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After losing 6k today, I'm back to break-even for December.

Except I feel like shit.

Playing this game makes me unhappy, yet I continue to play.

Why? Money? Am I still under the illusion that I can get set for life by playing this game? Thanks to the growth of online poker and the rapidly spreading information available to almost anyone in the world, poker is slowly becoming a crapshoot. Everyone is quickly adjusting, evolving, and expending hours and hours just working on their game, thinking that this game is the answer for their financial problems, dreaming that one day they might make enough to support the rest of their lives. It might happen, but the chance of that happening is as slim as winning the lottery.

Poker has really changed over the last few years. Prior to the internet poker explosion, a major portion of the poker "community" were the rich, bored, thrillseekers with some gamble. A lot of people didn't actually play "winning poker," whether its because they lacked access to information, or that they were rich and didn't give a shit, or they didn't have the time or patience to learn, or just plain stupid. However now, thanks to the evolution of the internet and information explosion, people from all over suddenly come to poker not to play as a game, but as a job. They hear stories about great success and an easy life. "Sit there, click a few buttons, make money." What a dream job. Does it last though?

When there are this many players playing and competing, all with access to the same vast amounts of information, all with a fiery dedication and tons of time to kill, and most importantly all with the dream of winning it all, poker approaches its nash equilibrium where the game is practically solved and the only one who can actually profit is the casino itself. It has not reached this point yet, but seeing how the game has changed over time surely marks its destiny. It's quickly becoming less of an intuition and psychology game, and more of a mathematical battle. Eventually I see poker turning into the AKQ game, with a solution set for optimal play. A solution to poker? Yes, it's very obvious one exists. In fact, working poker bots to play every hand ideally may already exist. We'll never know if they do until the game is solved, because anyone smart enough to make one would also be smart enough to keep it a secret.

I can blame my luck on setups, tilt, bad play, bad luck, anything I want, but it doesn't change the fact that I feel terrible after losing. Sometimes I have trouble sleeping because I ran bad. I can't stop thinking about what could have been if chance was on my side. Obsessing about the past is entirely pointless, but being human, it's simply inevitable for me. Is the money really worth all this trouble? I'm wasting so much time sitting at the computer playing poker, and 2-3 days per week I get to feel like shit at night because I ran bad. Furthermore, poker thoughts constantly plague my mind to the point where I'm sick of constantly thinking about it. Is this all worth it just for money? I'm missing out on the rest of the world. I'm missing out on a real career, a real chance to work at something more meaningful than paper that society pretends has value.

So what will I do? I'm not sure. I'll probably continue to play HU for a while longer until I've either realized the money is or isn't worth all this struggle. Until then, I'll keep dealing with these depressing nights.


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2009 Review, what went well and what went wrong?

So, I guess I shouldn't have expected this year to end any differently after all this negative momentum I've had throughout December. I begrudgingly agreed to purchase a step 4 ticket to attempt to satellite into the PCA because one of my non poker friends begged me to try it. I took the 4th step by storm and moved on easily. I beat the 5th step even faster, completely dominating the table (obviously because I ran like the sun). I had 6k at one point while all remaining players had less than 1500. Then I went for step 6, prepared by getting a friend who has a very strong SNG game and actually grinded these steps last year to sweat and help me through it. It was a pretty tough line up and some big names were in it, but with just 10 of 18 remaining, I was actually in 1st place. That didn't last long though. I went card dead and was slowly grinded down (and everyone who seemed to be at risk when all in kept seeming to win at showdown. Anyways, 6th place paid 700, 1st and 2nd got the 15k trips, I ended up placing 7th. Kinda standard for me and donkaments. Oh well enough complaining.

2009
Things I did well:

--I finally swallowed a chunk of my pride.
Moved back in with my parents in Feb of 2009. Began grinding, starting all over again at the .05/.1 games (yes after playing the 3/6 and 5/10 games the previous year).

--I heavily increased my studying time and spent many hours with coaches.
I spent a little under 10k$ this year on coaching alone and I definitely think it helped me in a number of ways. (1) It gave me some semblance of a support group, and (2) it gave me access to the thoughts of players much better than me. I learned a lot and I'm glad I am happy with the investment.

