:)

Ok, today I logged in a short sesh, about 700~ hands and after that, my goal was officially done. I made that 100$ today, and now I'm ready to go to the next level. Probably will aim for 200-250$ profits there, and then move on to the next level. Let's see if I can do it as fast as in NL2.

My stats during NL2 play.



Total graph.



Going to start playing first session soon.

GL guys

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Im working really hard each day, im grinding like there's no tomorrow, but it really pays off so far. The multitabling and all really increases my discipline and it feels really good to own ppl again, my damaged confidence needs something like that! Hope i can continue like this on the higher levels as well, but I think I can do it, I just need to own the tiltfucker inside of me.
My eyes look fucked up already, they are like bloodshot from staring at the screen all the time, so im going to play maybe only one more session today, and grind on tomorrow, and hopefully I will manage my goal and get that 50'th buyin by tomorrow, and then byebye NL2.

Today's graph:




Total NL2 graph after 3 days :




GL to anybody.

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Yo guys, today went kinda well, I got sucked out on in a few big pots, but all in all im pretty happy. I grinded another 2k something hands today on 001/002, and if this goes on, I will hit my goal soon. I want to make 100$ on this limit, and then move up to the next stake.
Other than that, I watched Midians video today, was pretty interesting, I hope to see more videos of LP members in the future. Maybe I will record one myself soon, could be good to find out possible leaks.

Well, here's my graph since I'm back at stars.

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So im finally back on Stars, feeling like home.... ... FTP software and all was really tilting me.

Transfered 250$, so I left me some $ on FTP.

I decided to start 15 tabling grinding 001c/002c to get used to the software again after my long absence, and just to gain a bit confidence and build the roll. Im gonna stay here for a bit, probably until my roll is at least like 400$. Then my plan is to slowly move up levels, and I'll never play underrolled again. It's so awesome to pay barely ANY rake at all, and just grind, as the level of competition is a joke.

Here's my graph from yesterday + today of playing.

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OK im so fed up with that fucking ftp cursed rigged donk shit son of a gypsy bitch site now, that I want to switch money to PS.


Please only answer if you are "known" in the community, I will send first, and in increments too if you dont mind.

PM or write here if you can/want to help me out.

edit: forgot to say that I want to exchange 250$.

Regards


Edit: its done, thanks a lot again to thewh00sel.

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Ofcourse only the first sessions of this month were good, I knew I would lose everything eventually again. Today I got my rakeback from January, it was 195$. So my bankroll was instaboosted to about 400, but that doesnt matter since I already managed to blow off 4 buyins again, and now i am back on 300. FUCK this I think im going to move to PS soon, i am fucking CURSED on FTP.

Also, my non showdown winnings, are so bad... since my style of play only works when my showdowns work out.. hmm I really wonder how I could improve.. :/

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Just played my first session for the month on NL10, and it started out pretty well. Was running pretty good for once! I hope this holds up for the rest of the month.

Here's my graph

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Warning : Long text.

Ok I have been thinking a lot during the last few days, and I came to the conclusion that I really need help. I think my biggest problem is my ego/tilt problems , and I always think that I somehow deserve to win or etc JUST because i used to win a few years ago, but I wasn't thinking alot about my game and I also refrained from discussing hands for a long time. But this will change now. I will give myself a last try, if I really shouldnt succeed until May/June, I will stop playing poker totally. Because the effort and time is definately not worth it anymore, and I seem to have wrong illusions. ( I tend to think things like, I can get back on track, maybe I'll become a semi-solid winner again and stuff like that, but thats not going to happen if I dont change my view and my whole approach to the game. )

I started playing poker in 2005 basically, playing some freerolls, then I started playign with 5$ that I got on PS and started playing seriously around the end of 2005. I have made good money right from the start, and I learned a lot in this time. The games used to be 100000000x easier as today as well. ( or at least I feel that way nowadays, because I cant seem to win anymore. w-ever )
In this time, I rarely had tilt issues/issues controling myself, and I worked this 5$ up from the 1c/2c tables on PS until like 50NL. Then I decided to change to EUROBET, because it was rakeback available there. I kinda built up a roll there too, like 2000$ and I won some tourneys and shit as well.
Well later, I got sick of Eurobet and the crappy software, so I went back to PS. That was in the first months of 2006, and I worked my way up until the 200NL tables, where i made a lot of money. (at least it was a lot of money for me back then, when I look at what some of you guys make it is certainly ridicolous.) Then, I lost a lot of money because I had to cashout at the end of 2006 due to some incidents. And that was where my crisis basically started, in the year 2007. I was suddenly not my old self anymore, I wasn't playing good anymore and tilting from time to time and all. Well I dont want to go into more details, because the story is getting too long already. Basically 2007 was still decent money, I also won a lot of tourneys, but cash games really didnt work as well anymore, I also started getting tilt issues and stuff and I didnt really try to improve my game, whereas all the other people obviously did. I managed to get half back on track, and even worked my way up to NL400, but the tilt monkey came back and I really lost a huge amount of my roll playing underrolled. Well since then I dont seem to be able to really win anymore. I never lost any money, and I basically still won because all the money I played with was still made of the initial 5$.
2008 I basically stopped playing a few months, and then in november started again, trying to build up everything again. I made money I cant complain, but I feel that I stay a lot under my capabilites just because I am so lazy and never really faced my worst problems. I basically thought all the time that they would just dissapear, but now i will finally try to make a change.

Going to put a lot of hands in here from now on, and stats and everything, and I hope that I can really overcome my problems and I MIGHT succeed as a player again.

As you can see, I have a long history playing poker. I just got a hold on my old handhistorys(only PS tho, missing a lot of hands from other sites) and decided to import them into HEM.

Look at the funny graphs. Enjoy

2006


My best year in poker. Everything seemed so easy. However, i lacked motivation and dedication, I probably could have done a lot better there already.
2007


Bad year as you can see. But I won some tourneys there and on other sites I also won money, so its not as bad as it looks, but for me it was certainly a very bad experience to start losing the first time.

Dont have a graph for 2008 now, going to follow up later.

End of the rambling, gonna start posting some hands/stats etc. later...

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Monthly graph. Nothing to say anymore, pure disappointment, almost busted my whole roll on NL25+NL10 this month. Got about 130$ left. No idea what to do anymore.

GL everybody

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So i decided to take a few days off the tables, but I returned yesterday. Tightened up a bit, stopped bleeding money, which I think was a leak of mine before, I was playing a bit too spewy, and that style didnt seem to work out so well on NL25.

Well, first it started off very good, but then I started getting some suckouts and ran into a few setups, well end of story, I didnt gain any money, I actually lost even more. I received my rakeback from last month a few days ago, so my bankroll was on 400$ again. But now its about 330..

Oh well, not sure what i'm supposed to do. Im about to lose my confidence in my skills. Last month I really fighted and could turn a losing month into a winning one, and actually I felt like I crush the limit, but nowadays I feel like I don't even have an edge somehow. I expected a lot from this month, and instead it seems like I can't even beat NL25 which feels really pathetic and fucks with my mind a lot. Especially because I used to be a winner on NL200( but more than a year ago.. games probably gotten a lot tougher and maybe I suck now.. ).
Everybody seems to make money, and I feel like I cant even beat these silly stakes anymore... quite depressing.
I think if I won't have success with poker soon I might as well completely quit. But that would not make me very happy, because I dont like to give up.

But after all it was maybe only a fluke that I used to have success... ahh I really don't know anymore.

Oh well end of rambling post..

Here's my updated monthly graph. Down 18 buyins lol.




GL guys...

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