Getting some thoughts down

The crazy thing is HasanAbi gets 2-3x Madison Square Garden attendance capacity simply doing banal tasks in Rust or shit like opening his mail. I don't know if I'm hating or not. I generally like Hasan it's just kind of mind boggling.

Then there are all the cleavage queens vying for attention.

I don't know man. If I was in shape and had a better dick maybe I'd give OnlyFans a shot. I don't think many people would pay $15/month to watch me jerk off in the shower though. I'd have to work up to fucking dudes probably. I honestly don't know if I would be against that if the money was right but then again I don't want any thicc dick in my ass. I'd probably let Charlotte Sartre peg me for a sum of cash. I'd probably let a girlfriend peg me too if that was her fantasy but I always wondered what that would do to the relationship dynamics. I've been fingered while getting blowjobs which was an interesting and rewarding step to take but dildos are another thing I don't think I want in my ass.

No, I don't think OnlyFans is for me and I don't like this culture of trying to monetize everything and hustle and grind. I went through a phase this year where I was all about doing due diligence and getting as many bets down as possible on BTC and the stock market. The money is clearly better off there than sitting in a checking account. Especially now that the 10% penalty has been taken away on withdrawing from 401ks due to Covid I should probably convert all of that too.

I remember a time when I was winning quite a bit at poker. I paid off my predatory student loans which seemed prudent. I remember I was proud of myself for finding the highest yielding online savings account. I put some money in there and they immediately lowered the yield to barely beating inflation. I read about Roth IRAs and mutual funds. That ended up only making TD Ameritrade rich. Most of the time when I was playing poker I wanted to invest in myself and in poker and not diversify too much into unknown territory. I think that is typically a smart play. In a corporation I guess it's kind of tough to beat a 401k matching program. It fucking sucks to give up that cash to a virtually non-liquid asset now controlled by Fidelity but what are you going to do? At least for me corporate employment was tunnel vision on getting the hierarchy profits so that I could attempt to grasp pleasure off the clock. There was no real time or focus on where I should invest that money. I spent a good chunk of cash on experiences to be sure but much of it just poured out of me to acquire commodities and the hope at grasping some semblance of pleasure. So, I finally said fuck it and did some due diligence and got all the bets down that I could. Time will tell but I'm finally happy with my portfolio. There is always the dream of doing something like this full time but currently I don't have the capital and quite frankly I don't have the confidence yet. Also, I look at someone like Warren Buffet and there is no way I want to read reports for 10 hours a day. It's easy to get caught up in it all and it's fun to attempt to pick winners but at the end of the day I would rather do the appropriate due diligence, get the bets down at a good price, HODL and forget about it. There are much more interesting and important problems in the world than if PLTR will 50x their IPO by whenever.

Sometimes I get these big ideas about entrepreneurship, venture capital, capitalism like I have the probabilistic chances of striking it rich when in reality maybe all I want to do is eat some shrooms and go for a hike in Northern Vermont. I actually think my motives haven't changed since I was on long term disability with no real intentions of going back to work for my large corporate employer at the time in 2014. I would like to figure out ways to reduce existential suffering across the globe. At this point in time climate change seems like the biggest problem on Earth. Another problem is that corporate employment sucks, non-profits are many times not any better, and politics are fucking horrendous. There is no such thing as a professional anarchist.

One thing I would like to do is get to Canada. It's actually harder than you might think. My sister even hired an immigrations lawyer to see if they could do it. I think the best that they could do was to jump through a bunch of hoops and maybe be able to get to Halifax, Nova Scotia and work on a fishing boat or something. Not too promising. Especially when you consider that Nova Scotia will be under water in x years. I think the key is to get to Montreal, Toronto, Vancouver and secure citizenship and then plan out the prepper/permaculture home base wherever makes the most sense. I don't know how much sense it makes or how livable it would actually be at this point to live in the middle of nowhere in Canada but maybe save up for some land and a ranch house when possible. That's actually something I've been studying lately. Where all the billionaires are buying up land and why? Bill Gates recently became the largest agricultural land owner in the USA after buying up a bunch of land in Louisiana, Arkansas, and Nebraska. I haven't done a deep dive on why he did that yet. Jeff Bezos owns a ton of land in West Texas. Again I don't know why?

My mom has a good heart but not only would she vote for people like Hillary Clinton, Nancy Pelosi, and Joe Biden but she actually looks up to these people. Her only sources are People magazine and The New York Times. My dad watches Fox News and talks with his conservative golfing buddies down at the Country Club. I love them both but boomers are the worst.

Yeah, so that's what I am dealing with. How to spend my time, energy, and focus? There are currently no cemeteries near by to where I am living but I have a painting of a flower, a skull, and an hourglass to my right and a skull staring at me on my desk. I don't really think that I am that important but they seem to keep me inline. I've thought about getting really good with solvers and moving to PA to vacuum up future BTC. I'd rather go to Carnegie Melon to learn about cryptography or machine learning. Both of those don't seem that realistic but learning to code un-ironically might be. I have to figure something out. Going back to making 50+ pizzas a day without a break for Jeff Bezos is Level Hellscape.