wasted a couple of years of my life I guess, got hardly anything to show for it except a permanently stress-shriveled brain really.
going to take an indefinite break could be short or long
variance is the farthest thing from mild in this game.. just a headsup
damn I tried so hard
bleh I could be back quickly but im not going to try to make any predictions.
now to face infinite shame as I try to rebuild every aspect of my life as well as face my peers.. i only hope I have the strength of mind left to get back on my feet
i might come back and blog a bit about my time spent as a poker player but idk if I have the energy
thank you to all of you who put forth encouragement, hand advice, etc. over the years.
Holy shit, this is so inspiring, emotional, and flat out amazing. In 18 days these people were able to remove a 30 year dictator through mass protests and true people power. Democracy attained by the people, not by the barrel of a gun. Dictators the world over are shaking in their boots.
Watch the livestream, it's fantastic. An hour since the announcement and they're still celebrating like it just happened.
... ran pretty good made little over 8 buyins ($206.90). 3169 hands and 85$ in rake wow. Most I've been raked so far. Will put in another session later tonite, but will chill and play some BW on iccup first.
= +10.1k month. Good overall I guess. At least I'm keeping the 5 digit streak going.
Feb I planned to grind like mad, but with that downswing and with college starting again (I had no idea it started on the 3rd already I was even planning on make the sickest prop bet ever for february), I have little time to play, so SNE is getting impossible. I still have hopes tho, will try to get to 100k this month and take it from there. Also breaking up with my gf last sunday didn't rly help my mindset
Hi, Been lurking around for a month or so now and figure I should make a blog. Mostly this post is just to say hello and introduce myself but gonna put my Poker goals for the year down here at the bottom so I can look back and see how close I came or how far I surpassed them at the end of the year.
I'm currently playing 10nl 6max, I was a 100nl player and probably winning a bit because of rakeback about a year maybe year and a half ago. Then I moved up to 200nl got owned and sort of ragequitted. But I guess I'm an addict cause I'm back to give poker another go. Hopefully I won't make the same mistakes as last time and be successful.
That pretty much sums up me and my poker history. Cya at the tables and gl hf.
2010 Poker Goals
-Be a winning 100nl player at the end of the year
-Learn basics of other Poker games(omaha/stud/whatever else)
-Stop calling river check raises against players who never bluff its so fucking bad
-Stop playing if you get tilted.
Haven't been feeling to well the past 2 days so the volume hasn't really been there. Feeling better today so hopefully I'll get in a big day.
Since the starting the stake over Tuesday:
Played: 25 $6.60 90 man KO's
Profit: $9
Got one win in there and one small cash. I feel like I've been bubble boy alot which I'll chalk up to variance for now. Plan on a big session today though.
That being said I've started playing WOW again. And I'm actually really proud of how I'm handling it right now. I know that sounds dumb, but if any of you have played it, you know that its easy to find yourself on 15 hours straight and not even realize it. I've been playing but in moderation. I absolutely have to make sure I do not get involved with raiding, because that is what eats your soul the most.
So it's week 2 since I've begun. (Look @ Previous entry if you dont know)
I was going to update on Week 1 but I was at my girlfriend's and felt lazy to do so, so I'll recap here.
Anyways, I've gotten off PlayMoney and finally started cash on PS.
Depositing $15 to start with @ $0.02/$0.05NLHE I'm not doing TOO bad.
Been only been playing about 3 hours now and I'm up $4.00.
Though in those 3 hours I've dipped to about $7ish but I've managed to scrape my way back up - your right though, cash and playmoney are 2 totally different playstyles.
I'm continuing to read up on articles here and there, familiarizing myself more with fundamentals and such. Times I lose hands are when I'm an idiot and decide to call with losing hands - which brought me back to the basic rule (@ this stage) of "Winning by playing less hands". Playing real tight and overlooking the process as a bigger picture.
Yes I know the math is google-able but I still don't understand just by reading it. I'm more of a practical person - or maybe I'm just a dummy who can't do simple poker math?
Anyhow, it's 4:30 in the morning and I'm going to stop playing for tonight before I start losing, and will pick up tomorrow afternoon&night again.
NOTE: I'm still trying to figure out the math in all this though - right now I'm kind of playing by sense and strong hands, not really knowing the percentage & math of this.
