Not my best month ever really, but I think it might be the 2nd best. Could even be the best depending on in what currency you count it, but I'm not sure about that. Also, there's a few days left to go so I might be able to change that, I'll just need like 10 or 20k more and I'll for sure set a new record. I'm fairly happy about this since I've had a very slow year with a lot of run bad, shit that's taken time away from the grind and overall random crap.
When I was a highish stake NL pro my favorite poem all time was;
(yes, that's my favourite reading on youtube for some reason)
I always thought that;
If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss:
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: ‘Hold on!’
meant that I should be as happy when I ran good as when I ran bad. For some reason I figured I could live up to that. However, I was definitely more happy back in the day then during the last year during which I ran much worse, so I really think I let running bad fuck with my mental state. While earlier this month I reflected that I was annoyed that I did not feel happier over my success again I'm starting to come around a little bit and I feel much more at peace with myself. My girlfriend actually commented that she's so happy that I'm doing well, not only because of the money but mostly because I seem like a happier person. That's nice, but I should really start to handle my emotions better. I think it's easier when I have a solid foundation to stand on, and I'm working really hard to make mine stronger.
Due to this I changed my mind and I won't go for SNE next year. I'll just spread money over a bunch of euro sites and hope those games are better. I'll try to live a little bit more healthy, get my winrate up to something less swingy and spend more time both playing and studying the game.
I also got a bunch of books for Christmas. My father-in-law gave me this book about Jerusalem and I've read like 150 pages so far. It's really fun to read and it's given me a new respect for the Jewish people (I knew they where bad ass, but they're just on another level when it comes to surviving fucked up situations) and also reminded me that I'm really an intellectual at heart, even though I really try to pass for a red neck. My mother gave me Socratic Puzzles by Nozick which made me happy since I really liked Anarchy, State and Utopia and I do consider Nozick one of the great thinkers of modern time. I also got a bunch of other books and I'll take my time to read them, although I'll pause for a week or so when the last Wheel of Time book is released.
I've also moving forward with my book or whatever, a bunch of people are slightly interested in doing something with it. I think it could turn into something reasonably cool.
On December 27 2012 13:17 iop wrote:
Stock update?
Down a little bit since last time, but up a little bit on the trades I've talked about (I'm like 95% sure), I'll get a stock update around new years.
On December 27 2012 14:22 GoTuNk wrote:
graph or it didn't happen
+1 on nozick
That's annoying. I'm up like 2k USD + 30k€ on one computer and then up 17k€ or so on the laptop and I tried to import hand from the first one to the 2nd so I'm fairly sure I have fucked my datebases up. I have like 50k on some eurosite I put 1.2k on a few weeks ago though, so I keep track that way
Sweden. Dec 27 2012 13:26. Posts 4472
