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is there a site like oficial poker ranking or sharkscop for UB tournaments?

i mainly play there and I would like to know my numbers in paper and shit


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Me and my roommate whom I work with decided today that we wanted to "trip balls" off of cough syrup because we had never done it. Today was a sick easy day for us work wise and we had almost if not all of our planned shit done by noon, so at noon we headed to walgreens and after some premeditated research by myself i knew exactly what we would need.

Robotussin DM.

We each bought a 12oz bottle and paid at seperate cashiers and came back to our place to down it before lunch, we had no idea how much to take nor did we really care, so we took ~10oz of the bottles.

At first I thought this was some really cheap beer buzz, it sucked and i was dissapointed. Apparently this shit takes some real time to kick your ass though, because by the time an hour had passed I was taking care of my friend who was progressing though the stages of it much faster than I was. He was convinced that his entire body itched and was using everything he could find to scratch himself, at this point im at a really loopy drunken state feeling, but im not near his state. He's hallucinating shit and most specifically that he's a knight so he starts galloping towards a box with a wooden dowel in his hand and jousts the box, the wooden dowel busts in half and cuts his hand. He then puts the two sharp points together and is convinced that the missing part is in his hand, we go to find our boss to take him to the hospital but then we realize that he's just hallucinating and we go back to where we were. Me and him start discussing things like "Dude, I'm almost positive that this is all a dream" "What if none of this is real?" "What if you aren't real?" etc etc LOL

Right around now im peaking out in my DMX high and i lay down and have a dream that im not sure to this momemt was real or wtf it was, but it was really important to my life as how it's played out so far, really spiritual and shit and stuff, but I at this moment seriously can't remember any of it.

I'm pretty sure i called some people and talked to them and I can only imagine the things I told them, that I teleported to my room or something... I'm still really really fucked up and loopy feeling but this is an experience that I'll never forget.

Something that started as a joke and in the end i got more fucked up than I've ever been in my life, pretty fucking ridiculous.


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No-limit advisor

http://pokerzion.com/No-Limit%20advisor.asp

PokerZion's No-limit Advisor is FREE of charge to all registered members of our site, including free trial members. The No-limit Advisor is a great tool for understanding a variety of pre-flop & post-flop situations for full ring play. It is specifically designed for small stakes players who play buy-in limits of 100NL or below. It is a proven winning strategy if used properly.

Poker Stats: If you follow the advisor on almost every pre-flop play, then your poker stats will look something like the following: VPIP: 14-16% - PFR: 8-11% - WTSD: 21-24% BB/100: 2BB-10BB

Notes about stats: This is a rounded average mean range based on many students who have used the advisor. These stats for full ring play are not the absolute most optimal, however they are a winning strategy that will allow you to learn and expand your game as you get more comfortable at the poker table.

Download Information: To download and use the no-limit advisor, simply choose an access level from below and sign-up. You will then be given access to download the advisor.

Download link: http://pokerzion.com/poker_forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=2338



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maybe i am just not cut out for poker?

i am around 28500 hands now and still going absolutely no where, i started around 150 and currently am sitting around 177.

it was suggested to me that perhaps i was playing too tightly, so tried to adjust my play, i believe i play around 15% of hands now and raise 7-10% preflop.

anyway, it still feels like overpair or TPTK vs set is the bane of my poker existence.

today i had kings over a set, queens over a set, kk v aa preflop twice (on 2 different tables at the same time -_- )
JJJ over 222...

i should be able to get myself out of the situations when im beat by a set when i have something like kk or qq, maybe? because i can put overpairs on possible hands as well?

*sigh*

and i do see other people post things where over 10,000 hands they skyrocket, right? so ..

this one was my personal favorite hand.

the fucking guy doesnt shove on the river, and took about 30 seconds to call me. i dont think he was multitabling. what the fuck.

http://www.liquidpoker.net/h/417588

anyway, maybe im supposed to be profiting from well placed cbets and lots of awesome folds in the meantime, and not rely on monster hands, but everyone tells me i need to stack off in nl5, right?

i want to cry


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I hate to whine post but this is getting stupid. I cannot win with AA. I have been repeatedly ass-raped with Aces at 200NL. Other than that I feel like I can definitely beat the limit. I have made money somehow after losing over 1k with AA. I seriously have a 62% win-rate with AA. Wtf?

