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LP is my shoulder to cry on, again. Thx

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Nitewin   United States. Jun 07 2015 02:25. Posts 1539
God. I'm like in a maze that I can't get out. I'm going in circles and not feeling fulfilled with life.


I wake up and do things I don't care about. My days pass by. I'm feeling empty inside. I got a girlfriend for two years that made the emptiness go away. She left me and now it's back. WTF. I want friends and life experiences. I had that when I was younger but ever since I started playing poker, I felt like making money was better than spending time elsewhere. I used to make solid solid money. Now it's okay... still better than an entry level job, but I'm starting to wonder more there is to life. My lifestyle is non-existent. Should I move to a city and know no one and start over? Like... fuck. Only people I know right now are my parents, my friends from school that kind of have their own lives now. My ex that I keep texting with no response. I'm almost 28... :X


I think eating and exercising is huge in mood improvement. Let me add that I'm pretty bad socially so I don't get out often. I'm just craving that human contact. For whatever reason I don't feel it with my parents, only with my GF. Man..... any words of wisdom for me? AGAIN. Haha

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Nitewin   United States. Jun 07 2015 02:38. Posts 1539

I'm prob not that bad socially as I make myself out to be. I'm just an introvert that's all.


devon06atX   Canada. Jun 07 2015 03:06. Posts 5458

I'd recommend getting a job. Ever since I started working, I appreciate my time off once again. Plus the social aspect is great, you'll meet all kinds of people. Since I'm always going out, I pick up new groceries from time to time and try new things to eat.

It'll get you out anyway.


Nitewin   United States. Jun 07 2015 03:09. Posts 1539

What kind of job? Do I move to the city to get a job? I'm approved for UBER, the smartphone taxi service, you work your own hours and it's sort of like poker, about $20 an hour pretax, pre-expenses in the city. Does that count? I currently live in a small ass town but I'm kinda scared to move because I'm not good at making friends. New place is scary you know. I'm really close to pulling the trigger though. I have many side projects going on in my life, my mind is a mess.


CamilaPunt   Brasil. Jun 07 2015 03:59. Posts 2422

start doing something else as a hobby enter a course do crossfit or something - thats a beginning you need to get out and do something


whamm!   Albania. Jun 07 2015 05:18. Posts 11625

If you're in a place that you were born in, I'd say the best would be to move (judging from your post). It seems you've outgrown your old self but did not do via the regular channels like meeting new people IRL, you did it thru poker and LP/2p2/skype. I think moving into a new place makes self discovery very easy, being close to your folks seems comfortable but it does hold you back by a lot.


Nitewin   United States. Jun 07 2015 05:23. Posts 1539

My girlfriend is seeing old rich men for money. It makes me want to tear my heart out. Yeah... I don't know what there is for me here.


hiems   United States. Jun 07 2015 08:01. Posts 2979

Yeah a job isn't going to be "the change" or whatever. I mean it's still really important so your probably going to have to work on that (making a living) with most of your time and will probably have bearing on your mind and identity. Things like relocating or exercise might help but i would guess aren't going to be some magic solution.

Imo consciously allocate some effort in working on your personal philosophy as the ultimate gto. To start you can draw inspiration from whatever source.. doesn't really have to be big hitters of hardcore philosophy like sartre Dostoevsky or Buddha or some crazy shit it can be in the form of literature (claasic or.modern), film, tv, news, music, or everyday life whatever floats your boat and you don't have to exactly be like Loco on this board not to mention that the content does not have to be especially well reviewed or some fancy art house shit (though theres nothing wrong with that) and the people you draw inspiration from do not have to be especially successful...Also, feel free to disagree with the writer/author/thesis, have your own opinions. Cliffnotes, Audiobooks, Wikipedia are all ok. And you know, just make an effort to meditate I guess to build on your findings and find a way to implement them don't have to be dhalsim style but perhaps can be when you wake up, are driving, doing dishes, whatever.

What you decide to do with all that is going to be up to you ultimately..whether you are optimist existentialist pragmatist etc how your outlook on women/relationships will look like in the future, etc. you are you.

Also op should know im def not perfect either while saying all of this but I do believe this is the best longterm baseline approach. Just try your best and work on it over time.

I beat Loco!!! [img]https://i.imgur.com/wkwWj2d.png[/img]Last edit: 07/06/2015 09:23

NewbSaibot   United States. Jun 07 2015 09:02. Posts 4943


  On June 07 2015 02:59 CamilaPunt wrote:
start doing something else as a hobby enter a course do crossfit or something - thats a beginning you need to get out and do something



This. My girlfriend just made friends with a new hire who relocated from out of state to take this job. She went online to some board games forum or something and found local couples in our area that like playing monopoly or whatever. Sounded silly but apparently she made a bunch of new friends through that and now she's set. Join crossfit, join ultimate frisbee club, look for local home poker games, etc. Just chill and hang out with new people.

bye now 

Daut    United States. Jun 07 2015 10:30. Posts 8955

no one thing will end your depression or funk. but here are some tips:

-start exercising and if you aren't already, eating healthy.
-drive your uber a few hours a week, don't force conversation with the people you drive, but try and let it flow naturally and ask them questions about themselves and don't talk about yourself unless they ask. try and be interested in getting to know different people even if only for a few minutes and it will improve any awkwardness you feel. and you will make extra money on the side
-download the app "Headspace". Meditation is really useful and will allow you to deal with stressful thoughts and feelings much better.
-once you start feeling a little more confident about yourself, start online dating. important for you to meet people and try to find someone new who isn't going to make you feel awful

and +1 to others who said join a club of some sort. will help you meet people and you'll be doing something other than sitting at home with your parents

NewbSaibot: 18 TIMES THE SPEED OF LIGHT. Because FUCK YOU, DautLast edit: 07/06/2015 10:32

LemOn[5thF]   Czech Republic. Jun 07 2015 10:33. Posts 15163

This podcast
https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/menprovement-podcast-self/id914595630?mt=2
+ Paul McKenna is probably all you need.

