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aka. the legend of the horizontal green line
aka. the legend of the hidden choke monkey

(i wrote this a month ago)

when my brain exploded the first time it was fine. it took me awhile to get back, but eventually i got back to a point where i felt that i had recovered and was in control of my faculties.

let's rewind for a moment. it's 2000 woteva. i'm playing nl4 and taking confident stabs at 6 and 10 and i know that i can beat these fucking games with time. i don't even know what i'm doing. i just sorta sit there and fucking zen it. pattern recognition shit, yomi layer 3 shit. what is he doing, what does he want me to do, what is he liable to have. ok, now what's the line of best fit? what's my hand again? ok. sweet. i even have a script in my head about how i should act as i do whatever i'm about to do. ok, it's time, only this isn't even a conscious thought, it's just sense. pure sense. execute. stuff moves around the screen. the money flows in. site doesn't matter, i sit wherever, i play whatever, i win.

lalala my brain explodes. i recover, or at least i think that i've recovered. i win 140 buyins in some month with similar results for the few before and after, but it's a smaller game. it's embarrasing. the fuck am i doing down here? do i really have it all back? 95*4 is a bigger number than 140*1, and if my brain hadn't exploded the first time, it would be like 68*10, maybe. these are my thoughts. pussy faggot regrets, which are a bad thing to have, especially over things which i cannot control.

give it time kid.

then out of nowhere my brain explodes again. i manage to keep it quiet this time. months pass. i wait. i wait some more. the fuck is this horizontal greenline shit? this ain't me. now it looks like an EKG. what the fuck is this?

i grope around with my game for a year or so, trying to figure out why the shit doesn't work anymore. i used to lose like 10% of what i post here, and 13% of what i post there. hrm. this shit ain't right. i don't think that i'm doing anything differently, the raw defense and rates of aggression look the same, only it's not. something's changed.

and then i realize - it's cuz that zen shit, that pattern recognition shit, that yomi layer 3 shit, it's just gone man. vaporized. it died with the cells.

i realize that if i want to win at cash again, i need to completely overhaul everything about what i'm doing, and do so with constant awareness of my diminished capability to process information. this would probably take six months or so of sustained, uninterrupted effort and be a long motherfucking slog. play 10k hands. review pf here, there, and ya, there under X. modify. play 10k more hands, playing at most 4 tables, and apply. review. street by street, action by action.

fuck that shit. here's why:

mtts man. sngs. i've been murdering these things forever. even with an exploded brain i was murdering these things. with a twice exploded brain i'm still murdering these things. if i'd been playing the shit all along i'd be sitting on 300k. the fuck have i been doing? with a 2k roll i could generate 18/hr at fucking 12/180s, the liberian pisshole of the internet. i'm rolled for 100s+. why have i played 600k hands of b/e cash after not rakeback?

right. pride. the memory of the brain that was, residing in the brain that is.

fuck pride.

-w


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Hey LP, I'm not very active on the forums (as you can see), but I will needing to transfer about 1k from ftp to stars in the next couple of days. I will send first, and even throw in an extra 50$. PM for details.


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this picture

haha its so epic imo, something special about it

http://www.liquidpoker.net/user_pictures/71750206aa0be42a5838d4960fc70fa6.jpg


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Down close to 4 Buy Ins. W T F?

Ran like fucking crap. I dont think I played all too bad but wow....!@#!@#. Running about 60 dollars under EV, and set up for a couple buy ins...I made 1 buy in mistake with TPTK against some dude which ill post later. Maybe like couple 2-3 dollars lost from cbetting like 3 times in bad spots (esp 3bet light pots). But about 100+ dollars worth of suckouts // setups.

Really sux. My entire winnings for feb are gone.

today's session.


http://www.liquidpoker.net/user_pictures/31475.fu222222223.gif


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Yo I need a 48 hour or 1 month live sub. Will trade ps money. Not sending 1st.
Found one pce.


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I send first if you are known


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http://www.liquidpoker.net/user_pictures/5452d.1337.jpg


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Need to transfer $1000 from ftp to stars.

Edit: Nevermind. Thanks Zhevz and Maynard


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so i just opened stars lobby and i saw on the top right that a milestone hand would be dealt on a table.I clicked on it just from curiocity when that happened:
Submitted by : xafies

PokerStars Game #39891000000: Holdem Limit ($0.02/$0.04 USD) - 2010/02/17 17:09:09 EET [2010/02/17 10:09:09 ET]
Table Ankaa 6-max Seat #3 is the button
Seat 3: bbonus4444 ($0.44 in chips)
Seat 4: kralllle ($0.47 in chips)
Seat 5: miguel314 ($1.61 in chips)
Seat 6: WladShepol ($0.63 in chips)
kralllle: posts small blind $0.01
miguel314: posts big blind $0.02

Holecards
Bugaga6e4ka joins the table at seat #2
bolbess joins the table at seat #1
Bugaga6e4ka said, "cards ))"
bbonus4444 said, ""
WladShepol: calls $0.02
bbonus4444: calls $0.02
kralllle: calls $0.01
miguel314: folds