I don't think I'm misplaying it? I think there are some calls here that are not great, but nothing that is that bad. Not to mention getting pwned by KK twice today.

If you want to witness the reaming, check below:

+ Show Spoiler +

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Didnt play any poker the last days.

Did spend some money though.
on new clothes ( 260€ / 400$ ) some nice T-shirts and longsleeves
will also spend some money ~260$ on MMA gear the next days ( fairtex nhb gloves,Sprawl Shorts // Rushguard + some BJJ books )
and i also purchased a Leggopoker membership6month ( 230$)

Felt like spending some money ( ofc for things that make sense) after realizing i havent bought anything big the last 2 years.

I guess i was living pretty economically the last 2 years after realizing in shock that i spend ~ 5000$ on drums and drumming from my 16th to 20th year ^^

Concerining the Leggopoker membership.
many may argue , that it is too early since i am still ~ Nl30 // NL50 newb
well i ve watched the free sample videos and i was quite impressed about the detailed information with which they were not only commenting their game but furthermore talking about general things that could benefit to your game.
I also was pleased that in these videos u could see the players get into difficult spots and giving detailed information on the different options to proceed in those spots.

I think their NL100 videos and Nl200 videos will also benefit my NL50 game.
AT least its worth a try for no even 1 buy in /month

Updates on the girl :
Didnt date her yet ... ( she became sick last days T_T)
But overall things look good since were talking a lot about all kind a different things that u would never talk with people u dont like so i feel good vibration ^^


Also i surprisingly got a message from Shanghai today

A former classmate msged me that she will come back to germany next month and that we could meet for some smalltalk if i am interested.
Havent seen her in years but its nice when old friends still remember you after all the years being on the other site of the world ^^
thats some pictures of her
http://www.shanghai.oiikes.at/images/JPEG/5919.jpg

with her boyfriend >-<

http://www.shanghai.oiikes.at/images/JPEG/5201.jpg

http://www.shanghai.oiikes.at/images/JPEG/4779.jpg
.
.
I played starcraft today

lol , and i finally could understand when years ago most of my friends refused to train this game.

Back in early 2003 i was introduced to starcraft by a RL friend ( drug dealer) who was also kinda friend of Sol.VespinGesyrSelector
This guy (the Dealer named Chris) introduced all my drug friends to starcraft at that time.
So we drunk some beers smoked some pot and then started to play some starcraft games on B.net vs each other.
We were 4 people who were 25apm newbs not beating the Computer and 3 relativly better guys ( 3x BWCL2 players)
We had hell a fun. But after 1 month it started out that i actually developet interest in becomming better in this game than my newb friends and tried to compete with the BWCL friends.

Well its probably just in my nature that i cant do something without feling a sick urge to try improving from total newb to at least medicore ^^
So i joined a clan, i trained at least 20 games a week ( not much compared to nerds ^^ but i only wanted to not be a newb and never had the desire to become really good) and also started to watch replays and talk about strategies and stuff.
my other 3 newb friends stopped playing the game.
I asked them why they dont strat training so that we could have even more fun with the game.
The replied : Putting in a resonable amount of time in a computer game just for the sake of being good at it without getting RL reward is teh sickest waste of time ever.

Well i didnt understand back then and trained BW for 1 year.
Managed to go PGT C- finally before i quit.

After getting raped today in my first 2 B.net games after years of having not touched starcraft i finally understood them.

After the first ZvP where i heavily fucked up my unit control and macro which let into getting overwehelmed by his bigger force my opponent send me a msg :
" LOl u gotta learn to keep producing units when microing"

And i thought like :

i finally understood what my old friends meant back in the days 5 years ago.

okay enough of rnd thoughts


GL
ALL


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edit: dealt with, thanks critterer


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Update: Just hit $100 - NL5 time


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Karo looked great in the first round. But seeing how the second round went it seems thiago was finding his range. Something very curious about thiago. Anderson silva was always a good fighter but it wasn't until the last few years that he found his power. I'm wondering if thiago is the same animal. When i saw him hitting the pads when he was training at my gym he was a beast. Then i learned he cuts like 20 lbs of water. For a 170er that's incredible. Karo was more pissed that he has to wait even longer for his title shot. It wasn't as much of the stoppage imo.

