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So after I busto'ed out of the shooting star, im walking to the front of the casino when i bump into patrik antonius. He's standing there, dressed in a nice button up shirt with his muscles bulging out of it and looking how pretty much every guy poker player wants to look.

I stood there a few seconds scowling at him in jealousy. I then decided that I'm going to become patrick antonius junior.




I am going to start working out every day, eating healthier, dressing nicer, and playing my best at all times. Oh yeah, and ill probably shave my head.

By the time of the WPT championship next month, you wont be able to tell us apart. Not that you can now.


Comments (9)

So last weekend I went to the celebrity invitational. It was a lot of fun, i got to meet/play with a bunch of celebs. Tourney was shitty structure, really fast, started with 50bb, blinds went up every 30 minutes and i just lost every all in i had. oh well, who cares, i got to play with mekhi phifer, timothy busfield and the creator of the simpsons, and got to talk to a bunch of other people.

cash games went shitty, 3rd hand at the table took a 12k 4 outer on the turn at 20/40, didnt bring enough money to play 20/40 after that so i had to grind the terrible weak tight 10/20 games and made a little more than half of it back.

Anyway, CA was fun, got to hang out with lyric, mango, and jonny cosmo, and met some other cool people out there. ok, the rest of the trip is meaningless besides the plane ride back.


So, I get on the plane on monday morning to fly home. Im really exhausted cause I've been up for like 25 hours at this point (didnt go to bed that night). As I'm walking to my seat I see that I'm the luckiest man alive and have the hottest girl on the plane next to me. Man do I run good sometimes.

so i sit down, say hi and dont really say much more to start. She looks really familiar to me, but I just cant place who it is. A couple minutes later she asks if I could get out so she could go to the bathroom. so I move out of the way and she stands up and i see that shes 6'1. then all of a sudden it dawned on me, HOLY SHIT ITS JENNIE FINCH.

for those of you that dont follow sports, jennie finch is like this phenom softball player who was voted the hottest female athlete a few years running back in like 2003 and 2004.

http://espn.go.com/page2/s/hottest/female/finals.html


in this poll she demolished anna kournikova as the hottest female athlete.


her softball achievments (what a sicko):

Led Arizona to 2001 NCAA softball championship with 32-0 record as a pitcher, two-time national player of the year, three-time All-American. Finished career with a record of 199-16 and also hit 50 home runs.

Anyway I havent heard anything about her in the last couple of years. It turns out shes married and has a kid, which really shocked me, shes only 26. The kid is 9 months old and his name is Ace. Hes going to be pretty much the best pitcher ever, seeing as how both parents are awesome pitchers (dad is on the diamondbacks).

So we got to talking. Shes going to be on a fantasy baseball show coming up in the next few months. Fantasy baseball was like my life for 8 years so i told her everything i knew about it. Then we started talking about what i did and poker came up.



pretty sad. i thought i was in but i blew it.


oh yeah, awesome news. so im getting into backing some really good mtt players in live tournaments with my friend victor (nazgul18 on stars, owns liquidpoker), and last night my boy bodogari won the 300 in AC for 63k weeeee. Ari is the man, hes already cashed in 3 events, only played in 8 for me, hes so sick. We're also going to be backing mig.com and hopefully a few others that im not sure about yet.


ill be at bay 101 in san jose playing in the 2k and 10k events out there next week. hopefully i book another big win.


one last little note. taylor showed me this link about the PPA. check out the video on pocketfives.

http://www.pocketfives.com/FE1...A0DA-C85AC2261B63.aspx


Comments (12)

So last weekend I went to the celebrity invitational. It was a lot of fun, i got to meet/play with a bunch of celebs. Tourney was shitty structure, really fast, started with 50bb, blinds went up every 30 minutes and i just lost every all in i had. oh well, who cares, i got to play with mekhi phifer, timothy busfield and the creator of the simpsons, and got to talk to a bunch of other people.

cash games went shitty, 3rd hand at the table took a 12k 4 outer on the turn at 20/40, didnt bring enough money to play 20/40 after that so i had to grind the terrible weak tight 10/20 games and made a little more than half of it back.

Anyway, CA was fun, got to hang out with lyric, mango, and jonny cosmo, and met some other cool people out there. ok, the rest of the trip is meaningless besides the plane ride back.


So, I get on the plane on monday morning to fly home. Im really exhausted cause I've been up for like 25 hours at this point (didnt go to bed that night). As I'm walking to my seat I see that I'm the luckiest man alive and have the hottest girl on the plane next to me. Man do I run good sometimes.

so i sit down, say hi and dont really say much more to start. She looks really familiar to me, but I just cant place who it is. A couple minutes later she asks if I could get out so she could go to the bathroom. so I move out of the way and she stands up and i see that shes 6'1. then all of a sudden it dawned on me, HOLY SHIT ITS JENNIE FINCH.

for those of you that dont follow sports, jennie finch is like this phenom softball player who was voted the hottest female athlete a few years running back in like 2003 and 2004.

http://espn.go.com/page2/s/hottest/female/finals.html


in this poll she demolished anna kournikova as the hottest female athlete.


her softball achievments (what a sicko):

Led Arizona to 2001 NCAA softball championship with 32-0 record as a pitcher, two-time national player of the year, three-time All-American. Finished career with a record of 199-16 and also hit 50 home runs.

