Achieved every single one of my goals, but still feel empty :/ like i didnt accomplish much. Had a nasty downswing / breakeven for a while that was insanely grinding and tilting due to the fact i was on track for a HUGE month. but honestly, i'm still up and ive made like 1k from RB, so it was a decent june. Here's to july being way better? i should have played alot more hands, but i was lazy and decided to go play live which was also pretty bad due to earlier blog :
june started off terribly (see last 2 blog posts). i used to have superb tilt control but that disappeared with all of the struggling/runbad in the last 2 months. losing so much made me unmotivated and really hurt my volume (15k of the hands were played during the last 3 days). ended up recovering pretty nicely though. between hands 19k and 33k i just 12 tabled nl25 stress-free to rebuild my roll.
i dont know what changed, but the last few days ive been able to play pretty long 2-3 hour sessions. before, i'd usually get tired anywhere between 1-1.5 hours. hopefully i can keep this up and really put in a ton of hands in july. ended the month with a solid 3 hour, +2 buyin nl50 session.
thx to vlseph and balloonfight for listening to all of my recent whining.
Didn't play a lot of hands in June because I spent most of the month depressed and wondering what sort of disgusting, inhumane crimes I may have possibly committed against Howard Lederer's family to make FTP hate me so god damn much. A lot of points in this graph makes it look like I was tilting like a monkey but I definitely was not. So after rakeback and tourney deductions included, I have roughly a -5k month making it my first losing month all year.
Quick 2 sentences of complaining:
It's honestly fucked up how some regs have it so god damn good, on the good side of coolers and flips consistently, everything just goes their way while I struggle to even get action anytime I have a decent hand. I especially loved how there were many times in my month where I thought I was beginning a heater to rostucko but the next day instantly dropped thousands again, this game REALLY loves toying with my mind.
So as you can see a lot of the losses were from 5/10. Stats might be skewed for 2/4 and 3/6 because I've been playing a lot of CAP NL lately (as I'm clearly no longer a winner at 100bb poker). I sort of like the game, it's higher variance so I don't know why the fuck I'm playing it given how I'm currently running but I feel like I can adjust a lot better than most regs at MSNL playing cap and there's a lot of fish. I'm currently working on a guide discussing the adjustments from 100bb to CAP, it's 6 pages long so far, but likely no one will ever read it because who the fuck would want to play CAP :/
I'm going to Vegas tomorrow, for 5 days, mostly for fun (can't play tourneys cuz i'm not 21 nor touched by angels). Hopefully July will be a bit more redeeming, and by that can I at the very least just ask for my god damn EV back plz ftp? Maybe my horses will bink WSOP ME for a bunch, who the fuck knows. God I hate poker so much right now.
I was having a discussion with one of my friends, and he told me that NL25 is like chasing your own tail. I had a +7 bi day or something so I laughed at him.
I just lost 8 bi in two days. And then I see it: the newspaper, right behind my laptop on the dinner table.
BODY&HEALTH
[There's a picture of a dog on a treadmill.]
Caption: DOG RUNS, GOES NOWHERE.
=[
Moving down to NL10 and sticking with a 40bi rule. I don't want downswings to affect ~20% of my roll. So 40bi it is, and I've got a prop bet of $100 riding on it (which is 10bi at NL10, so steep enough for my sake).
School's over and I convinced my parents that it's too difficult to get a job for now, so hopefully I'll be breaking NL50 by the time September rolls around again.
Well I decided yesterday that I wanted to try and get Platinum star for next month and get enough FPP's for the $160 instant bonus. Due to obligations I was no where near either of these so I sat down for a 16 hr 19,000 hand grind session that went very well. Here's how it ended up......I'm extremely happy with how it went, now I'm going to go get some sleep. I'll update my month later.
Last month I played over 100k hands.
I think it was too much.
Its like an addiction, and I can't keep myself from 9+ tabling. The obvious symptoms are inevitable.
I read an article about Human Psychology and the ability of the Brain to multi-task, and I am observing some symptoms of overflow - lowered enjoyment, less focus even outside poker and increased stress levels, and its even affecting my social life.
And why do I multitable?
-Well I don't know really, perhaps I am used to it from the Starcraft days where I always tried to do as many relevant actions as possible.
