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RiKD    United States. May 31 2017 01:56. Posts 4002
It is all so simple:

Go on some dates. If you like each other then fuck. Go on some more dates. If you still like each other get into a relationship.


This simplicity alluded me for many years. I don't know what I was thinking in high school. It is like that is where I should have learned this. In college I was probably a weird misogynist. I mean. Not really but I just thought women should have big asses and I don't even know. I did not date in college. I would rather play Diablo II or Warcraft III. I remember there was this girl from high school who told me she liked me in high school and basically made it possible to go hook up. I messed that up. That was my dating in college. I would run into girls I knew and have positive interactions but then just never follow up or go on dates. Then poker hit. I got all into the pick up artist bullshit at the time. I was all about "one night lays with dimes." I guess that was an adventure. I finally fucked a beautiful woman from a club. I remember feeling empty, anxiety that she is still in my bed. The scent of her hair on the pillow and watching her put on her black panties still stick with me to this day as blissful but it was kind of like existential crisis that anonymous same night lays aren't the holy grail of life. Why did I not want to date? Why always anonymous? To this day I get weary if the girl is too close. Never shit where you eat. I EAT EVERYWHERE!

I remember I finally asked this one girl out on a date I was real into. Man, she was sexy. Her reply, "No, I have to work tomorrow." Which it was in the morning on a business day. I just kind of nodded my head and walked out. No further questioning just nodded my head and walked out. I am weird.

I could write more but nah.

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RiKD    United States. May 31 2017 22:12. Posts 4002

I think it is easier with drinking. With drinking one can be out and about and run into an attractive woman who finds you attractive. It can be a pop up make shift date. Or, a group of friends can be out and you can be into one of the friends and kind of get to know them and hang out with them just on an ongoing group basis. Sex can happen from that and then whatever can blossom from that. You are in a wedding. She is in a wedding. You get to know each other over dinners and social time. Sex maybe not sex but boom it can branch off from there.

It helps to be leading an exciting life. It helps to have fun things to do. You buy tickets to the show you gotta find someone that wants to go to the show.

I don't know I am just formulating my thoughts on some things and I was writing parts for self authoring and was like wow, why did I not understand to just go on some dates? Whatever form that may be. The pick up stuff is perhaps all bad. It is really about improving as a person. The times I got success in clubs I was paying a lot for bottle service and did not give a fuck. The women can smell it. Eh, it's kind of fun. It's kind of a dead end. It is much better to date a chick because of something about her interests you and then to flush that out. Wow, she really is quite amazing. Then, there is some seduction involved but it isn't a manipulation thing. I am sexually attracted to her and she is sexually attracted to me and let's see how this all works out. Let's get lost in one another and experience some transcendence la petit mort. That whole ordeal works out for a while it's like hey let's just lock it down for a while. After all that and you still like one another you just kind of find yourself in a romantic relationship. There doesn't have to be a blueprint. The thing is I still think the PUA have it in some ways right. It is always going to be a progression of:

- Attraction
- Qualification - Why would I want to like you? How are you fun or adventurous or whatever I want you to be?
- Comfort - Getting to know each other. Story. Hopes. Wishes. Dreams.
- Seduction

It is just kind of weird how they are manipulating each step. It really can't be canned material. The goods have to be there but above is not a bad outline. It becomes bad with pre-written stuff especially if that stuff is not actually inline with the person you are. I will say from memory some of the jokes to build attraction were pretty funny and effective. I still have to be able to have a conversation. It should be a bummer if she is not in line with some of the things you want but not a deal breaker. It's all an interview. What do you want? Fuck buddy? Fun date? Close, intimate romantic relationship? Well, you can't just start at close, intimate romantic relationship even if you are interviewing for one. It has to be earned. You need a collection of hours and experiences. Fuck buddy, you just want someone who is good at sex and discrete. Fun date is just someone to spend some time with and have fun with sex optional.