Anyway I havent heard anything about her in the last couple of years. It turns out shes married and has a kid, which really shocked me, shes only 26. The kid is 9 months old and his name is Ace. Hes going to be pretty much the best pitcher ever, seeing as how both parents are awesome pitchers (dad is on the diamondbacks).

So we got to talking. Shes going to be on a fantasy baseball show coming up in the next few months. Fantasy baseball was like my life for 8 years so i told her everything i knew about it. Then we started talking about what i did and poker came up.



pretty sad. i thought i was in but i blew it.


oh yeah, awesome news. so im getting into backing some really good mtt players in live tournaments with my friend victor (nazgul18 on stars, owns liquidpoker), and last night my boy bodogari won the 300 in AC for 63k weeeee. Ari is the man, hes already cashed in 3 events, only played in 8 for me, hes so sick. We're also going to be backing mig.com and hopefully a few others that im not sure about yet.


ill be at bay 101 in san jose playing in the 2k and 10k events out there next week. hopefully i book another big win.


one last little note. taylor showed me this link about the PPA. check out the video on pocketfives.

http://www.pocketfives.com/FE1...A0DA-C85AC2261B63.aspx


Comments (12)

I think some people missunderstood my last entry. I wasnt trying to whine about my results and Im not pretending not to be happy about my results lately. I was just trying to explain how I completely lost the will to play poker for a while, and how its important not to build your life just around one thing. Im not an ungreatful whiny bitch so sorry if you interpertated it like that. Just remember, money isnt everything(HUH WTF!?)

Anyways, like I said, I took a break for a couple of days. I still frequented the forums and discussed poker here and there but tried to fill my head with other stuff and it worked out quite well. Also went to see my parents and brother over the weekend + meeting up with some good friends etc. Pretty damn baller.

So yesterday I got back to my appartment here in Uppsala and today I played my first session since my last blog entry. I think taking a break really helped me. Today I was in a really positive mindstate and I really enjoyed playing poker again. I was also running good so what else can you ask for?

March so far:


Also, spring is slowly emerging here in sweden. ITS SO FUCKING AWESOME!!!

I dont think one can really appriciate what spring means to most of us in this god forsaken country. Living 6-7 months in darkness with nothing but snow and freezing cold weather can destroy even the most cheerful individual. But once spring comes with warmth, sun and tanned beautiful girls everywhere its all fucking worth it.

YAYE!!!


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Uhh, havent played a whole lot of poker the last few days. Played some yesterday and everything went to hell. I didnt feel right from the beginning of the session and after getting flush over flushed twice and loosing some medium pots/coinflips I instatilted away one buyin before having the decency to quit with my dignity somewhat intact, but my bankroll suffering a -7k

To be honest I was sort of expecting this to happen. The last week I just havent felt like playing poker at all, and Im in a real crappy mental state when I do decide to play. I just havent enjoyed the game at all lately which obviously shows in my results. This has many reasons, but I think its to be expected. I have dropped out of school and havent done a whole lot but play poker for like two months which obviously wont work out for me. Starting sessions has also become a bitch lately. Game selection is alot harder to practice on 5/10(and also alot more necessary since there are tons of decent regulars just trading cash with eachother everywhere.) Its just so anoying to not be able to open up lobby and instantly load up 8 profitable tables.

I would prefer to have money on like 3 sites and play 3/6 and 5/10 where the games looks juicy, but this becomes such a hassle since
1: I dont have a huge fucking bankroll for 5/10 yet so I dont want to split it out over more than maybe 2 sites.
2: Due to retarded taxlaws in sweden I dont have to tax any winnings made on a site with its base in the european union, and since I prefer not taxing my swingy profits I need to play on some retarded cryptologic site or whatever.

I have my financial situation sort of covered already so Im in no real rush to play tons and tons of hands. Im going to take a break from poker for a couple of days and do other things. I might play some donkaments and maybe try to sattelite into the WSOP which would be awesome.

I truly believe that you need a balanced life to be a winning poker player, and its really necessary to do other stimulating things except playing and thiking about a cardgame all day. Hopefully I will enjoy a couple of days of reading books, working out and playing the piano and if it all goes well I will be back at the tables tearing it up in no time.

meh, now this turned out like a long rant post about nothing at all really but w/e.

Results from March so far:




GG


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During current Hold'em session you were dealt 764 hands and saw flop:
- 68 out of 133 times while in big blind (51%)
- 33 out of 138 times while in small blind (23%)
- 110 out of 493 times in other positions (22%)
- a total of 211 out of 764 (27%)
Pots won at showdown - 32 of 53 (60%)
Pots won without showdown - 84

+80$

I'm good son.

+ Like 200 hands I played before I reset the counter.

Stars froze or who knows how high I'd go!

I sucked out HORRIBLY on some guy, almost felt bad. I misplayed the hand kinda horribly (obviously intended to set an image, although I think I overdid it, badly) and of course I make trips on the river.. Yea.

On the other hand, I lost a lot to rivers with AA and KK so I guess it evens out! Funny how my KK has a higher win % than AA in pokertracker :D


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Weeeeeeee

I almost don't want to play anymore now, what if I can't repeat this :D (first heater in a month, feels so goooooood).


