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RiKD    United States. May 25 2020 03:11. Posts 6314
So, here is my "new" blog?

I might talk about suicidal thoughts, killing Jeff Bezos, and strangling Israelis that exert heinous power over Palestinians, etc. Put the babies to bed.

I quit my job today. That was unpleasant. It still is unpleasant. I wonder when the unpleasantness of it will go away. And now it's time to think about what to do next. I wonder if I'm any good at anything. In the Politics Thread we are talking about how there are no ethical choices under capitalism. Well, sometimes it feels like there are no choices of where to work under capitalism. I am a wage slave getting exploited anyway you cut it. What I feel strongly in my gut at this moment is that I should work towards being an existential psychotherapist. What I feel weakly in my gut is that I should just end it all right now with a sharp knife to the gut. Disembowelment with say a large chef knife would probably do the trick but there are probably better ways to go. It would be nicer to have a #2 on hand to cut my head off to alleviate the suffering. I don't want to kill Jeff Bezos today. I think I would always be down to strangle a corrupt Israeli at least into unconsciousness. I don't actually have any power though. I'm rather benign. My power lies in my connection with leftists in this area which I was at a party where close to all of them in the city showed up and sadly it wasn't much. We did some work on Bernie's campaign, ate vegan BBQ, and shared in discourse. It was a good time and solidarity yeah but on another hand maybe it is kind of depressing that there isn't more of an impact here. Although, I'm not one to talk. I could definitely do more or could I? I am disconnected from my leftist people at the moment. Food Not Bombs is one way to make a difference and connect and it's shut off for me right now. That is the catalyst for everything. The DSA (Democratic Socialists of America) can be too but I am not a Democratic Socialist.

I think at a time about now it's time to read some Schopenhauer. I need a Schopenhauer Cure. Or I don't even know what to read. It feels like I should be spending a lot of time on finding a job. I don't even know what I am doing. From how much time a day to devote to it to even what I am looking for. There is some soul searching to be done for sure. I am just sick of these shit jobs. Running us proletariat ragged for scraps. I feel powerless. I don't know what to do. There is still some joys in life but it feels muted. I just have to carry on like the Stoics. Will this matter in 5 years? I don't know. This fundamental aspect of existence that we need to drink water, eat food, have bowel movements and find something to do within capitalism or die is nauseating.

We'll see. I keep saying just get through the day and get a decent night of sleep. We'll see. We'll see.

We'll see.

I think I will try and paint my emotions right now.

Poop.

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PoorUser    United States. May 25 2020 03:23. Posts 7436

if you ever consider going anywhere in the psych domain, reach out. i'd be happy to help as i can.

i'm a few blogs late but thanks for the fantasy recommendations. you're brother is a G if he's read malazan. that's a 12k page slog. I got about 2k pages through. it was excellent but i had to give up. i'm moving wheel of time up in the queue though. also re: bojack - i think theres no day that fish out of water can't make better.

i know there are some amount of dissenters who read this blog, but im always happy to hear from you. i hope you keep blogging.

Gambler Emeritus 

Baalim   Mexico. May 25 2020 22:52. Posts 33561

You love to dwell on your self pity while blaming others for your misery while doing absolutely nothing to improve your situation and you think that getting along with people who do the same will help.

Ex-PokerStars Team Pro Online 

Loco   Canada. May 25 2020 23:24. Posts 20422


  On May 25 2020 21:52 Baalim wrote:
You love to dwell on your self pity while blaming others for your misery while doing absolutely nothing to improve your situation and you think that getting along with people who do the same will help.



"So much self-pity, Arthur. You sound like you're making excuses for yourself."











Those who make a peaceful revolution impossible, will make a violent revolution inevitable.Last edit: 25/05/2020 23:25

RiKD    United States. May 26 2020 02:42. Posts 6314


  On May 25 2020 02:23 PoorUser wrote:
if you ever consider going anywhere in the psych domain, reach out. i'd be happy to help as i can.