I don't know I just keep writing. These self authoring pieces have me thinking and writing, formulating thoughts and writing. I just wanted to start a topic on dating. I think it can be said that most of us want to have sex with women. It's like well how do we do that? Well, we are going to have to go on some form of date. Sex will happen and then we decide what do we want from here. Likely, more sex so more dates even if that date is Netflix and chill. There is no better text than a Netflix and chill text. I lived in the wrong place. Getting Netflix and chill texts from the nights out in Chicago and I am stuck in fucking Merrillville, IN. I am currently 25 mintues from downtown. I would likely be going to the more gentrified areas maybe a bit further away but I digress... I do not even drink or party or ever really expect Netflix and chill texts until I am actually going on let me ask you out to this particular thing I think will be fun type of dates. It is motivation though. Let's take upon some responsibility and more responsibility and more until women want to sleep with me, date me and would enter a relationship with me. I wouldn't date me currently if I were them. Well, I have female friends that we get into some great conversation but right now dating me would be difficult. I have friends that don't have their own place, or car, or much money and actually do quite well. I think my expectations have to be more inline with that. Although that guy is particularly good looking and good character and good personality. I doubt any doctors will go for me in the current state. That used to be like all of them that were falling my way. This fucking alpha account manager guy that I was but not really. Get some whiskey in me and all the right (or wrong) type of girls flocked. Strapping young lad. At that point my pick up line was "Nice boots" or "Nice shoes." Hell, it still is.

"Nice boots"
"Did you say nice boobs?"
"No, I didn't. I said nice boots (pointing to boots) but you do have great boobs"...

Oh, the days. That led to a very fun interaction. I suppose writing this I do quite miss drinking and going out. I don't know. It all feels like we've been through this before. These are my thoughts. I found out that I am still a bit insecure with dating especially with out drinking. It all falls back on the fact that I have to be handling responsibilities to the point of receiving enough income.

I went to lunch today with my mom at one of the best restaurants in the USA (HUSK). It was about $100 for the both of us. I don't know how much rent will cost in the area that is hip but not yet gentrified. That is the spot to be in. Car insurance, health insurance, car costs. I would want to take a date to HUSK. How do I get someone to pay me $40,000 a year? $60,000? I likely need more education. Now, is not the time to think about how much I used to make playing poker... Oh, well, we have all been through this before too. I have to figure out who i am TRUTHFULLY before I can figure out where I want to go.


Dinewbie   United States. May 31 2017 22:23. Posts 34

Day game is far superior to night game fwiw. It's also a lot more difficult because any mistakes you make are amplified since you're out and about during the day, no darkness to cover stuff up or make people look more attractive, etc. That said, fortune favors the bold, you'll pull hotter girls and build better connections on average with daygaming. Just my two cents.

Btw I am Fujikura 

Floofy   Canada. Jun 01 2017 04:11. Posts 8563

tbh i think you don't need to become an expert pick up artist to get a decent girlfriend. Personally my "strategy" comes down to this:

#1 Workout and groom yourself.
#2 Date as many girl on the internet as possible (getting internet dates is very ez)
#3 Try to fuck them as soon as possible. If it seems to take too long (more than 2-3 dates), next.

Has been working for me.

One last thing... i believe you don't need to learn the game in super deep ways or anything, but just have an OK understand of it. I mean 100 years ago guys didn't need to fucking read books to seduce womens, they just acted like dominant mens and got women.

Of course, if your objective is to a lay a different 10 every night, then its a different story. then you do need really good game (which i absolutly don't have). But if you simply want a decent girlfriend, i think dating like 3-4 girls a week is easy to do, and you will easily find a decent one.

james9994: make note dont play against floofy, ;(Last edit: 01/06/2017 04:17

RiKD    United States. Jun 01 2017 17:23. Posts 4002


  On May 31 2017 21:23 Dinewbie wrote:
Day game is far superior to night game fwiw. It's also a lot more difficult because any mistakes you make are amplified since you're out and about during the day, no darkness to cover stuff up or make people look more attractive, etc. That said, fortune favors the bold, you'll pull hotter girls and build better connections on average with daygaming. Just my two cents.



One difference though is that at night the women are out to be social. During the day you may just be bothering some woman trying to do errands. I have asked women out before during the day but I had talked to them before. It was more or less just a spontaneous thing. Going out daygaming maybe kind of fun in some adventurous kind of ways but it is kind of silly. I can see going to the library a lot and liking one of the librarians there so you chat sometimes and eventually ask her out. I eventually asked a girl out who owned a running store I frequented. Running about with canned routines to churn numbers is just stupid. I didn't have any real success with women until I dropped the shtick and became a better man.


