Well it's New Years Eve afternoon here in Taipei and I played my last session of 2009 which ended pretty bad. As I write this, I am in one of the most upset moods of my entire career. This game is seriously taking its toll on me. Not so much the game and its variance, but rather the notion that again, I've failed to meet my goals. Such great aspirations, hopes, momentum to start the year and I can't shake this feeling of failure.
2009 Goal: $150k, at least 500 or 600k hands. Later changed to just $100k.
Final Result: $80k, 400k hands.
I started the month 5k away from 100k and I managed to fuck it up. I end December 2009 as a 14k loser (6k from live), going down in history as the single worst month of my entire career, and it had to come at just about the worst time. It's really unfair how this game can be sometimes.
A lot of you will say that 80k isn't anything to complain about. I know it could be a lot worse, but the reality of the matter is I play this game professionally and it is my only means of income. I devote everyday of my life to poker in one way or another. It's really frustrating knowing how far I've come only to know that I'm still more or less terrible in the grand scheme of things, with extremely mediocre results to boot.
I won a tournament for 12k at the beginning of 2009 (literally 364 days ago) but since then I've squandered those winnings in other tournament buy ins, random degening, etc. so basically the essential makeup of my 2009 results are online cash results and rakeback as everything else canceled each other out.
I have really big plans for 2010. I currently wake up every weekday at 8 AM and go to an office in Taipei where I am a part-owner and lead instructor of a Taipei-based poker training school. So due to that I have a ridic good routine/atmosphere/schedule which I was missing in the entirety of 2009. I've taken up boxing, which combined with my passion for teaching, adds a tremendous deal of balance to my life. Due to this routine I obviously plan on playing a LOT more hands than 400k (I'm very sure if I did 500k hands on the year I would've hit 100k, which makes me upset that me not making my monetary goal in part has to do with my shitty work ethic). 2010 is also the first year I'm eligible to play in the WSOP, so if things go well I plan to play some events as well.
I take some solace in the fact that I will be starting 2010 playing 2/4 and higher, as I started 2009 playing 1/2 and it took quite some time to transition into 2/4 fully. If anything, it means I've at least had SOME progress.
Happy New Year everyone, it's going to be a crucial year. I've set a preliminary goal of $200k, with at least 600k hands.
card removal all-in equity range calculatorby jchysk, December 31
Recently, after talking to woodbrave and firah, who both wanted something pretty similar I started scripting what I thought would be a simple enough calculator.
Here's the php version for just card removal: http://www.jchysk.com/testing/flophands.php
About an hour into scripting I realized the big problem I was facing was computational time and switched over to C++. Another hour in I realized this was going to be extremely slow.
The basic idea is take any preflop hand and use card removal to figure out opponent hands. Based on the range you select them having it goes through all their hands in that range (not nPr 48,5 but nCr 48,5 or nCr 45,2 if there's a flop)
Use a 7-card evaluator on every board to figure out win, loss, or tie.
Loop through the steps to accumulate all wins, losses, and ties until each opponent's hand in range has been accounted for.
The numbers start getting big, but still doable, until an additional player and range is included.
After I realized this wasn't going to be practical for any use at all simply because computers are too slow and it would take me forever to optimize and tweak it full of shortcuts to speed the process up I decided to look online and see what has already been developed. Too bad I didn't make that step 1, because I definitely wasted a lot of time on something that wasn't going to happen.
I suppose I'm just so used to thinking hardware is cheap and incredibly fast these days that you can write inefficient brute force code to get what you want without much consequence. It's yet another big punch in the face wake up call to be reminded how voluminous the permutations in poker really are.
Already -8bi below EV in 3k hands today. Fuk this end of year !
Almost went back to the stone age. Need to fucking work my leaks and stop spewing even though you know you're beat and wanted to be right. Too much money wasted.
2010 here i come you cheap bastard better get me 1 mirrion or i'm gonna be fkin angry @ u world.
Not everyone here browses TL, so I thought I'd make this post here.
Just some pictures of me with my toys and a video to bring in the new year (sorry for the intonation, I have tons of excuses xD)
My MasterCard doesn't seem to be working for some reason and I happened to have some cash on my Paypal account. Can a reputable member send me around $40 on FTP? I'll be sending whatever I have in my Paypal ($48.59 CAD) to the member.
this is my second year playing poker and I'm pretty disappointed in myself as I didn't put in nearly enough hands and had tilted/spewed away a lot I also stopped moving up for whatever reason and limited myself
In total I made 130k or something this year and ran like 50k under ev which probably cost me a lot more money since I spewed a bit when I ran bad
I feel I've gotten better the last quarter of the year at tilt control and make less mistakes but still fail at getting hands in
I'll take tomorrow off and in 2010 I'll try to improve and move up and play twice as many hands as I did this year and play all of them to the best of my ability and not worry about results
non poker related
I moved out 2 weeks ago got a 2 bedroom apartment for 1050/month which I guess its pretty decent I like it so far and I'm learning how to cook so hopefully will lead to me eating more healthy
school starts again next monday 6 more months and I'm done with highschool and I'm deciding between taking a year off or going to college I'm leaning towards taking time off since I never really did well in school mainly due to me not really going and really genuinely not liking anything about it that and I have shit grades and CANNOT get into ANY university and some colleges lol
if I do wanna go I'll probably have to wait till I'm 19 to apply to college as a mature student or 21 for university I think? this is for Canada so correct me if I'm wrong
I also look forward to playing some live poker when I turn 19 next year at niagara falls
thats all for now and I wish you all luck in the coming year (except those in hands against me I hope you run like a cripple)
It sucks to do this because I hate quitting more than anything in life but it's the right thing to do. I set goals when I came back to poker in October 2008 and I have been unable to achieve those goals. Along this path I also have uncovered a side of me that I never want to see again when it comes to my temper and self control. I still enjoy playing the game but not with the pressure of multi tabling and finding such thin edges. I'm a very social person so I'll still play live a couple times a month with friends or at a local casino but that's it. No more hardcore studying, grinding, and forum reading. I've cancelled all my training site subscriptions. The quality of my life since playing again has gone down. I've noticed it for a while but I felt like it might change if I became a big winner.
