Yeah, I need some fucking strongman training to kick my ass and come home and read 1,000 page novels of beauty. There was a time in my life when I might have honestly been happiest. My bankroll was gone. I was kind of done with getting high all day and playing video games and eating Jimmy Johns. I discovered Kant, Dostoevsky, Sartre, Nietzsche and re-found the gym with fury. I would wake up about 9am, lift at around 11pm, post workout nutrition and all that and study the classics. One would think it would get boring but it didn't. I had no idea where I was going in my life but I had hope and I was confident I was doing the right thing.
It's really weird because most of my life I was living comfortably in an upper middle class family. I didn't really make that much at poker at first but it was good and then a 2 year span of making extremely good money and going broke and then living basically like a student for 2 years and then making a solid wage as a salesman. $65k-$70k in middle class Indiana goes a waaaayyyyssss. Trying to live with the upper class in Chicago that money goes faaassstttt. It's really weird to go from that to broke for years. It is like I am used to it now. I don't have the bourgeois hangups I used to about it all. It's just kind of weird that I stay broke. I don't really see a way out of it either which is the thing. I don't even know if I am looking for a way out. Oh well, I am going to finally leave the house and go hang out with some people. It will be much needed. |
United States. Jan 08 2018 00:46. Posts 8520