If anyone would be kind enough to take their own time explaining it to me over MSN or something? Would be greatly appreciated!!!
Crap, I got sick. I missed 3 or 4 days, no bueno in a month that already has only 28 days. Feeling a bit better finally, so I will start grinding the shit out of this game and get to 600K by end of feb. GL at the tables y'all.
A little peak in my wordpad documentsby Mariuslol, February 09
Hey, decided to clean up my pc, found lots of my old wordpad documents. Way to much to just throw it all up here, but thought I'd toss up a little here and there since a lot of you guys seem to appreciate my blogs, gives me an awesome feeling aswell <3
Oh, I'm putting it in spoilers. Some people might not be interested or care about some of it, then they don't have to scroll past it or annoy themself, simply don't klick the spoiler =]
1 - Think for yourself. Very confident people know what they are doing is right, usually because they created an original thought rather than attempting to reproduce from an external source.
2 - Make a list of special talents you have, or things you do that are good.
3 - Find your passion.
4 - Chose a role model.
5 - Focus on others. Try not to focus negatively on how you come across or how others may perceive you. Instead, focus more on the outside world rather than just your internal world, and that will build your confidence as other people start enjoying your company.
6 - Accept compliments gratefully. Don't roll your eyes and say, "yeah, right," or shrug it off. Take it to heart and respond positively. (Thank you, and a smile works well).
7 - Know that you have important things to say and do. When you feel strongly about something, speak loudly and clearly and make eye contact with people, be yourself.
8 - Take care of yourself. Eat healthy (CHECK), Don't abuse you body ( I DONT, except for bad sleep patterns), and don't deny any of the things it need. At the same time don't obsess. Confidence comes from within, not from products. Take the time to reflect on your life and do some emotional maintenance. In order to be truly confident, you absolutely must value yourself and understand that your well-being is important.
9 - Work out. This is a real fast change. The gym can transofmr even the last geek. It will help you to be who you are, and not be afraid of it. That's the real confidence. Getting enough exercise can boost your confidence amazingly. Not only will it give you more energy throughout the day, but being in good physical shape will make you feel more "worthy" you could say, to talk to other and be yourself.
10 - Stick up for yourself. If people put you down (and not in a good-natured, joking way), then let them know that their opinion of you is not held by everyone-most of all, yourself. This may at first be hard to do. But once you stick up for yourself a few times, your confidence builds and you get more adept at it.
11 - Celebrate your individuality. f you know you'ev got something special or different, then embrace it, don't hide it. That's diversity. You may wish that you were taller, shorter, skinnier, stronger, whatever it may be, but realize that, if you were like everyone else, then you wouldn't be who you are, and what am I? The answer is easy. You're Unique individual who's capable of growing and learning.
12 - Take action. Tackling a task, something you may have been procrastinating, tidying up, writing a letter, fix something, clean something, etc. Or any classes you might want to take, things you want to learn, so forth.
13 - Improve posture. Don't slouch or slump your shoulders. Make sure your back is straight, your shoulders are square, and your chest is puffed out slightly, but stay loose. Keep your chin up and your eyes forward than looking at the ground.
14 - Make a conscious effort to smile often. A smile makes you appear warm, honest, friendly and confident. You can also relax your facial muscles entirely, which will make you appear calm and relaxed. Observe in the mirror, to make sure you don't have a tense or nervous facial expression, if you do others may think you're sad angry or uncomfortable.
15 - Make eye contact with others, especially when engaging in conversation. Gaze into the other person's eyes as you talk to make yourself seem interested, calm and confident. Avoiding eye contact makes you appear shy and submissive, while staring too long may make you appear angry or scared. So the best advice is gaze into a person's eyes as you converse with them while occasionally shifting your gaze or looking around.
16 - Control your hand motions. When it comes to gesturing with your hands, keeping your hands far apart and your palms open makes you appear open and honest.
Pointing with your fingers and bringing your hands closer together can draw emphasis to what you are saying. Don't overuse hand gestures or you'll look nervous and unstable. Avoid wringing your hands or touching your sleeves, as these things cane make you appear nervous, tense or even dishonest.
Shaking hands, firm grip with a man, and as gentle as the woman if a female!!
17 - Put a little struth into your walk. Move like you have a purpose, and keep your knees slightly bent to avoid appearing stiff or rigid.