-Perhaps is it my fear of losing and despair which inevitably occurs with a bad beat that is not offset on other tables and just one pot can ruin my session on 4 tables.
-Another reason may be the Pokerstars VIP level - Since May I had some hardcore milestones to pass and they were pushing my multi-tabling habits.
Yet I play much better when 4 tabling, and my learning curve increases, I hardly tilt and am much likely to cut my session when I am losing.
What to do?
As my Job starts in less than one month, I MUST get used to play super effective sessions where I improve rapidly.
The money will not be a motivation any more, my wage is going to be around $1.8k per month while my living expenses are around $1k.
Fun will be my main concern and the better people I play, the more correct marginal plays, bluffs and reads I make, the more fun and satisfaction I get from poker.
How?
I can't stop 9 -12 tabling before one last VPP milestone is reached - Supernova.
It is so close I don't think I could force myself to 4table. I won't. I will give myself few last days of grinding, and I will try to stay at least break even at 9-12 tables to own those last 3k VPP and get the red stars.
After that I will read psychology articles at Pokerstrategy, which I neglected completely so far, and after that I will try to get myself rid of the multi-tabling addiction, and try to faster achieve my ultimate goal in poker:
Hello all, last few days have been going well, am at about 20 winning sessions in a row right now and feeling pretty good. Have some team full ring challenge from 2p2 coming up next month so kinda excited to see if our team can win it, basically they did some forumla that combines hands played+winrate with some weird multiplier and best overall team average of like 7 people on each wins.
Also trying to get a few more prop bets for next month, (I am currently up 100 dollars at nl100 this month) I offered to any ps/ftp player to prop me who makes more total profit (non fpp/milestone) next month at nl100 but got no takers so now
I want to see if I can get action that I make 10k next month at NL100. I have never made more then 6k in a month before there so should be pretty easy money for most.
I think going to have the line at 2-1 as already have some interest from 2p2 people
Current #1 person on tableratings is only at 10.3k and those guys are awesome and I suck. If anyone wants to bet this with me let me know thanks.
Just finished probably my last session of the month. My biggest volume month ever, put in 45k hands which is absolutely great for my standards.
Only problem is that i ran worse than i have ever run. Literally everytime i string a little bit of profit together i lose another few 85/15's and boom im down again.
Im sure the higher stake players have been thru this all before but wow it hurts. I'm playing good solid poker and consistently getting beaten, its very demoralizing. So yea its like 50k breakeven now and a measly +$70 cashgame profits for the month. Im also down something like $200 on the month in tournaments where i ran equally poorly.
June sucked, I think I got rejected for KFC - went for interview, they were meant to ring me back but they didn't, anything more demoralizing than this?
I also suck at poker and don't have any friends irl.
hoped to win more since ive played a shitload of hours this month, anyways.
Results:
460€ profit (hoped to make around 1k)
360€ rakeback (thank god for rakeback)
350€ from tourneys (kaklooooonk, last blogpost)
~ + 1170€ month, not to bad
(wich is ~1640$)
def happy with the results, hoped for a little more but the tourney 4th place from yesterday bumped up the month results a little bit wich feels great
Next month ill start taking shots at nl50 again
i think i wont put same amount of hours/hands in next month. Ill also cut down amount of tables for nl50.
Good things: Ended in the green as far as hold'em goes. Like 800€. Played a ton of hands (60k) and will probably get like 6.5k-7k in rakeback. Think I lost like 4k in donkaments and omaha though, almost bustoed my FTP account. Got a jacket and a hat from FTP for my FT at that FTOPs thingy though. Had a brutal downswing mid month (25ish bi?), then a big rush and in the end it was just a lot of swings. I think I ran a fair bit over ev in allin situation but when you get into a couple of cooler situations and run cold at high stakes it doesn't really help. My shots at 10/20 (really good games) lost me a fair bit of money but nothing to big. I think I'll try to grind only 3/6 and 5/10 for this month unless I hit another heater. Would me nice to pad the bankroll at little bit more before I try to get up to higher stakes. I'll grind my ass of next month too and I think I've might've figured out a concept that will allow me to increase my profit/hour pretty nicely.
I also think that I'm a slightly better pokerplayer now then a month ago. Hadn't really learned anything important in a few months but this time around I feel that I've gotten the hang of a few important things and am on my way to discover a couple of others.