Maynard was like HUGE compared to edgar. I never realized how small edgar was, probably cuz he was able to beat guys like tyson/spencer. Maybe if i had seen that i'd have picked Maynard. In any case i wonder how maynard would do against the wrestling and pace of a sherk. He's got some serious wrestling.

Joe lost cuz he wasn't used to the altitude plain and simple. First round he was doing all sorts of stuff to kenny and i felt he had the advantage. Second round he was gassed and kenny was in shape and against a bjjer of kenny's level he's just gonna mount you and own you. I've lived in colorado for like 11 years now so i don't notice the altitude anymore obviously but people who get here for the first time even if they are in shape are like "wtf" if you don't show up here at least a month or so in advanace or aren't already training high altitude that can be problemsome. I think Joe training in Hilo, HI paid the price for that.

Irvin vs houston went exactly like i predicted. Someone got knocked out in super fast time. But it was a coinflip.

Hammil won and i was pretty happy. After Tim's debut people thought he was gonna be some super beast. But i mean against hammil who's like so freaking strong at 205 i didn't know if that would be the case. Condiditioning played a part in this as Tim did his best to hurt hammil and couldn't finish him and Hammil got on top, i didn't think he'd stop Tim but nice job anyway Matt.

I'm going to do the card for the upcoming ufc as well i need to think it out a bit more though! Omaha is rough shit btw. Set vs wrap variance can get pretty gay.


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So I got speaking to Ket and he laid into me for grinding up from 10nl despite being both able to roll myself at 25nl and having an edge at it. Apparently this kind of thing is hugely bad for progress. Anyway he explained it to me and I got the roll and moved up. And then I got doomswitched and lost over 6 buyins (my stoploss). I wasn't playing badly and I checked a few of the bigger hands with Midian who confirmed they were coolers/beats. It was just one of those sick days where variance decides to take it out on you.
However, today she took pity on me and refunded me the entirity of my losses. While I know your expected outcome is in no way changed by previous luck I just had my second biggest winning day (in about 2 hours of poker, unlike the 10 of my biggest day) after my second biggest losing day. I'm still down a little over about 8k hands so well below my expected profit (I should be doing about 5bb/100) but in far better shape than I was. I definitely ran well today, and although I didn't suck out on anyone I feel that I won about 90% of my money going in on 70%s.


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Live poker is so awesome. So much fun and so profitable when the 10NL internet fish are playing 1/2 (lol...oops =P). Unfortunately, the 1/2 300max is the biggest game around campus, and all the non-regs and cheap donks buy in for 50BB or less, so all the real money is split between the regs. So I do what I can to try and recruit some new fish when I can...and lucky for me, I found a group of some real softies about a month ago who think they have a clue at a weekly tourney a play in (but apparently none of them even know what fold equity is). And they have some deep pockets.

One of these ATMs was at the game this week, and of course he got to a great start by stacking AKhh with QTo OOP with the flopped nuts vs TPTK+NFD after calling a RR for 1/5 of AKs stack. So he had a pretty nice $600 stack from the get-go, and after I had doubled up with the nut flush one hand I could smell blood.

Then he raises to 8 in EP and I look down at AA when it gets to me. 25 to go, effective stacks about 580, I cover. He flats and we see a flop of 894 rainbow, and he checks it to me. I put 45 into the 53 pot, and after about 10 seconds he says, "100 more." Now, he loves the check/raise-check-bet bluff line, and I know he will CR me here with a lot of hands, but I'm trying to think of the best way to get value out of him here and if there is any value in 3betting. So I do a little thinking as I look at him, and then he starts shuffling his cards and then rubbing his neck, 2 big signs of his that tell me I can be 100% sure I have the best hand and that he probably has a hand from TT-JJ, and because he likes to try being a hero, he WILL call me if I push. So then I announce "all in" and go back into my tank. I'm just waiting for the call, and he is sitting there agonizing about how "this would be the worst call I've ever made" and etc, and then finally he says those 2 beautiful words, "I call." I immediately flip over my AA and even think about tipping the dealer before he stands up and reluctantly flips over T9o (LOL). Now I am extremely baffled...I knew he'd be a hero, but not with that kind of hand, and now he is drawing almost 3x better than he would if he had just an OP. I know that some of you may think that this is nothing, but this was by far the biggest pot of my life up to this point at 1164 or whatever it was, and for a 6BI pot I didn't think I'd be sweating so much as a 3-1 favorite.