--I cut out the majority of auto-piloting that had ruined me over the course of 2008.
It didn't hurt to run a little good in those first couple of months either.

--I put in heavy hours at the tables.
I booked 250 hours in each of the 1st three months I returned.

--Most importantly I think, I completely paid off all of my debts.
I had accrued about 50k worth of debt over the course of 2008, 5k worth of debt to poker players, 15k to credit cards and 30k to my parents. It sure is quite a relief to have completely paid all that back in less than a years time and to have plenty left over.

--I worked diligently at building a student base in order to secure additional means of variance free income. I now have a strong long term student base with solid referrals. The majority of my students are thriving, and those who aren't have some disgusting EV graphs. I also began making training videos for grinderschool.com, and while the compensation I receive is rather minimal, I am getting good experience and helping people along the way. Things in this department have gone so well for me that I've begun writing a book about optimal HUD use pertaining specifically to HEM. I expect to finish it sometime in February of 2010.

I also have plans to create a website in which a community can be formed between players and coaches. Coaches will be evaluated and will contribute content such as free training videos and responses to questions in forums to the site in return for free advertising for their services. Hopefully it will be a place where students can come together and form peer groups or poker circles to discuss theory and find support from others with similar goals.

--I played in some of the toughest games in the world this year (5/10 and 10/20 across FTP and PS) and fared well.
I set a goal 3 or 4 months ago claiming that I wanted to have built a big enough bankroll (about 50k) to have taken a shot at the 5/10 games by February of 2010. I accomplished that goal midway through November and felt as if I was +ev in many of the games in which I sat, even if it was all regulars. (There were clearly some games I sat in where this wasn't the case, but that's for the part where I talk about the things I did wrong).


I'm actually surprised I was able to come up with so many positives for the year. It makes it difficult to feel negatively about the situation I'm currently in, but for some reason I do. I guess it just shows how seriously I am affected by momentum. Regardless, I need to feel satisfied with my accomplishments in 2009, I left the situation I was in in 08 in the dust and definitely am stampeding in the right direction now.

2009
Things I did poorly:

--TILT CONTROL TILT CONTROL TILT CONTROL TILT CONTROL.
My tilt control was horrid, it was atrocious, it was flat out embarrassing, insert any other synonym you can think of and that's what it was. My win rate when I play my A-game is somewhere around 4.5BB/100 at 400 and 600nl. When I'm playing my D or F game, it's got to be -15BB/100. My lack of tilt control is at the very core of all my poker related problems. I lost 1/3rd of my overall profit for the entire year in two separate sessions.

I even went so far as to make a blog post bragging about how "epic" it was that I was down 10k at 3/6 and CONTINUED TO PLAY, somehow luckily winning the money back. I was being ridiculous. It's happened in the past, and it will probably happen again, what can I say, I'm ego-driven by nature and it's something that will always be a part of me. I can do my best to push it down when I am aware of it, but when my self-awareness falls flat, I fall to the whim of my ego. I'll get back to what I'm planning on doing about this in my next blog post--Goals for 2010.

--Bankroll management.
I wouldn't say I managed my bankroll that poorly, however, in terms of my new form of BR management, it will be considered poor. I feel this one of the core principles that relates specifically to my lack of tilt control.

--Having a balanced life
The balance in my life was nothing short of a disaster. It also lies within the same core concepts that relate to my problem with tilt control. The bigger a part of my life and well-being that I make my poker graph, the more I remain at its mercy.

The more I think about it, the more it seems these three concepts seem to feed off each other. When I am playing on a short bankroll, I over-concern myself with my daily wins and losses because it has more of an effect on my daily mood. The more I allow poker to control my mood, the more often I tend to tilt and play too long and refuse taking breaks. The more I tilt and refuse to take breaks, the more I think I need to play in order to make up for the lost money from my tilt.

I’m glad I worked this all out on paper, I really feel like changing my bankroll management is going to have a huge effect on the rest of my life, that’s going to be my number one goal for 2010.



