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Que Sera, Sera

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RiKD    United States. Apr 05 2024 22:41. Posts 9020
Whatever will be, will be.

I'm still writing my novel. Up to 80 some pages. I still feel a bit blocked. It's like what I've added some of it is decent and some of it moves the story but a lot of it could probably be cut and it wouldn't matter too much. I'm still stuck on where the story is going and how to finish it. I keep going just figuring I'll figure it out but the writing is ok but I'm not figuring it out yet. People tell me to keep writing which I do but I have to reel it in at some point and tell a good story and end it well. Maybe I should just say fuck the reader and write whatever I want. End the book abruptly with nuclear acopalypse. Que sera, sera. Whatever will be, will be.

I went back to my MacBook Pro today from 2009. 15 years old and it still works. Although it's operating system is too old to run barely anything. It does have a working Notes (word processor). I prefer Notes to anything Windows has to offer. I am thinking of transferring my desktop to Linux. Be that kind of nerd. I was a Firefox / DuckDuckGo nerd on my MacBook Pro.

I'm flourishing in a flourish of Byung-Chul Han. The Compulsion Of Authenticity from The Disapearrance of Rituals has to be one of the better chapters he has written.

It really is que sera, sera though. Whatever will be, will be. Makes me want to read Seneca vs. Jesus. Marcus Aurelius Meditations vs any other religious crap. Sometimes things feel overwhelming. It would be nice to believe in faith. Life is not that simple.

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RiKD    United States. Apr 06 2024 23:58. Posts 9020

Digital communities vs Actual communities

We'll probably need lostaccount to go on another run to have any sort of discussion on this.


RiKD    United States. Apr 07 2024 00:03. Posts 9020

But, talking on MSN and Skype and Discord and going to live in large houses in Las Vegas and eat kobe beef and sushi and go to the SPEARMINT RHINO has to amount to something no?

On the other side "Actual communities" I don't even get a whiff of "Actual communities." I live mostly an isolated life and have a handful of friends. No community.


lostaccount   Canada. Apr 07 2024 00:40. Posts 6202

Lol let it be let it be, u lived a good life rikd made good friends had good experiences now it's time to live a different chapter in life.

blessed soul 

lostaccount   Canada. Apr 07 2024 00:44. Posts 6202

I don't know maybe it's time to just chill n enjoy the rest of what life has to offer. I don't know what else u want to experience but I have experience a lot of life except a kid. I wonder when I will have a kid like other LPers. Time for you to find peace first? Are u at peace?

blessed soul 

RiKD    United States. Apr 07 2024 03:07. Posts 9020

I was reading some Byung-Chul Han today and he was talking about inactiveness. He was talking about sleep being the best form of mental relaxing and boredom being the 2nd best form or mental relaxation. I was very inactive today besides taking a 30 min. walk in nature. It was a luxorious walk. I could choose to just walk rather than run. There was no compulsion to work, perform, or produce. I had some semblance of peace most of the day. I don't think it's possible to ACHIEVE peace just as the sun does not always shine in the middle of the USA in spring. We can easier pin down the location of the sun than to try and pin down the feeling of peace. Peace is ephemeral. At least for me. We may need war to find peace. Break free of our slave / labor / production chains. Weak play begets weak results. I do not wish to rest in order to work but that is my fate. My master is a faceless / unknown entity. These days that's the whole point. I can't kill my master if I can't find it. So, I toil in order to survive and forget peace. Nihilism is my enemy, not boredom. Nothing lasts for ever, not even trees, rivers, or mountains. I laugh at names on gravestones. Yet, I'm terrified of death. Authenticity... there is no such thing. Very few of us are not scared animals. You want to win big you have to gamble big but that means you can and will lose big too. Fuck it, I'll take my medications and watch The Sopranos until I fall asleep. It's like I have surrendered.


RiKD    United States. Apr 07 2024 17:01. Posts 9020

I hope everyone is enjoying the Sabbath or day of rest. If God can rest then you can rest.


RiKD    United States. Apr 08 2024 03:12. Posts 9020

Hey Y'all,

Let's engage in some Digital Communication. It's cheap, it's easy, it's fun! I had a good day of being inactive. Now it's time to get more active faster and even faster than that! Let's get so fast and active to the point of hyperactivity and burnout and the end of the Earth!