What kind of minimum buyin-requirement should I follow if I continue to play 26/21 or thereabouts? I'm guessing my old 25buyin-> move up, might be a bit risky :c



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Ok, first things first - some of you may know me as frozenarbiter back on Teamliquid, and yeah, just wanted to mention that.

2nd, why am I writing this? Cause I've had a horrible bad run and I'm finally out of it (I think) and I feel fucking fantastic :D!

Anyway, I started playing poker with the help of GroT, back in late november 2006, really enjoyed it and by the end of december I was a silverstar and rolled for NL25 (yeah, I 12tabled sickening amounts, while watching the simpsons/futurama).

NL25 full ring.. was unkind to me. For whatever reason, my fearless raising of pocketpairs and constant cbetting (yeah, a bit unusual for full ring NL10 I guess) wasn't working at all here (probably also had a lot to do with the money being a lot more to me and therefore leading to me playing less confidently), lost like 200$+ in 2 days (but hey, I made silverstar once more for january).

Np tho, I was on a sickening heater at this time - I had beaten NL10 for 100$++/day for a few days before moving to NL25, and after my downswing (if you can call it that) I proceeded to make back 20 buyins in 2 days (yeah..).

NL25 full ring still sucked so I decided to move to 6max which worked out pretty damn well, and by the end of the month I took my first stab at NL50 (with only 20 buyins tho, I had lost several times when I had close to 25 and was getting frustrated.. silly me).

SOOoooo, I move up with 1000$, game feels the same.. then 5 bad beats later, I move back down to NL25. Np, I'll just rebuild, right? Yeah.. Unfortunately I don't think I ever reached 800$ again, I lost several buyin pots everytime I reached 790.

I was probably tilting quite a bit and playing waaaaaaay too much, but at the end of 3-4~ days, once the dust settled, I had around 430$ left and decided that enough was enough - NL10 let's go.

I proceeded to drop 10 buyins - instantly.

OK, at this point I was slightly confused. I can't beat NL10? Wtf? Yeah. This was like early february..

I spend 1 month never winning more than 5 buyins at once, often dropping more.. Win rate of like 2bb/100 .. yeah, ughhhhhhhh.

Today I finally realized why.

After losing 3+ buyins to some huge donkeys after I'd been patient and waited for premium hands, I kinda blew a fuse, went berserk on my boxing bag, randomly allined in the 1$ tournament I was in and then opened 12 tables of NL10 and fucking killed it.

3000 hands

+14.5 buyins.

Super aggro play, started off the session by raising almost any 2 cards in position, and sometimes out of it, cbetting and reraising when someone was weak, etc. After a while, I could almost open push the nuts and get called.

FUN :D!

So yeah, almost back to NL25 (I was actually even closer at one point a week or two back but I screwed it up). 555$ bankroll.

Wee. Not quite the 1000$ I had a month ago, but yeah, what can you do.

Also, got samsung monitor from FPP store = awesome.

Maybe now I'll finally stop pestering foolsplay/midian/grot about the ridiculous beats I recieve - afterall, it's hard to get too upset when you don't play just premium hands..




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Lately alot of ppl have been asking me what has enabled me to move up so quickly recently. Ive been reluctant to share my secret for quite obvious reasons, but I have come to the conclution that I owe to much to this community to keep this secret to myself. I could say its because Ive been playing lots and lots of poker, constantly focused on improving and killing leaks, practicing good tilt control and table selection.

But that would all be a lie!

Truth is, my success hinges on one thing and one thing only.


MY AWESOME GANGSTA FULL TILT GEAR OBV!

How can I not flop sets wearing this?


WOULD YOU DARE TO BAD BEAT THIS HARDCORE GANGSTA?



There you have it, my secret to success. Pretty baller huh? Since Im always wearing my awesome FTP gear I will run infinitely good. Stats for march so far:




The cute thing about these stats is that the 1knl hands are probibly the result of 10+ sessions. I just cant play epic sessions of 1knl. If I win 4+ buyins it feels like sooo much monies so I have to quit so I dont tilt, and the same thing happens if I loose 4+. Hopefully I will get used to the amounts in a not too distant future. Still very happy about the results though. I have basicly already reached my goal for march. I did set a pretty modest goal though, and I cheated and moved up to 1knl early.


Nigga please


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Im kinda beating myself up for not putting in more time to this game. My goal was to play 80k hands this month and Im not playing nearly enough. Ive just become alot more concervative about my mindstate etc when I play. I want to be really fresh, full and 100% comfortable and concentrated to play, which means I stay away from the tables a big part of the day. I also stared to practice alot more game selection just the past few days, and during the day the 5/10 games are just not very profitable. All of these aspects show great results in my winrate, but I want to get more hands in, and I will have to work on that. Theres just so much money to be made and it feels like a waste to just sit around and not get disgustingly rich.

Yes, I did play some 5/10 today. I know I said I wanted to wait until I had a 50+bi roll for it but awell. I felt really good about my game and saw some juicy tables so I hopped on and It worked out pretty well. Aslong as I practice table selection and try to stay away from the toughest regulars Im sure I can be a winner at these games.