Then the cards come out. Turn 7. I know it's coming now. River 6. "Are you serious...are you fucking serious" is what everyone else is telling this kid as he puts his hands over his face in embarrasment and sits back down...I just ask him how much more it is, I give him the other 400+, and ask to be dealt out while I go to McDs. Then I go to get some food and cool off.

On the way back up to the apartment from McDs, I'm feeling a little happier now because I can't wait to eat my double cheeseburgers. Then when I get into the elevator up to the room, I notice a sticker above the door as the car begins to stop. It's a sticker for the student book store. And across the bottom, in big bold Penn State blue letters, are the words "Crack The Nuts." Obv I go on immediate lifetilt as I leave the elevator and go back to the room. Bad beat #2.

The best part about this whole situation (and probably the funniest) is that at about 6am that night I got a text message from the kid. Here is the transcript:

From: Scott Poker
"Im really sorry that the worst call in history got there. considering the situation, you took it extremely well. I don't know if this txt was a good idea but/If and it does not look likely but if i build a bankroll then i will give you 500 back. I really am sorry."

So this just managed to tilt me even more, because I know he isn't going to build a bankroll (after seeing that 1200 stack just go down to 500 or so before I left) so I won't ever see that $500, and it just felt like he was putting salt on the wound, but I give him credit for the offer and his intentions were obv good. All I know is that I hope he runs like god some more so I can get my money back XD. Sick life.





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Insights into the month as a whole

Well, it was quite an interesting month in general. While I only played 12k hands I played two live tournaments that took up a couple of days each and a cpl of online ones. Also I had a day where I played terribly, didn't lose THAT much money but butchered an AQ.. I Basically flat called the raise preflop (Which I like to do occasionally, when the games incredibly aggressive and I can easily stack a weaker ace/queen if the flop comes out nicely), flopped an ace, c/r'd him and for some crazy reason c/c'd the turn, I mean lead/call or c/r woulda been fine there but anyway he rivered his two pair with T5 and got my stack and I insta logged off and didn't play for like 4 days cos I'd literally played so bad that day. Since then I've ground up another few k.

Now looking for a 12 PTBB/100 winrate over 100k hands and think it's achievable not like my 100000 bb/100 I was going for before

My Last Session

My last session of poker was pretty funny, I was playing a donk heads up at 3/6, his stats were 47/10.32 with like a 35% call pfr, he limped loads of his buttons, infact most is his 10.32 pfr was him reraising me not the other way around.

Anyway, he bought in short for like 520 i ground him down a little and stacked him with this hand, pretty standard:

Submitted by : KeyleK_uk

Texas Hold'em $6-$12 NL (real money), hand #P4-64510408-13
Table Lancaster, 3 Apr 2008 9:06 AM ET

Seat 3: tflo1 ($371.80 in chips)
Seat 9: Alcatel00 ($685.00 in chips)
ANTES/BLINDS
tflo1 posts blind ($3)
Alcatel00 posts blind ($6).


Preflop(Odds)

tflo1 bets $12
Alcatel00 bets $44
tflo1 calls $35.


Flop(Odds) (Pot : $100)

Alcatel00 bets $70
tflo1 bets $321.80 and is all-in
Alcatel00 calls $251.80.


Turn(Odds) (Pot : $743.6)



River (Pot : $743.6)



Showdown
tflo1 shows
Alcatel00 shows
Alcatel00 wins $742.60

Summary
Dealer: tflo1
Pot: $743.60, (including rake: $1)
tflo1 loses $371.80
Alcatel00 bets $371.80, collects $742.60, net $370.80

Texas Hold'em $6-$12 NL (real money), hand #P4-64510408-34
Table Lancaster, 3 Apr 2008 9:11 AM ET

Seat 3: tflo1 ($494.80 in chips)
Seat 9: Alcatel00 ($1
152.20 in chips)
ANTES/BLINDS
Alcatel00 posts blind ($3)
tflo1 posts blind ($6).


Preflop(Odds)

Alcatel00 bets $15
tflo1 bets $61
Alcatel00 bets $457
tflo1 calls $408.


Flop(Odds) (Pot : $950)

tflo1 bets $19.80 and is all-in
Alcatel00 calls $19.80.


