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Looks or Game Part II

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RiKD    United States. Nov 10 2022 22:22. Posts 7645
Loco wrote:


  "All happiness or unhappiness solely depends upon the quality of the object to which we are attached by love." - Spinoza

As always, what you are looking for is connection. I highly doubt that coding is the path to follow to get that. The people who follow that path probably already have that in their lives, had already heavily invested in this path earlier in life, or don't really need it (autistic, schizoid). Focus on meeting your needs the best you can now, not with the long-shots of things that could afford you with more financial independence down the (long) road.





  An intimate connection, yeah. Seeing someone for who they are and being seen by someone for who you are. Being accepted and validated. Physical touch and sex are not necessarily intimate. The only thing that has kept me going was the possibility of finding this connection, and the idea of preparing myself for it. It's difficult to put yourself out there, make yourself available and deal with rejection, but it has to be done at some point if you don't want to keep running on empty forever. You need it more than the money and whatever else there is.



I can not dispute these claims.

I don't know if I actually need a looks or game thread but I find myself pretty bored.

I don't have a whole lot in the looks department besides being tall. I don't think I am being delusional when I say I can dress well. Game. I don't think I am a silver tongued hero sober. I am pretty shy and reserved yet funny. Anyways, I know that all of that matters but it really boils down to finding some social sphere I can feel comfortable with and stand out in. That is the opportunity. That is the problem. Probably the biggest thing that hinders me is that I live at home with my parents. Not impossible to make friends but not near ideal for dating prospects. I could also forego having friends at all and pay sex workers to talk to me.



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RiKD    United States. Nov 10 2022 22:26. Posts 7645


RiKD    United States. Nov 10 2022 22:32. Posts 7645

I was curious so I looked up books on dating and getting a girlfriend and they all looked like trash.

I'm not even obese anymore which is good. I carry some emotional baggage but I think I need to just dive in somehow although I will procrastinate in anyway possible.


RiKD    United States. Nov 10 2022 23:05. Posts 7645

I realize Looks or Game was kind of at the expense of Floofy. He sort of ended up with a good match? I don't really know.

Some may say why are you asking a dead website of nerds how to find the Other / a match?

Well, if nerds on a dead website can figure out how to find someone that's whose suggestions I probably need.


dnagardi   Hungary. Nov 11 2022 18:15. Posts 1757

what is a looks or game thread? I kinda missed that but has been mentioned plenthy of times. Can someone elaborate please


RiKD    United States. Nov 12 2022 04:13. Posts 7645

Just type Looks or game into search and click search. Enjoy.


Santafairy   Korea (South). Nov 12 2022 07:08. Posts 2177


  On November 11 2022 17:15 dnagardi wrote:
what is a looks or game thread? I kinda missed that but has been mentioned plenthy of times. Can someone elaborate please


it is in reference to the timeless debate or passive vs. active entertainment
"looks" is like watching TV or youtube videos, reading, kind of mindless sitting there absorbing, whereas "game" is like poker when you are an active participant trying to overcome and win something

lot of people spend all their energy at their jobs and so on so they prefer the opposite in their leisure time, and other people need that challenge. though i'd argue most modern video games fit more into the mindless category

It seems to be not very profitable in the long run to play those kind of hands. - Gus Hansen 

NewbSaibot   United States. Nov 12 2022 18:43. Posts 4913

game, definitely game. I'm a 7 but easily pull 8's and occasionally a 9 because I can make women laugh. Having trawled through the boyfriend history of my ex's and seeing the attractive men they date, it always came down to money. "Oh him? He's a CEO..... this guy owned his own business.... Chad was a VP of..." all big time 6 figure earners with houses and nice cars, meanwhile they're with my broke ass earning barely 60k/year driving a Kia in a 1 bedroom apartment. Why? Because I can hold a conversation for 12 hours & my fuckgame is above average.

listening to edzwoo has made u a nit... *sigh* - ZalforLast edit: 12/11/2022 18:44

RiKD    United States. Nov 13 2022 04:21. Posts 7645

I apologize for this thread. I re-read the Looks or Game thread last night and there is no recreating that. Classic. Remarkable. Holy shit!


RiKD    United States. Nov 13 2022 04:46. Posts 7645


  On November 12 2022 17:43 NewbSaibot wrote:
game, definitely game. I'm a 7 but easily pull 8's and occasionally a 9 because I can make women laugh. Having trawled through the boyfriend history of my ex's and seeing the attractive men they date, it always came down to money. "Oh him? He's a CEO..... this guy owned his own business.... Chad was a VP of..." all big time 6 figure earners with houses and nice cars, meanwhile they're with my broke ass earning barely 60k/year driving a Kia in a 1 bedroom apartment. Why? Because I can hold a conversation for 12 hours & my fuckgame is above average.



$60k/year in a 1 bedroom apartment is plenty depending on the city. I made $70k in a 1 bedroom near but too far from Chicago and the potential was crazy. But, my mindset was a bit fucked and my drinking was a problem. Maybe we are similar because making women laugh and having conversation are some of my strengths too. I don't know about my fuck game anymore. I feel women appreciate men being sexy, going down on them, and not jackhammering them to death was good enough. I think a lot of guys have gotten wiser or maybe not, I don't know. Now, I make $30k/year and live with my parents. The difference is massive except somehow the stress at the job is still immense. It's a pretty shitty position in life. I figure I gotta go the sex worker route or just pick up a massive World of Warcraft habit or something.