Flop (Pot : $0.08)

   
miguel314 leaves the table
kralllle: checks
WladShepol: checks
bbonus4444: bets $0.02
The_Coppez joins the table at seat #5
kralllle: raises $0.02 to $0.04
The_Coppez said, "wth"
The_Coppez said, "im in"
WladShepol: calls $0.04
bbonus4444: calls $0.02

Turn (Pot : $0.20)

   
The_Coppez said, "haha"
Bugaga6e4ka said, "no ))"
kralllle: checks
The_Coppez said, "but im not dealt :s"
WladShepol: checks
bbonus4444: checks

River (Pot : $0.20)

   
kralllle: checks
WladShepol: checks
The_Coppez said, "i was the first on the waiting list"
bbonus4444: bets $0.04
kralllle: calls $0.04
The_Coppez said, "should i now get the money? ^^"
WladShepol: folds

Showdown
bbonus4444: shows (a pair of Kings)
kralllle: mucks hand
Bugaga6e4ka said, "no )"
bbonus4444 collected $0.27 from pot

Summary
Total pot $0.28 | Rake $0.01
Board  
Seat 3: bbonus4444 (button) showed and won ($0.27) with a pair of Kings
Seat 4: kralllle (small blind) mucked
Seat 5: miguel314 (big blind) folded before Flop
Seat 6: WladShepol folded on the River

just a small bet for each player? like 100 to 200? tops? guy with the most hands played gets all teh moniez?
i think this is good for people who want to imrove volume and keep tabs/chat about it. some people actually need to improve laziness in volume and i think itll do a lot of good for some (not all obv)
we start in march if ever


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after 260 hours, 350k hands of grind in 37 days its done

http://www.liquidpoker.net/user_pictures/d39d3285a3a2bbb5389e641d50de0c9d.jpg

its been a bumpy ride, its been hard but i did it 8 days ahead of phase of my goal of making it in 45 days, so im proud of myself.

ending up only with 3500$ profit with the ~5000$ rakeback i recieved on the road after having a 5k downswing at the end of the supernova hunt at the tables, but w/e, i ended up slightly down, the goal was to breakeven and i guess you can say i kind of did over that large sample

it wasnt worth it, playing 24 tables sucks ass, but now i atleast got supernova. i tested my stamina. i experienced the biggest losing/winning days so far. one of the biggest downswings. but i atleast ended up 3.5k+

http://www.liquidpoker.net/user_pictures/28041dda1ae7917ec01e91ce9ae113c6.jpg

not that good $/hour but concidering i did it in 37 days 100$/day isnt to bad for a smallstakes grinder i guess.

taking the rest of the day off for sure

tomorrow ill get back to 6 tabling

(this really was a stupid idea of me, 24 tabling isnt for me i think, but i know i always can FPP whore like the other breakeven FPP whores out there, maybe its not much but i know i can atleast ^^ if i just stick to 100NL FR atleast)

Graph:
+ Show Spoiler +

the graph of the year looks horrible, ive ran really really really bad, worse then ever before in the 2nd half of the graph, i ran pretty hot in the middle but not enough to justifying running as bad as i have in the end (even though my EV wasnt much of a difference, only 2.5k, the non EV suckouts have been more then enough. Trust me. it was brutal really. but what can u do, standard cashout doomswitch

(cashed out 3k to buy a 50inch TV at the top of the hill, i shoulda seen it coming...)

at the end i took some 200NL shots, started off well, running alot under EV but winning for a couple of sessions, then i hit the biggest losing session for me ever where i just couldnt win any all in pre w JJ+ and AK, just lost like 10 in a row or so in very standard cooler/badbeat spots, u see the big line that goes right down at the end, didnt win a pot during the whole session

(then i only 9 tabled 200nl instead of 24 tabled 100nl)

dunno really why i played 200nl, if i only sticked to 100NL i atleast prolly would have been up, down like 3k at 200NL during this year, some shots here and there over the whole graph..

Graph of 100NL lifetime on stars:

+ Show Spoiler +

its so classic me to always push the edges, always busting big chunks of my roll out of stupidity.. if i only where more of a BR nit i would have a much larger roll by now...

ugh..

Anyways, i made some money not much. but some i got myself a 50 inch TV on the road.

Its gonna be nice to get back home to 6 tabling / playing some HU again

Dont do this ppl, its not worth it ^^

im gonna watch some olympics together with some beers

imo im worth it!

how ever, i got supernova now

ship it bitch

gl thanks for reading




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Why should we bother posting genuine thoughts on these forums?

Why does it take this long for me to realize this?

Are my thoughts justified or am I an asshole (or both)?