Turn(Odds) (Pot : $989.6)



River (Pot : $989.6)



Showdown
tflo1 shows
Alcatel00 shows
tflo1 wins $988.60.


Summary
Dealer: Alcatel00
Pot: $989.60, (including rake: $1)
tflo1 bets $494.80, collects $988.60, net $493.80
Alcatel00 loses $494.80

Texas Hold'em $6-$12 NL (real money), hand #P4-64510408-500
Table Lancaster, 3 Apr 2008 10:44 AM ET

Seat 3: tflo1 ($1
530.40 in chips)
Seat 9: Alcatel00 ($1
610.90 in chips)
ANTES/BLINDS
tflo1 posts blind ($3)
Alcatel00 posts blind ($6).


Preflop

tflo1 calls $3
Alcatel00 checks .


Flop (Pot : $12)

Alcatel00 checks, tflo1 bets $12
Alcatel00 bets $33
tflo1 calls $21.


Turn (Pot : $78)

Alcatel00 bets $65
tflo1 calls $65.


River (Pot : $208)

Alcatel00 bets $177
tflo1 folds .


Showdown
Alcatel00 shows
Alcatel00 wins $384

Summary
Dealer: tflo1
Pot: $385, (including rake: $1)
tflo1 loses $104
Alcatel00 bets $281, collects $384, net $103

Texas Hold'em $6-$12 NL (real money), hand #P4-64510408-504
Table Lancaster, 3 Apr 2008 10:45 AM ET

Seat 3: tflo1 ($1
443.80 in chips)
Seat 9: Alcatel00 ($1
695.90 in chips)
ANTES/BLINDS
tflo1 posts blind ($3)
Alcatel00 posts blind ($6).


Preflop(Odds)

tflo1 bets $23
Alcatel00 calls $20.


Flop(Odds) (Pot : $52)

Alcatel00 checks, tflo1 bets $112
Alcatel00 calls $112.


Turn(Odds) (Pot : $276)

Alcatel00 checks, tflo1 bets $1
305.80 and is all-in
Alcatel00 calls $1
305.80.


River (Pot : $278)



Showdown
tflo1 shows
Alcatel00 shows
Alcatel00 wins $2
886.60

Summary
Dealer: tflo1
Pot: $2
887.60, (including rake: $1)
tflo1 loses $1
443.80
Alcatel00 bets $1
443.80, collects $2
886.60, net $1
442.80

Such a miserable, miserable day. Started playing poker about 5 hours ago. Massive coolers - 22 vs AA... I flop a set, he rivers an ace. AA vs 33... he flops a set and I don't river an ace.

Then comes a long period of zero action. And it's only happening to me. There are donks to the left of me. Donks to the right of me. And they are all winning and losing money in spectacular fashion. If you can shove the river with 8 high (and win), why can't you call my preflop raise?

Then I finally get action a pair of jacks. The flop comes in low. I hold the overpair. I bet, praying that the villain calls the flop with nothing. He does! I bet the turn. He raises. I shove. He shoves. I scream "THIS IS SPARTA!!!!" at the screen. The river is a queen. He turns over AQ. Fucking donk. Why the fuck did he call the flop with nothing?

Then it starts to rain. I have several orchids that can't take too much water. They're due for fertilising and watering tomorrow, but since it's raining, I can't water them tomorrow and I have to fertilise them now. Desperately check "Sit out next hand" 8 times and charge down the stairs. Grab the box of organic fertiliser labelled "sheep manure" from the top of the fridge. In Singapore, when it rains, it fucking rains. I squat in the balcony getting pelted by raindrops, desperately flinging lumps of sheep shit into orchid pots. One of the pots topples in the howling wind and I have to tie it to the railing to keep it upright, all the while getting wetter and wetter.

I go indoors, slip on the wet floor, towel myself dry and go play more poker.

I get dealt a pair of queens. The flop comes jack high. I bet. Villain check raises. I am in no mood to think about sets. I shove, praying that the villain will shove with top pair crappy kicker. He shoves. A 9 and a 7 come on the turn and river. He flips over J9 and wins the pot with two pairs. Fucking donk. Why the fuck did he shove the flop with top pair crappy kicker?


After 4,424 hands at NL10, I'm down by 1 U.S. dollar. Damn.

And my dog has been disgnosed with arthritis in her tail. There's no justice in this world.


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