Overall I feel pretty good about poker in general. I've started working out a bit too again and I finally feel that I'm on my way back to be as strong as I was half a year ago. Got sick mid month and that fucked things up a bit but now I'm back on track again. Really looking forward to seeing Transformers 2 tomorrow too. That movie feels like something really sick, even though the critics hasn't been kind. I am, however, a simple man and I don't need more then the essentials in movies, or in life for that matter. A frind of mine once said that all he needed in life was "Hem, Hona och Hagelgevär" (Home, Female and Shotgun) and preferably adequate protection against feminists and zombies. Lately I've been thinking of that and even if I'd personally put it in other words it's a pretty nice way of looking at life. Sure you want to spice it up a bit and see different countries and such, but in the end it'd be nice to have it all figured out at home.
Also, I can't post hands for some reason, anyone else have problems with that?
KK vs AA ( ai pf ) x2 ( 1,8k + 1,4k )
straight vs FD ( ai on turn )
TP vs TP lower kicker ( ai on turn, he rivers flush )
and lost two flips ( AKs vs QQ and FD+2overs vs underpair on 4bet pot lol )
but i'll back for my moniez... and they will wrap it for me...
It's gonna be fucking siccccccckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk
Friday
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We have a 10 team beer pong tournament this Friday. We have 10 guys and 10 very hot girls.
We're going to have a draft for who's on who's team.
10 guys names in a hat, 10 girls names in another hat. Guy-Girl teams.... [I want teh model so baaaddddddddd]
We also have 5 pong tables too, so games will always be rolling.
We modified the rules.
If you call a snipe and make it, the opposing team needs to roll 2 dice. We have various random shit that you have to do such as:
1 - Close one eye for the rest of the game
2 - Remove an article of clothing
3 - Give a lapdance to the opposing team
4 - add a beer
5 - upgrade 4 cups from beer to a mixed drink
6 - stand on one leg while shooting for the rest of the game
7 - whoever called the snipe is on fire for the rest of the game
8 - drink a cup
9 - use the weak hand the remainder of the game
10 - switch cups with opposing team [if opposing team accepts]
11 - take a shot
we also have 'outs' or 'chickens' but they are even bigger punishments such as;
'make out with your teammate'
'play the rest of your game in your underwear'
'double or nothing - flip a coin... if you call it correctly nothing happens, if you're wrong, pick two other major punishments'
'human doll - which is basically one person puts there hands behind their back and the other one snakes his/her arms through that and will shoot like that for the rest of the game'
'cells away - basically the other sex from the other team gets to take your cellphone and text almost anyone on your phone (no family or work numbers) anything they want. If they respond, only that person can text them back for the remainder of the game - as soon as the game is up, you can get your phone back and try to convince them it wasn't you'
We're playing a 1 Group Round Robin first
then based off that a bracket will be formed.
We're also having awards... 'MVP' 'Most Provocative distraction' 'Most Unsportsmanlike'
We figured we'll just get a random action figure guy for the MVP, spray paint him gold, glue him to a piece of wood and glue a pong ball to his hand, the provocative distraction will just be a barbie doll touching herself, obv spray painted gold... and Most Unsportsmanlike will get a douche. . . Yeah, just a douche. :D
After that, I expect people to continue to drink... I hope to have drunken sex with hopefully one of the more attractive girls there [plz gawd? Bragging rights among my friends would be pretty epic] even if it's one of the uglier girls in comparison, they'd still be extremely fuckable. xD
SATURDAY
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Wake up around 9:30-10:00
Eat
Chug a shit load of water
Make clear mix [everclear + koolaid], cran-vodka mix, and sangria.
Pack mixes, bottles, pop, water, and cases of beer in 2 giant fucking coolers.
Take two trips out on a boat to big island [see a few blogs down for more info]
Play beer pong on our floatable beer pong table
Get stupidly drunk
See countless amounts of exposed boobs
Hopefully grab a few
Make out and possibly hook up with a girl on the island itself
Try not to black out
Remember to take pictures
Boat back and try to hook up with the same girls + new girls who are coming out only for the 4th.
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but oh well that's just learning and fucking around, least i made it to even at 6max
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