Out of line?

I think it's a bit of a slap in the face to the person who got you the knives as a gift.... I know I'd feel like I wasted my time and money if I bought someone something which they replaced like a week later :O

I can understand your point of view also, but I personally would've prob waited a couple of months if I cared about the person who gave me the gift.

Def take what I say with a pinch of salt though cause I'm one of those people who are simply way too nice and put way too much thought into how my actions may effect other people... I think most people will say what you've done is completely normal and acceptable

Just get the knives and hide them/use the ones they gifted you whenever your mother in law is around, win/win

^ this

fuck knives get money

There should be enough autism to go around. I mean that I am the same way, but about giving gifts, because I want desperately not to spam someone with boxes of shit they think is useless. So some of it rests on the person who got the gift, knowing gift giving doesn't always work out perfectly. In this specific case maybe you could use your mother-in-law's set to practice your skills at throwing knives.

Well you have to put the importance of knives in relation with the importance of having a sex life for the next month.

you are just too nice. I don't know in which world I'd spend 500 bucks on knifes though, I'd rather tear meat up with my teeth for that money

Edit: As it seems things are getting serious with your gf, you should establish an atmosphere were whatever you want and think its the most important and the last word. She can participate but all final decisions should always be yours.

What does that set of knives look like? Curious. BTW about the uncomfortable situation, if you are buying expensive knives then you should tell your mother-in-law that you wanted to buy that set of knives for a long time and were about to do it when she bought that set for you. Make it clear that you really appreciate she did it and it was just unfortunate that she had the idea before you actually purchased. Telling the truth is the best option imo, considering you actually want a good set. Else you'll "have to" either stick to the set she gave you or keep lying and changing knives whenever she shows up. That's what I would do if I were in your shoes anyway. -Edit-: actually what I would do is keep her knives and not buy new ones, but if I wanted to buy a good one, then...

You could just be honest and say you really appreciate the gift, they are nice knives, but you were thinking about buying a special, very high quality set.

If I bought someone headphones and they wanted to return them to upgrade to a higher quality pair, that's fine with me personally. The point of a gift is to make someone happy.

It seems to me to be a little absurd to spend $500 on knives though. What's the difference between $40 knives and $500 knives anyways? Are the handles, blades and block really that much better?

First world problems, lol.

Use a white lie. Say you had already ordered some knifes which is hard to return.

Not a big deal this, if you have a good relationship with your stepmom then she should understand. Just say it was a nice gift and that it was what you wanted, but you were looking for a different brand...

I think if someone is offended by this (as a giver), then they have their own issues. You can't really expect that every gift you give away is appreciated?

well played

meh I might have waited a bit longer than that... you seem to have survived quite a long time without good knives, few extra months wouldn't have mattered and no issues would have been raised

Not a good idea. But if you dont think it'll put your relationship with your inlaws, as well as your gf's relationship with her family, in any weird situations (or you simply dont give a fuck) then by all means go for it. Otherwise give it some time

goose, its usually the blade and the steel quality, and how the handles are. The $40 knives are usually attainable for like $5 in asia which means they're manufactured for like $1. And lol at being honest btw.

definitely not out of line her getting on you about getting new knives you wanted however is

That's all I've used my entire life, maybe not the best for raw meat but I get by. Not worth having argument with gf.

Interesting topic, i'll drop my 2 cents.

This is NOT about time. Giving it a month won't make the issue disappear.
I'll take the girlfriends side on this one. It isn't about the knives, it is about being in a relationship and compromises. The seemingly irrational thoughts and feelings she has are completely justified in my eyes. I repeat, this isn't about the knives and she would agree. If the shitty knives didn't bother you for a long time then probably they aren't that important to begin with. Good knife skills are more important and get you further than picking a really expensive knife you wouldn't be able to appreciate blindfolded.

For me this would be an easy slam dunk yes for your firlgriend but for two reasons this isn't reality.
1. The cat is out of the bag and regardless of what you both (hopefully) decide neither solution won't be perfect.
2. You have crossed the ever so thin line of mother-in-law gray area.

I propose two outcomes.
1. You choose to buy expensive knives and enjoy cooking meals for one under a disapproving, glaring gaze of your girlfriend who is wearing locket jewelry with a little picture of her mother inside it.
2. You do the reasonable thing. (Whatever it is that brings peace back on earth, highly dependant on your table image and dynamics.)