18 - Act confident, even if you don't truly feel it. After a while it will come naturally. Also learn not to care what other people think of you. Don't let anyone bring you down. People are just jealous, and intending to put you down, don't let anyone slow your progress.
19 - Smile and talk loudly and clearly, making jokes and being generally happy. Don't moan or be over confident, people hate that so much
20 - Be kind to everyone, even if you don't like them. No matter who they are, just be nice. That way you will seem warm, friendly, caring and kind.
"Frown and you frown alone, but smile and the whole world smiles with you."
1 - Practice good hygiene. Brush teeth, get good breath, polishing at the dentist so forth.
You'll make a better impression, and you'll feel more confident.
2 - Get comfortable with smiling. A lot of people are a little nervous about smiling. People think it makes you vulnerable, it does a little, but that's part of what makes it so powerful, people almost ALWAYS respond better to a smile.
3 - Think happy thoughts. The easiest way to a great smile is to be happy. (Someone you care about, a joke you find hillarious. Remarkably, when you're feeling down, smiling can help cheer you up, even if you have to coa a smile at first.
4 - Smile with your eyes. Your cheekbones lift slightly and your eyebrows dip a little, you know it when you see it, your eyes lighting up, or twinkling. Play around in front of a mirror, cover up your face if you have to. Remember how it feels like when you get it right, and you'll be able to smile with your eyes at will.
5 - Develop your smile, find the picture where you smile the best and most contagious, focus on what your smile is doing, then practice in the mirror till you get it just right. Soon it will become second nature, and you'll look more photogenic in your next batch of pictures.
* Try showing only your upper teeth when you smile
* Being your smile with your eyes, once our eyes are smiling, they tend to pull your whole face into natural, beautiful smile
* Ever laughed hysterically? Now, laugh slightly and now you have a natural pretty smile
* A lot of men feel uncomfortable about smiling at strangers, especially at other males. If that's the case just offer a casual Hi, or Hi man, or sup. It works just as well, and feels less awkward for a lot of guys.
* If you have a tooth that pokes out a bit at the side, as many ppl do, try to get your lip to go above it so your lip doesn't catch on the tooth when you smile
Warnings!!! A fake smile can make you look phony, nervous or even dangerous
Don't have things stuck in your teeth
1 - Listen to the rhythm
You can pick up the beat by counting to four repeatedly (one, two, three, four, one two, three, four...) Do this out loud.
If the music doesn't fit, you may find yourself counting to three
2 - Bob your head to the rhythm.
If the beat is on the slower side, you can bob your head so that your chin is down at every count. If the beat is faster, your chin will be down on two of the counts and up on the other two.
Do this gently, this isn't headbanging.
The idea is to get part of your body physically moving with the rhythm. As your movements gets more complicated, you might "lose" the rhythm, and you should always return to this step if that happens.
3 - Shift your weight between your feet.
You can continue bobbing your head, but don't stop counting yet. Shift all of your weight to one foot (you can lift the other foot slightly of the ground to make sure all your weight is off of it.).
At every other count (preferable 1 and 3) shift your weight completly to the other foot. You can do it every other count, but you get more comfortable starting out slow before you dance fast.
Keep your lets "loose" and bed your knees slightly; there should be a little bit of "bounce" to your weight shift, and a subtle bounce (in place) on the counts when you aren't shifting your weight as well.
4 - Move your feet. Once you're shifting your weight to the rhythm, practice moving your feet.
Right before you shift your weight to a foot, move it slightly, even just an inch or two from where it was before. (start with very small movements)
Keep the music on, keep counting, keep moving a little bit with each time you shift your weight (at every other count).
When you move your foot, keep it close to the ground. You can kick your feet up in the air later, when you're letting loose.
5 - Move your hips. When you put your weight on a foot, move your hips (and your body) slightly in the direction of that foot.
( You move shift weight to the right foot, you move your hips to the right)
You can twist your body slightly to add a little more movement: When you move to the right, put your right shoulder forward a little and left shoulder back, and vice versa for when you move to the left.
(Note, that this range of movement, hip movement, twisitn, swiveling is usually exaggerated by women to emphasize the female form).
6 - Throw your hands in the air. This is the part that indicates to people that you're having fun. If you're uncomfortable, the tendency is to hold them close or let them hang limp.