My session today (both 5/10 and 3/6) ended up somewhat well. Im actually up 1k more on 5/10 than what pokertracker displays since I made a "table transfer".(anyone know how to delete 3 hands from PT database?)

Here are my stats for March so far:



My cold is nearly over, I just have the anoying cough left. Might be going out tonight, hopefully not making the same misstake as last weekend and wake up in hell again.


doodoo


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Well, thats not really true. More like "my god complex>me". I played 2 sessions of 5/10 like two days ago and ended up stuck 7k. I played really bad though so I deserved it. Lost some coinflips and tilted a bit, which I havent done in a long time so that kinda sucks. I think I have an edge in the 5/10 games, but its probibly not a big one and Im not comfortable with the amounts yet so Im just going to take it slow and keep playing 3/6.

I was just getting better from my fucking cold during the weekend but on saturday I went to see this guitar player with some friends, had a few beers and woke up next morning feeling like hell. The days since then have been horrible. Ive basicly been sitting at my computer, dressed like a fucking eskimo and still shivering and coughing like hell. Havent played alot of poker at all since I havent really felt focused.

Just finished a pretty big session though, the first one since this dreaded cold fucked me over big time.

A real roller coaster session, I took some pretty horrible beats but still ended up in the green which makes me feel really comfortable about my play and my future in the 3/6 games.

Made one really good read against this overagressive-lagtard-always-3-betting-from-the-blinds-fuckhead
We had a real war going on here and given the previous action I was pretty sure he shoves even worse hands than what he had:

http://www.liquidpoker.net/h/154714

One of the sickest calls ive ever made. I feel like pooruser.

Stats for march:



My goal for this month is to build a comfortable roll for 5/10 (50bi+) which should be more than doable if I dont hit a cold streak.



COUGH


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Being semirolled for 5-10 I decided to take a shot at it, since the weekend games on partypoker are really soft. The jump from 3/6 to 5/10 feels like the biggest one skillwise so far. You dont see many people going really out of line anywhere, but players still have some leaks that are really exploitable so hopefully I will do fine. Im happy to say that I think I played my best poker ever in my second session on 5-10 today. I made some really good calls and some well timed bluffs, and I cant remember one big mistake througout the session so thats awesome.

Here are some cute hands from todays adventure:

Made a good read, but I seem to loose these flips alot
http://www.liquidpoker.net/h/153300


Pretty satisfied with this calldown. Owned.

http://www.liquidpoker.net/h/153314

Im in such a ket run right now. We should make sidebets on how long i last until i crash and burn and have to grind 25nl. Awell, ill enjoy it while it lasts. My stats for March so far:



In other news, I would like to promote a game me and my friends play alot. I know most lpers are starcraft whores but you should still try it out. Its like a RTS mixed with an awesome FPS. Two teams, beasts and humans play on a map. One player is commander and sees everything in RTS mode, like from above. He gives orders n shit to the rest of the players, who run around on the map in fps mode. Imagine it like starcraft but with each unit being a real person playing. The teams tecs up to better units and weapons etc, its pretty damn baller. Even better, its free to download now since the sequel is coming out soon.

check it out, heres the link:

http://www.s2games.com/savage/index.php?page=savageindex

Having this cold has its upside, this means I can play alot in the weekend games on partypoker and hopefully that will mean more profit. YAYE!


Tjing!


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So I finally got around to making a video and I think it turned out pretty well. Im satisfied with the way I played most hands and I think there where some interesting situations. Alot of people seemed to like it so I might make another one, I feel obliged to pay something back to this awesome community that made me the cashgame baller I am today.

If you havent seen the video heres the links for download:

http://www.megaupload.com/se/?d=MHB2M4TI

filefront

Thanks for all kind comments about the video <3


I decided to do this blog thing month for month and March has treated me well so far Played a pretty long session today and I had this one dude on several of my tables. Hes actually pretty decent, he is good at putting pressure on people but hes way too agressive and have a bad sense of hand strength. I played back at him a couple of times and all of a sudden i started making all sorts of hands against him, hitting sets and shit. It was like fucking cristmas eve.

Heres an example of me running good and he giving me no credit and being a lagtard, aggrodonk, tiltfish etc.

http://www.liquidpoker.net/h/152503


Another hand where I made a pretty good read but lady luck wanted otherwise:

http://www.liquidpoker.net/h/152493

I ended up close to 3k up on him, ship it.

Here are my results for March so far:



Good start of the month, hope it keeps up.

Too bad im running bad in real life. I have a cold and it wont fucking go away!(you probibly heard me coughing quite alot in the video) So anoying, I need to be fresh for the weekend to go out partying and perform various random baller acts.



wang


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So I just remembered a funny poker story I read. A few years back when a bunch of us were making little poker threads on a starcraft forum, this one guy came in acting like he owned the place and making all these ridiculous posts about hands he supposedly played in a casino. They were always totally outrageous and had weird nicknames for everyone in the hand.

