I wonder if everyone is holding their breaths thinking about whether or not the site will be closed in the near future. I have been too busy to think about that recently actually but now that I can take some breaths it is on the mind.
I also remember it has been over a week since I have played on Ignition due to issues with the site. Ignition say they are going to compensate players in some way but I haven't seen it yet besides some extra fpp points. In fact, most of my funds are locked. Fun stuff.
I have been getting into techno recently.
Really diggin' this track:
Coming back to LP's potential closure. Maybe we are all in agreement that it is sad but true?
I log in and it's a black screen or a white/grey screen. Finally, I restart enough times and get to the lobby but I can't join any games. It loads up to 99% and then just stays there.
I googled it and it happens to other people. I was wondering if this stuff happens to you and how often?
I set everything up. The Ignition Hand Grabber recognized the tables I was on and was presumably grabbing hands but when I go to PT4 there is nothing. It just says I need to put in a player name but there are no names on Ignition. I'm overly tired and feeling desperate right now. I thought maybe someone on here might have a quick fix.
So this is my 4th(?) attempt at it and is probably my best attempt at running a blog.
I've done all the research that goes with hosting/domains/wordpress/ga4 + gsc/SEO and a ton of tiny details in doing it right.
Shrimping is great but I do not love doing it. I still work there but I've decided to take a backseat for now. I'm old as fuck so I'd rather do something I love and spend more time doing this tbh. I've done everything from the ground up so it's not perfect but it'll have my favorite movies and shows so please check it out.
Gomorrah has ended after 5 seasons. Fantastic show. Highly recommend it!!!
"This, I submit, is the freedom of a real education, of learning how to be well-adjusted. You get to consciously decide what has meaning and what doesn't. You get to decide what to worship.
Because here's something else that's weird but true: in the day-to-day trenches of adult life, there is actually no such thing as atheism. There is no such thing as not worshipping. Everybody worships. The only choice we get is what to worship. And the compelling reason for maybe choosing some sort of god or spiritual-type thing to worship--be it JC or Allah, be it YHWH or the Wiccan Mother Goddess, or the Four Noble Truths, or some inviolable set of ethical principles--is that pretty much anything else you worship will eat you alive. If you worship money and things, if they are where you tap real meaning in life, then you will never have enough, never feel you have enough. It's the truth. Worship your body and beauty and sexual allure and you will always feel ugly. And when time and age start showing, you will die a million deaths before they finally grieve you. On one level, we all know this stuff already. It's been codified as myths, proverbs, clichés, epigrams, parables; the skeleton of every great story. The whole trick is keeping the truth up front in daily consciousness.
Worship power, you will end up feeling weak and afraid, and you will need ever more power over others to numb you to your own fear. Worship your intellect, being seen as smart, you will end up feeling stupid, a fraud, always on the verge of being found out. But the insidious thing about these forms of worship is not that they're evil or sinful, it's that they're unconscious. They are default settings.
They're the kind of worship you just gradually slip into, day after day, getting more and more selective about what you see and how you measure value without ever being fully aware that that's what you're doing.
And the so-called real world will not discourage you from operating on your default settings, because the so-called real world of men and money and power hums merrily along in a pool of fear and anger and frustration and craving and worship of self. Our own present culture has harnessed these forces in ways that have yielded extraordinary wealth and comfort and personal freedom. The freedom all to be lords of our tiny skull-sized kingdoms, alone at the centre of all creation. This kind of freedom has much to recommend it. But of course there are all different kinds of freedom, and the kind that is most precious you will not hear much talk about much in the great outside world of wanting and achieving.... The really important kind of freedom involves attention and awareness and discipline, and being able truly to care about other people and to sacrifice for them over and over in myriad petty, unsexy ways every day.
That is real freedom. That is being educated, and understanding how to think. The alternative is unconsciousness, the default setting, the rat race, the constant gnawing sense of having had, and lost, some infinite thing.
I know that this stuff probably doesn't sound fun and breezy or grandly inspirational the way a commencement speech is supposed to sound. What it is, as far as I can see, is the capital-T Truth, with a whole lot of rhetorical niceties stripped away. You are, of course, free to think of it whatever you wish. But please don't just dismiss it as just some finger-wagging Dr Laura sermon. None of this stuff is really about morality or religion or dogma or big fancy questions of life after death.
The capital-T Truth is about life BEFORE death.
It is about the real value of a real education, which has almost nothing to do with knowledge, and everything to do with simple awareness; awareness of what is so real and essential, so hidden in plain sight all around us, all the time, that we have to keep reminding ourselves over and over:
"This is water."
"This is water."
It is unimaginably hard to do this, to stay conscious and alive in the adult world day in and day out. Which means yet another grand cliché turns out to be true: your education really IS the job of a lifetime. And it commences: now.
I wish you way more than luck."
— David Foster Wallace (This Is Water: Some Thoughts, Delivered on a Significant Occasion, about Living a Compassionate Life)
"That Man is the product of causes which had no prevision of the end they were achieving; that his origin, his growth, his hopes and fears, his loves and his beliefs, are but the outcome of accidental collocations of atoms; that no fire, no heroism, no intensity of thought and feeling, can preserve an individual life beyond the grave; that all the labours of the ages, all the devotion, all the inspiration, all the noonday brightness of human genius, are destined to extinction in the vast death of the solar system, and that the whole temple of Man’s achievement must inevitably be buried beneath the débris of a universe in ruins—all these things, if not quite beyond dispute, are yet so nearly certain, that no philosophy which rejects them can hope to stand. Only within the scaffolding of these truths, only on the firm foundation of unyielding despair, can the soul’s habitation henceforth be safely built."