RiKD    United States. Jun 01 2017 17:38. Posts 4002


  On June 01 2017 03:11 Floofy wrote:
tbh i think you don't need to become an expert pick up artist to get a decent girlfriend. Personally my "strategy" comes down to this:

#1 Workout and groom yourself.
#2 Date as many girl on the internet as possible (getting internet dates is very ez)
#3 Try to fuck them as soon as possible. If it seems to take too long (more than 2-3 dates), next.

Has been working for me.

One last thing... i believe you don't need to learn the game in super deep ways or anything, but just have an OK understand of it. I mean 100 years ago guys didn't need to fucking read books to seduce womens, they just acted like dominant mens and got women.

Of course, if your objective is to a lay a different 10 every night, then its a different story. then you do need really good game (which i absolutly don't have). But if you simply want a decent girlfriend, i think dating like 3-4 girls a week is easy to do, and you will easily find a decent one.



Right on Floofy. I may try your strategy when I get my own place and a little more resources under my belt. I have never dated online but at some point (I am 33 and don't drink) it seems to make more sense. I don't understand why you instantly discard them if they don't fuck after 2-3 dates. Unless you are just looking for women to fuck and that's it. I would think you could potentially discard some good ones being rigid with this rule.

Of course you don't have to learn the game super deep. Reading books never got me laid. If the objective is to lay a different 10 every night then the solution is to be Leonardo DiCaprio.

3-4 girls a week seems like a lot but maybe not. It will lead to finding a decent one sooner I am sure. I am just curious. What are dates with these women looking like?


Floofy   Canada. Jun 01 2017 21:59. Posts 8563


  On June 01 2017 16:38 RiKD wrote:
Show nested quote +



Right on Floofy. I may try your strategy when I get my own place and a little more resources under my belt. I have never dated online but at some point (I am 33 and don't drink) it seems to make more sense. I don't understand why you instantly discard them if they don't fuck after 2-3 dates. Unless you are just looking for women to fuck and that's it. I would think you could potentially discard some good ones being rigid with this rule.

Of course you don't have to learn the game super deep. Reading books never got me laid. If the objective is to lay a different 10 every night then the solution is to be Leonardo DiCaprio.

3-4 girls a week seems like a lot but maybe not. It will lead to finding a decent one sooner I am sure. I am just curious. What are dates with these women looking like?



  I don't understand why you instantly discard them if they don't fuck after 2-3 dates


I'm not the god of dating and i can be wrong, but if they still won't have sex after 2-3 dates, i think its often going to be one of the 2: Either she's not that much into you, or she's not that much into sex. In those case i prefer to not waste time on them and move on.
I wouldn't say its an hard rule you should never break, but the point is never waste your time on a single girl for too long.


  I have never dated online but at some point


Online has its own advantage and disavantages.
I'd say the main positive point is, generally when a girl is willing to meet you, its generally gonna be much easier than hitting a random girl on the street. You KNOW she thinks your attractive, single, and straight, so its a pretty good start. My current girlfriend was almost impossible to fail the date.
In my case it worked maybe 25% of the time or so.....

Btw, don't get discouraged ever if u get turned down. For me, it worked with some pretty hot girls but i also got turned down by ugly ones, its totally random.


  Of course you don't have to learn the game super deep. Reading books never got me laid. If the objective is to lay a different 10 every night then the solution is to be Leonardo DiCaprio.



I'm not trying to say that learning game is useless. I do believe having good game is an amazing tool. But my point is that, if your sole objective is to get a decent looking GF, there much easier paths to victory than becoming an expert pickup artist.
I also feel trying to learn game can sometimes actually hurt you when you're a beginner. You get too focus on reading stuff and theory, when its really just about actually going out there and interacting with women.


  3-4 girls a week seems like a lot but maybe not.


It IS a lot. i was spending a lot of time flirting girls online in order to achieve that. Maybe 1 date a week is more realistic. But then the time frame to get a good GF is longer. As i said, maybe 25% of them will be into you, and then maybe just 25% of them are real GF material.


  I am just curious. What are dates with these women looking like?



