Go on dates

Do you see not drinking as a problem?

I used to date women who drank a lot because I drank a lot. Meeting someone in a club. Meeting someone at a lounge. Going out to coffee seems weird to me but it may be the right thing to do with an online date. My old ideal of a great date was some fun girl who would drink too many white wines and then maybe we would go back to my place and drink some champagne or tequila and bone. It is like a refiguring of the brain. I don't have a problem with not drinking but it is like I have this fear that they will have a problem with me not drinking. If I am just hanging out with other women who don't drink it is not even an issue but I am not real big on dating other alcoholics. The only alcoholic I ever got involved with it did not go so well. She was a certain type of crazy, I am a certain type of crazy. She was a really cool chick it just did not work out. But, We are mostly talking about online here.

Why would taking a girl out to coffee be better than some good food place I like? I guess I am currently pretty broke. Saving the nice places for when I have a good inkling that I like her seems reasonable.

Are women really going out to coffee and being cool with that?

Most of my dating I was always coming from the point of like alpha guy. Let's go to a lounge and I'll drink cognac type of guy. It had to be a cool lounge or restaurant. Always covering the bill. Really do my best to be a cut above but if the women will go for it I am not against it. I love coffee and the vibe in a lot of coffee shops.

In my experience the cheaper the date the cooler women are with it. Doing anything fancy with someone you dont know is just sort of wierd.

Go for a walk and grab a coffee on the go or something in that nature, just hang out to see if your into eachother.

Or rather aslong as you dont believe that what youre doing is superwierd she probably wont either, with confidence you can do pretty much whatever and again in my experience they will just enjoy and go with it aslong as they are into you and you are comfortable.

Women seem less insane then us when it comes to these sort of things, they are more onboard with the flow of things if you are.

On June 02 2017 12:10 iop wrote: Floofy - not kissing on the first date is not important at all. Going on 3-4 dates a week is a bit extensive, especially if you're just starting to go on dates.

i do agree 3-4 is a lot, but i also do think its better.
As i said, i think a beginner should expect maybe 25% success rate. So if he does 1 a week, thats 1 success a month. If your decently selective, you might only truly make 25% of those girls GF material, so on average 4 months to get your decent GF.

That being said, i 100% agree with you he should try to enjoy those dates. If he treats it like a chore, it kinda sucks.
I also agree with you he should aim for cheaper dates.

I also think you should pay for her, but dont mention it. Act like its nothing.
If its expansive, she won't be comfortable with you paying, but it looks bad if you let her pay. And if you're gonna do 3-4 a week and theyre all expansive... lot of money wasted.
Aim for home movie, walk, coffee.

I usually invite them to a rock paper scissor when it comes to like a first date coffee.

On June 02 2017 20:40 longple wrote: In my experience the cheaper the date the cooler women are with it. Doing anything fancy with someone you dont know is just sort of wierd.

It would be for me now. I can't keep up with the burn rate of "fancy." When I had a lot more money a $10 date or a $100 date what is the difference? If I go out all the time or I am at fancy lounges a fair amount and so is she it is nice that we can dress up a little bit and go some place nice. It is sexier. Sexy is almost always a good thing. I am not that guy now though. I don't know if I was ever that guy. It is liberating to just talk about online dating and going to coffee shops because I was always under the impressing that that was just not going to go very well.

Go for a walk and grab a coffee on the go or something in that nature, just hang out to see if your into eachother.

This would be cool. I love walks and hikes. It is cliche but I enjoy long walks on the beach. I am about to go for one in about 15 min. Many times I have the thought that that would be a great date. Just some coffee and a long walk on the beach and conversation. About an hour or so in length with the option to walk more if it is going well.

On June 02 2017 20:52 longple wrote: Or rather aslong as you dont believe that what youre doing is superwierd she probably wont either, with confidence you can do pretty much whatever and again in my experience they will just enjoy and go with it aslong as they are into you and you are comfortable. Women seem less insane then us when it comes to these sort of things, they are more onboard with the flow of things if you are.

Yeah, which it makes sense to not put too much pressure on any individual date and get the volume in. It's really a freeroll. Actually not that good but we are risking a little to win a lot which is a great gambling situation.

On June 02 2017 21:00 longple wrote: I usually invite them to a rock paper scissor when it comes to like a first date coffee.

