Finally..

That's nuts... you did all this just to fix your winrate on .5/1? @.@ I'm amazed you have the patience for this after being a steady winner at high stakes..
And stop being on my left lol

On June 06 2010 04:43 Jhyun88 wrote: That's nuts... you did all this just to fix your winrate on .5/1? @.@ I'm amazed you have the patience for this after being a steady winner at high stakes.. And stop being on my left lol

Yeah, I guess I have "problems".

Anyway, I guess I won't be on your left anymore now anyway ^.^

Pretend PTR doesn't exist!!! I know it's possible because I convinced myself for like, two days!

this is just sad...

You are insane lol

haha good! stay off my tables

omg midian this e-drug called wow is so 2006 ;/
Once you invest ALOT of time playing you know u wasted 90% of it -.-

strange thing tho beeing a gamer since i remember myself ^^ once i got into poker i dont really find joy in
any game as i used to.i ll find fun playing 2-3 sc2 games but not like 10 as i used in sc1 or 5-6 hours in wow-.-


Sick winrates @ micros , seems like when you played higer , you can easily crash lower limits.

anyway , gl to robusto

welcome back, jamie.

LOL

and welcome to the omahas.

midian you are my sc/poker hero but seriously this ptr winrate obsession was a complete waste of life, as im sure you know. you gave up so much potential profit from your normal stakes while playing 100nl for a year over something that couldve been fixed through a little discipline.

Sup Uptown, how's things going? Not spoke in a while ^_^;;;


I totally agree with you joLin, in every blog post I've made over that time period I'm always like "I know this is dumb, but.." or "I know I'm wasting my time, but...". I managed to stop playing those stakes for short periods of time now and then, but always ended up going back to it after a while.

It's not just that either, I can see instances of my OCD in a lot of things. My bet sizing is OCD, the fact I used to list my friends list in SC in alphabetical order and make sure each ID I added was correctly capitalised was OCD, as is the fact that all of my character names in wow begin with "Imp", how I order my DVD and CD collection alphabetically, rename every music file on my hard drive so that it follows the format of Track Number-Track Name is OCD. Pretty much anything to do with organising, numbers, order I'm pretty much OCD about. There's other things too, but don't come to my mind instantly. All of these things are a waste of time, and I know that, but I feel compelled to do all of these things for the sake of being neat and organised, or for whatever reason.

Anyway that's pretty much why I posted this blog, this has been something that's been nagging me for a long time, and I just wanted to write about my relief, that I finally got that stupid winrate that I wanted just for the sake of stats, to express that I don't need to waste my time on it anymore. As sad as all this sounds, I just feel like a burden has been lifted and now I can get my poker career back on track, work the way up the PLO ladder, jump back into $3/$6, $5/$10 NLHE when I've made enough money from PLO, hopefully succeed at PLO also, giving me much more playing options whenever I wanna play poker which is going to help tremendously with both game selection and also keeping my enjoyment in poker in general since the variation will hopefully prevent me from getting bored of poker as often as I have as of late.

I respect your discipline to play 100nl like that........ but that is some horrible opportunity cost, it's no different to playing WoW

gl in PLO

lol "WoW" xD

I did the same for feb march and april this year though and finally decided to not touch Starcraft 2 again once I realize I wasn't playing poker at all anymore and was breaking even after 4 months lolz

i don't understand how you guys perceive what midian did as a disciplined thing to do, its completely the opposite, its a really foolish thing to do. it's not like if he ran bad at high stakes and then dropped down to mid stakes to get some confidence back or anything like that. if he did all this it all came from a lack of discipline in the first place, which apparently he has very little control over. midian clearly has some serious issues to address.

anyway... lots of people on LP would've loved PTR never to exist... i'm starting to think midian is number one on that list now rofl

I'm #2 8D

nvm

gj

Nice to see that you're playing a bit more jamie. What did your chars end up looking like when you finished WoW?

wb Jamie

On June 06 2010 11:09 concrescence wrote: Nice to see that you're playing a bit more jamie. What did your chars end up looking like when you finished WoW?

