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RiKD    United States. Oct 07 2019 23:17. Posts 5646
I suppose I am not miserable or depressed. Perhaps disengaged or alienated. I am not sure how to fix this. I have my books but I don't always feel like reading. I am currently slogging through a Todd May book where he is thinking about how to counter Camus' silent universe. It's not really all that convincing or enjoyable to read. Of course, I am re-reading "Infinite Jest" like I mention at every opportunity which is fantastic. I'm so smart for reading such a long, complicated book. I think it's more I am just so excited about this piece of literature I just want to talk about it and have no one to discuss it with.

One thing Todd May talks about is thinking deeper which means thinking slower. I am not even sure if I know what that means but I know it probably doesn't mean to scarf it down mindlessly like one would a Big Mac, Coke, and french fries. One has to linger, give it some time. As Byung-Chul Han would discuss there can be a scent to time. Let it breathe. Let it linger. Both Byung-Chul Han and Aristotle say the greatest good is to linger contemplatively. I don't know if we need to go that far. But there is certainly value there especially if one is contemplating things anyway.

I have been thinking a lot about what would bring me more joy? What would engage me in life? What would make me feel less alienated?

Friends is probably the first choice. Or just connection to people. God, we have certainly been through this before......

My therapist suggested that I try online dating. I told her I had no interest in Tinder. She was saying as we get older with the things we are avoiding the circuits in the brain get stronger and it becomes more and more difficult to expose ourself to the stimuli. I believe that dating and making friends gets more difficult as we get older to boot. So, I am kind of up against a lot. She was like fuck that just trial it out and see what happens. Dance with life!

Does anyone on here have experience with non Tinder/Bumble dating sites? I've heard of OKCupid. That's the only one that comes to mind.

I talked about how when I had any success in dating I had money, status, and was drinking a lot in my twenties. Now, I am a poor, sober leftist nobody 35 year old. I am attracted to the 24-28 hot little numbers even if in most cases we wouldn't be very compatible. I need a certain level of beauty. At least it feels that way. And that's not just tied into some 28 year old blonde with big tits. I just have to find some beauty in the person. Many times that's hard to do with just a profile to look at.

All the women I have slept with or dated had a certain beauty to them. I don't know where I stand today. Like, if I have to settle and date fat women, single moms, cougars. In today's late stage capitalism with many following suit I am a bit of a leper. I am not "supposed" to be in medical debt living with my parents. And it doesn't seem fair. I live a morally good life but perhaps not a meaningful life and I wouldn't say I live a beautiful life. When I am painting I live a beautiful life. When I am contemplating philosophy I am living a beautiful life. My life would certainly be more exciting if I were dating. Oh well, I am eating dinner soon. I will certainly continue to think deeply or rather think slowly on these topics. To linger contemplatively. Vida contemplativa . It's the only way I know.



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PoorUser    United States. Oct 09 2019 00:49. Posts 7399

on the great dating debate:
it sounds like there is some level of resistance but when stuff like this comes up i just sorta think - well what is there to lose? the (reasonable) worst case scenario just seems like you invest some time making a profile, message girls, hear nothing back/go on a few uninteresting dates. potential upside is you get a gf or maybe even better yet a buddy. i'm assuming the upsides are things you're looking for from past blogs and when you weigh the two it seems to be large upside vs minimal downside, even if percentage of likeliness skews towards the downside. it seems like you have some availability timewise so i assume the opportunity cost of that vs another venture isn't currently high.

i was on OKC for a while. it was a generally good experience. general online dating stereotypes apply (better profile pictures will get a higher rate of responses from girls than anything else, girls will be inundated with messages and you'll likely receive few, etc) but i found that there was a bit longer vetting process on average and some actual emphasis placed on the conversation relative to tinder (i think match is similar to OKC too). if you're ambivalent about being in the superficial online dating world and being limited on funds and sober, i would just genuinely be honest about it in your profile. you write well so im sure you can figure that out while being tactful and not a huge bummer. im sure that will limit the pool for you (if your reticent about online dating then i suspect that's not a huge deal to you) but on the plus side it will filter out a lot of people that are hmmm....better off filtered out. but still, rather just be upfront about it than have the same grating conversation date after date.

also re: class of girls. maybe this was vegas specific due to programs out there but a not small amount of the girls on OKC were nurses since they led busy lives and didnt have most nights free to go out. i talked to some pretty cool people in that demo. probably other similar jobs that have a lot of interesting people that can't go out regularly during city life.

Moneys gotta go in here 

RiKD    United States. Oct 09 2019 18:29. Posts 5646


  On October 08 2019 23:49 PoorUser wrote:
on the great dating debate:
it sounds like there is some level of resistance but when stuff like this comes up i just sorta think - well what is there to lose? the (reasonable) worst case scenario just seems like you invest some time making a profile, message girls, hear nothing back/go on a few uninteresting dates. potential upside is you get a gf or maybe even better yet a buddy. i'm assuming the upsides are things you're looking for from past blogs and when you weigh the two it seems to be large upside vs minimal downside, even if percentage of likeliness skews towards the downside. it seems like you have some availability timewise so i assume the opportunity cost of that vs another venture isn't currently high.



