In response to the comments in my latest blog: - Page 4

Very interesting read! Especially considering we both gamed a lot, we both spent a lot of time on TL, but even moreso 'cause we took different routes at a given point. What is your educational status like now btw?

I think this is the downside of gaming in general. I There will be a point for most people where they think: What have I done? And has it given me enough satisfaction? Money truly does not make you happy, though it does aid in being more care free. But one will always want more. And more.

I had a choice along the way. After I quit High School at the age of 16, I played a load of games. I know I'm somewhat talented for such things, but I chose to not let it get out of hand at a turning point. For me, I believe that sociability and doing something productive for society are more important aspects of life. Surely those aspects are managable alongside good poker earnings; they should not exclude each other. Seems you're going to do that more now. Good luck with that. As for me, now I'm 24, still studying Psychology at the Erasmus University. I work a crappy job, yet enjoy it because of my coworkers. Life is good and I'm happy that I did not pursue anything online.

Good luck and I'll be reading,

Vincent

This was a really interesting read especially since it's something I've struggled with a lot. I fucking hate poker 95% of the time as people around me can attest to. But I'm also one of the few who's transitioned multiple times between full time corporate jobs and full time (well, I'm like the laziest grinder in the world...but still) poker so I feel I can say that there's a good chance that you'll look on your original post as at least slightly misguided later on. A sense of emptiness, dealing with bullshit, and etc isn't lost out in the 'real world' either. It's what you make of it.

I really despise the actual game of poker sometimes and oftentimes, the people that are immersed in it (pretty sure I'm one of the only ones who actually got into anything even remotely resembling a fight last summer at WSOP). Honestly, there's nothing more pathetic to me than a shit talking poker player engaging in a dick wagging contest over who may or may not have played a fucking card game better than another. I also hate the competitive aspect of poker that sometimes, you can do everything right and still fail really hard in the short term. Everything I've competed in before...i.e. sports like basketball...video games like bw...if you try your hardest, you can maximize your supposed return near instantly whereas in poker, it doesn't work out that way a lot of times which is an obvious fact but one that I'll always find really frustrating. But everything has a price and for the times that I chose poker over a more regular life, it's all because of that freedom that comes with it that we take for granted. For me, dealing with what I felt were the shitty aspects of poker were oftentimes worth it just because of that single gift of freedom.

My point is that once you really quit and go out and do whatever it is you're going to do, I think you're going to have at least a 90 degree change in how you view things. Maybe you'll be one of the few who really does what they're meant to do in life, enjoy it, and reap the benefits. But the reality is that most of the normal 'careers' out there beyond niche ones won't really give you this sense of magical self-fulfillment. There's a reason why most normal people hate what they do. It also really sucks meeting shitty, fake people out in the working world and being in a system where you can't call them out on it as much as you want to. However, I totally understand the entire post and where it comes from. Because even all the money and freedom won't do everything for you. The best times of my life all had a correlation of doing something new, meeting new people, and going out. Like college, my one job where I made a lot of close friends that I still hang out with today, moving to San Diego for the first time...etc. Nothing to do with money/poker. But then poker gave me lots of other great things too. Freedom for a long time in many ways...time, travel, financially. It's just a matter of balancing things imo, and I think skewing it so hard one way or the other (you one way now...die-hard poker enthusiasts the other) is always going to be a little misguided.

On April 21 2009 01:12 Fayth wrote: I really don't know what to think of all this, I don't see how you can feel so bad about poker, I mean I guess I never had a job like you had for 5 years that I liked..... every job I had sucked pretty badly..... I make good money from poker, I'm moving in my new house with my girlfriend (been with her for 2 yrs) and I plan to marry her, have children and so on, poker is basically a shortcut to financial freedom.... I guess I'm kind of also looking for recognition, or fame.... just like I was when playing broodwar.... anyways, can't you just set goals, goals for your life while you keep playing poker a few hours every day ? I don't know if I'm special or different but I still like poker, and I never feel devastated after a losing day and I keep setting new goals and try to achieve better results... just be optimistic o_O!

I admire you, seriously.

Being alone all day will make you feel empty eventually. You however have a precious thing by being able to make plenty of money to support yourself and potentially loved ones with just a couple hours a day. Don't give that up, just find a better balance in your life and you'll be fine.

Sorry i just stopped to read ur blog @ page 3 cauz i got sick of ppl saying the same sh.t when they don't know what they're talking about (with some exceptions) but believe me i suggest this :

On April 19 2009 17:35 blackjacki2 wrote: try volunteering for charities/groups. you can be a positive force in society and meet new ppl

This is like a part time job, except that you can do it as your own and see how far you can help the others. Only depends of your bankroll, cauz we gotta admit, nothing is free.
But if you can help others by being in associations, it'd not only make the others happy but also make you feel like what you've done is worth the life.
I don't really know you, but from the experience i've seen throughout your tl.net / lp.net career, i can't think that you'll bad in the future. I really think you have what it takes to succeed and when you do something you sometimes stick to it untill you can do it no more.
I'm sorry if there was a 4th page worth reading, but i really wanted to share my thoughts about it. Because right now, it's somewhat how i feel minus the poker (which i don't play anymore)