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Hey everyone,

Just recently been getting back to the grind. I've had pretty solid results at 100NL and will be moving back up to 200NL pretty soon.

http://www.liquidpoker.net/user_pictures/81dae.december.jpg

Going to be grinding out at least 2k hands/day from here on out, playing a good amount of tournaments, and getting a few lessons from Jamie in order to get ready for PCA. If anyone wants to exchange contact info and hang out/get food while down there send me a PM.

I have 50% of my action left for sell in the main event and will also be selling 50% of myself in the 1k 6max event. There will be no markup, 1:1. I feel like I'm a solid investment and have a decent amount of live experience from playing in Vegas last summer, last years PCA, and in Barcelona this year. So just send me a PM if you're interested in buying some

Merry Christmas everyone,

Tim


$10,000+$300 Main Event

Steal City 25%

SakiSaki 5%

andrew song 10%

adam001 10%



$1000+$100 6 Max

jamie 25%

mipwnya 25%


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So I wanted to post all the graphs and stuff and brag about my wins, but when I told my GF she just flipped me off.
And she is right, I always talk about how much I have won today and about the Porshe I will get, and now I made her monthly part-time salary in 2 days, when I am in fact just a 1.5bb/100 long term winner because of my endless spews.

Her words of wisdom: Its just a game, don't think about your roll ('poker money' in her words) as real money, you can't even afford a proper TV and bitch about $100 jacket being too expensive. Stop thinking about the supercar you will maybe get in X years just focus on getting better. The money turns real only if you have it your bank account.

When I told her about my table selection where I play only on tables with 'free money' and the worst players I can find and I spend half of my time swapping/monitoring tables and changing seats she just ask: But how do you learn and improve?

I don't know where the hell she got all this from, I just want to say I love my GF



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I can't take it, I've ran 19 BI's under EV last 10k hands. On top of that, ppl are running like fucking insane monsters on steroids in 3bet pots. I've just ran so insanely bad in every aspect of the game.
Even so, I should still be up a couple BI's if it wasn't for the fact that I've ran 19 BI's below

Maybe it's normal in plo? idk..

I tilted today for the first time in a very, very long time. spewed off one BI and then I quit. ugh, fuckin ugh is all i feel atm. It's just so insanely frustrating.

I guess it's back to nl, at least i've found some material and good videos to watch...

/end whine


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"COLUMBIA, S.C. - A South Carolina priest missed the $1 million top prize in a poker tournament to be televised this weekend but he won $100,000 for his church and he hopes his participation gives viewers a "fun twist" on their perceptions of the priesthood."

http://www.philly.com/philly/wires/ap/entertainment/television/79921862.html

if only this catches on, I hope it gets advertised a lot


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Ok. So. What's the whole hype about Avatar? I'll give you that it was a pretty fun fantasy movie. But... I feel like the obsession with Avatar is tantamount to what Twilight is to girls...(OMGZ COOL DRAGONZ I WANT ONE!!!11!!one)

Lol. And as for Xblink, sure I know everyone is saying he's on a sick heater and he just slipped through the net of variance by playing his entire roll the whole time and bagging it up. Apparently he started through his last $11 on a MTT sng and won. And BAM next time you know, he's acing it up with the big boys up at 100/200. But if you look at PTR, I honestly don't understand how he can go all in preflop with hands like Q9 suited...and win?? Is AP really that soft??

Update with my own personal game! I'm responding to everyone's comments (and thanks for reading btw!) and asked responded with questions to your comments as well. So if you've been commenting, please read my responses too! I've hit my $100 at NL2 but paid off my very kind benefactor who lent me the $20 to start off =P. (Thanks edzwoo). So now I'm at a $80 or so roll again and about to move up! The only thing is...I'm about to hit the end of the road with my HEM. =(
And I sure as heck don't have the bankroll to withdraw and buy the program haha. Thinking about DL'ing PT3 for its free trial to last me a while but can I shift all the stats over...?

Overall, getting more used to the pace of 16-18 tables FR. My VPIP/PFR has dropped from around 35/19 when I first started to ~15/10. Before playing online, I've never even heard of stats like VPIP/PFR and even right now, I'm not very clear on which numbers mean what range of hands played. Am I a nit? What do the stats say about me, if anything? What numbers correlate to "fishy" and what numbers (at higher stakes) say more about regs? I figure if I have the tools to see the numbers, I want to know how they interpret players.