Instead, move your arms around. Keep your hands open or in very loose fists, but never stiff (unless ur doing robot). Throw them up 8-12 counts, then in front of you for 8-12. Then at your side for 8-12 counts, like when ur running, keep switching it up. If you're dancing with someone, you can put your handso n their shoulders, waist or hips.
7 - Lose yourself in the music. Let your body move naturally to the rhythm. You want to look smooth rather than jerky and stiff.
Just go back to step one when you lose it
8 - Practice dancing whenever you have the chance. Kitchen, bedroom, anywhere, will make you feel more comfortable in your body. Watch yourself in a mirror to get an idea what looks good and what doesn't
TIPS: it helps to learn to dance to your favourite music, especially if you memorize and sing along to the lyrics. and you'll have more fun with music you enjoy
* When you go out, remember, ur there to have fun and so is everyone else, no1 is judging you on how you dance. If your esteem is low, ur body language will reflect this, so go out and have FUN
* Study, watch scenes from movies, tv shows, music shows, and pay attention to what is going on. Pay attention and pick up all the standard moves that go again and again
* Take a class
* watch other dancers
* smile and look like you're having fun, add faces and be lively
* its always easier to dance when it's dark, because you feel less self conscious
* bring a friend who is a terrible dancer but just doesn't care
Happiness seems to whittle down to your outlook on life, and the quality of your relationships with the people around you. To be happy you should know what to love and how much.
1 - Be optimistic. Largely boils down to how you think. Everyone has a baseline happiness, so if you win the lottery, when it's past, you'll go down to the level of happiness you usually had.
2 - Follow your gut. When you have a decision to make, and you're down to a few options, just pick the one that feels right and go with it.
3 - Make enough money to meet your basic needs:
Food, shelter and clothing. In the US that magic number is 40.000$ a year. Any money you make beyond that will have negligible effects on your happiness.
Once over that, your happiness is not significantly affected how much you make, but by your level of optimism.
(Comfort may increase with salary, but comfort doesn't make people happy, it makes people bored. That's why it's important to push beyond your comfort zone to fuel your growth as a person).
4 - Stay close to friends and family. Our relationships with our friends and family have a far greater impact on our happiness than our jobs do.
5 - Find happiness in the job you have now. If you have a positive outlook, you will make the best of any job, and if you have good relationships with people, you won't depend on your job to give your life a greater sense of meaning. You'll find it in your interactions with the people you care about.
This doesn't mean you shouldn't aspire towards a job that will make you happier; it makes you understand that the capacity of your job to make you happy is quite small in comparison to your outlook on life and your relationships with people.
6 - Smile. Whether you feel happy or not, your mood will be elevated. So smile all the time. In addition having enough money to pay the bills allows you to focus your energies on more productive aspects of your life, such as the pursuit of happiness as opposed to keeping the "wolves from the door".
7 - Stop worrying. If you spend all your time worrying, you'll miss out on the fun side of life. Take it easy once in a while, and just relax.
8 - Be grateful for what you have. Think about the less fortunate. Volunteer at a food bank or give some itesm to Goodwill. It'll boost your confidence quick.
9 - Have more mirrors. Look in them as much as possible, no matter how unattractive you think you are. And every time you look into it and see yourself, smile at yourself.
10 - Start something. A club, a program. Fan club, whatever, toss a small party. Something light and happy to get your mind off things, and to hang out with other people who can help you relax and feel better.
* When you can't seem to be positive or cheerful, do something silly, something crazy. Turn up the music, start jumping, dancing, screaming, whatever pops into mind. Change something, eat something different, something that can lift of your mood, and be glad you did it.
Try some of the following <3
- Express gratitude
- Tell someoen that you appreciate them
- Reflect on your blessings
- Write a thank you note
- Savor life's joys
- Take pleasure in your senses
- Celebrate small victories
- See beauty in the everyday
- Be optimistic
- Think about past accomplishments
- Visualize your best possible future
- Identify and replace negative thoughts
- Nurture social relationships
- Listen
- Spend more time with friends
- Show more affection
- Increase experiences
- Pursure your passions
- Challenge yourself
- Absorb yourself in an activity
- Practice spirituality
- Voulenteer at a chairty
- Meditate
- Reflect
- Take care of your body
- Eat well
- Unwind
- Take up a new sport
- Develop strategies for coping
- Find value in negative events
- Talk through it
- Write about your experiences
No matter how beautiful you are (I'm really beautiful) or how good a conversationalist you can be, if you look intimidating, preoccupied or scared, people might not be inclined to talk to you. Here's how to use your body language to look more friendly and approachable.