Really depends on the girl. My date with my current GF, she simply went directly to my house to watch a movie and then sleep at home LOL. We kissed right when i meet her at the metro and we had sex same night.
This is the ideal date, but of course girls are often more complicated than that. So it really does depend on the girl.
You can make it simple and meet at a coffee.
But i do advise trying to find a date where you're gonna be comfortable doing kino.

Its really important to at least get a kiss on first date imo.

james9994: make note dont play against floofy, ;( 

iop   Sweden. Jun 02 2017 13:10. Posts 4923


  On June 01 2017 20:59 Floofy wrote:
Show nested quote +




  I don't understand why you instantly discard them if they don't fuck after 2-3 dates


I'm not the god of dating and i can be wrong, but if they still won't have sex after 2-3 dates, i think its often going to be one of the 2: Either she's not that much into you, or she's not that much into sex. In those case i prefer to not waste time on them and move on.
I wouldn't say its an hard rule you should never break, but the point is never waste your time on a single girl for too long.


  I have never dated online but at some point


Online has its own advantage and disavantages.
I'd say the main positive point is, generally when a girl is willing to meet you, its generally gonna be much easier than hitting a random girl on the street. You KNOW she thinks your attractive, single, and straight, so its a pretty good start. My current girlfriend was almost impossible to fail the date.
In my case it worked maybe 25% of the time or so.....

Btw, don't get discouraged ever if u get turned down. For me, it worked with some pretty hot girls but i also got turned down by ugly ones, its totally random.


  Of course you don't have to learn the game super deep. Reading books never got me laid. If the objective is to lay a different 10 every night then the solution is to be Leonardo DiCaprio.



I'm not trying to say that learning game is useless. I do believe having good game is an amazing tool. But my point is that, if your sole objective is to get a decent looking GF, there much easier paths to victory than becoming an expert pickup artist.
I also feel trying to learn game can sometimes actually hurt you when you're a beginner. You get too focus on reading stuff and theory, when its really just about actually going out there and interacting with women.


  3-4 girls a week seems like a lot but maybe not.


It IS a lot. i was spending a lot of time flirting girls online in order to achieve that. Maybe 1 date a week is more realistic. But then the time frame to get a good GF is longer. As i said, maybe 25% of them will be into you, and then maybe just 25% of them are real GF material.


  I am just curious. What are dates with these women looking like?



Really depends on the girl. My date with my current GF, she simply went directly to my house to watch a movie and then sleep at home LOL. We kissed right when i meet her at the metro and we had sex same night.
This is the ideal date, but of course girls are often more complicated than that. So it really does depend on the girl.
You can make it simple and meet at a coffee.
But i do advise trying to find a date where you're gonna be comfortable doing kino.

Its really important to at least get a kiss on first date imo.



My two cents are to go on as many dates as possible, but all in good time. It'll help with everything from job interviews to getting laid (if that's what you want). I've been on my fair share of tinder/happn dates. Maybe 70-80 and it takes time before getting comfortable. Do you see not drinking as a problem? A good friend of mine doesn't drink (anymore) and he thought it was a bit weird in the beginning meeting someone without having a drink, but that feeling disappeared immediately.

Floofy - not kissing on the first date is not important at all. Going on 3-4 dates a week is a bit extensive, especially if you're just starting to go on dates.

Milkman lol i didnt spend half a thousand on a phone so i could play it cool and be all stealth 

RiKD    United States. Jun 02 2017 19:36. Posts 4002


  Do you see not drinking as a problem?



I used to date women who drank a lot because I drank a lot. Meeting someone in a club. Meeting someone at a lounge. Going out to coffee seems weird to me but it may be the right thing to do with an online date. My old ideal of a great date was some fun girl who would drink too many white wines and then maybe we would go back to my place and drink some champagne or tequila and bone. It is like a refiguring of the brain. I don't have a problem with not drinking but it is like I have this fear that they will have a problem with me not drinking. If I am just hanging out with other women who don't drink it is not even an issue but I am not real big on dating other alcoholics. The only alcoholic I ever got involved with it did not go so well. She was a certain type of crazy, I am a certain type of crazy. She was a really cool chick it just did not work out. But, We are mostly talking about online here.