And ofc. Graph.

http://www.liquidpoker.net/user_pictures/5e96a.NL2Dec2709.jpg

GL to the tourney players on Stars today!


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Well im like 11k VPP's away from my 200k milestone since i had to go away for 4 days over xmas, just got back home and now i gotta get these vpps before jan.

Since the FR games are likely going to be somewhat tighter cos of mass nits doing the same thing as me i estimate its going to be like 40k hands or something for 11k vpps...

So it will be a fun next few days, hopefully nothing goes wrong. Literally just got in now, gunna chill for a bit, watch the rest of the man utd match then grindddddddddddd


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A belated Merry Christmas to everybody. Why is it so cold in Europe?

http://www.liquidpoker.net/user_pictures/3476b.25001 to 50k.jpg

Switched databases from PT3 to HEM and sites from Pokerstars to Full Tilt/Party. Moved up to 100NL around hand 16000, and I'm trying not to be so stationy and spewy.

Time to go eat some leftover carp and potato salad. Good luck at the tables.



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First day on FTP:

http://www.liquidpoker.net/user_pictures/a816c.swwing.jpg

Thank you, i have to move down. Fuck this shit.


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Well, yesterday I got a few hours to play some sit+gos. I tried a few, from the smaller 18/27man sit+gos to 45/90mans. Well it turned into a complete fucking disaster. I had like 18 sit+gos going (Stacked), and I played complete and utterly terrible. Could not focus enough to make this amount profitable. So after that fuck up. I cut down the amount to 6-10 so it was tiled on two screens. Didn't exactly play brilliant. Realized I do not play particularly well in the smaller sit+gos.

So today started grinding the 180 mans. I made a ton of profit on these in the past, and stopped when I probably should have continued grinding. Tried the cheap $2 turbo 180mans, but wow, these are just brutal. I am getting my hand in good preflop or on the flop and getting smacked in the face on turn/river faaar too much. Its not variance as such, it is just players call TP ANY kicker all in in these, and so many times keep getting outered. Fucking brutal.

Also I do not think I can play these turbos particularly well. Been searching the internet for any good guides on how to dominate the turbo 180mans. I think my problem is I am shoving my stack in too early. I mean I am used to MTT play where 10-15bb is like shove or fold. But in turbos I think you gotta hold out bit longer than that, because peoples calling range is sooo fucking ridic wide its practically any 2 in the deck, usually suited, even if it is for the tourney life too. Its crazy. So, I dunno. Staying away from the turbos for a while yet.

Not made any significant results yet. To be hounest its been pretty dam poor. But I feel much more comfortable in these $4 180 man sit+gos, there are still plenty of terrible players, but its not AS crazy as turbos. So grinding these plus all the micro MTTs.

Schedule tonight (GMT):

18:00 - $5.50 - 20k GTD
19:00 - $11 - Daily 30k
19:00 - $3.30 - 1.5k GTD
19:15 - $3.3+r - 50k gtd rebuy
19:45 - $1 - World Record $300k GTD
20:30 - $11 - Sunday 1/4 Million GTD

Playing $4 180man SNGs amongst all this too.


Gonna not post any hands or results this week. Untill it is over, and the look at the damage.

Happy New Year


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Since the banks dont work past 4 days they didnt transfer my money from MB to Electron and im out of cash in the Electron already.Im also sick and cant play poker coz i ll just lose cash which is obv. -EV so can anyone pay my WoW account for a month - 13 euro i will give him the cash in Moneybookers in next ~6hrs ( thats how much it takes for the money to come from poker to mb )
Would really appreciate it


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Im crushing NL5 atm. Im really rolled for NL10 with 35BIs, but every shot of NL10 always end up pretty bad. I usually drop back to NL5 after two straight big losses. I guess theres a few big differences that I still need to adapt between these limits:
- There seems to be way more short stackers in NL10. You dont really see many in NL5
- 3bets happen more often

I saw the previous blog and though it would be a good idea to compare my stats between the my two limits.