Take it from someone who has been down this path of tablewear arguments with real life experience and do the reasonable thing. You only need like 3 knives to cover 99% of what needs done. I'd recommend getting a comfortable chefs knife so your first meals don't taste too sour and keeping the set given to you.

Sidenote: the set wasn't only given to you but with your girlfriend in mind aswell so she might feel it is a gift to her in some way. Maybe it was her idea in the first place if she noticed you bitching about shitty knives. Meditate on this shit, it is layered like an onion.

Lastly i'll leave you with this important piece of video. There is no cadillac in this debacle but you can avoid being fired.

On December 30 2013 16:07 cariadon wrote: Interesting topic, i'll drop my 2 cents. This is NOT about time. Giving it a month won't make the issue disappear. I'll take the girlfriends side on this one. It isn't about the knives, it is about being in a relationship and compromises. The seemingly irrational thoughts and feelings she has are completely justified in my eyes. I repeat, this isn't about the knives and she would agree. If the shitty knives didn't bother you for a long time then probably they aren't that important to begin with. Good knife skills are more important and get you further than picking a really expensive knife you wouldn't be able to appreciate blindfolded. For me this would be an easy slam dunk yes for your firlgriend but for two reasons this isn't reality. 1. The cat is out of the bag and regardless of what you both (hopefully) decide neither solution won't be perfect. 2. You have crossed the ever so thin line of mother-in-law gray area. I propose two outcomes. 1. You choose to buy expensive knives and enjoy cooking meals for one under a disapproving, glaring gaze of your girlfriend who is wearing locket jewelry with a little picture of her mother inside it. 2. You do the reasonable thing. (Whatever it is that brings peace back on earth, highly dependant on your table image and dynamics.) Take it from someone who has been down this path of tablewear arguments with real life experience and do the reasonable thing. You only need like 3 knives to cover 99% of what needs done. I'd recommend getting a comfortable chefs knife so your first meals don't taste too sour and keeping the set given to you. Sidenote: the set wasn't only given to you but with your girlfriend in mind aswell so she might feel it is a gift to her in some way. Maybe it was her idea in the first place if she noticed you bitching about shitty knives. Meditate on this shit, it is layered like an onion. Lastly i'll leave you with this important piece of video. There is no cadillac in this debacle but you can avoid being fired.

You raise valid points, but to be fair if it was his gf's idea she should know that dusty the swedish butcher chakuteriaffär likes his knifes 500$ deluxe and not some 40$ set ones. Also she must also understand how terrible it is for our hero to keep using bad knifes and reach a compromise which is to get good ones but don't tell mommy.

I've always thought $500 for a knife set was absurd. Until I used a $500 knife.

if you have the cupboard space i would order the new knives, and then keep the crappy knives in a cupboard close by, and then when the in-laws come to visit, swap out the knives.

On December 31 2013 00:23 milkman wrote: if you have the cupboard space i would order the new knives, and then keep the crappy knives in a cupboard close by, and then when the in-laws come to visit, swap out the knives.

It may work with the mother-in-law but not the gf. Problem still persists.

I think dismissing their gift and buying new ones is selfish, unless for some reason those knives were really important for you and making your GF feel kinda bad and having to lie to your in laws is secondary.


Anyway dont tell the truth bluntly like a retard, you will hurt their feeling for some misplaced sense of clumsy honesty, anyway if you go and say "I really appreciate the gift but..." its a lie, because you didnt appreciate the gift so you might as well keep it to yourself and spare their feelings.

On December 31 2013 04:43 Baalim wrote: I think dismissing their gift and buying new ones is selfish, unless for some reason those knives were really important for you and making your GF feel kinda bad and having to lie to your in laws is secondary. Anyway dont tell the truth bluntly like a retard, you will hurt their feeling for some misplaced sense of clumsy honesty, anyway if you go and say "I really appreciate the gift but..." its a lie, because you didnt appreciate the gift so you might as well keep it to yourself and spare their feelings.