If I can give any advice to current micro stakes players it would be to quit now. If you are playing less than NL50 or NL100 right now there is no point in putting in all the work. The attracting glory of this game is the freedom and the low work schedule for the money you can make. By the time you make it to stakes substantial enough that you don't have to be a mass-tabling grind monkey the edges are going to be so small that luck is so supreme. We're seeing a taste of it already. The same people that were pioneers of this game back in 2004 are telling us that the game is dying and drying up, shouldn't we listen to them? I'm going to take the advice and run with it for my own happiness. Luck is so important in this game and as players we try and ignore it because that's what math tells us to do. With edges getting smaller and smaller the long run is getting longer and longer. Luck is so much more than just the stupid EV line on your graph.
I'm going back to school next semester. I'm also unsure if I want to stay in California while I'm in school or finish it back in New York. The temptation out here is so strong and I think I won't be able to maintain focus so I'm going to go over my options and make a decision soon hopefully. But either way, finishing school is what's most important to me in my life right now and I have a lot of people on this site to thank for helping me realize how important school really is.
I cashed out all of my money from PokerStars and I left $1k on FTP just to clear my year end Ironman bonus next month. I'll be using the money to take a vacation. I'm looking to go somewhere international. Some friends and I are thinking about hitting up Mexico City but if any of you have any other recommendations I'd love to hear them.
Completely have rethought my ideas that I had recently. Grinding 180man non turbo sngs is really tough. And I feel it is not worth the time and effort. I am not really learning anything from it. Don't get me wrong, when you reach the final 30 the style of play I really feel comfortable at and can exploit well.
Playing at a FT with huge chipstacks relative to the blinds, I seem to play pretty good and it is really enjoyable. Alot of players play super bad. But I am not really improving as a player, as alot of the FT play, comes down to Pre flop play, and stealing lots of pots. You do not actually learn about how to read hands and play good solid poker post flop. You essentially play fit or fold poker. Its great for learning pre flop edges and 3bet ranges etc. But really, when you get to a higher level of play, everyone else knows this, and it is less easy to exploit, and you must rely on alot of post flop play. This is my weakness.
Time wise playing these games are far to time consuming, and I really am not sure if I am capable of keeping up with it when I return to work next week. I have not cashed exceptionally well. I do not think it is actually because of "bad luck", but I think I just get bored grinding them all day and not getting far. And I am making bad decisions.
This leads me to a few things.
As I said in previous blogs I suck at cash games. I cheated my way to NL50 by cashing in a good MTT, and thought I could actually play at that level. After a decent start I thought I was on track to crush and move up to NL100. I fooled myself and my world came crashing down as I spewed and spewed. Long term looser at NL25 and NL50, I cannot kid myself. Something is fundamentally wrong with my approach to the game.
I watched some videos today, that basically blew my mind. My whole perspective has completely changed, and something inside me has said, "thats enough bullshit matt, time to be honest with yourself". I am starting from scratch. I am grinding 4-6 table at NL10 for the near future, and I am not moving up untill I am beating this limit over a large hand sample (at least 100k hands).
I have so many things to work on, and I am looking forward to learning this game all over again. I will post my 2010 goals here soon.
You know guys how I hate the emo kids whining about ev and bragging about short term pointless wins.
Well, whatever today I am one of them, whats this childs game for if we don't celebrate at least the milestones?
$50 into 5k in 10 months since I started at NL2 (excluding cashouts)
I don't care that variance can struck me tomorrow and I can lose it all, I will be the dude that hit $5k BR forever :o
By the way I run 16BI/$700 below EV this month (combination of NL25/NL50/NL100, 2.5Bi below ev at NL100, most at NL25 where I was actually a loser this month messing with 15+ stacked tables) which makes this feel even better
Ok well I am a goldstar and need like 2003 vpps before dec 32 to be a platinum star. I usually 10 table 50nl when I play. Will it be possible to accomplish this?
As i promised, here are some pics from the next hungarian Playboy.
Her name is Niki Belucci, she is a hungarian dance/house DJ. Also she's an ex-pornstar, just search for her name, i wont link a video here Official site in english with some nice stuff /including more photos/: http://www.belucci.hu/
Main poker goal/resolution: Make it to NL200 by the end of next year.
Minor poker goals: [ ] Start/Beat NL25 over semi-large sample by the end of 2009
[ ] 100k hands cash games by end of January
[ ] Get a good poker coach to help with my game.
[ ] Read some/all of the poker books I have gotten a hold of and not read yet.
[ ] Work on MTT play
[ ] Stop wasting time playing so many SNGs
Life goals: [ ] Strive to be the best person that I can be. (no bs)
[ ] Go out more in general to meet/pick up girls instead of staying home and being a nit.
[ ] Play less starcraft (kind of half-way accomplished, but can't forget where we started, right?)
[ ] Start saving up money every month to build up a bank account for spending money.
[Edit] Also posted stats in the comments, if someone could look at them, I'd really appreciate it!
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Official site in english with some nice stuff /including more photos/: 
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