:'( / wrapup

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shaneomac United States. Sep 10 2008 16:58. Posts 4245

this post is pretty much a whine.

i feel so fucking shitty. i am so tired of running bad at everything i play. ive tried to move from one game to another in hopes i will run better @ something else. i quit playing FR cuz i suffered a sick downswing and never fully recovered and was running unbelievably awful. i handled it well, cuz i didnt mind running bad and i was just like w/e it rly sux but its a part of the game, so i just dealt with it. i began playing a little 6m then started getting into razz because one of my good friends has had massive success @ it and i was hoping to have something of the same. so i began playing it and visited his house so that i could chill w another poker player and my friend and learn from him. so i cashed out over half my roll and left myself with 4k. i played some 5/10-10/20 razz, which i hadnt realized @ the time i was slightly underrolled for, however it wouldnt have made much difference because i just ran like complete ass(he even looked @ my hands and confirmed) even tho i was playing pretty well. so i lost pretty much like 70% of my bankroll and was forced to play 2/4 and 3/6 at the highest. so i used 22.5k fpps to buy a monitor, then used the rest in hopes of playing 5400 fpp satellites. so i won like 5/8 of these and w a 2nd place finish in a razz tourney i got my bankroll up to around 2.7-3k. ever since, ive been playing razz rly well, tourneys rly well, and ive done nothing but fail miserably @ everything ive done. i havent run close to even in months, and i just feel like im such a failure. i see everyone have success except me. i put time into learning tourneys better and i feel im pretty decent tourney player and ive put a ton of effort into getting better @ razz, and while i feel im actually pretty good @ it, i cannot even rly play it anymore cuz my BR permits me to play like 3/6. not to mention even if i did win, i wouldnt win anything considerable. i always have a decent winning session, only to get smashed in the face next session i have and lose a shitton more. its the same cycle. my bankroll is a shitty 2.3k-2.4k and i have no idea wtf to do. i just feel so down in the dumps and pathetic. im not rly rolled for anything.

it isnt one of those things where i believe i run worst than anyone else. cuz thats silly, but i have been running so bad for quite a long time. i mean i know ppl have fun worst for longer, but everytime i feel like things should turn around and i begin to get hope im immediately reassured its false hope cuz i just turn around and fail again.

EDIT: i should also note i got shit going on in my life outside of poker that further drive this level of disappointment and dismay. they dont effect my poker game in any way.

i guess it is what it is.
o well, rant over.
-shane.

0 votes

Last edit: 10/09/2008 17:01