I've been running well as of late, and I'm proud to say that my downswing is over, at least monetarily speaking. Hopefully I'm at what is at the tail end of a roughly 100k hand break even stretch . Thanks for all the encouraging comments especially throughout June when I was having the worst month of my life.
Went to Vegas for 4th of July Weekend, made only like 200 there but I played drunk 4/8 limit @ Venetian with two of my friends at 4 AM and it was probably the funnest poker-related thing I've ever done. Everyone needs to try that once in their life (it's amazing how long $200 will last you in Limit too lolol). Staking-wise, my main horse has been underperforming (I even witnessed his supreme run bad first hand), and I have no horses currently in the WSOP ME :[. It looks like I'm going to end up booking a severe loss as far as WSOP summer staking goes, but oh well.
What's on the mind now is APPT 2009! I'm gonna try to attend as many as I can. http://www.appt.com/tournaments/ for the schedule, anyone else planning on going to any?
+58 BI in 4 days, recovering from big downswing !!by Joeingram1, July 12
Edit: Sorry Editing this before bed, its actually +63 BI now
Well since my last post on here thinks have been going much better. There was alot of comments on my last blog and I don't know where to even begin to address most of them but I know one guy said obviously I suck at poker, cant win, need to play less tables, etc etc. I guess I would say to that is I really don't think I am that terrible at poker, I have won 24 tabling for 12/13 months. I still have hopes for SuperNova Elite also and that is achieved by 24 tabling. I guess I could play a few tables and be able to have a better read on situations but I feel the biggest reason I have these huge sessions is simply 3betting way way to much, tilt calling way to many 3bet/4bets and just getting it all in preflop with any random cards because i Just say fuck it. Also I obviously don't know when to quit a session down which is a pretty big problem as well and leads to this epic losing sessions. Some people are just going to think I suck and I am fine with that, as long as I am making money and happy then that is all that matters. I must say there does seem to be alot of support for me on the 2+2 threads I have right now, I'm not sure if any of it is deserving but it is appreciated. I don't mind really sharing my ups and downs, hopefully someone can learn something from it and not lose 52 fkn BI in a session.
My friend Kris (Dashornman on PS) came up to visit for a few days and it was very +++EV for my grinding/profitability. He is an up and comer still at the micro stakes but is starting to improve his work ethic for the better. While he was here, I decided to started 24 tabling 6 max the last few days with really great results the first 15 or so sessions. I feel like I play way way better at 6 max and spew way way less. I love how they don't always have AA, KK vs me which seems to always be the case at full ring lol. I do get pretty bored playing so nittish and non spewy though, once in awhile i still try to get it in preflop with a 106o type hand. I have probably played about 50k hands at nl50 6 max before this month and had great results there also so hopefully I can have continued success.
Here are my stats so far, I have still been playing short sessions and booking the 3-5 BI but got stuck alot one session so had to grind it back lol. To be honest I really don't know to much about ideal 6max stats yet so will need to start learning some more about them.
I am so close to my overall goal for the month that I can feel it, I just have to avoid any big losing sessions and I will be fine. Plenty of time remaining!!
Just took my girl to a live cash game with friends and we took all the monies. Such a fearsome team we are! Heading to another game now which I think will play at 1/2 or 2/4, so if we run good it should be a solid score. My girl is planning to start learning poker and blogging here on LP, keep an eye out for her. I've got her reading theory of poker right now.
All time great boxing champ Alexis Arguello died 2 weeks ago and today
RIP Arturo ''Thunder'' Gatti. This man was a monster, for anyone who follows or followed boxing, he had fight of the year 4 times, one of the greatest boxing trilogy's with micky ward, and a great guy as a whole. Tough loss for montreal and new jersey. You can be damn sure he won't be forgotten
Sickest round in boxing, even non fight sport fan watched this and went O-=
PLO hand reading thoughts coming tomorrow(im a big strategy geek).
Still in with 664k after day 4. Basically doubled up about 30 minutes in and broke even the rest of the day. Played with Lou Diamond Phillips and JC Tran most of the day. Lou is a surprisingly tough player for an actor I've gotta say and JC Tran is super sick as well. Dennis Phillips got moved to our table for a little also but bled off 100k pretty quick before our table broke. Got moved to Hac Dang's table(trex313) to end where I basically did nothing and broke even there too.
Pretty excited to still be in. GL everyone else still in.
