I am back on a Radiohead tangent. I was completely transcended by "Hail to the Thief" today. I was in the perfect mood for it plus I have not listened to it in a while. I was reliving my first listen, my first loves, while finding a new experience of joy, reverie, and liberation. By the time I got to Myxomatosis I might as well have been on another planet. They seduced me. I was the cobra in the basket. Sometimes it feels good to be a slave. A slave to exquisite seduction. The unblinking eye. I wish to not be in the bondage of self. Take me away. Take me away.
I am not sure if it is obvious but I am fixated with France, French culture, French language, French cuisine, French women. I am unsure if the last sentence will be related to anything I just wanted to make that confession.
I may come back to that but something else that I have been thinking about lately is cars. It relates to a video I was watching on the difference between France and America. The observation was that France was full of the same car usually a Peugot. The streets are lined with these small, reasonable cars. That was also something I noticed when I was there. I think most Americans would be appalled by the idea that everyone drives the same car. I am appalled by large SUVs and trucks. Just in the sense of a certain gaudiness to it. Here in America we celebrate our freedom with automobile grandeur. I guess it is also a celebration of capitalism, the steel industry, advertising, and herd culture. I have had 3 cars in my life: A used Hyundai Elantra, a Chevy Equinox that was a company car, and now a used Subaru Forester that was given to me. All pretty reasonable cars. I could understand a soccer mom wanting the Chevy Equinox over the Renault Clio IV. One thing I do not really get though is that from my experience there just is not that much difference between better than a junk car and below say a nice Porsche or other unique sports car. If we are going for status with maybe also fun to drive I do see the value in some of these cars. Even when I was younger my friend had a BMW M3 Sport and certainly in Wisconsin there was value to perceived status. That is kind of getting into the whole social hierarchy games. I think it is possible to choose who we play games with or to outright reject it but social hierarchies do exist. What I am saying is there were popular social spheres in Wisconsin where having a BMW M3 Sport was a good play. I got to drive it a fair amount as well and it was exceedingly fun to drive compared to my parents minivan growing up. My neighbor has a beautiful Porsche and I envy him in that regard to a degree. I don't really play in that social sphere anymore but there is a part of me that longs for owning a unique and exceptional sports car. With the BIG automobiles I think it is a matter of there being a certain audacity to it. An audacity inline with much of AMERICAN nationalism. Many of the license plates here have a big "IN GOD WE TRUST" centered with a large AMERICAN flag to the left. It's like where am I living? What am I doing?
I think where the fixation in France comes in is I wish to live there. I wish to read Flaubert and Cioran in French. That is an occupation that strikes me whenever any related topics come up. I will seriously look into learning French as I see that as how I would like to be spending some of my time.
Fuck. Private 1 hour classes are $35. I forgot I wasn't in Argentina ($6-10/hr). Maybe I should do group classes at the start to meet people anyway. Ugh, this is hopeless. I am never going to learn French taking 1 group class a week. Maybe if I do Duolingo for an hour everyday.
I have never been to Montreal and in my life was conditioned to have a bias against French Canadiens. I was conditioned against French people too but I have been there and loved it and loved the people. I could see the same happening on a trip to Quebec. Not a bad suggestion.
Kaytranada's from Montreal. Few bring me rapture like Kaytranada:
Loco is from Montreal I think. I have some other internet friends from there too. More friends than I have here.
I have heard stories of like the French versions of guidos and guidettes in New Jersey overpopulate Montreal. Although to be honest my only real experience is going to New Hampshire and Maine every summer for vacation and Xavier Dolan films. On vacation the French Canadians there were mostly normal folk. Normal folk to chic folk that seemed more or less good mannered. It is a large culturally rich city. It is like I love New York but dislike Wall St. I dislike philistine vulgarianism. Which is what these luxury cars represent. Black BMW and Audi drivers make up quite a community of people. The BMW M3 Sport from above was black but we were young and stupid and quite vulgarian. Young, up and coming punks from poker money it is an easy progression. My friend fit right in lol. Many of us fell victim. I don't think anyone is wearing Christian Audagier in 2017. Maybe in Montreal... The Jersey Shore was a stain on society. Anyone that does both steroids and cocaine is a recipe for disaster. Oh well, I am just writing stuff. I am very likely not going to move to Montreal. It would seem I am stuck here in Charleston for the foreseeable future and I should make the most of it. It is like existence. I was born so might as well do what I can. I am now here with very little money or job prospects in more desirable cities so time to make the most of it.
United States. Jul 16 2017 20:05. Posts 8535