This is pretty spot on. Yes, I would like a girlfriend or a buddy. I am not interesting in being a pick up artist or a player. Not to say I would be against casual sex at any point in the dating timeline but I am not looking for notches in my bedpost. And yes I typically have the time to date although not usually on the weekend.


  i was on OKC for a while. it was a generally good experience. general online dating stereotypes apply (better profile pictures will get a higher rate of responses from girls than anything else, girls will be inundated with messages and you'll likely receive few, etc) but i found that there was a bit longer vetting process on average and some actual emphasis placed on the conversation relative to tinder (i think match is similar to OKC too). if you're ambivalent about being in the superficial online dating world and being limited on funds and sober, i would just genuinely be honest about it in your profile. you write well so im sure you can figure that out while being tactful and not a huge bummer. im sure that will limit the pool for you (if your reticent about online dating then i suspect that's not a huge deal to you) but on the plus side it will filter out a lot of people that are hmmm....better off filtered out. but still, rather just be upfront about it than have the same grating conversation date after date.

also re: class of girls. maybe this was vegas specific due to programs out there but a not small amount of the girls on OKC were nurses since they led busy lives and didnt have most nights free to go out. i talked to some pretty cool people in that demo. probably other similar jobs that have a lot of interesting people that can't go out regularly during city life.



I'm glad you mention what you mention. That's the key really being honest without being a bummer. These are all things I've thought about but it's nice to see someone else put them in writing.

We'll have to see here. Nurses are a great demo though.

Thank you for your post.


RiKD    United States. Oct 09 2019 18:55. Posts 5646

Todd May posits that there is meaning in life in the form of narrative values (of meaning). These could be things like courage, steadfastness, intensity, intellectual curiosity, etc. It isn't binary meaning there can be degrees of narrative meaning and differing degrees of more than one. Jimmy Hendricks for example led an intense life. Going to a Jimmy Hendricks concert while it may feel intense is could not be valued as an intense life. Similarly to watching MMA or NFL. One can be happy without having meaning. One can have meaning and not be happy. Morality plays a role as well. One can be moral but not happy or have any meaning. Narrative values can actually be negative if one is evil/immoral. A Nazi officer who is very high in intensity as a narrative value is not a good thing. If he is intense in murdering Jews that is not meaning.

The last sentences in the book were basically that he has nothing to combat Camus' silent universe but that narrative values account for something right? I mean they have to account for something don't they? Seriously, guys I just wrote a whole book about it.

I think I am with Camus. Just stare the absurdity in the face and live life. Don't worry about meaning worry about joy. I can imagine Sisyphus as happy but that isn't my first inclination.


RiKD    United States. Oct 11 2019 03:26. Posts 5646

I am back on Tinder.... What am I doing?

What am I doing with my life?

I have 9 new matches and I don't know if I have any intentions of talking to any of these women or going on any dates.

I'm reading "Fatal Strategies" by Jean Baudrillard. It was a suggestion from my man Rick Roderick way back figured I'd get to it now. I have been enjoying the philosophy I have been reading lately. This is no different but it can be a bit dense and ridiculous at times. Ridiculous in both good and bad ways. I laughed out loud when I read about the obese expanding until they form clones.

This is what Denis Dutton had to say about the man:

"Some writers in their manner and stance intentionally provoke challenge and criticism from their readers. Others just invite you to think. Baudrillard's hyperprose demands only that you grunt wide-eyed or bewildered assent. He yearns to have intellectual influence, but must fend off any serious analysis of his own writing, remaining free to leap from one bombastic assertion to the next, no matter how brazen. Your place is simply to buy his books, adopt his jargon, and drop his name wherever possible."

Hah. Jean Baudrillard is so Jean Baudrillard he's too Jean Baudrillard. Hyper-Baudrillard. I read Jean Baudrillard because I'm a Big Brain and find Jean Baudrillard to be so Jean Baudrillard to be fascinating. Jean Baudrillard!

More Derrida is probably next but he is a bit of a ridiculous person too.

I actually feel for Jordan B Peterson. I mostly stay away from benzos. I take Ativan when I am manic but that is about it. Having anxiety and being dependent on benzos is not a good idea. Neither is eating only meat. Jordan B Peterson has a lot of bad ideas.

I like Russell Brand but I saw recently he is having Deepak Chopra on his channel which seems kind of cringey.

I think I will take Baudrillard as a life coach over these other gentlemen.

I mean that's what I'm really doing when I am reading these thinkers right?

I am attempting to learn about life. LIFE as the blog title suggests.


dnagardi   Hungary. Oct 12 2019 11:04. Posts 1633


"I am attempting to learn about life"

isnt this we are all doing, always


RiKD    United States. Oct 13 2019 00:51. Posts 5646

"all doing, always"

No, I don't think so.

Maybe you. Maybe many on this site but all doing, always. No.

I may watch House Hunters International with my mom under some guise of learning about the world, about real estate prices, etc. but it's really just me kind of zonking out for a bit in this existence. The same could be said for scrolling popular reddit. If I woke up with a good newspaper before spending 8 hours in a biology lab and then spending my evenings in conversation with people and reading philosophy it may be true. I'd say the biggest hindrance for me is sleeping too much, taking naps, watching tv, scrolling through the internet.

You really think someone like Donald Trump is attempting to learn about life? He already has a worldview and he seems to just try to exploit that as much as he can for himself.


RiKD    United States. Oct 13 2019 02:16. Posts 5646

I think a lot of people are attracted to Donald Trump. I have said before that I read and took notes on one of his books something like THINK BIG AND KICK ASS. That was a confused portion of my life but I thought I was "learning about life" at the time. I mean I was all about Lil' Wayne's message as well "Get money, fuck bitches." It's just a popular distortion of reality and caused me a lot of problems. If I would have read some Seneca at that age it would have done a lot more for me. The sad thing is I'm pretty sure THINK BIG AND KICK ASS was tied into MLM schemes as well. It's just branding and exploitation. Two things Trump is very good at. I can't believe that lying and manipulating every situation for oneself is the way to live life. I trust Kant on these matters.


Spitfiree   Bulgaria. Oct 14 2019 09:27. Posts 8843


  On October 12 2019 10:04 dnagardi wrote:

"I am attempting to learn about life"

isnt this we are all doing, always



If that were true the world would be much less violent


 



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