I bought some clothes today too since I wanted to look decent in London and also because I've got like 2 pair of decent jeans and 3 shirts here at my parents house and I can't be bothered to go to Uppsala and get whatever crap I've got there. I had been up all night playing poker so I went to some local halfway decent store without any sleep at all and I have no idea about clothes and stuff anyway but the girl in the shop was very helpful (even if I'm halfway sure that the last item she recommended was something they just try to see how big of a sucker the customer is). Ended up buying clothes for like 450 USD but I'm very happy with what I got (except that last thingy) so that was nice. Then I think I managed to figure out how to automatically pay the bills for my mobile internet-thingy I got so that I can check my e-mail when I'm away fishing with dad and such. Really proud about that.
Would be really cool to win that London donkament, or even better just trade 5% with someone, bust first of everyone and have him win it so that I can hang out in London all weekend. Either way is fine. I'm starting to look forward to it a decent bit. Never talked much to the people that I'll probably see there, but Fazi is obvious a bit of a legend and overall I tend to get along really well with east euro people. Also, Zografa has been owning me a bit lately which kinda annoys me so I'd like to know what he looks like. If he's like really tiny or something I can try to run him over more etc.
The UFC 100 will be really fun to watch too. I obviously don't know as much about MMA as some people on this forum, but I find that shit fascinating. Lesnar looks so fucking scary too, which is kinda cool. Next step might be real gladiators fighting each other again I guess. Probably hard to do in civilised countries but I'd say it's 50/50 that it'll happen within like 30 years.
Also, DooMer wrote a good little piece about our "job" or whatever on his blog: http://doomer.liquidpoker.net/ Not quite sure I agree with all of it because overall I feel that I don't want to sound negative about it, but he has a point of two.
Also, again. Anyone who's going to London: I want to trade %. I think Zografa agreed on something but I can't find the MSN log so if he can confirm something it'd be nice too.
Is there a website or somewhere that people give stakes?
I've been playing around 6-8 hours a day this past week and am really into getting better. Hit the hardest downswing of my life and am trying to pick up the pieces. I've started with $10, went to $300, and currently am at $85.
I have like a desire to be staked for NL10 because I feel I can take it on. I have no idea how staking works so any information on how general staking works would be awesome too.
Hardjumpstyl
78/26.2 10.8 3Bet
440.77 bb/100
ownage
Video included! + Show Spoiler +
Submitted by : hoylemj
PokerStars Game #30351644033: Holdem No Limit ($0.05/$0.10) - 2009/07/11 17:29:50 ET
Table Acubens VIII 6-max Seat #1 is the button
Seat 1: Sarga81 ($5.50 in chips)
Seat 2: gunslinge280 ($9.90 in chips)
Seat 3: ingr ($19.65 in chips)
Seat 4: CZC8190BMC ($8 in chips)
Seat 5: hardjumpstyl ($9.50 in chips)
Seat 6: raneu88 ($2.55 in chips)
gunslinge280: posts small blind $0.05
ingr: posts big blind $0.10
hardjumpstyl: bets $2
Sarga81: calls $2 and is all-in
Showdown hardjumpstyl: shows (a pair of Queens)
Sarga81: mucks hand
hardjumpstyl collected $11 from pot
Summary Total pot $11.55 | Rake $0.55
Board
Seat 1: Sarga81 (button) mucked
Seat 2: gunslinge280 (small blind) folded before Flop
Seat 3: ingr (big blind) folded on the Flop