Appreciating a gesture isn't supposed to be a lie. If he gets the knives he is screwed anyway. lol at thinking that being honest is the bad option here.. I'd much rather tell the truth and get rid of it than having to hide the knives every time her parents visit them. She's coming, hurry hide the knives! for the next two years rofl. Personally, IMHO, buying a set of knives for $500 is stupid (especially considering that he just got new ones from her mother in law), but i'm working with what he wants to do which is getting good knives.

first world problems lol
500$ for a knife set? thefuck
i mean are u a butcher or cook a lot or why would u ever need that kind of equipment, master chefs dont have those

what seems to be the problem?
How hard is it to just use both sets /mix the knives up

damn this is a good morality question.

i understand both your perspectives pretty well. i can't really think of any girlfriend who wouldn't be pissed off. at the same time i too realllly appreciate a great knife set...

at first i was on team dusty, but i think capaneo sold me onto your girlfriends side. relationships are about compromises, and although it may seem a bit trivial to you and good knife sets are awesome - i think you should have taken one for the team to appease her and her mother's feelings.

it's a tough situation.

on a lasting thought, is having two knife sets really an issue? i know some cooking intense people that have multiple knife sets anyways..

On December 30 2013 11:27 locoo wrote: Just get the knives and hide them/use the ones they gifted you whenever your mother in law is around, win/win

Think if I really wanted the knives I'd go with this, or I'd tell the person that using the new knives felt so much better than the old one that you felt compelled to get even better ones.

Something like that.

I do have a problem with being obsessive compulsively honest tho so Im not sure I'd be able to pull it off >_<

On December 31 2013 20:05 nolan wrote: damn this is a good morality question. i understand both your perspectives pretty well. i can't really think of any girlfriend who wouldn't be pissed off. at the same time i too realllly appreciate a great knife set... at first i was on team dusty, but i think capaneo sold me onto your girlfriends side. relationships are about compromises, and although it may seem a bit trivial to you and good knife sets are awesome - i think you should have taken one for the team to appease her and her mother's feelings. it's a tough situation. on a lasting thought, is having two knife sets really an issue? i know some cooking intense people that have multiple knife sets anyways..

capaneo hasn't posted in this thread and i despise the misunderstanding

The conflict lie in how much Dusty really uses knives. He said he had had the old ones for a long time and just recently noticed they were shit. This is a tell of inexperience. If he had been using knives on a daily basis or enough to know the ones he had were shit then it is unfathomable the hero would voluntarily and knowingly use shitty knives for an extended period of time. Get yourself a good steel and learn proper technique.

My gf thought you should just get the knives you want and your gf can use the ones her mother got as a christmas present. Handy to have a bunch of knivs when cooking together. Hiding the good ones and pretending to really enjoy the 30-40 set was ridiculed to put it mildly.

You need a good sharpening stone to keep your knives in good shape. You prob find small investment in this will possibly bring your old knives back to sharpness. Whole world of knife sharpening out there, but a medium stone is prob the best for all round. I personally have an Arkansas sharpening stone and you use a special lubrication oil on the stone. Works very well

On December 31 2013 06:32 dnagardi wrote: first world problems lol 500$ for a knife set? thefuck i mean are u a butcher or cook a lot or why would u ever need that kind of equipment, master chefs dont have those

Good knives are a pleasure to prepare/cut food with and hold a good edge longer. Afaik chefs bring their own good knives when they cook.

Personally I'd have waited in some circumstances as I think it's pretty rude to your relatives but x1000 when its a close relative you probably see often or invite over like your mother-in-law. If i was going to go ahead and buy them anyway I'd try to return the knives first if possible and say I want to buy a better set as I've been meaning to buy good knives for a while. Can't really go wrong there. I'd also have spoken to my gf/wife before doing it to reduce any negative impact and talk it through.

Another option would have been to keep her knife set and purchase just 1-2 main solid chef knives and sharpen the hell out of other set so it's ready for other purposes. You will get much more enjoyment and quality from having 1-2 single main knives worth $500 than a whole set imo.

Most gifts like this (ones that you might use every day) come with gift receipts in case you don't like the gift. Kind of thoughtless by them not to give it with one. I think that explaining to your wife that you wanted the expensive knives and that their ~$40 donation to that cause will help get you there should be enough to quell any spousal tension.

Another option would be to keep the block that the knives came in and sub out for the expensive knives if they're all the standard sizes. Doubt they will ever notice.

Every relationship is different, and negotiations/compromises are common in my house. If it was important to me I would ask her to think of something she has that she would like to upgrade and both buy your upgrades together if they're similar in price/importance. Will be a good excuse for the in-laws as well as you each wanted to upgrade something you now own.

ps: you could go as far as telling them that their gift really piqued your interest in knives and cooking and led you down the road to purchasing a set that will last a lifetime, etc. They can't really be annoyed if they think their gift had a big impact but was replaced.

Let your gf do a whole kitchen work and get yourself a 1000$ gun instead