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RiKD    United States. Jan 11 2021 16:45. Posts 6592
I think about Collapse a lot. The new Republican prototype has a Law Degree from Harvard or Yale yet are capable of being any level of disingenuous if it will pump up their grift. USA Democracy is already dead. It died years ago if it was ever alive to begin with. Corrupt Corporate Oligarchy is all that remains.

I would like to buy a shit ton of acres in Upstate Canada with access to water but Wall Street and billionaires have already accomplished this. I would like to design and build a house I can live in. Yeah, it's a melting ice cube in the form of taxes and maintenance costs but it seems to be a decent enough (yet constantly decaying) store of value and protection against inflation and provides shelter.

I think a lot about investing in guns and ammo. I would love to have access to a 3d printer that could provide Shanzhai AK-47s, iPhones, and Model S electric vehicles. On the other hand acquiring even just one AR-14, whether that's through legal or illegal means, is a big responsibility. "Live by the gun, die by the gun" as they say.

I spent the holidays with my sister and brother-in-law in Radford, Massachusetts. It was peaceful and pleasant. I would take daily walks through a cemetery established in 1714. It was nice to walk through the farms and to behold the mountains and the sky. Many of the tombstones were crying out to be relevant. Many of the tombstones had weathered beyond recognition. Sadly or rationally the people who had died and were buried there are all worm food just the same. I looked at the trees, the mountains, and the Sun. Truly amazing. We are nothing but daisies doing our best to flourish before we wither away.

I hearkened back to one of the most terrifying nightmares of my life. I was in a Psych Ward psychotic to the gills. I could not tell dream from reality. I was in a space pod not too different from something like a SpaceX Dragon yet smaller. I guess something more like what Darth Vader ejected from his Tie Fighter yet I was many, many galaxies away. There was not much to this area in space. It was more or less nothing. Pitch black besides the lighting in the pod. I wondered how or if I could get back to civilization. Then my life flashed before my eyes as if I was approaching infinity. Like the movie Gravity except infinity away versus being within the same solar system. There was no hope. Still to this day I have no idea how long I was in that Psych Ward. To my mind it was eternity. I travelled down the 9 layers of Hell and back 999 times if not more. This is probably the fundamental reason I talk to a Psychiatrist and take my medications religiously.

Related to this was a time I dove deep into a float tank and felt like how I felt in the pod in infinite galaxies or universes away. I started hallucinating this image of what felt like a mixture of the grim reaper and some sort of knight or specter that I could summon in Magic the Gathering for maybe 2 colorless mana and 2 black mana. More serious than a Black Knight or Hypnotic Specter but not quite as terrifying as a Juzam Djinn or Satan himself. At first, I was freaking out a little bit like what the fuck is this? Then I continued to meditate and it just became an image and there was no longer any fear. It felt as if there was a heightened feeling of impermanence and as if I had had some sort of mini-Samsara experience. That is kind of a weird Buddhist way to explain it. Another way to explain it might be, "Whoa, I don't have to fear it. It is just there. That's kind of trippy." Then eventually it vanished and eventually the birds starting chirping to alert me that my float tank trip was coming to an end. I do not have to fear death but this consciousness will also likely come to an end. The limited in-scent is running out. The sand does not stop falling in the hourglass. Slowly, my bones get weaker, my teeth get more tea stained, as my face gets more wrinkled. We likely only get one life. Live it wisely.

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 Last edit: 11/01/2021 22:06

RiKD    United States. Jan 11 2021 16:54. Posts 6592

Oh, also, shout out to Victor. The vision was certainly Nazgul'ish. That's probably the best way to explain it actually.

dnagardi   Hungary. Jan 11 2021 21:17. Posts 1737

welcome back.

PoorUser    United States. Jan 11 2021 23:17. Posts 7448

  On January 11 2021 20:17 dnagardi wrote:
welcome back.

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