Seat 4: CZC8190BMC folded before Flop (didnt bet)
Seat 5: hardjumpstyl showed and won ($11) with a pair of Queens
Seat 6: raneu88 folded before Flop (didnt bet)
PokerStars Game #30351932323: Holdem No Limit ($0.05/$0.10) - 2009/07/11 17:38:11 ET
Table Acubens VIII 6-max Seat #5 is the button
Seat 1: Hero ($10 in chips)
Seat 3: ingr ($12.85 in chips)
Seat 4: CZC8190BMC ($7.50 in chips)
Seat 5: hardjumpstyl ($12.75 in chips)
Seat 6: raneu88 ($8.55 in chips)
raneu88: posts small blind $0.05
Hero: posts big blind $0.10
Holecards(Odds) Dealt to Hero
ingr: raises $0.40 to $0.50
CZC8190BMC: folds
hardjumpstyl: calls $0.50
raneu88: folds
Hero: folds
Showdown ingr: shows (a pair of Sixes)
hardjumpstyl: shows (two pair, Sevens and Sixes)
hardjumpstyl collected $21.65 from pot
CZC8190BMC said, "wow"
Summary Total pot $22.75 | Rake $1.10
Board
Seat 1: Hero (big blind) folded before Flop
Seat 3: ingr showed and lost with a pair of Sixes
Seat 4: CZC8190BMC folded before Flop (didnt bet)
Seat 5: hardjumpstyl (button) showed and won ($21.65) with two pair, Sevens and Sixes
Seat 6: raneu88 (small blind) folded before Flop
PokerStars Game #30352143361: Holdem No Limit ($0.05/$0.10) - 2009/07/11 17:44:22 ET
Table Acubens VIII 6-max Seat #3 is the button
Seat 1: Hero ($10 in chips)
Seat 3: ingr ($4.55 in chips)
Seat 4: CZC8190BMC ($5.35 in chips)
Seat 5: hardjumpstyl ($19.20 in chips)
Seat 6: raneu88 ($10.75 in chips)
CZC8190BMC: posts small blind $0.05
hardjumpstyl: posts big blind $0.10
CZC8190BMC: checks
gunslinge280 leaves the table
hardjumpstyl: bets $0.50
Poker_Muzz joins the table at seat #2
raneu88: folds
CZC8190BMC: raises $0.50 to $1
hardjumpstyl: calls $0.50
River (Pot : $2.30)
CZC8190BMC: checks
hardjumpstyl: checks
Showdown CZC8190BMC: shows (a flush, Ace high)
hardjumpstyl: shows (a full house, Aces full of Deuces)
hardjumpstyl collected $2.20 from pot
CZC8190BMC said, "so lucky"
Summary Total pot $2.30 | Rake $0.10
Board
Seat 1: Hero folded before Flop (didnt bet)
Seat 3: ingr (button) folded before Flop (didnt bet)
Seat 4: CZC8190BMC (small blind) showed and lost with a flush, Ace high
Seat 5: hardjumpstyl (big blind) showed and won ($2.20) with a full house, Aces full of Deuces
Seat 6: raneu88 folded on the Turn
PokerStars Game #30352299926: Holdem No Limit ($0.05/$0.10) - 2009/07/11 17:49:06 ET
Table Acubens VIII 6-max Seat #4 is the button
Seat 1: Hero ($12.10 in chips)
Seat 2: Poker_Muzz ($11.20 in chips)
Seat 3: ingr ($4.80 in chips)
Seat 4: CZC8190BMC ($9.10 in chips)
Seat 5: hardjumpstyl ($17.95 in chips)
Seat 6: raneu88 ($10.20 in chips)
hardjumpstyl: posts small blind $0.05
raneu88: posts big blind $0.10
Holecards(Odds) Dealt to Hero
Hero: folds
Poker_Muzz: raises $0.30 to $0.40
ingr: folds
CZC8190BMC: folds
hardjumpstyl: calls $0.35
raneu88: raises $0.50 to $0.90
Poker_Muzz: calls $0.50
hardjumpstyl: calls $0.50
hardjumpstyl: checks
raneu88: bets $2
hardjumpstyl: raises $2 to $4
raneu88: raises $4 to $8 and is all-in
hardjumpstyl: calls $4
River (Pot : $21.30)
Showdown hardjumpstyl: shows (a straight flush, Five to Nine)
raneu88: mucks hand
hardjumpstyl collected $20.25 from pot
raneu88 leaves the table
Summary Total pot $21.30 | Rake $1.05
Board
Seat 1: Hero folded before Flop (didnt bet)
Seat 2: Poker_Muzz folded on the Flop
Seat 3: ingr folded before Flop (didnt bet)
Seat 4: CZC8190BMC (button) folded before Flop (didnt bet)
Seat 5: hardjumpstyl (small blind) showed and won ($20.25) with a straight flush, Five to Nine
Seat 6: raneu88 (big blind) mucked
PokerStars Game #30352603139: Holdem No Limit ($0.05/$0.10) - 2009/07/11 17:58:16 ET