Thank you.


  i'm a few blogs late but thanks for the fantasy recommendations. you're brother is a G if he's read malazan. that's a 12k page slog. I got about 2k pages through. it was excellent but i had to give up. i'm moving wheel of time up in the queue though. also re: bojack - i think theres no day that fish out of water can't make better.



I know he got through Malazan but I think it was mostly or all audiobook. He used to have over an hour commute to work and was grinding Malazan on the regular.

Yeah, I have been grinding Bojack myself pretty hard lately. That episode when he is in rehab and recalling certain moments of his drinking career and at the end of the episode he looks at the vodka in the water bottle and it's the cosmos hit me hard. Such a great show.


  i know there are some amount of dissenters who read this blog, but im always happy to hear from you. i hope you keep blogging.



There will always be haters. Just the way of the world. There's likely no doubt that I will continue to blog if I am compelled to. And considering I am an unemployed guy in a pandemic there are certainly hours in the day for writing stuff on an online message board.

 Last edit: 26/05/2020 02:43

RiKD    United States. May 26 2020 03:29. Posts 6314


  On May 25 2020 21:52 Baalim wrote:
You love to dwell on your self pity while blaming others for your misery while doing absolutely nothing to improve your situation and you think that getting along with people who do the same will help.



I don't blame others. I blame the system of destructive capitalism. And you act like I have been in a permanent state of misery since forever. That is ludicrous. I have had grooves of bliss in quarantine as well as moments of despair. I wouldn't say I've been miserable. I am just a little more down than usual because I am not just in quarantine but now I am unemployed with no real plan. I don't think you really understand my situation. Have you ever had to actually work in your life? The options seem to be either I work a shit job or I somehow figure out how to pay for school for some job that may not exist when I graduate. I educate myself as best as I can on my own. You think I can just put on a suit and get a finance job? That isn't possible nor would I want to do that. I can't un-see what I've seen. My leftist friends are some of the best people I have met and I have met a lot of great people. They help me survive in this world despite what you believe.


Baalim   Mexico. May 26 2020 03:30. Posts 33561


  On May 25 2020 22:24 Loco wrote:
Show nested quote +



"So much self-pity, Arthur. You sound like you're making excuses for yourself."




I remember you giving me a lot of shit about posting joker quotes and now you are the biggest fanboy ever.

Ex-PokerStars Team Pro Online 

Loco   Canada. May 26 2020 04:59. Posts 20422

I'm more of a fan of pointing out how much of a right-wing, "strict father archetype" cliché you are with something that you can easily understand: moving pictures on a screen.

Those who make a peaceful revolution impossible, will make a violent revolution inevitable. 

RiKD    United States. May 26 2020 05:42. Posts 6314

I already have a right-wing "strict father archetype" cliché in the form of the guy who brought me into this existence with out my consent. That is plenty enough as it is!!!


Baalim   Mexico. May 26 2020 06:37. Posts 33561


  On May 26 2020 03:59 Loco wrote:
I'm more of a fan of pointing out how much of a right-wing, "strict father archetype" cliché you are with something that you can easily understand: moving pictures on a screen.



Nah its like the 5th time you've referenced it since it came out, ironic how what you SJWs like yourself tought it would be a fash white cis rage symbol but it became a lefty mentally ill rage symbol.

What is also curious is that in the end Thomas Wayne, the rich, didn't wrong him, it was in fact his relationship with his mother what broke him, does that ring a bell to you, my old friend?

Ex-PokerStars Team Pro Online 

Spitfiree   Bulgaria. May 26 2020 21:20. Posts 9203




  On May 26 2020 05:37 Baalim wrote:
Show nested quote +


What is also curious is that in the end Thomas Wayne, the rich, didn't wrong him, it was in fact his relationship with his mother what broke him, does that ring a bell to you, my old friend?


If that is what you got from the movie... (well Joker didn't even have Batman... and Dark Knight still is on the same point)... then you should probably rewatch it


Malazan books are quite good, I stopped at the 5th one though cause I got a bit bored, will get back to it at some point

 Last edit: 26/05/2020 21:30

Loco   Canada. May 26 2020 22:30. Posts 20422


  On May 26 2020 05:37 Baalim wrote:
Show nested quote +



Nah its like the 5th time you've referenced it since it came out, ironic how what you SJWs like yourself tought it would be a fash white cis rage symbol but it became a lefty mentally ill rage symbol.