Had 4 level 80s, didn't manage to kill Lich King since guild burned out when we got to him and most players in guild were mediocre anyway. Had almost best stuff I could get outside of heroics on my main, never really got into PvP much, got like 1500 or something as Mage Rogue but we didn't play a super huge number of games and neither of us were particularly good anyway

On June 06 2010 09:42 Loco wrote: i don't understand how you guys perceive what midian did as a disciplined thing to do, its completely the opposite, its a really foolish thing to do. it's not like if he ran bad at high stakes and then dropped down to mid stakes to get some confidence back or anything like that. if he did all this it all came from a lack of discipline in the first place, which apparently he has very little control over. midian clearly has some serious issues to address. anyway... lots of people on LP would've loved PTR never to exist... i'm starting to think midian is number one on that list now rofl

Guys? One guy said he respected the discipline.

Every one else was just nice.

I don't see the point in saying how bad this is since it's pretty clear he is aware of it anyway. Give him some solid tips how he can manage this instead.

welcome back jamie

On June 06 2010 11:53 SpasticInk wrote: Show nested quote + On June 06 2010 09:42 Loco wrote: i don't understand how you guys perceive what midian did as a disciplined thing to do, its completely the opposite, its a really foolish thing to do. it's not like if he ran bad at high stakes and then dropped down to mid stakes to get some confidence back or anything like that. if he did all this it all came from a lack of discipline in the first place, which apparently he has very little control over. midian clearly has some serious issues to address. anyway... lots of people on LP would've loved PTR never to exist... i'm starting to think midian is number one on that list now rofl Guys? One guy said he respected the discipline. Every one else was just nice. I don't see the point in saying how bad this is since it's pretty clear he is aware of it anyway. Give him some solid tips how he can manage this instead.

yeah someone else mentioned discipline and i thought there were two people, but the other guy was of the opinion that he needed discipline too.

well, i'm sorry i'm being critical. i just think jamie has lost his balls somewhere along the way too and that's my honest (and not nice) opinion. he should try to find em again to face his issues. i think there's more to it than just being OCD and i'm not qualified to give him any sort of advice on how to sort his own problems out. i'm of the opinion that trying to help people who are addicted to video games is a waste of time too. not that they're all hopeless cases, but there's only so much people can do on an internet forum to support someone.

maybe he should hire d_zoo to get some life coaching, he seems qualified.

Are you trying to troll me Loco? I don't get you at all. I've lost my balls? I have glaring life issues that are not OCD related? I need life coaching? Thanks for telling me that what I've done is foolish etc too, as if I haven't stated that myself a million times?

Btw, I thought you were quitting this site like 4 months ago? I guess I can conclude that you have some issues of your own if you're still here!

that yellow glow

i'm pretty sure everyone is fucked up in their own way or in at least a certain aspect of their lives.

^ this

btw.. gj midian , play what you want, when you want, how you want ... and enjoy your life
and pls post more , i loved your posts in hand discussion threads

On June 06 2010 14:07 morph1 wrote: ^ this btw.. gj midian , play what you want, when you want, how you want ... and enjoy your life and pls post more , i loved your posts in hand discussion threads

highfive

100% joking about the life coaching, not kidding about you having no balls at all to face your problems. playing wow + grinding low stakes for someone with your potential is a clear indicator that there is a serious issue underlying it all. whether that's just OCD or not, if you can truthfully say it's just OCD and not mental/emotional problems (depression for example) then that is a big issue in itself that should be investigated to the best of your ability.

On June 06 2010 13:35 ToT)MidiaN( wrote: Btw, I thought you were quitting this site like 4 months ago? I guess I can conclude that you have some issues of your own if you're still here!

i've took the break i needed and came back on my decision.

the only people who don't change their minds are the ones who are insane

On June 06 2010 13:17 ToT)MidiaN( wrote: Are you trying to troll me Loco? I don't get you at all. I've lost my balls? I have glaring life issues that are not OCD related? I need life coaching? Thanks for telling me that what I've done is foolish etc too, as if I haven't stated that myself a million times?

umm.. no i'm pretty sure that was never directed to you but to the one who thought there was something respectable about what you did

and if i really wanted to troll you i would say you are my favorite low stakes featured blogger after milkman

Midian, play wow when it's arena tournament, more fun, u get to pick gear, no grind, and u can just chill, duel, test classes, specs, and do arena xD