Why would taking a girl out to coffee be better than some good food place I like? I guess I am currently pretty broke. Saving the nice places for when I have a good inkling that I like her seems reasonable.

Are women really going out to coffee and being cool with that?

Most of my dating I was always coming from the point of like alpha guy. Let's go to a lounge and I'll drink cognac type of guy. It had to be a cool lounge or restaurant. Always covering the bill. Really do my best to be a cut above but if the women will go for it I am not against it. I love coffee and the vibe in a lot of coffee shops.


longple    Sweden. Jun 02 2017 21:40. Posts 4404

In my experience the cheaper the date the cooler women are with it. Doing anything fancy with someone you dont know is just sort of wierd.

Go for a walk and grab a coffee on the go or something in that nature, just hang out to see if your into eachother.

 Last edit: 02/06/2017 21:41

longple    Sweden. Jun 02 2017 21:52. Posts 4404

Or rather aslong as you dont believe that what youre doing is superwierd she probably wont either, with confidence you can do pretty much whatever and again in my experience they will just enjoy and go with it aslong as they are into you and you are comfortable.

Women seem less insane then us when it comes to these sort of things, they are more onboard with the flow of things if you are.


Floofy   Canada. Jun 02 2017 21:53. Posts 8563


  On June 02 2017 12:10 iop wrote:
Floofy - not kissing on the first date is not important at all. Going on 3-4 dates a week is a bit extensive, especially if you're just starting to go on dates.



i do agree 3-4 is a lot, but i also do think its better.
As i said, i think a beginner should expect maybe 25% success rate. So if he does 1 a week, thats 1 success a month. If your decently selective, you might only truly make 25% of those girls GF material, so on average 4 months to get your decent GF.

That being said, i 100% agree with you he should try to enjoy those dates. If he treats it like a chore, it kinda sucks.
I also agree with you he should aim for cheaper dates.

I also think you should pay for her, but dont mention it. Act like its nothing.
If its expansive, she won't be comfortable with you paying, but it looks bad if you let her pay. And if you're gonna do 3-4 a week and theyre all expansive... lot of money wasted.
Aim for home movie, walk, coffee.

james9994: make note dont play against floofy, ;(Last edit: 02/06/2017 21:54

longple    Sweden. Jun 02 2017 22:00. Posts 4404

I usually invite them to a rock paper scissor when it comes to like a first date coffee.


RiKD    United States. Jun 02 2017 22:23. Posts 4002


  On June 02 2017 20:40 longple wrote:
In my experience the cheaper the date the cooler women are with it. Doing anything fancy with someone you dont know is just sort of wierd.



It would be for me now. I can't keep up with the burn rate of "fancy." When I had a lot more money a $10 date or a $100 date what is the difference? If I go out all the time or I am at fancy lounges a fair amount and so is she it is nice that we can dress up a little bit and go some place nice. It is sexier. Sexy is almost always a good thing. I am not that guy now though. I don't know if I was ever that guy. It is liberating to just talk about online dating and going to coffee shops because I was always under the impressing that that was just not going to go very well.


  Go for a walk and grab a coffee on the go or something in that nature, just hang out to see if your into eachother.



This would be cool. I love walks and hikes. It is cliche but I enjoy long walks on the beach. I am about to go for one in about 15 min. Many times I have the thought that that would be a great date. Just some coffee and a long walk on the beach and conversation. About an hour or so in length with the option to walk more if it is going well.


RiKD    United States. Jun 02 2017 22:29. Posts 4002


  On June 02 2017 20:52 longple wrote:
Or rather aslong as you dont believe that what youre doing is superwierd she probably wont either, with confidence you can do pretty much whatever and again in my experience they will just enjoy and go with it aslong as they are into you and you are comfortable.

Women seem less insane then us when it comes to these sort of things, they are more onboard with the flow of things if you are.



Yeah, which it makes sense to not put too much pressure on any individual date and get the volume in. It's really a freeroll. Actually not that good but we are risking a little to win a lot which is a great gambling situation.


RiKD    United States. Jun 03 2017 00:54. Posts 4002


  On June 02 2017 21:00 longple wrote:
I usually invite them to a rock paper scissor when it comes to like a first date coffee.