RiKD    United States. Nov 14 2022 04:45. Posts 7645

Most people are desperately trying to stay ahead of their burnrate. Corporations are. Executives are. Middle Management are. We all are. It's exhausting. That is why when something comes around that could improve human life in the future it's a sigh of relief as well as stimulating.

I just came across this the other day. I thought it was great:

Quadratic Payments: A Primer


Stroggoz   New Zealand. Nov 15 2022 10:53. Posts 5098

Modern-day psychologists understand happiness way better than Spinoza. At least Spinoza had big balls I guess.

One of 3 non decent human beings on a site of 5 people with between 2-3 decent human beings 

Loco   Canada. Nov 15 2022 16:26. Posts 20898

I got the quote from a popular psychology book on attachment theory

The medium is the message 

Stroggoz   New Zealand. Nov 15 2022 23:21. Posts 5098

well, wherever you got it, it's a bullshit quote.

One of 3 non decent human beings on a site of 5 people with between 2-3 decent human beings 

RiKD    United States. Nov 17 2022 03:53. Posts 7645

In the words of RainKhan: "Uhhhh OK!"


RiKD    United States. Nov 17 2022 03:58. Posts 7645

Why is it bullshit?

Is there any continental philosophers you don't have a distaste for? Certainly some non-math thought has been good over 3,000 years?

Maybe the OG Socrates was right in that know one (continental philosophers especially) knows anything?


RiKD    United States. Nov 17 2022 04:47. Posts 7645

I don't really want to write a blog that entails me saying "I'm hungry" and then detailing how I went to the fridge and got some food but that seems to be how it goes.

One thing I noticed is that I thought getting my car fixed would be a relief yet then all the other things I should be doing crowd into that space. I am beginning to be convinced that having money is a subtractive benefit and not an additive thing. I look around the room. There are a lot of material misses that are collecting dust. Maybe it was worth it for a brief period of transcendence maybe it isn't. I never even figured out how to hook up my mic to my computer. Subtractive meaning there is a lot of stuff I have to worry about because of a lack of money. I think the key to money is to put it towards additive experience and subtractive worry. After paying the car bill I feel more insecure. Human beings are fragile always even though we don't like to admit it but I feel more fragile. I mean I bet some of these billionaires funding SENS and whatever don't feel as fragile. They have the same meat vessels though. Maybe not for forever. Well, apparently my bone density is decreasing which I guess is a natural thing but it is outside the normal bounds and they want me to get a bone density scan but I don't have the money. If I had money I go get the scan from the shiny new machine and not even think twice about it probably. I don't even know what to do. I can't control bone loss besides going HAM in the gym maybe and my teeth are bone and I have been avoiding going to the dentist because they want to charge me $50 for missing an appointment when I was in the ER about to be moved to the psych. ward and I have sleep apnea and they want me to get a cpap machine. Well, those things are expensive too and I've been losing weight which supposedly helps that and my liver where they want to get an ultrasound or something even fancier and it's just like my god this is too much I can't even get that many days off work and it's one giant interconnected shitstorm. Getting older is terrible. So, this is why I feel incredibly fragile and full of worry all the time and I go to work which is also terrible and just try and survive and I come back home tired, worn out, lacking energy, lacking focus, lacking will power and I get some stuff done sometimes but then others it's just procrastination like exactly what writing these absurd blogs are about. I even signed up for a consultation at effective altruism site because even if I don't believe in EFFECTIVE ALTRUISM TM maybe just maybe there could be some idea(s) in there that could get me out of this hell scape.

I'm tired but I have to stay up because I work a later shift tomorrow. I don't feel like practicing coding or reading a 30 page paper about Quadratic Funding. Those are somewhat challenging activities and I just don't have the god damn willpower, energy, focus at this point. Fuck it. I guess I'll read and go to sleep.


CurbStomp2   Finland. Nov 17 2022 09:23. Posts 121

I find coding really interesting but also quite mentally demanding. I know people like us who are software engineers so I guess it's doable.


RiKD    United States. Nov 18 2022 04:55. Posts 7645

I have a good friend who keeps telling me that it's as easy as getting some understanding and doing a boot camp.

#1 - He had savings from poker and put all his eggs in the coding basket
#2 - Sharp guy
#3 - He still had to work some shitty jobs but did end up getting an amazing job after a year or two

Every time I talk to him he tells me I need to follow up on coding. It's hard to work hard at something shitty for 40 hours a week. Selling clothing is a rather benign thing to do. Selling clothing is a rather banal thing to do. If I really loved coding I wouldn't listen to anyone and I would just do it. Sometimes this is the case but it is certainly not always the case.

Also, what exactly did you mean by "people like us"?

Persons with mental health and substance abuse issues?


CurbStomp2   Finland. Nov 18 2022 17:12. Posts 121

Mentally ill people


 
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