Here is an example of one (it's pretty long but definitely worth reading):

Hello everyone, i have been visiting these forums for about 3 years, just never had the urge to post anything until recently when all the poker disccusion has come about. My name is Alex the Greek, or thats what everyone calls me at the hardrock casino and the dogtrack. I have never played a hand of online poker, yet ive been playing living live action for around 2 and a half years. The highest ring game limits aloud in florida to people under 21 is 2-4 fixed, which doesnt give your bankroll much room for improvement unless you hit a fantastic rush. The average night of a session of about 5 hours i cash for around a 100-200, yet i know the softer games and i steer clear of the tables that are screwed down. Anyway i have noticed a couple high caliber players here, and when i mean a few i mean a few. anyway i will start posting the some hands here and would like feedback from anyone. I am always trying to seal my leaks. ok heres the latest hand i played in a 180 person 500$+50 buy in NL(only way i can play NL without going out to the boats and im not 21 for a year) Plus NL is by Far my most solid game. Ok here is the Hand Blinds 10,000/20,000 ante of 2000 FinalTable Jon Baacks: UTG raises 60,000 to go <---big stack at the table 580K Tony Terror Tremis: folds Jared Piazza: folds Tiny tom:folds unknown fish: calls (with hands shakin) AlexTheGreek: KhJh I call i have 427k rest fold to the button Sticky Sam: sits for a while actin incredbly strong and moves his shortstack all-in for 150,000 (this guy just took a huge beat to jonny straight to the boat, so i knew he was either stealin and movin in with a desperation hand) Jon:Re raises Sticks big bet to obvisously push me out of the pot. His raise was 250,000. Unknown Fish folds slopily Now let me give you some info on how jon plays. Ive played him heads up in about 35 tournaments and our paths have crossed many a time, hes loose and will bet suited connectors just like aces. So i put him on the holdings inbetween 9-Js, 10-Js, 7-8s, 9-Qs and maybe , i mean maybe AKs or wired 9's and below. BUT VERY unlikly for he wouldve moved in on me there. AlexTheGreek: I start shuffling my chips and smiling. I ask, "thats not ganna be enough to get me outta this one jon boy," I proclaimed. "In fact jonny your destined to go broke on this hand" once again taunting trying to trying to pull him into conversation. "Your really re raising that much with just 4's" He proceeds to tell me hes got a made hand. I take a WHILE TO Call this, im almost positive my reads right and hes really weak. Then all of a sudden he asks for the fuckin clock to be brought out, now i know. "RAISE" I EXCLAIM. Make it 300k to go jon boy, while i slide in almost 3/4ths of my stack "Thats enough to keep you in right jon? in a cocky arrogant voice." Jon looks disgusted: after nearly mucking his hand he reluctanly calls. usually i would take this as he has a monster, and my read was way off, but like i said i know this guy well enough to put him on a hand and decide a betting pattern suited for that particular situation. The Flop 10d 8s 3d Jon still looks steaming at this point. this is were i know i can win this hand with anything, i am going to use the edge of him being off his game for some reason or another, or maybe its because i have straight up outplayed this guy on many occasions. and the best thing about it is i have confidence oozing out of me. Jon checks - Now this is not good.why not put me all in here??? i was almost sure hed do it and id call him instantly with K High, but now im wondering how far behind i am i in this hand AlexTheGreek - this is not time for a bet at all, im 99% sure hell go all in and im beat. Check!!!! The Turn 4h Jon: again he checks, now im baffled, because if he had a straight draw he woulda bet it at the less expensive street or check raised, therefore almost certainly getting a free card. Is this fucker slow playin a set of 8's even on a straight draw and flush draw board?? now this is a possibilty. Ok its time to stop bullshiting and find out where im at Alex the Greek: 27k leaving me a hundred Thousand left. The thing i love about these bets in no limit they are sooo hard to see through and if he comes over the top i can easily lay this down and still have plenty of chips to work with since most of the table is tight and ive been pushing them around with ease. Now this is were he went wrong. Its funny how even good players like him who cash almost every tournament in Tampa can make such dumb mistakes Jonny BOY: gives me the weirdest look, puts his hands over all his chips and to my dismay he gives me the question ive heard fuckin a billion times, how much you got left over there Greek. this is a question that i dont feel obligated to answer, so i take my hands out of the way and the dealer counts em down. I give a smirk cause i cant believe how many tells ive gotten on him these past few minutes!and i also realize something else, how weak his STRAIGHT DRAW IS LOOKIN! ive finally narrowed it down to J-9cd Not spades or he wouldve been firing. My first analysis of startin hands was pretty on point. Jonny Boy: Smooth calls. Now at this point i cant believe it, but i know im ahead with just a K High, insane. and here comes the river down and dirty. River The Ace of Spades Also known as Calamity Jane by all card room rounders and boy oh boy did she live up to her name. Jon boy:Without a thought of hesitation he moves all-in by this time about 300+ railbirds are screaming people are goin wild, because this is by far the biggest pot played in the tourny and the 2 big stacks fire at eachother.(i was told this by my boy jared who folded pre flop, because all i saw and heard was jon and the chips getting splashed around the pot. NOW THIS IS A HUGE DECESION for all my money. of course im getting at least 8-1 8.5-1 on the pot. thats great odds but the payout for 10th is 1,500, but the money doesnt really matter. to me if it isnt 1st then its as good as finishing 180th. This is what i was debating, did he have the case ace? it took me only a few moments to rule it out after going through the hand twice. so this is what i said. alex the greek: "Jonny boy, this might be the sickest read ever or you played this hand fuckin brilliant(i was warned for profanity AGAIN!) Jon, i got you sittin on J-9 trying to steal this pot with a busted draw. I dont have much of a hand AT all. in NL my ability to read people and put myself in their shoes is my god given gift. i made sure not to second guess my instincts and got all my money in there. SHOWDOWN FOR SIDE POT 854k Alex the Greek: Shows K high J kicker Jon Boy: Shows J high 9 kicker SHOW DOWN MAIN POT 450K Alex the Greek: Shows K high J kicker Sticky Sam: Shows Kc 9h the crowd is awstruct or so i was told no body could stop talkin about how either i had a fuckin killer read on my opponent or im just a calling station who will cold call with K high, and the funniest thing was the biggest pot in the hole tournament won with a K high. any constructive criticism is fine, im always looking for ways to improve my hand. i will be posting alot more. and yes i did go on to win the 22k 1st place prize as short handed and 10-1 chip ration was a walk in the park against everyone expect my boy jared. AND WHO KNOWS I MIGHT GIVE THIS ONLINE THING A CHANCE feel free to PM anytime or IM me