NL5
http://www.liquidpoker.net/user_pictures/d238b.NL5.png

NL10
http://www.liquidpoker.net/user_pictures/1afde.NL10.png

Holes I see atm:
- Need to 3bet more often in both limits
- My pfr is pretty low too o_O
- Need to steal blinds more
- Probably folding too much in NL10, red line is pretty shit

Stuff im not too sure about:
- Should I be playing more hands? Maybe looser on the button (~20% like NL5)

I know sample size isn't that much better but if anyone can find anything else please let me know thanks :D



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my friend doesn't have credit/debit card so i wanna transfer him funds
but it says i cant because he needs to have prior.. deposits
+ for some reason that gift certificate thing isn't working for me, so.

- is there another way to transfer
- Is it ok if i log in his account and deposit directly? ( pretty sure it's not)
~30$ USD


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http://img23.imageshack.us/img23/5831/122609.jpg


this was todays session. i was 6 tabling 10NL.

i know i have shit loads of leaks. mybe the numbers can help me narrow down where to look? if something sticks out let me know =)


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http://img140.imageshack.us/img140/8735/dec09sessions.png

http://img34.imageshack.us/img34/280/dec09graph.jpg

So after a bad start to the month, Stars gave me a nice boomswitch. I'm still running under all-in EV and getting more than my fair share of QQ < KK/AA, but every time I sit down at a table, there seems to be a 50 VPIP calling station on my right. My bluffs have been getting lots of respect and my value bets looked up light. It's been a very nice end of the month. Of course, my volume blows and I'm still kinda scared to play NL100 (damn it's full of short stackers).

Next year I'm definitely going for Supernova and planning to get 600 VPPs/day and play 1500-2000 hands of NL100 (4-6 tabling) a day to achieve that. I should hit SN by July, which will be even easier if I can move up to 1/2 before then. 200k VPPs is the goal for the year, but planning that far in advance is somewhat unrealistic. If I suck and put in half that volume, I should still make Supernova by the end of the year.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year LP! May next year be fun and profitable.


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pretty deep in a tourney, 6.5k entrants, 725 left....what do u do?
i only have 20 hands on this person so its not even worth posting stats...raised 1 or 2 hands only, hasnt played many hands

Submitted by : biabiaflexer

PokerStars Game #37225200208: Tournament #241010496, $10+$1 USD Holdem No Limit - Level XVIII (500/1000) - 2009/12/26 17:14:11 ET
Table 241010496 435 9-max Seat #8 is the button
Seat 1: lNormaJean (31320 in chips)
Seat 2: Jetom (30564 in chips)
Seat 3: hellraiserQ9 (34610 in chips)
Seat 5: Golf5.:R32 (22425 in chips)
Seat 6: vicsi23 (27398 in chips)
Seat 7: Hero (49724 in chips)
Seat 8: TheTyfoon (34586 in chips)
Seat 9: eduardodufas (48448 in chips)
lNormaJean: posts the ante 125
Jetom: posts the ante 125
hellraiserQ9: posts the ante 125
Golf5.:R32: posts the ante 125
vicsi23: posts the ante 125
Hero: posts the ante 125
TheTyfoon: posts the ante 125
eduardodufas: posts the ante 125
eduardodufas: posts small blind 500
lNormaJean: posts big blind 1000

Holecards
Dealt to Hero
Jetom: calls 1000
hellraiserQ9: folds
Golf5.:R32: folds
djgeter is connected
vicsi23: raises 4000 to 5000
djgeter has returned
Hero: calls 5000
TheTyfoon: folds
eduardodufas: folds
lNormaJean: folds
Jetom: folds

Flop (Pot : $13,500.00)

   
vicsi23: checks
Hero: bets 7000
vicsi23: raises 15273 to 22273 and is all-in
Hero: ?????

I've booked a trip to thailand, I will arrive Jan 15th and return Feb 16th. Anyone over there? Anyone been there? Any advice or thoughts are welcome!

Also check out this e-book I found earlier today, its really good http://www.artoftravel.com/

more later


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edit: done


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