Table Acubens VIII 6-max Seat #5 is the button
Seat 1: Hero ($13.75 in chips)
Seat 2: Poker_Muzz ($10.75 in chips)
Seat 3: ingr ($6.75 in chips)
Seat 4: CZC8190BMC ($7.65 in chips)
Seat 5: hardjumpstyl ($21.55 in chips)
Seat 6: nicolitag ($12.50 in chips)
nicolitag: posts small blind $0.05
Hero: posts big blind $0.10
Showdown ingr: shows (a pair of Tens)
hardjumpstyl: shows (two pair, Tens and Deuces)
hardjumpstyl collected $3.20 from pot
Summary Total pot $3.35 | Rake $0.15
Board
Seat 1: Hero (big blind) folded on the Flop
Seat 2: Poker_Muzz folded before Flop (didnt bet)
Seat 3: ingr showed and lost with a pair of Tens
Seat 4: CZC8190BMC folded before Flop (didnt bet)
Seat 5: hardjumpstyl (button) showed and won ($3.20) with two pair, Tens and Deuces
Seat 6: nicolitag (small blind) folded before Flop
PokerStars Game #30352759433: Holdem No Limit ($0.05/$0.10) - 2009/07/11 18:03:01 ET
Table Acubens VIII 6-max Seat #6 is the button
Seat 1: Hero ($10.50 in chips)
Seat 2: Poker_Muzz ($19.85 in chips)
Seat 3: ingr ($5.45 in chips)
Seat 4: CZC8190BMC ($7.40 in chips)
Seat 5: hardjumpstyl ($16.35 in chips)
Seat 6: nicolitag ($11.90 in chips)
Hero: posts small blind $0.05
Poker_Muzz: posts big blind $0.10
Holecards(Odds) Dealt to Hero
ingr: raises $0.30 to $0.40
CZC8190BMC: folds
hardjumpstyl: calls $0.40
nicolitag: folds
Hero: raises $0.60 to $1
Poker_Muzz: folds
ingr: calls $0.60
hardjumpstyl: calls $0.60
Hero: bets $1.65
ingr: calls $1.65
hardjumpstyl: raises $4.95 to $6.60
Hero: folds
ingr: calls $2.80 and is all-in
Uncalled bet ($2.15) returned to hardjumpstyl
Showdown ingr: shows (a pair of Nines)
hardjumpstyl: shows (a pair of Queens)
hardjumpstyl collected $13 from pot
Summary Total pot $13.65 | Rake $0.65
Board
Seat 1: Hero (small blind) folded on the Flop
Seat 2: Poker_Muzz (big blind) folded before Flop
Seat 3: ingr showed and lost with a pair of Nines
Seat 4: CZC8190BMC folded before Flop (didnt bet)
Seat 5: hardjumpstyl showed and won ($13) with a pair of Queens
Seat 6: nicolitag (button) folded before Flop (didnt bet)
PokerStars Game #30352840900: Holdem No Limit ($0.05/$0.10) - 2009/07/11 18:05:29 ET
Table Acubens VIII 6-max Seat #5 is the button
Seat 1: Hero ($10.20 in chips)
Seat 2: Poker_Muzz ($19.70 in chips)
Seat 4: CZC8190BMC ($7.25 in chips)
Seat 5: hardjumpstyl ($24 in chips)
Seat 6: nicolitag ($11.80 in chips)
nicolitag: posts small blind $0.05
Hero: posts big blind $0.10
Holecards(Odds) Dealt to Hero
Poker_Muzz: folds
CZC8190BMC: folds
hardjumpstyl: raises $0.40 to $0.50
nicolitag: folds
Hero: calls $0.40
Showdown Hero: shows (a pair of Tens)
hardjumpstyl: shows (a pair of Aces)
hardjumpstyl collected $19.10 from pot
Summary Total pot $20.05 | Rake $0.95
Board
Seat 1: Hero (big blind) showed and lost with a pair of Tens
Seat 2: Poker_Muzz folded before Flop (didnt bet)
Seat 4: CZC8190BMC folded before Flop (didnt bet)
Seat 5: hardjumpstyl (button) showed and won ($19.10) with a pair of Aces
Seat 6: nicolitag (small blind) folded before Flop
PokerStars Game #30352930869: Holdem No Limit ($0.05/$0.10) - 2009/07/11 18:08:11 ET
Table Acubens VIII 6-max Seat #2 is the button
Seat 1: Hero ($10 in chips)
Seat 2: Poker_Muzz ($19.55 in chips)
Seat 3: petetheskeet ($5.90 in chips)
Seat 4: CZC8190BMC ($8.25 in chips)
Seat 5: hardjumpstyl ($37.65 in chips)
Seat 6: nicolitag ($10.95 in chips)
petetheskeet: posts small blind $0.05
CZC8190BMC: posts big blind $0.10
hardjumpstyl: checks
Hero: bets $2
hardjumpstyl: raises $3 to $5
Hero: raises $3.90 to $8.90
hardjumpstyl: raises $3.90 to $12.80
Hero: calls $0.10 and is all-in
Uncalled bet ($3.80) returned to hardjumpstyl