One of the guys on the forum, (i think his stars name is kimjongillin) decided to counter it with the following post:

Will somebody please read this hand history and tell me how I could have played it better? I'm always looking to improve on my hands. It was a hot and dry day in El Paso when I played that hand in 1849. I'm not sure why I decided to return to the saloon, and once more risk losing it all; maybe it was boredom, days on end of seeing nothing from my porch besides hot, dry sand and desert lizards reflected in the rising steam. God knows where that steam came from. There wasn't water for miles. I burst through the doors of The Broken Spoke holding all that i had earned from my 3 long months working on the ranch of Dallas Bill, one hundred and two dollars. I looked down back to my usual table: the usual suspects were at it again: Switchblade Joe, Tumbleweed Tim, Vegas Black, and Double Dee. Me? They call me Six-Shooter Sam. I took my seat. The name of the game was $100 NL, the highest stakes in town. I shouted at the bartender. "Hey Lady, bring me some goddamn whiskey." Luckily, she had it. I would have taken horse piss. Anything to rid myself of the grit on the back of my throat. First hand I'm on the big blind, and I look down to find the king of hearts and the ten of spades. Folds all around to me, except for Vegas Black who makes it three to go. I eyed him over carefully. He was a smooth one, that Vegas Black; unpredictable, like a cross-breed between a rattlesnake and a scorpion: you never quite could tell which way he was slithering, but one sting from him and men were pushing up daisies. Vegas Black was known in Texas to raise pots with any old hand, he could be sitting on anything from 2 7 offsuit to a pair of bullets. I saw a drop of sweat roll down my forehead and hit the felt. Vegas gave me a sinister grin. "Call." He urged. "I dare ya." I called his raise. The flop comes 10 clubs, 7 clubs, A spades. Vegas bets out strong, $6, clearly trying to bluff me out. "It'll take a lot more than that to get me out of this pot, partner," I said to Vegas in a raspy voice, my throat raw from the sand and the whiskey. "$20 to go." Vegas lit a cigarette and sucked the smoke through the gap where his left front tooth used to be before he lost it taming Memphis, the wild black stallion that townsfolk rumored Vegas found at the gates of hell after getting shot by Kentucky Jack on the longest day December. "$50." "I call." The turn comes up, the Ace of diamonds. Vegas checks. Now I'm in for it. My pair of tens is looking worse by the minute. I check behind. The river comes, the ten of hearts. Vegas checks again, settting his trap, except this time I can fight back. "I'm all-in." Vegas looks at me and gives another wicked grin. He stands up from the table, pulls his pistol out from his holster, and pointing it at his own head says to me, "I raise you your life." A lot of things went through my mind at that moment. My wife, my children, my future goals of saving enough money to move out west to california and strike it rich, but for some reason, I knew Vegas Black wasn't holding an ace. "Vegas," I said, with shaky hands, pulling out my six-shooter from its brown leather holster, "you're a dead man." I pointed my six-shooter at my own head with my right hand, and flipped over K10 with the other. Vegas flipped over 88 and shot himself dead, in the middle of The Broken Spoke, on that hot and dry 1849 day in El Paso, when I made the biggest gamble of my life. True story. No ban plz.

pretty awesome. ive been using the "i raise you your life" line ever since.


and not to go too long without posting awesome paint pictures heres a pretty cool one:

So my friend beth is a vegan, but she has a dog, Daniel, who is like this little hunter. He's killed squirrels, rabbits, woodchucks and even got a beaver once. Now being a vegan, Beth doesnt take kindly to the death of any animal, so she obviously goes apeshit whenever Daniel ends the life of a little woodland creature. So obviously I had to draw a picture about this:



As you can see shes pretty jacked so dont fuck with her. Or the dog for that matter.


Comments (19)

So I just remembered a funny poker story I read. A few years back when a bunch of us were making little poker threads on a starcraft forum, this one guy came in acting like he owned the place and making all these ridiculous posts about hands he supposedly played in a casino. They were always totally outrageous and had weird nicknames for everyone in the hand.