On June 02 2017 20:53 Floofy wrote: Show nested quote + On June 02 2017 12:10 iop wrote: Floofy - not kissing on the first date is not important at all. Going on 3-4 dates a week is a bit extensive, especially if you're just starting to go on dates. i do agree 3-4 is a lot, but i also do think its better. As i said, i think a beginner should expect maybe 25% success rate. So if he does 1 a week, thats 1 success a month. If your decently selective, you might only truly make 25% of those girls GF material, so on average 4 months to get your decent GF. That being said, i 100% agree with you he should try to enjoy those dates. If he treats it like a chore, it kinda sucks. I also agree with you he should aim for cheaper dates. I also think you should pay for her, but dont mention it. Act like its nothing. If its expansive, she won't be comfortable with you paying, but it looks bad if you let her pay. And if you're gonna do 3-4 a week and theyre all expansive... lot of money wasted. Aim for home movie, walk, coffee.

The thing is I am not really concerned about getting a "decent GF" in x amount of time. The dates should be enjoyable in itself. Personally, 3-4 dates a week is too many for me. Twice a week and maybe more if I am feeling in a certain mood. I like to keep the vibe at "hey, this chick is pretty cool and fun to date" rather than "oh, man this chick could be decent GF material." I basically just keep dating her until she becomes decent GF material and then she is because she's my girlfriend. I know what you mean though. You don't want to waste time or resources on chicks that aren't decent GF material. I am more of like "hey, as long as we are having fun and it is cool I am not going to think about it" but of course I am going to think about it so I am just writing a lot for no reason.

On June 01 2017 16:23 RiKD wrote: Show nested quote + On May 31 2017 21:23 Dinewbie wrote: Day game is far superior to night game fwiw. It's also a lot more difficult because any mistakes you make are amplified since you're out and about during the day, no darkness to cover stuff up or make people look more attractive, etc. That said, fortune favors the bold, you'll pull hotter girls and build better connections on average with daygaming. Just my two cents. One difference though is that at night the women are out to be social. During the day you may just be bothering some woman trying to do errands. I have asked women out before during the day but I had talked to them before. It was more or less just a spontaneous thing. Going out daygaming maybe kind of fun in some adventurous kind of ways but it is kind of silly. I can see going to the library a lot and liking one of the librarians there so you chat sometimes and eventually ask her out. I eventually asked a girl out who owned a running store I frequented. Running about with canned routines to churn numbers is just stupid. I didn't have any real success with women until I dropped the shtick and became a better man.

Firstly, canned routines are for fish, definitely never recommended that. Just cold approach and meet a female in public. If you are well socially lubricated, she'll be interested regardless if she is busy or not lol. Also, I noticed by your lingo that you have read either The Game or Magic Bullets, they're both pretty decent reads but honestly, you'll learn more from being introspective and trying to fix your leaks (think poker) than reading a book. Anyway, if a girl says that she is 'busy' with 'errands' it is actually more likely a soft no (think 'I have a boyfriend' when you know a girl is single)... The trick is to not take their 'no' as a definitive answer, some girls don't even have a 'plan B' if you don't leave after that lol. I've gone on a lot of instant dates with women who gave similar "soft no's", the key is to not give in to a soft no because that is ultimately what they are hoping for. A lot about pick-up is making a girl mold to your frame of mind (ideally the seductive one, but it's ok to do a fun or adventurous one too). Persistence is key and being stronger willed, and you aren't going to learn that trait from reading a book.
Re the last part: That's just self confidence and the vibrations that you are putting out into the universe. If you don't believe what you are saying or are acting rehearsed, of course it's not going to work. You have to be real.
When I first started out, a big part of my improvement was looking back on rejections and trying to figure out where I went wrong. If you look over a pick-up interaction like a poker hand history, and you're being critical, you can probably even estimate your EV$ at any given point... doing this you can usually figure out what things you did were good or bad. Gl

nice thread lol

I kinda miss these from my life, sound like a lot of fun. Then again I am with my current GF for many years now

I'll never go to dinner on a first date.

I prefer simple walks, or drinks at a pub. Something easy.

And there is no set # of dates that if you don't get them to spend the night, it's over. That's ridiculous. If you're really into the girl, you guys still dating means you still have a shot and are probably getting closer to what you want - sex/relationship

That being said, I'm an asshole and I like to get drunk and bang. It would have to be a pretty special girl (Tina Turner) for me to go on a progressive dating marathon.

