I will hurt you

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NewbSaibot United States. Jun 16 2010 17:50. Posts 4948

Mr. Huabing of China. You want to slowroll every single fucking hand on me HU? Whether you intend to fold, limp, call or raise, you're seriously going to run the fucking clock out every single time? And when I sit out for 3 hands just to make sure you're not playing starcraft, you immediately begin minraising my blinds, and go back to stalling as soon as I sit back in? Ok mother fucker, well this post serves as public notice that I intend to do physical bodily harm to you. Thats right, this is a legally enforceable threat of violence against you on the internet. I know I'll probably never meet you, let alone play you again, but maybe, just maybe, one day you and I will happen to find each other, perhaps at a coffee shop if I'm in Beijing, or maybe in Florida if you visit a beach in the USA. But the best place would be at a poker table, oh the sweet sweet justice of having us meet for the first time in our game of choice. We wont know each other at first, but maybe the table will become social, and we'll all recant about our poker histories, and someone will drop a comment about playing online. It'll go something like "yeah FTP is rigged, I always lose there" and then you'll chime in that you nod and agree, and I'll toss out a question about screenames, to which each will reply with theirs, ultimately landing upon you. You wont notice it, but once the words "huabing" are uttered from your mouth I will become a fiery red, incensed with anger and rage. I'll calmly scoot my chair back, stand up, and casually walk up behind you, you not even aware I have left. Then I'll donkey punch you in the back of the goddamn head knocking your fucking glasses off or whatever you are wearing on your head. The table will gasp, people will think im nuts, you'll even call me nuts after turning around with your hair disheveled, saying "what the FUCK man" or some such thing. My eyes will be bright white, beaming at you in full stare, fists already clenched, body rigid as a board. Possibly not the best fighters stance, but then again im not a professional kickboxer, just some guy with enough strength to fucking hurt you, and hurt you bad during my initial adrenaline rush. I'll do everything possible to entice you to stand up and face me, even though I expect you to be so scared you'll do nothing but sit in your chair. But God help you should you stand up towards me. I'll hit you. I'll hit you in your fucking face, over and over. I'll straddle on you and just keep hitting you and I wont stop until my hand hurts too much or I am satisfied with the damage. Perhaps if you begin crying like a bitch I'll feel bad for you and stop early, otherwise you will go home with stitches in your face and swollen lips. The one good thing you will take with you is the lesson you have learned. Never ever ever fuck with someone you dont know, you classless fuck.