Alright so this is one of those updates that is fun to make because I'm crushing 200nl on Bovada for a double digit winrate! I took a shot at 500nl 2 nights ago and got rekt though. FML. So for now I'm regrouping a bit, I'll probably grind out 5-10 buy ins at 200nl and then go for another 6-7 buy in shot at 500. My focus for May will obviously be to try to get a decent sample at 500nl as the first shot only lasted 700 hands and was filled with nonstop coolers. Haha. I had great discipline though and moved down to 200nl mid session and continued grinding and won half a buy in there. My how far I've come since the old days of my legendary high stakes tilting! LMAO
Anyways here are the results for the month thus far!
I got my 2nd booster yesterday because my mom wanted me to. I actually got all sorts of side effects today at work and it was pretty miserable. I came home took some Tylenol and had a nap and I feel a lot better. This is the first time I've had a reaction to the Covid shots. Better than being welded into your home at gun point.
I just write these things like jerking off. It's maybe a little fun or cathartic for a little while then I click post and shoot my load and the world turns.
And the expected outcome is for lostaccount to spam stuff and hiems to say some stupid stuff and try to attack me.
I actually don't have much to say. My life is pretty simple and boring these days. Has been for a while. Guitar and video games are fun until they are not. I read books. I haven't been spending much money.
I keep considering playing poker again. The starter costs seem too high though. I mean I need a desktop to run solvers. A desktop to play poker. 30'' screen. Move to Pittsburgh. I would ideally start at 100 NL or 200 NL so I need a bankroll.
When I started playing poker I think people were weary as they just assumed I would be a lawyer or a teacher. I think it might actually be wiser for me to play poker now because I am stuck in retail hell with no foreseeable way to improve my position.
5ptbb/100 @ 200 NL is 20c/hand. 30k hands a month is 360,000 hands in a year which would be $72,000/year.
I currently make $31,200/year. With inflation that is not great and I don't know how to increase this figure at this point. I just don't know how to do it. How does one get out of retail hell?
So, I play video games to blot out the consciousness but they are good video games. They are fun. I am wasting my life away on video games. This seems to be a philosophical choice I have made. Strap me in to the experience machine.
The Sky Is Pink by Nathan Fake is a great song. iop sent me the Holden Remix version seemingly so long ago back when we would share songs on MSN and Spotify was just in it's infancy. I regret not going to Sweden.
I don't know what it will take to turn it around. I just have a pessimistic outlook on life and my life. Would I be that happier if I made $40,000 or $50,000? $70,000? $200,000?
I actually don't know if I could make much playing poker these days. I don't know if I would be hungry with the solvers but they are super interesting. I put in a lot of work on Pro Poker Tools back in the day which is so archaic and also a lot of math regarding bankroll management and variance. The problem is I already burnt out on poker I am not sure if there is any turning back.
any1 following this? its popcorn.jpg for sure. never thought id root for a trump hater so much in my life lol. what a cunty this amber heard is. I "Heard" about this divorce awhile ago and I immediately thought she was a cunty probably but the trial just magnifies the extent to which she is a cunty so much.
The thing that I am very glad about is how much public support is lopsidedly supporting johnny depp. ive seen polls where like only 1% support amber heard. the thing is even if she doesnt end up having to pay a shitton of money, my faith in humanity is sort of restored by the amount of public support depp is getting. if heard has a minimal fine but depp gets back his roles in hollywood while she gets cancelled that is still a moral victory imo.
meanwhile techlead releases this video
idk how a sane man in 2022 decides to get married or have children unless u have a fuckton of money like elon who has cucked loco by impregnating his crush grimes.
Perhaps inspired by NeillyAA, I'm having a little fun prodding around in the newly minted regulated market in Ontario. Party Poker seems to have the largest player base, but that will likely all change when PokerStars unveils its offering and joins the ring-fenced market. I'm well past the time where I had any sort of aspirations of being a professional or high earning player, but it's fun to experience a bit of nostalgia. Right now the games are pretty soft, who else has been hitting the tables in Ontario and still hits refresh on this dead site at least once a week?
so in starsnj there is the reg that is a communist. i found this out because one day i was browsing twitter and randomly i thought i saw a screenname that was familiar and it turns out its the 100nl/200nl reg i play with. also i didnt go stalk him or anyhting weird like that because his twitter handle is his poker screen name with an "X" in between so TheDumbxLoco, for example...so its not like it shows up in searches.
anyway i click on his twitter profile and he is a full blown communist, he has like...the soviet symbol on his handle and everything lol. he actually looks a bit like stroggoz has similar vibe lol.
anyway i asked about it in chatbox one day telling him i found his twitter lol. ...at some point it seemed to annoy him and he doesnt respond to my comments anymore lol. i do the patented hieMS sweet talk 2 this poor guy loco will kno
anyway today started with a hand where he 3bet from button vs my ep or mp raise...i had AKo standard 4bet and he folds. I needle him and say "1 for capitalism" lol. ..no response
then I 4bet AAwith ace of diamonds vs his button 3bet he snap calls preflop with TT flop comes like K32 or something with 2 diamonds. I for some reason check and he checks. Diamond turn. c-c. forget the river. I make block bet he calls.
then later sb vs bb I 4bet TT and he jams AQo and I dont love it but call and i hold for 120bb. (quite alot for Tens so not sure about this).
later fish limps I 3.5x TT IP he 3bets rather large from blinds with AJsuited or something flop comes like TT8 2 spades he bets large side I call with quads obv....spr is about 1 at this point. turn and river make 3 flush spades and he hits a broadway straight on river and jams and I SNAPPPP THE COMMUNIST OFF WITH QUADS!!!
shoulda have slow rolled but I was stuck so couldnt afford to like...disconnect or anything from the pot LOL...the last 2 hands happen like back to back just outta nowhere devastatingly lose 2 stacks LOL what a communist!!
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