Had a 2-3 weeks prolapse back to wow, but stopped pretty fast. Old friends took care of me, got dressed in some icc25 gear thingy, and stopped right after, pve isn't that fun T_T
the fun wears off when you've gotten used to your old friends and you get bored again xD

gj dooooood

On June 06 2010 13:42 YoMeR wrote: i'm pretty sure everyone is fucked up in their own way or in at least a certain aspect of their lives.

yes everyone is fucked up a little bit... but most aren't fucking bat-shit retarded

not that i'm implying you are or anything, have always appreciated your insight and analysis and whatnot... but wow man, simply wow

On June 06 2010 13:35 ToT)MidiaN( wrote: Btw, I thought you were quitting this site like 4 months ago? I guess I can conclude that you have some issues of your own if you're still here!

D_zoo and I secretley love you. If you ever need anything just ask

duno what type of response u were expecting but what most normal human would get out of this post is that interweb has weird dudes

I don't write blog posts to create any kind of response, I write them to keep track of where I am, what I'm up to for my own personal record and for other people who are interested in reading what I'm up to. Anyway, although I did anticipate responses such as "What a waste of time" "Wow sucks dick" etc, since I get that everytime, but I didn't expect anyone to insult me personally and basically say I'm fucked up cause I have some OCD issues, I mean I dunno what Loco was even incinuating what my problem is beyond just OCD. I don't mind criticism, but when it goes beyond simple criticism and is written in a blunt, disrespectful manner then it becomes insulting rather than just criticism. Plenty of people have told me I'm wasting my time for a long time, I know it myself, I completely agree with it, but going further than that and insulting me as a person is pretty dick imo.

Meh whatever, he probably wasn't trying to be malicious or anything, just seemed a dickish way to write whatever it was he intended to mean

On June 06 2010 23:51 ToT)MidiaN( wrote: I don't write blog posts to create any kind of response, I write them to keep track of where I am, what I'm up to for my own personal record and for other people who are interested in reading what I'm up to. Anyway, although I did anticipate responses such as "What a waste of time" "Wow sucks dick" etc, since I get that everytime, but I didn't expect anyone to insult me personally and basically say I'm fucked up cause I have some OCD issues, I mean I dunno what Loco was even incinuating what my problem is beyond just OCD. I don't mind criticism, but when it goes beyond simple criticism and is written in a blunt, disrespectful manner then it becomes insulting rather than just criticism. Plenty of people have told me I'm wasting my time for a long time, I know it myself, I completely agree with it, but going further than that and insulting me as a person is pretty dick imo Meh whatever, he probably wasn't trying to be malicious or anything, just seemed a dickish way to write whatever it was he intended to mean

sorry i agree with you but that made me lol >.<
I know this is a serious issue but I wish I had OCD about my grades in uni. -_-;; I was being so irresponsible dicking around my first 2 years.

Good luck on your poker career now that you got this shit out of your way! If I'm lucky enough, maybe I'll see you one day at higher stake @@

offtopic: someone buy my lvl80 fieldmarshall paladin on bg9 lol got upto 2350 in 2v2 long ass time ago. Willing to ship to you for couple buyins on PS.

i did not mean to insult you, i'm just very critical and honest. if you are dealing with something out of your control right now then you are clearly not responsible. but i guess that's what i'm getting at, is it really out of your control? that's an important distinction to make... if it's only OCD then there's a lot that can be done. when i had my panic disorder i also got a lot of info on OCDs and it seems very treatable from what i remember.

i dont know it just bothers me to see potential being flushed down the toilet and people settling for mediocrity. maybe i see some of myself in you (to a different extent)? and that's why i reacted like i did.

i also personally prefer tough love to whatever else people have to offer me so i try to give out the same

Yeah, I def appreciate honesty, but as far as I'm aware I have no problem other than just OCD so I took what you said more as insulting rather than as harsh but honest criticism, since if it's not truth it isn't the latter. I dunno though, maybe I do have problems that I don't even realise myself, but afaik it's just OCD =o Anyway whatever prob gonna stop talking about this cause now my blog has taken an unintended tangent

I kinda think it's unnecessary too, wasting time like that when you could be crushing nl1k+, but we're all fucked in some way like Yomer said, guess this is just your thing. I shouldn't talk either, I certainly have all the time in the world for religious grinding, but I don't. Instead I've racked up some 1500 hours in one particular computer game that I really should have quit long ago. Anyways gl man.

