i dunno

some days i just feel tilted for no reason at all too.

On October 22 2009 22:27 joLin wrote: some days i just feel tilted for no reason at all too.

yah its been two days like this and I guess I should learn the real danger of this now that I have done the damage.. super retard rage tilt

might have something to do with my ridiculous sleep schedule fuck ups, my head just feels like a big piece of shit stuck on my shoulders, no clarity in my thoughts, Before either of these downswing days as soon as I started playing I simply couldn't 'get into' anyone else's head or really even construct ranges properly, I guess I should pay more attention to these things.. Just feel so gulty not playing any volume......

make sure you're getting enough rest, are eating correctly, and are exercising, I find that whenever I feel that way it's usually due to one of those factors, just have to wait it out and time will fix it.

On October 22 2009 22:37 zerglife wrote: make sure you're getting enough rest, are eating correctly, and are exercising, I find that whenever I feel that way it's usually due to one of those factors, just have to wait it out and time will fix it.

yah this has been weighing heavily on my mind since I got back home, just haven't forced myself up off my ass to go renew my gym membership etc (I used to be quite serious about being healthy and etc).. At this point it is like a double whammy of not eating correctly, not exercising, not having proper or even remotely reasonable sleeping habits, PLUS feeling guilty and stressed about not doing those things in the first place.. lol

maybe since I self excluded I will go set up my gym membership tomorrow..

Seems like you were playing a decent reg HU, your BR is bound to take a hit if you're learning vs a good reg

yah but the whole problem is my bad emotional reponse to the situation, dunno, its just like I was destined to tilt if I played or something

self exclusion is good i use it when i am on tilt ,i dont think its pathetic its good for not tilting all your money when you are not in the right mood

yah I just hated the idea of ever having to use it or thinking it'd be a good idea, aka my control needs to be better

hopefully i'll never use it again unless some extraordinary situation arises

Figured I'll post a quick update here instead of making another blog. Plus I would feel obligated to write more if I made a whole new blog post.

Basically, I haven't slept or anything since this blog but I have been chillin out and relaxing. I went for sushi.. a place down the road has a nice lunch special and I basically got 1 and a half meals worth of sushi for just 20 bucks. On the way home I realized again that I am really fortunate and I need to be taking advantage of that, that at this point I am 100% sure I can lock down a pretty damn good hourly rate compared to any of my friends, acquaintances, or most 22 year olds.. or anyone in general. So I should really just relax and really understand that to take proper advantage of this I have to resume being mature about my tilt control.

Even after losing more than half of what I was up for the month my hourly is still over $30/hour. I mean.. c'mon.. there's no excuse not to keep my head cool and to just stop playing when that is the best option.

Not sure what I'm going to play when my self exclusion drops. I have 40 buyins for 1/2 and a 23k hand sample of myself winning at an EV of 2.5 ptbb/100 (actually won @ 2.3ptbb/100).. This after 2bi I straight up tilted off yesterday. Hell, I'm still up a buyin on my 2/4 shot!

I will be serious again, in any case.

no where else to post my little whine and i dont' want to spam a blog just yet OMFG WTF so ridiculous.. I play nl100 for 250 hands and am down 4.5bi

not upset but i did stop the session prematurely