On June 03 2017 09:24 Dinewbie wrote: Show nested quote + On June 01 2017 16:23 RiKD wrote:   On May 31 2017 21:23 Dinewbie wrote: Day game is far superior to night game fwiw. It's also a lot more difficult because any mistakes you make are amplified since you're out and about during the day, no darkness to cover stuff up or make people look more attractive, etc. That said, fortune favors the bold, you'll pull hotter girls and build better connections on average with daygaming. Just my two cents. One difference though is that at night the women are out to be social. During the day you may just be bothering some woman trying to do errands. I have asked women out before during the day but I had talked to them before. It was more or less just a spontaneous thing. Going out daygaming maybe kind of fun in some adventurous kind of ways but it is kind of silly. I can see going to the library a lot and liking one of the librarians there so you chat sometimes and eventually ask her out. I eventually asked a girl out who owned a running store I frequented. Running about with canned routines to churn numbers is just stupid. I didn't have any real success with women until I dropped the shtick and became a better man. Firstly, canned routines are for fish, definitely never recommended that. Just cold approach and meet a female in public. If you are well socially lubricated, she'll be interested regardless if she is busy or not lol. Also, I noticed by your lingo that you have read either The Game or Magic Bullets, they're both pretty decent reads but honestly, you'll learn more from being introspective and trying to fix your leaks (think poker) than reading a book. Anyway, if a girl says that she is 'busy' with 'errands' it is actually more likely a soft no (think 'I have a boyfriend' when you know a girl is single)... The trick is to not take their 'no' as a definitive answer, some girls don't even have a 'plan B' if you don't leave after that lol. I've gone on a lot of instant dates with women who gave similar "soft no's", the key is to not give in to a soft no because that is ultimately what they are hoping for. A lot about pick-up is making a girl mold to your frame of mind (ideally the seductive one, but it's ok to do a fun or adventurous one too). Persistence is key and being stronger willed, and you aren't going to learn that trait from reading a book. Re the last part: That's just self confidence and the vibrations that you are putting out into the universe. If you don't believe what you are saying or are acting rehearsed, of course it's not going to work. You have to be real. When I first started out, a big part of my improvement was looking back on rejections and trying to figure out where I went wrong. If you look over a pick-up interaction like a poker hand history, and you're being critical, you can probably even estimate your EV$ at any given point... doing this you can usually figure out what things you did were good or bad. Gl

I am not going to feel comfortable in many day time settings. To me soft no means "leave me alone," "do not disturb," "I do not want to be bothered right now." I can see how if that road block is overcome with humor, confidence, je ne se qois that is a huge bonus and pretty much wins the game right there. I am not confident in my ability to do that so I would much rather contact women who very much want to be contacted. I realize many of these busy women during the day fall into this category deep down but it perhaps has to be coaxed out of a possible defensive stance. I do not know the percentages of chance in such interactions. It is still risking a little to win a lot unless you become that weird guy who bothers women down in the market or wherever. But I can see the fact of being a little bit different and being a little bit ballsy does play in a man's favor. Many guys are goofs. If a guy can be different from the goofs and competent and perhaps a little mysterious and whatever it is going to make the woman a little bit wet. So I can see the benefits. I mean we only live one time. We are only young for so long. If something is attractive about a woman it should be investigated no?

Eh, I could really go either way. I can really see the benefits in doing some cold approaches in rare instances. I mean something about the woman really has you captivated in a way. Going down to the market and hitting on every woman that walks by is horrible. It is a nice Ace to have up your sleeve though. I think the value in it grows and grows depending on the city. NYC it could be a God send. So many beautiful women everywhere. If I see one I particularly like I don't want to pass that up for a random draw on tinder or wherever.