I've referenced it 2 times as a response to the victim-blaming you guys are engaging in. I choose it not because it's very meaningful to me, but because it's salient for you guys. I gave the movie 6/10 and openly critiqued the shortcomings of the Joker character being a reactionary/passive nihilist who is not aware that his problem is a political one. If the central message is about mental illness, it certainly isn't about mental illness being inherent in such people; it is brought about by society, which is what you deliberately ignore with all of your cheap talk and "strict father" moralizing about personal responsibility.

Other than that I've only reviewed it in response to your (completely wrong) interpretation of the movie. I wouldn't have bothered otherwise. Here's a reminder with your commentary:



  On September 03 2019 04:21 Baalim wrote:
Many narrowsighted people will think its just a white-guy-to-shooter movie not realizing in its core its an alike process in many hate-driven ideologies like white nationalism, islamism, radical feminism, antifascism why weep for humanity when you can bring it down and rebuilt it anew, the intoxicating scent of anger makes you feel so powerful and driven, it shut downs all the sorrow, all the sadness, insecurities and doubts, the ultimate drug.





  On September 03 2019 05:21 Loco wrote:
There is nothing in Joker that suggests that he had "ultra violent dispositions". His character is represented as someone who was just minding his affairs and who was sublimating/coping largely successfully (nonviolently) despite all of the pressures he was facing throughout all his life, up until he could literally no longer afford to live. What drives him over the edge is not so much the getting beaten up and excluded as the loss of his job and the social programs cuts. Even the therapist--the person whose role it is to act as the last resort when all other support systems fail--is living too precariously and is too depressed to be able to do her job properly. He's also given a gun by someone who doesn't give a shit about him or the kind of trouble he might get into, while he himself is self-aware enough to know that he shouldn't be allowed with a gun.

The point of the movie is clearly the exact opposite of what you say it is. It is meant to show that anyone who is pushed too far for too long in an endlessly heartless and hostile environment will to turn to violence, they don't need to be "predisposed" to it. He wasn't hate-driven; he wanted to do stand up comedy and indiscriminately make everyone laugh. He loved to bring joy to sick children -- the only people that are more vulnerable than him. A hate-driven ideology by definition excludes certain groups of people based on some hierarchical notion. Anti-fascists literally only exist to oppose this logic. It's like saying firefighters and pyromaniacs are driven by the exact same thing. You don't see firefighters where they are no fires, and you don't see anti-fascists where there are no fascists. Even when you disagree with the tactics they use, it doesn't make logical sense to consider anti-fascism a hate-driven ideology when it literally only ever appears in an effort to resist one.

The failure of the Joker character is the failure of his society in maintaining systems of reciprocity and mutual aid all throughout the society. It is the failure of an economic system motivated only by profit-accumulation despite its consequences on the well-being of its members. The Joker character is only made possible through the artificial scarcity that is imposed by the system and the enormous wealth inequality that is maintained and furthered by the social darwinistic forces of such a society.

The revolt we see is one of directionless destruction and decay. It doesn't put forth anything new, and fails to unite people against common threats. This is the greatest failure of the story; it indulges itself into a passive nihilism rather than an active one, or some alternative programs to build something new from the ashes. In other words, the revolt only exists to fortify capitalism and its "all for one" logic. When you have violent revolts without any coherent vision to create something to replace it, it only serves as release valve for the anger of the people within it-- for a little while-- until they are smashed and capitalism assimilates them back.





  What is also curious is that in the end Thomas Wayne, the rich, didn't wrong him, it was in fact his relationship with his mother what broke him, does that ring a bell to you, my old friend?



Your interpretation here is incorrect too. First of all, billionaires like Wayne are directly hurting the poor, even if it isn't done personally. They are the engineers of the society of burn out and austerity that overworks social workers and destroys solidarities, as well as the defunding of social programs. Arthur no longer had his therapist, and could no longer afford his medication. He was able to keep it together prior to this happening. The only reason that this happens is so that more money can be funneled upwards for the ultra rich to gain even more control over society.