(to know where to direct your efforts towards)

Especially 19 - the one on build confidence and crush social anxiety - I've heard it some 10 times

This year I've spent countless hours on being just okay with who I am, feeling through emotion (see Myblog) in life and poker and also with women some of those podcasts are a good start.

93% Sure! Last edit: 07/06/2015 11:44

Nitewin   United States. Jun 07 2015 15:20. Posts 1539

Thanks for the advice LP!! You guys never let me down. My spirits are lifted a bit, it's time to get started!


Twisted    Netherlands. Jun 07 2015 17:30. Posts 10422

Sounds like you just need a job.

I don't think you'll join clubs/do crossfit/start excercising/eating healthy. They are great tips, but when you are depressed it's not good advice because you won't do all that stuff. Getting a job however is something you can focus on. Don't try to call it demeaning because it's 'entry-level' or focus at all on salary. Just focus on improving your skillset (work-related and personal, like communicating with peers). Did you study anything? Try finding a job in that. The taxi thing doesn't sound great at all to me.

Getting a job gives purpose to what you're doing with your time and it makes free time more valuable/exciting. It also makes sure that you actually have incentive to go (because your job/boss requires you to go). That'll eat at your free-time but that's probably a good thing for you. Sounds like you need structure/standard rythm and a job gives you that.

 Last edit: 07/06/2015 17:34

ClouD87   Italy. Jun 07 2015 18:06. Posts 524

I really got out of my depression when I started getting into self development. If you give yourself a new range of tools and hopes for yourself you will have something else to do other than worry about stuff. Meditation helps a lot too.


Nitewin   United States. Jun 07 2015 18:56. Posts 1539

I actually did crossfit on my own for about 4 months. Then I went traveling for my (ex) girlfriend and stopped. I'm pretty in shape and I eat healthy too. I don't like the idea of an entry level job because it's very low EV. You're trading your time for structure and low pay in hope for meaning in life. I think meaning can be found elsewhere, like doing independent reading or a hobby. I think change is the first thing I need so I've decided to move out of my parents home and into the city. Then we'll see what happens. I'll update you guys with my blog when it happens.


Cloud, what kind of self-development? I'd like to know more about the range of tools you use. I've heard good things about meditation and always wanted to try it. It's hard to start. But I downloaded the app Daut suggested and I'll be sure to use it.


bigredhoss   Cook Islands. Jun 07 2015 19:00. Posts 8648

if i'm stressed i lay down, close my eyes and listen to this, usually feel like a million bucks afterwards, ymmv:



listened to a few of his other videos but for whatever reason they didn't do much for me

Truck-Crash Life 

dogmeat   Czech Republic. Jun 07 2015 19:00. Posts 6374

woman is just an accessory...

ban baal 

JohnnyBologna   United States. Jun 07 2015 20:02. Posts 1401

im going to say this as nicely as possible without trying to hurt your feelings, your a bitch. Your in the prime of your youth and you got money without any obligations anymore. the world is yours.

some advice, don't force anything that isnt natural. get another girl friend or play around with more girls, just don't get all clingy like you did with your ex.
Being clingy is a sign of insecurity and a huge turn off, have some confidence in yourself ffs. girls want a man that will pay for all their shit and bang the crap out of them that is all.

you have too much money? go buy a nice ass car and house. that will keep you busy while you try to make more money.

you have a second chance or a fresh start, a new beginning. many people would kill for this.

Just do whats right 

Mortensen8   Chad. Jun 07 2015 20:06. Posts 1841

Here's my tips

Make sure you make your own food and get a shit ton more vegetables, fruit than you think example: spinach, rocket, cucumber, lemon, pepper huge bowl and way easier to eat than it looks... pepper because it helps your body get more nutrients out of it.

Drink clean water a lot of brands in america are very acidic and essentially just tap water do some research

I have never tried to meditate but here is my opinion on it. People think they can just start meditating and it will solve everything, the new age movement is very shallow mostly a self love movement. I think instead of just jumping into meditation just start reading philosophy I really like western philosophy this is the part of the world I am from and there has always been a different mindset of east vs west.The act of reading a very difficult book and understanding it is just as good as meditation if not better. When I read or hear a the new age stuff it's just garbage and very simplistic.
The act of thinking is not a bad thing, thinking can actually be a form of meditation. I'm not saying meditation is entirely bad but I think you need to develop your mental state first to a very high level before just meditating and there are ways of meditating with thoughts. I am also wary of anyone trying to control my meditation you are very suggestible in such a state.

Stop masturbating. I don't care if mainstream science says it is healthy. The act of masturbating to pornography where you are watching another man fuck a woman and becoming some cuckold can't be good not to mention the increasing perversion required to get off. Not masturbating is one the the most difficult acts of self control and therefore beneficial since it teaches you self control. I know you guys will pull up that study about prostate cancer but my body naturally gets rid of it in my sleep. It's good motivation for getting a girlfriend too.

Start working out.

Get outside more. Get a hobby like bushcraft or whatever and get away from the computer more often.

Stop feeling sorry for yourself, life is supposed to be a challenge and you should see everything this way you are way more fortunate than you think.

Rear naked wokeLast edit: 07/06/2015 20:13

Nitewin   United States. Jun 07 2015 20:08. Posts 1539

you're*

I agree Johnny and no feelings hurt. I never said I had too much money though. I'm actually low on funds right now. Also, me being natural is being on the computer not talking to anyone all day. I've got a ways to go.


 
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