Here is an example of one (it's pretty long but definitely worth reading):

Hello everyone, i have been visiting these forums for about 3 years, just never had the urge to post anything until recently when all the poker disccusion has come about. My name is Alex the Greek, or thats what everyone calls me at the hardrock casino and the dogtrack. I have never played a hand of online poker, yet ive been playing living live action for around 2 and a half years. The highest ring game limits aloud in florida to people under 21 is 2-4 fixed, which doesnt give your bankroll much room for improvement unless you hit a fantastic rush. The average night of a session of about 5 hours i cash for around a 100-200, yet i know the softer games and i steer clear of the tables that are screwed down. Anyway i have noticed a couple high caliber players here, and when i mean a few i mean a few. anyway i will start posting the some hands here and would like feedback from anyone. I am always trying to seal my leaks. ok heres the latest hand i played in a 180 person 500$+50 buy in NL(only way i can play NL without going out to the boats and im not 21 for a year) Plus NL is by Far my most solid game. Ok here is the Hand Blinds 10,000/20,000 ante of 2000 FinalTable Jon Baacks: UTG raises 60,000 to go <---big stack at the table 580K Tony Terror Tremis: folds Jared Piazza: folds Tiny tom:folds unknown fish: calls (with hands shakin) AlexTheGreek: KhJh I call i have 427k rest fold to the button Sticky Sam: sits for a while actin incredbly strong and moves his shortstack all-in for 150,000 (this guy just took a huge beat to jonny straight to the boat, so i knew he was either stealin and movin in with a desperation hand) Jon:Re raises Sticks big bet to obvisously push me out of the pot. His raise was 250,000. Unknown Fish folds slopily Now let me give you some info on how jon plays. Ive played him heads up in about 35 tournaments and our paths have crossed many a time, hes loose and will bet suited connectors just like aces. So i put him on the holdings inbetween 9-Js, 10-Js, 7-8s, 9-Qs and maybe , i mean maybe AKs or wired 9's and below. BUT VERY unlikly for he wouldve moved in on me there. AlexTheGreek: I start shuffling my chips and smiling. I ask, "thats not ganna be enough to get me outta this one jon boy," I proclaimed. "In fact jonny your destined to go broke on this hand" once again taunting trying to trying to pull him into conversation. "Your really re raising that much with just 4's" He proceeds to tell me hes got a made hand. I take a WHILE TO Call this, im almost positive my reads right and hes really weak. Then all of a sudden he asks for the fuckin clock to be brought out, now i know. "RAISE" I EXCLAIM. Make it 300k to go jon boy, while i slide in almost 3/4ths of my stack "Thats enough to keep you in right jon? in a cocky arrogant voice." Jon looks disgusted: after nearly mucking his hand he reluctanly calls. usually i would take this as he has a monster, and my read was way off, but like i said i know this guy well enough to put him on a hand and decide a betting pattern suited for that particular situation. The Flop 10d 8s 3d Jon still looks steaming at this point. this is were i know i can win this hand with anything, i am going to use the edge of him being off his game for some reason or another, or maybe its because i have straight up outplayed this guy on many occasions. and the best thing about it is i have confidence oozing out of me. Jon checks - Now this is not good.why not put me all in here??? i was almost sure hed do it and id call him instantly with K High, but now im wondering how far behind i am i in this hand AlexTheGreek - this is not time for a bet at all, im 99% sure hell go all in and im beat. Check!!!! The Turn 4h Jon: again he checks, now im baffled, because if he had a straight draw he woulda bet it at the less expensive street or check raised, therefore almost certainly getting a free card. Is this fucker slow playin a set of 8's even on a straight draw and flush draw board?? now this is a possibilty. Ok its time to stop bullshiting and find out where im at Alex the Greek: 27k leaving me a hundred Thousand left. The thing i love about these bets in no limit they are sooo hard to see through and if he comes over the top i can easily lay this down and still have plenty of chips to work with since most of the table is tight and ive been pushing them around with ease. Now this is were he went wrong. Its funny how even good players like him who cash almost every tournament in Tampa can make such dumb mistakes Jonny BOY: gives me the weirdest look, puts his hands over all his chips and to my dismay he gives me the question ive heard fuckin a billion times, how much you got left over there Greek. this is a question that i dont feel obligated to answer, so i take my hands out of the way and the dealer counts em down. I give a smirk cause i cant believe how many tells ive gotten on him these past few minutes!and i also realize something else, how weak his STRAIGHT DRAW IS LOOKIN! ive finally narrowed it down to J-9cd Not spades or he wouldve been firing. My first analysis of startin hands was pretty on point. Jonny Boy: Smooth calls. Now at this point i cant believe it, but i know im ahead with just a K High, insane. and here comes the river down and dirty. River The Ace of Spades Also known as Calamity Jane by all card room rounders and boy oh boy did she live up to her name. Jon boy:Without a thought of hesitation he moves all-in by this time about 300+ railbirds are screaming people are goin wild, because this is by far the biggest pot played in the tourny and the 2 big stacks fire at eachother.(i was told this by my boy jared who folded pre flop, because all i saw and heard was jon and the chips getting splashed around the pot. NOW THIS IS A HUGE DECESION for all my money. of course im getting at least 8-1 8.5-1 on the pot. thats great odds but the payout for 10th is 1,500, but the money doesnt really matter. to me if it isnt 1st then its as good as finishing 180th. This is what i was debating, did he have the case ace? it took me only a few moments to rule it out after going through the hand twice. so this is what i said. alex the greek: "Jonny boy, this might be the sickest read ever or you played this hand fuckin brilliant(i was warned for profanity AGAIN!) Jon, i got you sittin on J-9 trying to steal this pot with a busted draw. I dont have much of a hand AT all. in NL my ability to read people and put myself in their shoes is my god given gift. i made sure not to second guess my instincts and got all my money in there. SHOWDOWN FOR SIDE POT 854k Alex the Greek: Shows K high J kicker Jon Boy: Shows J high 9 kicker SHOW DOWN MAIN POT 450K Alex the Greek: Shows K high J kicker Sticky Sam: Shows Kc 9h the crowd is awstruct or so i was told no body could stop talkin about how either i had a fuckin killer read on my opponent or im just a calling station who will cold call with K high, and the funniest thing was the biggest pot in the hole tournament won with a K high. any constructive criticism is fine, im always looking for ways to improve my hand. i will be posting alot more. and yes i did go on to win the 22k 1st place prize as short handed and 10-1 chip ration was a walk in the park against everyone expect my boy jared. AND WHO KNOWS I MIGHT GIVE THIS ONLINE THING A CHANCE feel free to PM anytime or IM me