As for Wayne's involvement, he did do something personally wrong too. We learn in the movie that he almost certainly did have that affair with Arthur's mother:

"There are too many things in the film that are red flags. First, the fact that she remembers signing papers not to talk about it stands out, as Penny doesn’t really seem like the type to invent the detail of signing an NDA, nor really even understanding the full implications of it.

Second, Alfred at Wayne Manor immediately recognizes Penny’s name and Arthur’s existence, which seems odd for an incident that probably happens 30+ years ago, implying this was probably a huge deal when it happened at the time.

Finally, the photo really seals it for me, the “Thomas Wayne” signature on the back feels like the final clue that this actually did happen and Penny wasn’t making it up. Given how Thomas Wayne is presented in the film, far from the saintly figure you normally see in most Batman stories, I could easily see him sleeping with a pretty young subordinate, getting her pregnant and then wanting nothing to do with any of it, creating this adoption cover-up story, getting her committed to Arkham and using her abusive relationship against her. Essentially she gets totally gaslit by a rich billionaire and his army of fixers who made this go away. To me, in the context of this film, that seems like a much more likely story than “crazy woman thinks billionaire fathered her child for no reason,” especially given some of the aforementioned evidence.

So yes, this would mean that the Joker and Bruce Wayne are half-brothers in this version of the tale, something I don’t think I’ve ever seen in a Batman comic before, which may offend some die-hards, which is why they might choose to dismiss the notion out of hand. But I think with what Joker is saying about the rich and powerful and their control over Gotham and its citizens, the “correct” interpretation of this tale is that Thomas Wayne really did the bad thing and gaslit Penny. And then Arthur believes the lie and kills his own mother, even if she really was telling the truth the whole time. Tragic."

https://www.forbes.com/sites/paultass...wayne-question-in-joker/#773443ee12b7

Those who make a peaceful revolution impossible, will make a violent revolution inevitable.Last edit: 27/05/2020 01:34

Baalim   Mexico. May 28 2020 06:27. Posts 33561


  On May 26 2020 20:20 Spitfiree wrote:

If that is what you got from the movie... (well Joker didn't even have Batman... and Dark Knight still is on the same point)... then you should probably rewatch it


Malazan books are quite good, I stopped at the 5th one though cause I got a bit bored, will get back to it at some point



yeah I'll give the fighting with Loco a rest for a few weeks

Ex-PokerStars Team Pro Online 

CurbStomp   Finland. May 28 2020 07:53. Posts 93

This guy has the work ethic of a 13 year old. He rather paint his emotions.
Having a job is the number 1 best thing for mentally ill people after medication.

Ask not what your country can do for you – ask what you can do for your countryLast edit: 28/05/2020 08:20

Liquid`Drone   Norway. May 28 2020 18:28. Posts 2941

I also thought that while the movie wasn't fully conclusive, thomas wayne being the dad seemed more likely than not, it certainly didn't conclude that his side of the story was true.

lol POKER 

Spitfiree   Bulgaria. May 29 2020 14:17. Posts 9203


  On May 28 2020 06:53 CurbStomp wrote:
This guy has the work ethic of a 13 year old. He rather paint his emotions.
Having a job is the number 1 best thing for mentally ill people after medication.



Said by a dude either:
1) was banned (you have to be quite special to get banned on a forum where there's constant ad hominem that flies freely)
2) is too afraid to post on his own account on an internet forum


You must be some kind of an expert


CurbStomp   Finland. May 29 2020 14:42. Posts 93


  On May 29 2020 13:17 Spitfiree wrote:
Show nested quote +



Said by a dude either:
1) was banned (you have to be quite special to get banned on a forum where there's constant ad hominem that flies freely)
2) is too afraid to post on his own account on an internet forum


You must be some kind of an expert


I probably know more than you about rehabilitation of the mentally ill since I'm a recovered schizophrenic and I've been through that. Having a job is incredibly crucial part of mental well being and that's the main focus after medication, at least here in Finland. I can for a fact say that capitalism is not to blame for mental illness lol.

edit: Baal banned me for making a joke about him being white supremacist.

