ballin at the ball and other shit i done

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qwerty67890 New Zealand. Aug 25 2007 23:25. Posts 14026

This got massivly TLDR but whuteva.

So last night i went to the university annual ball thing. The theme was "oriental obsession" which i thought was fairly fuckin retarded since 95% of the uni is asian.

I was taking my flatmate (girlfriend #1) but i get a text from the american exchange student who wants to know if she can ride with me (stud life son) - so i get 2 dates kinda.

this makes them look like a beat - they arent that stunning though, but neither am i.

There was a pre-ball party at the student bar. I order a beer and specify "Speights" he gives me a "Tui" and although they are almost the same i cant help but think hes a fucktard.

It was confirmed when i returned to the bar and he looks at me and goes

"What do you want? Speights?"
"Yeh Speights"

He gave me another Tui - learn to fucking read.

I saw him later at the ball and he tried to strike up a conversation with me but i was like NAH SON - GOODNIGHT

On the bus there i spent the whole ride enjoying the paraletic chick 2 seats ahead of me. All that effort for a ball dress, getting ready and buying a ticket - then she doesnt even make it out the pre-ball party.

I arrive and got a fortune cookie (original) which enti<x>tles me to 1 free beer and 1 free cocktail. I also drink my dates beer.

The venue was very classy, right opposite a strip club. Had i known this in advance i wouldnt have gone with a date so i could fuck off to see some strippers.

There was a $100 prize for the best dressed man and woman. Naturally i had it sewn up. Unfortunatly it was all politics. They gave it to some fat old guy who came dressed as a samurai - i thought it was a formal ball, not a fancy dress party. Stupid douche. The woman who won was wearing some crappy looking chinese dress. I took a real chinese girl so i should have got brownie points for that.

Then there was some other shit and i ate some sushi and it got really boring really quick. The american girl bought me a drink and i had my photo with her and my asian date so i was pimpin huge.

They had a show, these guys were pretty cool.

I managed to get another free cocktail aswell, and was feeling pretty buzzed. Then i bought the american chick a drink in return but she copped off with some douche (possible beat? i dunno i dont really care about her but shes got massive jugs) So i drank my vodka cranberry then decided to drink hers.

We get a taxi home at about 11:30pm which is when the ball was picking up but since my date doesnt fuckin dance we might aswell just call it a night.

So i get home and i get a text from girlfriend #2 asking if i want to come to the city with her and friends. Obviously this is too good an opportunity to pass up, but first...

I have like 25 minutes so have time for a quick carpet lick and a happy ending. I also gave her the shocker lol.

Then my phone goes while im busy doing my thang. Its girlfriend #2 asking where i am. I tell her ill be down in 10 minutes. Finish up - send girlfriend #1 to her room - get changed and head out.

I get some complimentry beer when i arrive and theres people from my friends home town up to visit. One guy is a total cock but hes with his missus so i dont really give a fuck.

We go out to the city and its pretty good. My bladder almost exploded waiting in line.

We danced some and drank some sambuca shots. I totalled about 6 shots but only paid for 1.

My friend orders 4 sambuca shots and the bar tender lines them up. He gives my friend the little handset to enter his cards pin and the wire from it knocks over one of the shots.

He tells us it was our fault and we have to pay for it. Heres a dilema - pay like $8 for a shot that got spilt, or dont pay for any shots and go to another bar.

Nice one son. We argue with him and he pours us a new shot realising that he is infact a retard.

We take a taxi home at about 3am or so. On the way home i give a beautiful rendition of "Beautiful Girls" by Sean Kingston when it came on the radio as i cuddle girlfriend #2

We get home and people all drop out fast because unlike me they cant drink. sicklifeson

One guy still wants to drink a bit and have a ciggy and he kind of interupts me makin moves with girlfriend #2 but she says shes going to get ready for bed and she will leave the door unlocked so i can come back in 10 minutes.

She locks the doors (stupid twat) so i phone her and get her to come let me in then we head up to her room.

Beat: nothing happened. I was way too drunk but i gave her a cuddle as she was falling asleep, her parents were in town and she had to get up at 9am to go to breakfast with them - then i put my jeans back on and head back to my own place.

The sun is rising and theres daylight - it must be about 5am.

I left my keys/wallet/phone on the desk of girlfriend #2 so i go sleep in the bed of girlfriend #1 - and do the usual stuff to her.

I pass out for a bit, then girlfriend #2 bought me a subway.

gosicklife

Cliff notes:

Went to ball
Pla<x>yersville
Subway

1 votes

Svenman87 United States. Aug 25 2007 23:51. Posts 4636

too long to read this drunk. nice pic tho

i'll read later

<3

TimDawg

United States. Aug 26 2007 01:00. Posts 10197

asain girl is ugly

second girl is decent though

online bob is actually a pretty smart person, not at all like the creepy fucker that sits in the sofa telling me he does nasty shit to me when im asleep - pinball

Muhweli Finland. Aug 26 2007 10:14. Posts 10663

second one looks psycho, asian is decent.

Floofy says: my dick is easily bigger than 90% of guys i checked it on the net | Floofy says: i im also doing movements

chris United States. Aug 26 2007 12:26. Posts 5507

wtf is taking you so long for gf #3 omg!

5 minute showers are my 8 minute abs. - Neilly

sTrAtO Mexico. Aug 26 2007 12:34. Posts 5882

LEFT: Asian dude
Right: Girl needs to work on her picture postures ,P

-Karla:Mira, tu película! -Yo: cuál? -Karla: Big Fish! jaja

Floofy Canada. Aug 26 2007 13:53. Posts 8708

left is like 6 or 6.5, right is like 7.5

thats an average girl grading, not a supermodel grading obviously

james9994: make note dont play against floofy, ;(

Muhweli Finland. Aug 28 2007 05:17. Posts 10663

On August 26 2007 12:53 Floofy wrote:
left is like 6 or 6.5, right is like 7.5

thats an average girl grading, not a supermodel grading obviously

Would they be hotter if they were 12?

Floofy says: my dick is easily bigger than 90% of guys i checked it on the net | Floofy says: i im also doing movements

Highcard Canada. Aug 28 2007 17:19. Posts 5428

I am still jealous

I have learned from poker that being at the table is not a grind, the grind is living and poker is how I pass the time

Sheitan Canada. Aug 28 2007 17:39. Posts 4217

lol the asian girl is a man obviously ! no wonder if "she" only ask for anal sex.

Odds are exactly 50%, either happens or it doesnt