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MARSHALL28 United States. Nov 05 2009 19:12. Posts 1904 | | |
For about the last 5-16 months I had been trying to come to grips with the fact that I just will never be as good as I thought I was capable of. I had thought for a long time that I would one day be good enough to sit in the 25/50 games and be feared by most at the table. After suffering from losing a number of very long losing streaks and struggling to maintain a bankroll big enough to play 1/2 I was finally starting to accept the fact that I wasn't good enough to ever beat any higher than 1/2 or 2/4 and I'd be resigned there for the rest of my poker career. This was very depressing for me to have to accept, it almost made the whole point of continuing to play fruitless. It also destroyed my confidence in my own abilities in other aspects of life. I mean, if I couldn't do well in this one thing I had been working so hard at for 3 years--I must just not be very smart and not able to succeed in other fields either.
I've been getting coaching from Tommy Angelo, 2 hours a day twice a month, what I thought might be my last chance to restore my hope and my belief in myself. He has definitely done a lot for me, and has helped me to understand a lot of things about life and about poker. The biggest one would be, I suppose, that it doesn't really matter how far I can go or what I've done in the past. I began meditating and doing yoga at his behest, and in general I felt better about myself and felt more at ease with my situation and the world. I was at the point where I was spending an hour every day when I woke up doing nothing but focusing on my breathing while meditating and doing yoga. I'm not at that point anymore, but the things he taught me are lessons I'll definitely keep with me the rest of my life. For that I'm thankful.
Tommy doesn't do much strategy coaching, so I also hired a new betting strategy coach, D_zoo. He is a really excellent coach and I would recommend him to anyone. He has the experience of playing against the best players, and he has the experience of playing for very high stakes. There are few people I've ever received coaching from that have explained certain things to me about the game that I hadn't actually thought of before. I pride myself on being able to think about every conclusion one might be able to come to, or any possible way one might be able to think about the game. And some of the stuff he has shown me are things I just had never really considered, it's been very interesting and very insightful.
Anyways, the point is, I really feel re-generized--like those previous dreams are no longer pipe dreams--that it still can happen. Lately I've been watching a lot of youtube interviews with top poker players. One I recall very well was an interview with Phil Ivey. He said that when he was learning the game, he played 14 hours a day every day for something like 6 years (maybe it was more, I don't remember the exact amount of years). But if I matched the time that I've put into the game compared to him, I've really only put in like 1500 hours total if that (and that's just when he was coming up, not counting all the time he's played since he's been owning). I wasn't lucky enough to play poker in the pre-UIGEA days like many of the top, super rich LP pros. I'm not using it as an excuse for why I'm not better, I'm just using it to justify the fact that I haven't been around long enough and haven't put in enough time to have that kind of success. This only means one thing, I have to keep working, and I have to keep working hard.
If I hadn't purchased that 911 I would be so much further ahead now than I am. I've basically been in financial trouble almost since the day I bought it, constantly needing to cash out and not able to build my roll above 1/2. I definitely won't be making the same mistake this time...This time being the first time since then that I have a decent sample of hands where I'm beating 2/4 for a solid winrate. I definitely won't be cashing out much and am going to be doing everything I can to get myself integrated into the 3/6 games then make that jump to 5/10. My goal is to have taken at least one shot at 5/10 w/ 50k BR by February 2010.
Couple things on the side, I made a series of guest videos for Cardrunners in attempts to get some kind of attention from the site and hopefully get a deal to do coaching, but that's seeming less and less likely since the last time Taylor responded to me was about a month and a half ago. Because I wanted to continue doing coaching and did want to make more videos, I connected with a small training website called grinderschool.com. It's a site that focuses on micro stakes mostly--but that's fine with me because I doubt I could coach any higher than 1/2nl at this point in my career. I've made a couple videos for them, a 50nl and 100nl, then a bunch of leakfinders and a coaching series. If you are interested in receiving coaching I have room for a few more guys, you can find my info on this site:
http://www.grinderschool.com/grinders...poker-strategy-private-coaching.shtml
I like the idea of helping other people and definitely want coaching to continue to be a part of my poker career. There isn't a whole ton of redeeming value to playing poker, but in coaching, at least you get the satisfaction of helping someone else improve their game, which is nice.
So here's the results that inspired this post and the reason I think I need to continue to push on:
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| | Last edit: 05/11/2009 21:57 |
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ggplz Sweden. Nov 05 2009 19:22. Posts 16784 | | | |
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| if poker is dangerous to them i would rank sports betting as a Kodiak grizzly bear who smells blood after you just threw a javelin into his cub - RaiNKhAN | |
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DooMeR United States. Nov 05 2009 19:32. Posts 8562 | | |
if that is BIGbets per 100. i think ur retarded to think anyone has higher stats than that long term at mid stakes. seriously sell ur car, get rid of all those useless expenses and and move up and do ur thing. |
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| I just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance, by running away from the scene of an accident. | |
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very impressive to take tommy angelo coaching and working on meditation and yoga and stuff. that sounds like a great way to show you're serious about improving both your game and your life and i wish you nothing but the best. |
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surely looks like big bets / 100 |
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Maynard! United States. Nov 05 2009 19:56. Posts 4453 | | |
This is the car that all poker players should drive (sans players who have made at least 1 million). I'm going to get a used one around April/May.
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| Now I really am a busto. Thanks FTP. | Last edit: 05/11/2009 19:58 |
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thumbz555 United States. Nov 05 2009 20:07. Posts 3281 | | |
Is that a camry? Lolz. Celica > Camry. |
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whamm! Albania. Nov 05 2009 20:08. Posts 11625 | | |
keep the car and remember what not to do again. selling it now would be one step backwards imo. live with your mistakes and just move on and do what you have to do to get past that. gl man |
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Maynard! United States. Nov 05 2009 21:07. Posts 4453 | | |
[x] +1 on keeping car. You already made the purchase every single one of us wants to make but cannot afford. Take very good care of it and it should last for a very long time. Its doubtful that you can afford something like that again until you're in your 30s.
I googled corolla. That shound be one of those. |
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| Now I really am a busto. Thanks FTP. | Last edit: 05/11/2009 21:37 |
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VeGeTTa89 United States. Nov 05 2009 21:46. Posts 104 | | |
i read your blog and i admire your determination. you are playing at a level that many people only dream about. gl |
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MARSHALL28 United States. Nov 05 2009 21:54. Posts 1904 | | |
| | On November 05 2009 18:32 DooMeR wrote:
if that is BIGbets per 100. i think ur retarded to think anyone has higher stats than that long term at mid stakes. seriously sell ur car, get rid of all those useless expenses and and move up and do ur thing. |
I guess I'm retarded because I think 3-4BB/100 is definitely sustainable for me, and I am pretty confident that quite a bit higher is sustainable for others.
--Just because no one is beating 2/4 for more than 4 over a large sample doesn't mean no one is capable of it. Those who are capable of it have just moved up and play higher stakes. |
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palak United States. Nov 05 2009 22:07. Posts 4601 | | | |
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| dont tap the glass...im about ready to take a fucking hammer to the aquarium | |
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Baalim Mexico. Nov 05 2009 22:42. Posts 34305 | | |
Well you were a huge retard not long ago, it seems that poker has made you mature in many ways, congratulations on that.
If you wish before u move to 1knl, i could coach you. |
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| Ex-PokerStars Team Pro Online | |
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PanoRaMa United States. Nov 05 2009 23:24. Posts 1655 | | |
gl marshall, you've definitely shown some improvement in your maturity overall like baal says. |
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| http://panorama.liquidpoker.net | |
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United States. Nov 05 2009 22:00. Posts 2598
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