Showdown hardjumpstyl: shows (three of a kind, Aces)
Hero: mucks hand
hardjumpstyl collected $19.15 from pot
Summary Total pot $20.15 | Rake $1
Board
Seat 1: Hero mucked
Seat 2: Poker_Muzz (button) folded before Flop (didnt bet)
Seat 3: petetheskeet (small blind) folded before Flop
Seat 4: CZC8190BMC (big blind) folded before Flop
Seat 5: hardjumpstyl showed and won ($19.15) with three of a kind, Aces
Seat 6: nicolitag folded before Flop (didnt bet)
PokerStars Game #30352961745: Holdem No Limit ($0.05/$0.10) - 2009/07/11 18:09:06 ET
Table Acubens VIII 6-max Seat #3 is the button
Seat 1: Hero ($10 in chips)
Seat 2: Poker_Muzz ($19.55 in chips)
Seat 3: petetheskeet ($5.85 in chips)
Seat 4: CZC8190BMC ($8.15 in chips)
Seat 5: hardjumpstyl ($46.80 in chips)
Seat 6: nicolitag ($10.95 in chips)
CZC8190BMC: posts small blind $0.05
hardjumpstyl: posts big blind $0.10
Holecards(Odds) Dealt to Hero
nicolitag: folds
Hero: raises $0.90 to $1
Poker_Muzz: folds
petetheskeet: folds
CZC8190BMC: folds
hardjumpstyl: raises $6.50 to $7.50
Hero: raises $2.50 to $10 and is all-in
hardjumpstyl: calls $2.50
Showdown hardjumpstyl: shows (two pair, Sevens and Threes)
Hero: shows (two pair, Jacks and Threes)
Hero collected $19.05 from pot
Summary Total pot $20.05 | Rake $1
Board
Seat 1: Hero showed and won ($19.05) with two pair, Jacks and Threes
Seat 2: Poker_Muzz folded before Flop (didnt bet)
Seat 3: petetheskeet (button) folded before Flop (didnt bet)
Seat 4: CZC8190BMC (small blind) folded before Flop
Seat 5: hardjumpstyl (big blind) showed and lost with two pair, Sevens and Threes
Seat 6: nicolitag folded before Flop (didnt bet)
PokerStars Game #30353005200: Holdem No Limit ($0.05/$0.10) - 2009/07/11 18:10:23 ET
Table Acubens VIII 6-max Seat #5 is the button
Seat 1: Hero ($19.05 in chips)
Seat 2: Poker_Muzz ($19.55 in chips)
Seat 3: petetheskeet ($6.35 in chips)
Seat 4: CZC8190BMC ($8.10 in chips)
Seat 5: hardjumpstyl ($36.40 in chips)
Seat 6: nicolitag ($10.85 in chips)
nicolitag: posts small blind $0.05
Hero: posts big blind $0.10
Holecards Dealt to Hero
Poker_Muzz: folds
petetheskeet: folds
CZC8190BMC: folds
hardjumpstyl: raises $0.50 to $0.60
nicolitag: folds
Hero: calls $0.50
Hero: checks
hardjumpstyl: bets $1.50
Hero: folds
Uncalled bet ($1.50) returned to hardjumpstyl
hardjumpstyl collected $2.15 from pot
hardjumpstyl: doesnt show hand
Summary Total pot $2.25 | Rake $0.10
Board
Seat 1: Hero (big blind) folded on the River
Seat 2: Poker_Muzz folded before Flop (didnt bet)
Seat 3: petetheskeet folded before Flop (didnt bet)
Seat 4: CZC8190BMC folded before Flop (didnt bet)
Seat 5: hardjumpstyl (button) collected ($2.15)
Seat 6: nicolitag (small blind) folded before Flop
PokerStars Game #30353179834: Holdem No Limit ($0.05/$0.10) - 2009/07/11 18:15:38 ET
Table Acubens VIII 6-max Seat #6 is the button
Seat 1: Hero ($18.55 in chips)
Seat 2: Poker_Muzz ($19.15 in chips)
Seat 3: petetheskeet ($7.15 in chips)
Seat 4: CZC8190BMC ($7.85 in chips)
Seat 5: hardjumpstyl ($36.60 in chips)
Seat 6: nicolitag ($10.65 in chips)
Hero: posts small blind $0.05
Poker_Muzz: posts big blind $0.10
Holecards(Odds) Dealt to Hero
petetheskeet: folds
CZC8190BMC: folds
hardjumpstyl: raises $0.30 to $0.40
nicolitag: folds
Hero: raises $0.60 to $1
Poker_Muzz: folds
hardjumpstyl: calls $0.60
Showdown Hero: shows (high card Ace)
hardjumpstyl: shows (a pair of Sixes)
hardjumpstyl collected $3.90 from pot
Summary Total pot $4.10 | Rake $0.20
Board
Seat 1: Hero (small blind) showed and lost with high card Ace
Seat 2: Poker_Muzz (big blind) folded before Flop