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Attached is my laptop graph for nl100 this month so far. My desktop graph is like 17k hands of +4BI poker, so my overall winrate over 25k hands is more like 2500 for the month so far. But overall, my game has improved tremendously. I def. feel like I understand poker at a deeper level and can crush people at my stakes right now. I really love the coaching program as my coach is really wise and teaches what I need to know to get better. Overall, I'm life +EV and poker +EV at the same time, so it's def. been an awesome year so far.

I'm on track to make a nice 5k month, and maybe move up to 1/2 next month or so. I hope I continue the improvements and fix some megaleaks that I have. Pounding on regs is also a really fun thing as well. Wish me luck guys!

http://www.liquidpoker.net/user_pictures/f0822.Untitled picture.png
http://www.liquidpoker.net/user_pictures/d01bf.Untitled picture1.png


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Done , Thank you barbieman


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somtime u make tha paypa

somtime tha paypa make u nomsin

http://www.liquidpoker.net/user_pictures/4e9ed.Feb-Yup.jpg


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yeah. losing every dominated hand. quads vs quads..
guess PS is saving my run good for this sunday.

i probably tilted away a bunch at the end. sigh.
+ Show Spoiler +

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thank you for showing me where i was weak.

-w


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Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 has completely consumed the time that used to be dedicated to poker. I just got the game 8 days ago and I'm already hooked like none other. I think I've picked it up fast. My first 5 days I was like a 0.5 k/d, now I'm >2 over the last few days. In fact I just had a beautiful 35-0 game in which 4 of the kills were with a knife because I ran out of ammo with my primary and secondary (only like 18 of the kills were killstreak).

I can tell I pretty much won't rest until I can get my K/d to 3. Is anyone else as obsessed with this game as I am? If so, share how you like to play. For those that are interested here's my style:

+ Show Spoiler +

Now excuse me while I grind GROOOOOUUUUND WARRRR (the only way to play imo)





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hey everyone, i decided to write another blog. i've noticed lately that my ability to write has deteriorated significantly, and blogging is a nice way to curb boredom.

poker has been going okay. i was offered a backing deal in october of '09, and started playing the $26 and $75 45-mans on ftp, as well grinding 100NL and MTTs. i crushed immediately, which was surprising as i had limited experience playing 45-mans, particularly non-turbos. around mid-december i dedicated myself to moving up to 1/2, and got absolutely destroyed. i ran 2k under EV and most likely played my C game for most of the month. i took a few weeks off and tried again with similar results, eventually busting my ftp account. fortunately, i won about 5k in MTTs on stars, so i wasn't totally busto. unfortunately, i was feeling depressed and unmotivated, and wasn't putting in the necessary hours to remedy my situation. my backer was doing poorly on ftp as well, so he was unable to reload my bankroll, thus putting me in an awkward situation. since then, i've been grinding on stars with reasonable success in the $16-$38 18-mans. this week they're running the "super sit-ng-gos", which are non-turbo 40-mans with a bonus if you win. i'm extremely excited about this as the structure is similar to the ftp 45-mans, but with antes which is obviously even better. i played a bunch of them yesterday, and was able to win two of the $22s, but sadly fell short in the $55s with two disappointing second place finishes.

outside of poker, i've been enjoying the new beach house album, watching a lot of basketball, and even had the pleasure of seeing lebron and shaq up close with seats right behind the cavs bench vs. the grizz a few weeks back. shaq and jj hickson were waving at these two groupies in the row directly in front of us, which was totally awesome. i dug it. also, i saw the band polysics live a few days ago, they're absolutely amazing and hilarious. i would reccomend seeing them perform, even if their genre of music isn't appealing to you.

well, that's about it. good luck to everyone in the $4 million this week. i hope to culminate a week of solid grinding with a big cash, so i can be rich again!


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Completely unrelated title, thats a drop on a local sports station that i listen to. 1310 the ticket. Lately i've been on a heater, haven't had this much success pokerwise in a while. No charts since i'm on cake, but my showdown winnings are probably through the roof. Since my comeback i've only made 2 calls at showdown which i regret. I'm feeling very confident in my play and don't need to make any changes. All in all i get in about 5-7 hours a week, during study hall and during my personal finance class. However, i recently became an RA, and i have to work 6 hours a week. And when i say "work" i mean sit at a desk and be bored for 6 hours! I don't have to do much. Last sunday i got bored so i played MW2 for 3 hours after i worked on some homework. EZ lyfe.
This should give me about 10 hours a week, which is cool with me. So far i've turned my $3.99 in rakeback from when i went busto, and turned it into $42.67 in about 8 hours of play in about 2 weeks.

Baseball wise i had another good weekend, not what i did the prior weekend, but still good. 10 hits given up, 2 runs scored, got the win, 9-2, pitched 6 and 1/3 innings, kinda upset i didn't go the distance (it was a 7 inning game)...but i'm happy with the win.
so far, 2 games started, 2-0 with 1.13 ERA. This weekend, going to Austin, Texas and playing Huston Tillotson, then next weekend we open up conference play in Plaineview against Wayland Baptist.
Anyway, thats it for now

gl hf

tanker


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