Thank you for the kindness. In a moment of darkness in which I was lost you allowed me to think and believe the impossible, specifically that everything would be ok and that good things would once again happen to me.
You gave me the strength to believe and you gave it freely and to no personal gain to yourself.
And so now I go out into the world and I pay it forward and although something tells me that you're gone know that you will never be forgotten. This is my love for you which I now speak to the wind to be passed down through time and maybe one day I will be able to help another as I was helped by you.
this is the only way that i know how to live: receptors on blast, mouth open, and driven by a massive ball of psychosexual energy. this is who i am.
they call it hypomania. it's not. for me, it is the normal resting state of my ego. it's me, in every sense of the term.
it's the guy who blasts blueprint 24/7, who likes cigarettes and loves cigars, who loves to fuck people who think the way that he thinks, who gets thirsty and chugs iced tea, and who demolishes all in his path in a socially acceptable way. the lover and the fighter. the killer and the slain through ejaculation. the battered and indignant. the victorious.
Poker is such a sick fucking joke. Variance affects this game more than people think it does. Fucking lifetime downswing in equity.... lose every flip, every 60/40, get set up, lose 3-1's, repeat.
People have no idea.
I returned back to blogging in early August in hopes of motivating the grind. My August goals were:
[ ] 2000 Games Played
[ ] $4,000 in Profits
[ ] MTT bink for $1,000+
BJLTNYK was on point in his assessment. I failed to achieve all 3 unfortunately. I ended down ($225) for the month and only got in about 747 sngs in.
Going to set my September goals in hopes of getting there. I have Borgata Poker Open coming up and I hope to play a few liveaments this month. Will keep you all updated. Best of luck to you all.
September is going to be hard to play 57k hands because the school will interfere and disturb the poker. Nevertheless I will try to play at least 50 k and also I will try to do a decent month such as this one.
And I also got to buy a car in september since im not moving back to CA, Fresno. I will stay in Estonia for this year to attend a better university.
Also lost like 8k US on some other site, but these stats are in € so it's all good. I guess I'm up about 40k + rakeback in total, which would make this one of my best months ever (at least top 3 I think). This is ridiculous considering how I only played 30-35k hands. On the other hand my winrate has been pretty good and I'm actually breakeven on 10/20 for the year now despite consistent losing for the first few months.
Will try to get stuff more on schedule as far as playing, eating, sleeping, school, BJJ etc next month. I feel that something is wrong if I can't get more then 30kish hands in a month without school and I think it has a lot do do with not being time effective. As I wrote in my last post I'm trying to get my sleeping right so I went to sleep at 11pm on Sunday, basically saying "screw turnaments, guys! I'm going home!" in my best Cartman-voice. Woke up at 4.30 since I wanted to have some food before working out, went to BJJ, came home, had another breakfast and such before going to school for some introduction crap. When I got home I felt super tired so I went to sleep at 4pm which probably was a bit to early so now I woke up 2 hours ago at 3.30AM. I think I might be on the right track but I gotta watch this.
Also thinking of starting to try for like 2 90min sessions of poker each day or 5 days a week or something just to make sure that I actually play. Gotta be productive! Also, I'll try to figure this BJJ thingy out. I still am annoyed that I suck at basically everything, but there's a couple of lights in the tunnel.
Despite bitching about working out enough I actually noticed a few days ago that I'm down ~10kg or so since new years eve. Makes me feel good and I'm really motivated to keep getting in better shape. Havn't 100% decided if I'll try to put priority on getting my body fat down or if I should try to get stronger. It'll probably be decided by how much time school takes up.
As in poker, there are also regular 'pokies' players. And, as in poker, over time they develop methods that supposedly make them winning players in their chosen game.
I don't know how many of you have been to the Casino or local club, and watched the regulars at the slot machines, but in case you haven't, I will impart part of their secret tactics to supposed win at the game.
Heres a list:
(1) First, and foremost, I call it 'Wiping the screen'. When you have time, go sit down beside a bunch of baby boomers at the pokies, and notice that when they hit a feature, they will excessively wipe the screen before each spin.
(2) Second, I call it the 'double tap'. Its pretty simple really, rather than push the spin button once, use two quick swift tap motions.
(3) Third, I call it 'tap it ti tap'. Basically, its just excessive unnecessary tapping when they hit a feature. For those of you who don't know, a feature is when you win multipe free spins, and this does not require you to tap.
(4) Fourth, I call it 'rub it'. This is less common, but is still out there. Basically its when the gambler or their companion reach to the side of the machine and give it a couple of rubs.
And theres many more, which you will discover if you keep your eyes peeled. But yeah, if you are not using any of these secret tactics, you obviously doing something wrong at it .
I am looking for a low-midstakes NL coach who can help me take my game to the next level. I want them to be a big winner over a large sample size.
I am interested in something fairly long term where I start playing at 100nl and then build up to higher stakes. I might be interested in some type of profit sharing setup. I do not need a backer or anything because I have my own bankroll. Primarily interested in identifying and plugging leaks in my play.
If any coaches are interested or if anyone has any recommendations please hit me up.
Feeling pretty good (although just finished a bad session). Not satisfied with my current play - there are some spots where I give up too often, and other spots where I am too stationy/aggressive. I don't deal well with aggression from solid regulars, and honestly, after incorrectly calling river bets by regulars and getting burned, maybe fold too much. My handreading is solid but I have such a strong aversion to being bluffed / folding the best hand. That emotional conflict is a huge leak, combined with the fact that I am tilt-prone and emotionally influenced by my results.
There are some hands (tournament and cash) that leave me a little puzzled, so I'll post them in the forums.
The month probably comes to 4k (+ rakeback) (- donkament buyins.)
Spent 2 weeks on vacation plus the last week moving into my new apartment. Finally all settled and it feels good, ready to grind my ass off in September, shooting for 40k hands. Didnt play much poker, but i posted my small graph, decent winnings. Ran hot at pLO but lost at NLH. Also got 4th in the 3.3 rebuy while in Florida for 2.3k and a few hundred in cash games while down there too. Total month winnings are roughly 2.9k. Biggest month ever w00t.
On a side note I seem to start every month with several losing sessions, cant wait till that stops.
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