Seat 3: petetheskeet folded before Flop (didnt bet)
Seat 4: CZC8190BMC folded before Flop (didnt bet)
Seat 5: hardjumpstyl showed and won ($3.90) with a pair of Sixes
Seat 6: nicolitag (button) folded before Flop (didnt bet)
PokerStars Game #30353416977: Holdem No Limit ($0.05/$0.10) - 2009/07/11 18:22:50 ET
Table Acubens VIII 6-max Seat #2 is the button
Seat 1: Hero ($17 in chips)
Seat 2: Poker_Muzz ($18.85 in chips)
Seat 3: petetheskeet ($6.90 in chips)
Seat 4: CZC8190BMC ($7.75 in chips)
Seat 5: hardjumpstyl ($37.80 in chips)
Seat 6: nicolitag ($10.40 in chips)
petetheskeet: posts small blind $0.05
CZC8190BMC: posts big blind $0.10
Showdown hardjumpstyl: shows (a straight, Ace to Five)
Hero: mucks hand
hardjumpstyl collected $9.90 from pot
Summary Total pot $10.40 | Rake $0.50
Board
Seat 1: Hero mucked
Seat 2: Poker_Muzz (button) folded before Flop (didnt bet)
Seat 3: petetheskeet (small blind) folded on the Flop
Seat 4: CZC8190BMC (big blind) folded on the Flop
Seat 5: hardjumpstyl showed and won ($9.90) with a straight, Ace to Five
Seat 6: nicolitag folded before Flop (didnt bet)
I had people over last night to play beer pong and most everyone had left by 1230. Me and this one guy who im not particularly fond of played a few more games and then he heard about this party about 20 minutes away so we headed there. I partied with a bunch of people i didnt know, made some new friends whom's names i couldn't recall today and was ready to fucking go home at about 430. I had drank a fuckload of jager and i was done. The douchebag didnt wanna go for whatever reason and said we were staying there. I argued with him for a long time and finally went and passed out on a couch. I wake up this morning and couldn't really put it all together just yet but i knew i was not at my fucking house. I realized that "we" had stayed at the house and i went looking for him.
Dude fucking left me there alone, in a town i have never been to and wtf. After pleading with the bitches who owned the house to drive me home offering money + gas money + lunch and them refusing to take me i mass txt messaged everyone in my phone and finally my friend tessi came and rescued me. I'm really fucking pissed off about my ex douchebag friend, can't wait til the next time i see him to give him a piece of my mind.
On to poker, I'm break even this month besides $420 in rakeback and winning $250 in a rakerace, rakebackpro FOR THE WIN. I realized in HEM that i'm losing lots and lots of money this month in non showdown situations and that's why I have been not putting up my old results. Since i already won that rakerace thing I'm gonna start 4 tabling instead of mass tabling and playing mass hands so that I can get my mind back to where it needs to be and hopefully make at least 1k profit besides rakeback so that i can start making progress back to nl200.
Disclaimer
Ok so this is going to be a rant, but more a lifestyle rant than anything. I'll say it now, this is a rant on how society/friends/family outside of poker view my lifestyle. And if you fall into that category, which i know some do. Some of you dont like people to brag. This is not a brag post though, however it does contain a lot of content which people wont understand and will probably just make me look stuck up. If you can stand that, then continue reading. I know that the core LP'ers that are successful share these feelings too at times. And nothing really triggered my frustration but i really feel it building up. And frankly its getting a little tough to deal with. I am going to put the rant in a spoiler for people who do not want to read it to just skip.