People here seem keen to assert their views on "meaningfullness" asif it's somehow fact (and they are no better than the religious people who says "I know X is true because I have faith" ).Obviously a large ammount of people here will consider more $ = more meaning, but whether it's meaningful or worthwhile or not I considered it impressive Midian.

just wow @ your ambition

Not wanting to be in the red = serious life issues?



wat

you're such a beast

lol @ the OCD, it cracks me up. I'm happy that you finally got those stats straightened out so that you can move on.

Good idea on quitting wow.

On June 12 2010 07:00 lucifer wrote: Not wanting to be in the red = serious life issues? wat

you seem to be fairly intelligent so i would think this is a troll but i'll reply anyway...

this 'equation' of yours is missing a lot. it's not just "not wanting to be in the red", that's a very blatant minimization. open your eyes and go take a look at midian's old blog posts and see how he was doing at high stakes. he decided to give that up to play wow and now rebuild a bankroll from scratch. it's just really stupid. poker is the best opportunity we have to make it financially at life being so young, and someone like midian who's had such a great start can be set for life real quick with some discipline, but he's just thrown it in the garbage. to me that's not right and you better have some good reasons for it if you don't want me to question what's going on in your head.

personally, if i was down money at nl25, you can be sure i wouldn't be wasting my time trying to get even at it when i have the funds to play 5-6+ stakes higher than that, it just seems logical, it's a complete waste of time. midian has agreed on that, he said he knew it was a waste of time and he's conveying that he didn't have control over it. i've known midian a bit, and he's made it public in the past that he had some issues with depression, so after seeing this i've made that link and felt like he must have had some life issues to deal with in order for this to happen. anyway, i don't know about you but ocd and depression to me are some pretty serious issues. midian has clarified that he didn't feel like he had any other problems than ocd though so good for him i guess.

lmfao jamie u such a n00b, i just realize ur blog was a feature blog LOL

On June 14 2010 07:37 donkey wrote: lmfao jamie u such a n00b, i just realize ur blog was a feature blog LOL

ez asap etc

Loco what are you doing wasting your time on liquid poker?? I mean 16536 posts? think how many extra hands you could of gotten in instead of giving all these people who clearly don't give a shit about your honest advice anyways.

honest advice

See a therapist please

Always respected your mindset Midian, gl in the future

On June 24 2010 22:19 casinocasino wrote: Loco what are you doing wasting your time on liquid poker?? I mean 16536 posts? think how many extra hands you could of gotten in instead of giving all these people who clearly don't give a shit about your honest advice anyways. honest advice

i'm not mentally impaired, i can actually do two things at the same time, sometimes more! impressed? also, fyi, i'm a HU player. do you know how much time you spend waiting as a HU player? u keep yourself busy during that time. wouldn't posting on a poker forum be a logical thing to do while waiting? not only that, but most of my posts were not a waste of time, not all my posts are in blogs or in the general section, so they were me being active in a community i enjoy partaking in, as well as learning poker. surely-- even with your intellectual abilities considered -- you must understand that it is beneficial because it improves analysis skills.

i have my own problems like everyone, but you fucking fail at pointing at them because you have literally no clue, because i haven't done any retarded shit. if i had, i would be glad to receive some tough love.

thanks for your honest and valued opinion -- LP would be a sad place without fine gentlemen like you to speak about what others think. i would think that with such clairvoyance skills you would be quite busy and not waste your time looking like an idiot on the internet...

Have you ever considered that because of this OCD you are a better poker player?

On June 28 2010 15:52 EscapingR wrote: Have you ever considered that because of this OCD you are a better poker player?

Actually yes. I was thinking about that after watching a Phil Galfond video where he was talking about his "near OCD need to balance", and although balance doesn't equal being good at poker, it's definitely helpful against good players who are going to destroy you if they figure out a sizing imbalance or if you have super imbalanced lines and ranges. I think it also helps in that, instead of being content to play a ton of tables and grind out a smaller winrate, I force myself to play fewer tables and try to make the best decision I can at every point in the hand. Maybe there are other reasons it helps, maybe there are some reasons it hinders? I do agree that it helps me be a better poker player to some degree though