On June 04 2017 02:40 RiKD wrote: Show nested quote + On June 03 2017 09:24 Dinewbie wrote:   On June 01 2017 16:23 RiKD wrote:   On May 31 2017 21:23 Dinewbie wrote: Day game is far superior to night game fwiw. It's also a lot more difficult because any mistakes you make are amplified since you're out and about during the day, no darkness to cover stuff up or make people look more attractive, etc. That said, fortune favors the bold, you'll pull hotter girls and build better connections on average with daygaming. Just my two cents. One difference though is that at night the women are out to be social. During the day you may just be bothering some woman trying to do errands. I have asked women out before during the day but I had talked to them before. It was more or less just a spontaneous thing. Going out daygaming maybe kind of fun in some adventurous kind of ways but it is kind of silly. I can see going to the library a lot and liking one of the librarians there so you chat sometimes and eventually ask her out. I eventually asked a girl out who owned a running store I frequented. Running about with canned routines to churn numbers is just stupid. I didn't have any real success with women until I dropped the shtick and became a better man. Firstly, canned routines are for fish, definitely never recommended that. Just cold approach and meet a female in public. If you are well socially lubricated, she'll be interested regardless if she is busy or not lol. Also, I noticed by your lingo that you have read either The Game or Magic Bullets, they're both pretty decent reads but honestly, you'll learn more from being introspective and trying to fix your leaks (think poker) than reading a book. Anyway, if a girl says that she is 'busy' with 'errands' it is actually more likely a soft no (think 'I have a boyfriend' when you know a girl is single)... The trick is to not take their 'no' as a definitive answer, some girls don't even have a 'plan B' if you don't leave after that lol. I've gone on a lot of instant dates with women who gave similar "soft no's", the key is to not give in to a soft no because that is ultimately what they are hoping for. A lot about pick-up is making a girl mold to your frame of mind (ideally the seductive one, but it's ok to do a fun or adventurous one too). Persistence is key and being stronger willed, and you aren't going to learn that trait from reading a book. Re the last part: That's just self confidence and the vibrations that you are putting out into the universe. If you don't believe what you are saying or are acting rehearsed, of course it's not going to work. You have to be real. When I first started out, a big part of my improvement was looking back on rejections and trying to figure out where I went wrong. If you look over a pick-up interaction like a poker hand history, and you're being critical, you can probably even estimate your EV$ at any given point... doing this you can usually figure out what things you did were good or bad. Gl I am not going to feel comfortable in many day time settings. To me soft no means "leave me alone," "do not disturb," "I do not want to be bothered right now." I can see how if that road block is overcome with humor, confidence, je ne se qois that is a huge bonus and pretty much wins the game right there. I am not confident in my ability to do that so I would much rather contact women who very much want to be contacted. I realize many of these busy women during the day fall into this category deep down but it perhaps has to be coaxed out of a possible defensive stance. I do not know the percentages of chance in such interactions. It is still risking a little to win a lot unless you become that weird guy who bothers women down in the market or wherever. But I can see the fact of being a little bit different and being a little bit ballsy does play in a man's favor. Many guys are goofs. If a guy can be different from the goofs and competent and perhaps a little mysterious and whatever it is going to make the woman a little bit wet. So I can see the benefits. I mean we only live one time. We are only young for so long. If something is attractive about a woman it should be investigated no? Eh, I could really go either way. I can really see the benefits in doing some cold approaches in rare instances. I mean something about the woman really has you captivated in a way. Going down to the market and hitting on every woman that walks by is horrible. It is a nice Ace to have up your sleeve though. I think the value in it grows and grows depending on the city. NYC it could be a God send. So many beautiful women everywhere. If I see one I particularly like I don't want to pass that up for a random draw on tinder or wherever.

I am far from being an expert of day game, but imo, if a girl soft no you, there is nothing wrong with going for the next one.
Of course, i'm not saying Dinewbie is wrong, its def still possible to seduce her atfer a soft no, but why not go for the girls who are interested right away? My guess is girls who are interested right away might either play less games, or be more genunely into you. And its not like approching and getting soft nexted is an insane time commitment.

WTF guys why can't you just be yourself. If she's into you just be good to her and expect her to do the same...no mind games no bullshit.

As we get older the game becomes just silly. Figure out what you want and go after it.

On June 09 2017 21:05 YoMeR wrote: WTF guys why can't you just be yourself. If she's into you just be good to her and expect her to do the same...no mind games no bullshit. As we get older the game becomes just silly. Figure out what you want and go after it.

Agreed.

I agree with the general sentiment but I don't really think much of that was going on in this thread though. There was some PUA discussion but most of that was that the games are bad. It is good to be busy doing cool stuff and not answering always in these text discussions or sending texts all the time. It is obviously bad to be getting too wrapped up into texting. I think waiting an arbitrary amount of time to text back and then running texts passed people is ridiculous. That is just one example but a tit for tat game has to be played. There are signals involved that have to be understood or if they are misunderstood it is not a disaster.

I was in NYC this weekend. So, many flavors of beautiful women. Day game did not really come into the forefront. It would be quite a feat to chat up a girl walking in the opposite direction on a crowded street. Chatting up a girl waiting for a light seems equally difficult. I could have chatted up the girl next to me waiting for Starbucks or the girls that were beholding the same paintings in the MoMA but that is still a stretch. It would be a fun city to live in if I had 6 figures. Perhaps it would have been fun to make a run at starving artist if I was in my early 20s.

So, almost a year after this thread I ask my first woman out on a date. Hmmmm, well.... progress I guess.

Fuck man. I don't know when I get out of work. We are really going to drink coffee at 8pm on a Wednesday night? I can't go tomorrow. Next week? Hey, let's have coffee at 2pm next Sunday? At least I can just wear jeans and a t-shirt.

Floofy, how in the hell did you do 3-4 dates a week?

I am not going to lie I miss the fact that I can't drink. I need to remedy that.

Start asking these women out to art gallery shows and shit?

She lives downtown. I don't know shit about downtown. I don't know where to go, where to park,

Neurosis on the page. Neurosis come out and play.