RiKD    United States. Apr 08 2024 03:53. Posts 9020

I finished my novel... now what?


RiKD    United States. Apr 08 2024 03:56. Posts 9020

Will my novel grant me immortality OR is it just a piece of shit art piece that should be thrown in the trash?

There are also other options.

 Last edit: 09/04/2024 01:01

RiKD    United States. Apr 09 2024 01:41. Posts 9020

In all my days, I am vying for attention. There is no satisfaction or saiety. How many omakase and blow job is enough? True, there is satisfaction and saiety for a time. I would not like to be bothered while running errands or eating a meal.


RiKD    United States. Apr 11 2024 03:35. Posts 9020

My novel, my novel, my novel is finished. I just wanted to see if I could do it and I did it and I have a craving to write and I don't know where to put that craving as of yet so I am putting it here. In my blog on a dead website. Which curiously has 70 something views.

My life is very boring. I take care of my mother's plants. She lives at the local garden stores. There is a lot to take care of. I play my guitar. I do not know to what end. Hopefully, an end to itself but it is the type of thing that is good for me. To discipline myself and play at least a little bit everyday. I read a fair amount. I try to embrace inactivity. It's actually pretty difficult to be inactive all day. There are urges to be active like writing this now but there is some contemplativeness that goes into it too. Or I'm just fooling myself. Maybe, I should start my second novel (Oh God).


RiKD    United States. Apr 11 2024 03:40. Posts 9020

My novel is bordering on not sucking and sucking but I like it so that is all that matters.


RiKD    United States. Apr 11 2024 03:55. Posts 9020

I have been considering conforming to Christianity. I have had certain profound spiritual experiences in my past that I more or less took for granted while working with a mostly Christian program in the form of Alcoholics Anonymous 12 Step Program. I have not felt any Spiritual Experience since although it would not be fair to say there has not been spiritual progress just barren mostly recently. I should probably read some Nietzsche and see if I can really see this effort through. If I had to pick I think it would be Catholicism. My great uncle was a hero and a Catholic Priest. Although the local Catholic Church threw a party when Roe v Wade was overturned... These are just thoughts. It feels like spirituality is missing in my life. I am not as good of a writer as Nietzsche and don't have a pension to live off of or else I'd experiment with that path. In reality, it seems like the only answers for Nietzsche were writing and walking. He lived an incredibly alone existance and I like to see friends every now and again. It looks like a midlife crisis but in reality I have seasonal life crisis.


lostaccount   Canada. Apr 11 2024 13:21. Posts 6202

Haha don’t be a Christian, you aren’t capable of it but be spiritual more suitable for u n better. We are all one and one is all. Good luck rikd

blessed soul 

lostaccount   Canada. Apr 11 2024 13:23. Posts 6202

Ur problem is you not being productive to some capacity, be productive also there isn’t climate change from us, it’s from the sun if u actually do some research. Dont listen to their hidden agenda

blessed soul 

RiKD    United States. Apr 11 2024 21:24. Posts 9020


  On April 11 2024 12:21 lostaccount wrote:
Haha don’t be a Christian, you aren’t capable of it but be spiritual more suitable for u n better. We are all one and one is all. Good luck rikd



We are all sinners. Just confess my sins and I will be ok. Easy game.


RiKD    United States. Apr 11 2024 21:27. Posts 9020


  On April 11 2024 12:23 lostaccount wrote:
Ur problem is you not being productive to some capacity, be productive also there isn’t climate change from us, it’s from the sun if u actually do some research. Dont listen to their hidden agenda



What does productive even mean in your view?

You want to be on an assembly line making cars or something?

I did research on climate change. Not sure if you have. Who is "they" and what is the "hidden agenda?"


lostaccount   Canada. Apr 12 2024 00:02. Posts 6202

production is when u r happy doing things with ur time.
they the government hidden agenda forget it I don't get to get into it.

blessed soul 

lostaccount   Canada. Apr 12 2024 00:02. Posts 6202


  On April 11 2024 20:24 RiKD wrote:
Show nested quote +



We are all sinners. Just confess my sins and I will be ok. Easy game.


yep im a sinner too

blessed soul 

 
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