I know everyone's money situation is unique, especially in poker. But its not about money really. its about perspective. In my line of work i am fortunate enough to have a nitch in which i can generate a substantial income compared to the average person my age and any age for that matter. I am SOOOO fortunate for it. But it comes with its unique set of frustrations and challenges in society. I was talking with mezmerizeplz about this too and we both agree that it is hard to truely feel connected to someone who has no understanding of what your motivations are. And what you want to accomplish, and not only that but doesn't even understand or view your job as legitimate. Like its hard to get taken seriously when you tell someone "Yea im going to play some poker". They're like, you'd rather play a card game than hang out with me? And then you have to try and make them understand that you are actually going to work. Then this is followed by, "but you can make your own hours right? why do you have to play right now?". Then it gets to the point where I feel inside like saying "Look you SOB, Its hard enough to find motivation to deal with one of the most mentally and emotionally swingy jobs in the world and you really want to just guilt trip me on top of that for doing my job?" Granted, this isn't a balancing act on the top of a sky scrapper, and its not like we are putting our lives in danger or going through rigorous physical exercise. But to call it an easy job is retarded.
Aside from the views of society on my job that i take a lot of pride in. There is also the dealings with friends which can be very delicate. For instance, if a friend comes up to me and says hes happy because he got a raise. Naturally you congratulate him and are happy that hes happy. But the vice versa doesn't work. I can't go up to the same person and say. "I am Sooo happy i just raised my hourly in the past 3 months by 35$ an hour on average and am killing the games" Or worse yet, "this month has been great to me, im up 25k". Essentially what i am getting at is we can seldom celebrate our success with the average person our age. Now you may think. Well fuck, just be happy your doing so well. That is fine, and a valid opinion, however as human being we enjoy being validated by our peers. We seek one way or another some sort of validation of success. But its hard when you have a smile 2 miles wide and when asked just say "Im just happy because ive done good this month". Even then the general opinion is going to be
"wow, hes sooo lucky he gets to do nothing all day and make good money". There is no stopping this sense of envy that is apparent in most people our age. Here is a HUGE difference between a lot of poker players whom i spend time with and the general population. General population: If asked how much you make a year tell them about 170k. They become envious, but in a bad way. They want to mooch, they may wish they were you, or wish it was them instead of you. They also may think your the luckiest SOB on the planet, ect ect. Generally very negative useless forms of jealousy. If i tell a 100NL grinder, he for the most part imo will feel more motivated. "he did it why, can't I?" And that is oh such a sweet feeling to know that you inspire someone. And even though I wish my life could be an example of an out of the box success story. It seldom is viewed like that by society, and most importantly by the people in my age group.
Most of the people in my age group are living in college forming a life for themselves and probably only moved out of their home withing the past 2 years. They feel like everyone is on a similar track as them and everyone is getting their start at the same time. Their place in life is similar and they feel like finances are not something that is very relevate at all except paying the tuition and rent. That's as far as it goes. No one is really successful except for a select few that might have had rich parents and got into investing in some way, or got a good job for some reason or another, probably exceptionally hard working and intellegent. For the most part everyone is at step one in their financial development and are truely getting some life experience just recently. Any mention of great success at this point sets you apart from your universal set of peers. For the most part this is generally always a bad thing. To be viewed differently is a great obstacle in generating a deep connection with someone. They may view me as intimidating, because I have more life experience. Possibly they may think I am a good friend to have in case they need something or that I can rub off some of my luck or whatever onto them. Generally i find people actually treat me nicer when they find out I'm a poker player. Which i guess is good but realistically it creates a gap for me. Its like they except me to be from another planet. And they want to probe me for information on how to get there.
My good friend clay(mezmerizeplz) and I have spent many 3 am conversations talking about how we have grown apart from our highschool friends. I'll speak only for myself though. I find I have a tough time relating to a lot of conversations the people around me have. Job troubles, college oriented goals, even long term goals when people ask me my opinion, I have to sort of just recycle my observations or someone elses input in order to even balance at all in the conversation. In addition to that if it comes down to it and they ask me what i plan to be doing in 5 years. Its so hard to be truthful without being a douchebag. Realistically functioning in socieity so young and successful is litterally a double life. I feel the clark kent effect a lot when I am around people that aren't involved in the lifestyle. I thank my girlfriend for being so understanding she and my friend jorge are probably the only people outside of poker that i truely open up to. Even then I feel a sense of me venting things like this to them, just comes out in their ears like "boo hoo i am a fucking baby". I thank them for putting up with it truly. I do try and censor myself around them though. For instance i truely do get dissapointed when I dont meet the goals i set for myself, for instance 3 months ago i made around 15k and played around 120k hands. I had set for myself a goal for about 170k hands and did not meet it. I was pretty dissapointed in myself but If i were to complain i know it would seem like I was just rubbing it in their faces or something. "yea this is a bad month for me haha" though obviously i was happy with the financial impact of the month. I look way more to the future than most everyone I know. I want to set myself up as best i can now for the future. But i know that its tough for other people to grasp because my level of financial maturity was met only through a lot of useless spending and desensitization of money itself.
