Posted a poem LOLOL (short)

In before ridicule/defense

PS: I used to write short poems in my notebook and bought poetry books in my earlier University days lol~

ridicule is fine esp if its warranted, gotta get toughened up incase I ever decide to goto an open mic

I actually liked it, good energy and passion. A lot of poems I feel are a bit contrived, and the speaker is simply mimicking what they saw on HBO one night or something, trying to look all deep and emotional with their awkward cadence and emphasis on random words half way through a sentence. But yours actually sounded natural. Maybe you were forgetting what to say, which is good because it made you have to remember, the way a real person talks

oh man.. youll probably regret this in the morning, you high bro?

+ Show Spoiler +

Waddup yo

I liked the poem, I think you took a few too many pauses though. Try doing it more like a complete, fluid motion, if ya know whada mean, I think that'd work out better

On August 15 2011 17:13 Rocketshiptrip wrote: Waddup yo I liked the poem, I think you took a few too many pauses though. Try doing it more like a complete, fluid motion, if ya know whada mean, I think that'd work out better

See this is what I'm talking about. Just do it however it comes out of you. Dont try to "be" something.

Henry Bowers battleing (USA vs Sweden)


http://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=henry+bowers+spoken+word&aq=f


Henry Bowers is one of Europe’s leading slam-poets. He is also nationally known and acclaimed as one of Sweden’s best hip-hop acts.

Henry’s poetry and music is reflecting society as well as his person with a huge spark in the eye and a lot of irony. It’s intelligent, sharp and to the point. In an effective way he breaks down the wall between high culture and mass culture as he takes influences from and refers to everything from horror films and children’s stories to classic masterpieces and great philosophers, everything combined with a dose of humour.

Three years of studying philosophy is reflected in Henry’s lyrics and you also find influences from literary role models such as Franz Kafka, Paul Auster and Edgar Allan Poe. His musical influences come from a wide range of genres. Among them hip-hop acts like Public Enemy, Aesop Rock, Saul Williams and Buck 65, other than that influences are taken from punk, metal, reggae and artists like Johnny Cash, Tom Waits and Woody Guthrie.
Selected biography

cool

pronunciation rant + Show Spoiler +

shouldnt you have a metaphor for wealth disparity instead of using the term...
maybe you could talk about a side of a hill that gets all the sunlight and one that doesnt then describe how they are different....

fuck maybe that is shit....I dont really know though as ive never written a poem

really liked the 1st video a lot

I pronounce things wrong a lot, I was pretty sure Iwas wrong about disparity but I liked the way it sounded enough to not bother looking it up.. I probably ought to go ahead and do it right tho since it makes you sound dumb to most people's ears haha

some pauses were intentional and some not (like the last one).. I've never really recited anything before and it turns out its a skill you have to learn lulz at least for me (always been exceptionally terrible with song lyrics and stuff, faulty memory idk)

thx for all replies

^ + you can rhyme parody with disparity

I BET YOU CAN'T RHYME WITH ORANGE

On August 16 2011 08:40 DaTruf wrote: I BET YOU CAN'T RHYME WITH ORANGE

Door hinge?

i liked it

On August 16 2011 08:40 DaTruf wrote: I BET YOU CAN'T RHYME WITH ORANGE

Sure, orange rhymes with orange. I mean he did it with "nations" and "disparity/parody".

On August 16 2011 11:41 NewbSaibot wrote: Show nested quote + On August 16 2011 08:40 DaTruf wrote: I BET YOU CAN'T RHYME WITH ORANGE Sure, orange rhymes with orange. I mean he did it with "nations" and "disparity/parody".

You're clearly missing the point good sir =[