1 - Be aware of what your body is saying. You don't have to actually say anything to communicate a message to others. Unfortunately, your body may not always say what you want it to.
If youre gestures and posture are saying "I'm too busy", "leave me alone," it's not likely people will approach you. Other people watch your body for clues, so it's important to pay attention to what clues you're displaying.
2 - Open up. When people are uncomfortable in a situation they have a tendency to display closed body language. Examples include folding your arms in front of you, hunching over, positioning your body so that you're angled away from others. These signals imply that you'd rather be left alone.
If you're rather not be left alone, make sure you're displaying open body language by angling yourself toward other people, sitting or standing with an upright (but not stiff) posture, and uncrossing your arms.
3 - Use your eyes. Not only your window to the world, they're also other people's window into you. If you bury your head in a book, stare at the floor, or look up at the ceiling, you close that window. If you want to look friendly and approachable, scan your environment with your eyes, and don't be afraid to make eye contact with people.
4 - Smile. A warm, inviting smile can put anyone at ease, and it also makes you look like you're havign a great time, which makes people want to be around you and get in on the fun.
Be sure to smile often during small talk. It lets people know you appreciate talking to them. Smile with your eyes. When you get eye contact, don't stare or glare. Soften your eye expression and make your eyes smile or twinkle.
The eyes are actually more important than the mouth to what most people consider a "genuine" smile.
5 - Beware self-comfort gestures. Nervouesness manifests itself in body language in many ways. Important not to be nervous if you really want to socialize and meet people.
Touching your hand to your face, especially putting it over your mouth, or if you have a drink, holding your glass by the mouth can give the impression you're not interested in talking to them.
Metronomic gestures such as foot tapping, can signal impatience or boredom, so people may think you don't have time to talk or aren't interested in conversation.
Other nervous habits picking at your cutcles or biting your fingernails can also make you appear distant or lost in thought.
Once again, just pay attention to what your body is saying, and you can avoid putting up these barriers.
6 - Approach others. If people aren't approaching you, why not go to them? Nothing makes you look more outgoing and approachable than actively seeking out people and talking to them.
If you're in an environment where you don't know anybody, the longer you wait alone, the more uncomfortable you're bound to feel.
7 - Adress any deeper issues. Your body language usually communicates your deepest emotions at any given time, and it's not easy to fake body language.
The best way to look approachable, then, is to actually enjoy yourself in social interactions. If you feel anxious in social settings, or if you're uncomfortable around the opposite gender, get over your anxiety by seeking out oppertunities to interact with people. If you have espectially strong social anxiety (common), you may find it helpful to seek out counserling or talk to your doctor.
Tips:
* Aside from body language, other elements of your appearance can affect how you approachable you look.
Dressing in clothing in light/bright colors with textures that look soft to the touch will make you stand out more in a crowd and look more approachable.
* In a social situation, such as a party, offer to help out in some way.
Excellent tasks: Cutting vegetables, washing dishes, keeping the music going, picking up used plates
* Position yourself for conversation. If people are sitting, don't stand, position yourself so that you can comfortable talk.
A lot of the stuff I like learning about is often about areas I feel I've been lacking, since most of my life I've been gaming. I think you get a bit introverted when you spend a lot of time at the computer, but I found out by learning about it, the confidence and outgoingness (wonder if that's a word) happens so much easier and faster with some knowledge to back you up whenever you feel like changing the scenery.
Hoping to continue to post more frequently, all the best <3
My (former) room mate moved out yesterday. Within 24 hours I got a girlfriend. The thing I said about him being the worst wing man in history seems to hold true.
"But I tell you that I can't live in service
Like the doctor who was born for a purpose
Rudie can't fail"
So if any of you are animal experts, my dog has the worst, most god awful farts ever. How do I fix this. Switched foods, and it did absolutely nothing. It's VERY difficult to breath right now. Help before I suffocate.
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Anyway january ended up like this, ok for ~10 days of play:
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