I am a motivation junky. If i am motivated i am happy. When i was in college first starting out, like i said above, i was among those people that was on step one of life. I hated it. I hated that I thought i had so much potential but couldn't do anything to make my life easier. It didn't matter how much i studied or how much i worked, I was always just going to be spinning my wheels waiting to graduate. Now i have something which I want to take full advantage of. And i love it. I can focus my energy on it and create success. But the thing that annoys me so much is the general non-motivation of my peers. Because of the spinning wheels syndrome of my age bracket, everyone is sort of in limbo. "its college this only happens once in our lives we have to enjoy it while it lasts, because then you have to get a job and get old". I'm sorry if i dont relate to that, i might just be dumb or something. I really couldn't care less for meeting a ton of women and hooking up. If thats the most important thing they have on their minds besides paying rent thats fine. But I find life as a whole extremely exciting even the simplest things bring me great joy. The thing i like the most out of anything, is to look in the mirror and say "goddamnit I am working hard for what i want and I am proud that i can exploit my potential to the fullest". That is the best feeling on the planet. And i hate when people tell me "you already make a more than good living, why do you keep working so hard, you dont even spend much." I refuse to settle. I will never settle even if my spending needs are only 30k a year and i am worth 5 mil, the day that happens i will be just as passionate about meeting whatever goals i have then, As i am today. I want to be able to exploit every opportunity in life not passing up on anything I want to do, and i want the same for my would be family that I hope to have some day. I dont want anything to stand in my way. I refuse to settle for mediocrity. I hate that so many people are content with settling for 'close enough'.
Sorry for the rambles. and probably a lot of grammatical error.
On a side note. I just got back from vegas with my girlfriend yesterday. And I am about to hit the grind as soon as i hit the post button.
Btw i am setting myself a goal of 8 hours a day 5 days a week totaling 40 hours a week obv i might occationally have to make up some time on other days though. Starting tomorrow. And I will let you know that I WILL get supernova elite.
This summer has been great. I've been in New York now for a month and a half and its such an exciting city! My internship is really relaxed so I get out at around 6 every day so I have time to enjoy the nightlife of the city. (obv i'm a little hung over as i write this).
I'm not going to get into details about the city, but its great!!! Life is so funnn!
Poker for me has been really interesting. The first 2 weeks i got here, I basically played nothing but poker + work. the result was playing around 60k hands in a week and life was pretty depressing as I just spewed too much. But after some life +ev moves, i regained confidence and started playing less poker (due to going out more) and my win rate went up. Yesterday was actually the first down day I've had in a while, (-100) and today i made it all back (+200) so I'm in a decent mood. I'm still crushing the other players, but I definitely need to work on my game. It's been stalling for a while now, and my BR is almost back to 2.5k
However, i did manage to win like 500 on PS before i withdrew my whole roll, so overall i think i'm +2.5k for the summer so far. Not too great, but that's like a extra paycheck for me. The city is really expensive.
Since most of you don't have patience to read a really long post, i will just end it here with a picture.
I started the day with 200k in chips and after the 2nd to last level of the day I had only 100k left. I get back at 1500 3k and stack a 55k stack with aa vs ak. Then I chip up to 240k. Then this hand happens. I raise 44 utg to 7200. Owen crowe defends the bb. Flop is Qs 8c 2c. Owen checks I cbet 9500. He raises to 25k. I call. Turn is an 8s. He fires 50k. I'm pretty sure I have the best hanf but for whatever reason I just call instead of shoving 150k more. The river is a 3 of spades completing a backdoor flush and owen shoves. He had been shoving a lot of rivers with the nuts and been overall sick aggro so I think for a few seconds and call off all my chips and he had a 37o. So my biggest pot of the tourney I won with a pair of fours. After that I chipped down a bit and ended the day at 373k with 800 people left. Follow me at www.pocketfiveslive.com.
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. Thanks for all the encouraging comments especially throughout June when I was having the worst month of my life. 
(a pair of Queens)
(a pair of Sixes)
(a full house, Aces full of Deuces)
(two pair, Tens and Deuces)
(a pair of Nines)
(a pair of Queens)
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