One of the guys on the forum, (i think his stars name is kimjongillin) decided to counter it with the following post:

Will somebody please read this hand history and tell me how I could have played it better? I'm always looking to improve on my hands. It was a hot and dry day in El Paso when I played that hand in 1849. I'm not sure why I decided to return to the saloon, and once more risk losing it all; maybe it was boredom, days on end of seeing nothing from my porch besides hot, dry sand and desert lizards reflected in the rising steam. God knows where that steam came from. There wasn't water for miles. I burst through the doors of The Broken Spoke holding all that i had earned from my 3 long months working on the ranch of Dallas Bill, one hundred and two dollars. I looked down back to my usual table: the usual suspects were at it again: Switchblade Joe, Tumbleweed Tim, Vegas Black, and Double Dee. Me? They call me Six-Shooter Sam. I took my seat. The name of the game was $100 NL, the highest stakes in town. I shouted at the bartender. "Hey Lady, bring me some goddamn whiskey." Luckily, she had it. I would have taken horse piss. Anything to rid myself of the grit on the back of my throat. First hand I'm on the big blind, and I look down to find the king of hearts and the ten of spades. Folds all around to me, except for Vegas Black who makes it three to go. I eyed him over carefully. He was a smooth one, that Vegas Black; unpredictable, like a cross-breed between a rattlesnake and a scorpion: you never quite could tell which way he was slithering, but one sting from him and men were pushing up daisies. Vegas Black was known in Texas to raise pots with any old hand, he could be sitting on anything from 2 7 offsuit to a pair of bullets. I saw a drop of sweat roll down my forehead and hit the felt. Vegas gave me a sinister grin. "Call." He urged. "I dare ya." I called his raise. The flop comes 10 clubs, 7 clubs, A spades. Vegas bets out strong, $6, clearly trying to bluff me out. "It'll take a lot more than that to get me out of this pot, partner," I said to Vegas in a raspy voice, my throat raw from the sand and the whiskey. "$20 to go." Vegas lit a cigarette and sucked the smoke through the gap where his left front tooth used to be before he lost it taming Memphis, the wild black stallion that townsfolk rumored Vegas found at the gates of hell after getting shot by Kentucky Jack on the longest day December. "$50." "I call." The turn comes up, the Ace of diamonds. Vegas checks. Now I'm in for it. My pair of tens is looking worse by the minute. I check behind. The river comes, the ten of hearts. Vegas checks again, settting his trap, except this time I can fight back. "I'm all-in." Vegas looks at me and gives another wicked grin. He stands up from the table, pulls his pistol out from his holster, and pointing it at his own head says to me, "I raise you your life." A lot of things went through my mind at that moment. My wife, my children, my future goals of saving enough money to move out west to california and strike it rich, but for some reason, I knew Vegas Black wasn't holding an ace. "Vegas," I said, with shaky hands, pulling out my six-shooter from its brown leather holster, "you're a dead man." I pointed my six-shooter at my own head with my right hand, and flipped over K10 with the other. Vegas flipped over 88 and shot himself dead, in the middle of The Broken Spoke, on that hot and dry 1849 day in El Paso, when I made the biggest gamble of my life. True story. No ban plz.

pretty awesome. ive been using the "i raise you your life" line ever since.


and not to go too long without posting awesome paint pictures heres a pretty cool one:

So my friend beth is a vegan, but she has a dog, Daniel, who is like this little hunter. He's killed squirrels, rabbits, woodchucks and even got a beaver once. Now being a vegan, Beth doesnt take kindly to the death of any animal, so she obviously goes apeshit whenever Daniel ends the life of a little woodland creature. So obviously I had to draw a picture about this:



As you can see shes pretty jacked so dont fuck with her. Or the dog for that matter.


Comments (19)