Ask not what your country can do for you – ask what you can do for your countryLast edit: 29/05/2020 15:16

Loco   Canada. May 29 2020 23:31. Posts 20422

Being mentally ill or having recovered from a mental illness doesn't make you an authority on the broad and extremely complex field of mental health, and it doesn't qualify you to give competent advice on what people should/shouldn't do; especially when the mental illnesses of the person differ from yours. Using your own experience to invalidate that of others is the first sign that no one should actually listen to you. The second sign is saying that you "know for a fact" something that you are quite obviously ignorant about is false when there is overwhelming evidence to the contrary. Third sign is using someone's artistic outlet to shame them.

Must be nice to live in one of the countries with the best social safety net in the world and be a capitalist apologist. It's like being put through ivy league schools and given a few million dollars to start a business by wealthy parents and then looking down on people from a different a socio-economic class and thinking they're just dumb and lazy for not being where you are.


Yeah, having a job helps with mental health a lot of the times, because we live in a capitalist society where if you are without a job you can't meet your basic needs, and unemployment is socially shamed and alienating. Most people have internalized this shame along side with the religious, Protestantism-derived concept of the work ethic, and the idea that we ought to contribute to society, even when that society doesn't care whatsoever about our well-being and it is as a whole degenerative.

But it's also true that the work itself can be a source of shame for many people (see David Graeber's work on "Bullshit Jobs'') and depression, even more so for those who aren't neurotypical.

Those who make a peaceful revolution impossible, will make a violent revolution inevitable.Last edit: 29/05/2020 23:48

CurbStomp   Finland. May 30 2020 10:44. Posts 93

Its true that we shame people who abuse our generous welfare system. We call them rats. Shaming is an effective way of making them seek different kind of lifestyle.

Living on benefits feeds depression because you are not part of society and therefore rats feel worthless.

I wouldn't shame Rikd if he wasn't capable of working due to his illness, but that doesn't seem to be the case. He's just constantly complaining that the whole concept of working is bullshit and that he is somehow oppressed by capitalism. It very much seems to me that he's stuck on some teenage angst in this thirties.

Also, I just repeat what mental health professionals have told me and how this system has been working effectively for a very long time. Just because he has different illness than mine doesn't mean that working isn't good for him lol. Never have i heard a psychiatrist curse that damn capitalism for making people bipolar. The percentage of mentally ill is the absolutely same regardless if you are in States or in generous Finland.

Ask not what your country can do for you – ask what you can do for your country 

PoorUser    United States. May 30 2020 23:53. Posts 7436


  On May 28 2020 06:53 CurbStomp wrote:
Having a job is the number 1 best thing for mentally ill people after medication.


This may be your experience but I can tell you this is the not the blanket consensus of the field. It certainly is helpful for some people, some percent of the time. But that varies by person, culture, job and disorder. It's worth pointing out that for schizophrenia specifically, most people in the field argue that the "number 1 best thing" (after medication probably) is to find yourself in an environment low in expressed emotion from others (note - high EE refers to overinvolvement from caregivers, shaming person for illness, etc; and does not refer to the ability to express emotions well [annoyingly named variable]). High EE tends to be the most robust predictor of relapse for those with schizophrenia.


  The percentage of mentally ill is the absolutely same regardless if you are in States or in generous Finland.


I can't speak for USA v Finland specifically, but this is generally not true from country to country. You see varying net prevalence of mental disorders from different countries. This happens for tons of reasons. One worth looking at relative to your post is SES. In the USA, and most other countries too, you see higher prevalence of certain mental disorders at differing SES levels. There's a lot to unpack in that alone, but it should immediately make one consider the impact that one's job has on one's mental health.

Also of note, even when countries have similar total percentages of mental illness, the proportion of those mental illnesses still differ from country to country. There are a not small amount of psychological disorders that only appear in certain cultures as well (e.g. ataque de nervios, taijin kyofusho).

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