RiKD    United States. Jun 03 2017 03:05. Posts 4002


  On June 02 2017 20:53 Floofy wrote:
Show nested quote +



i do agree 3-4 is a lot, but i also do think its better.
As i said, i think a beginner should expect maybe 25% success rate. So if he does 1 a week, thats 1 success a month. If your decently selective, you might only truly make 25% of those girls GF material, so on average 4 months to get your decent GF.

That being said, i 100% agree with you he should try to enjoy those dates. If he treats it like a chore, it kinda sucks.
I also agree with you he should aim for cheaper dates.

I also think you should pay for her, but dont mention it. Act like its nothing.
If its expansive, she won't be comfortable with you paying, but it looks bad if you let her pay. And if you're gonna do 3-4 a week and theyre all expansive... lot of money wasted.
Aim for home movie, walk, coffee.


The thing is I am not really concerned about getting a "decent GF" in x amount of time. The dates should be enjoyable in itself. Personally, 3-4 dates a week is too many for me. Twice a week and maybe more if I am feeling in a certain mood. I like to keep the vibe at "hey, this chick is pretty cool and fun to date" rather than "oh, man this chick could be decent GF material." I basically just keep dating her until she becomes decent GF material and then she is because she's my girlfriend. I know what you mean though. You don't want to waste time or resources on chicks that aren't decent GF material. I am more of like "hey, as long as we are having fun and it is cool I am not going to think about it" but of course I am going to think about it so I am just writing a lot for no reason.


Dinewbie   United States. Jun 03 2017 10:24. Posts 34


  On June 01 2017 16:23 RiKD wrote:
Show nested quote +



One difference though is that at night the women are out to be social. During the day you may just be bothering some woman trying to do errands. I have asked women out before during the day but I had talked to them before. It was more or less just a spontaneous thing. Going out daygaming maybe kind of fun in some adventurous kind of ways but it is kind of silly. I can see going to the library a lot and liking one of the librarians there so you chat sometimes and eventually ask her out. I eventually asked a girl out who owned a running store I frequented. Running about with canned routines to churn numbers is just stupid. I didn't have any real success with women until I dropped the shtick and became a better man.


Firstly, canned routines are for fish, definitely never recommended that. Just cold approach and meet a female in public. If you are well socially lubricated, she'll be interested regardless if she is busy or not lol. Also, I noticed by your lingo that you have read either The Game or Magic Bullets, they're both pretty decent reads but honestly, you'll learn more from being introspective and trying to fix your leaks (think poker) than reading a book. Anyway, if a girl says that she is 'busy' with 'errands' it is actually more likely a soft no (think 'I have a boyfriend' when you know a girl is single)... The trick is to not take their 'no' as a definitive answer, some girls don't even have a 'plan B' if you don't leave after that lol. I've gone on a lot of instant dates with women who gave similar "soft no's", the key is to not give in to a soft no because that is ultimately what they are hoping for. A lot about pick-up is making a girl mold to your frame of mind (ideally the seductive one, but it's ok to do a fun or adventurous one too). Persistence is key and being stronger willed, and you aren't going to learn that trait from reading a book.
Re the last part: That's just self confidence and the vibrations that you are putting out into the universe. If you don't believe what you are saying or are acting rehearsed, of course it's not going to work. You have to be real.
When I first started out, a big part of my improvement was looking back on rejections and trying to figure out where I went wrong. If you look over a pick-up interaction like a poker hand history, and you're being critical, you can probably even estimate your EV$ at any given point... doing this you can usually figure out what things you did were good or bad. Gl

Btw I am Fujikura 

dnagardi   Hungary. Jun 03 2017 18:23. Posts 1459

nice thread lol

I kinda miss these from my life, sound like a lot of fun. Then again I am with my current GF for many years now


devon06atX   Canada. Jun 03 2017 22:08. Posts 5357

I'll never go to dinner on a first date.

I prefer simple walks, or drinks at a pub. Something easy.

And there is no set # of dates that if you don't get them to spend the night, it's over. That's ridiculous. If you're really into the girl, you guys still dating means you still have a shot and are probably getting closer to what you want - sex/relationship

That being said, I'm an asshole and I like to get drunk and bang. It would have to be a pretty special girl (Tina Turner) for me to go on a progressive dating marathon.


 
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