craft and then find the job and leave these mindless boring jobs for unfortunate people who cant do any better



Yes, I need to get out of the cycle of trying out these menial jobs that I don't like. It is crazy that I did not really see that pattern until making this thread.


 
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