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I should quit.. busto |
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340 left.
If i wouldnt have been forced to cash out so much earlier this month, maybe everything would be so different right now. I coulda continued to play NL50 with a solid roll, in a good mindset and all and maybe would have a good month now and ready to be at that point where I never have to cash out more than my BR can handle. Sigh..... unable to describe how bad i feel atm.
I really curse the fact that I once made so much money(for me at least, nothing compared with some of you guys) from it, because deep down inside me I probably think that I could get back up there 1 day, but every time Im close to coming back SOMETHING horrible goes wrong. I cant believe it. Looking back I would prefer to NEVER have won at that game at ALL then I would at least not waste all the fucking time Im doing now to try to have success.
Played 4 tables NL25 the last few days to try to concentrate better and it worked good, then sometimes I spewed a lot in unnecessary spots which tilted me afterwards and also looking at my cashier keeps tilting the shit out of me. Also got my fair share of coolers and running bad as usual, so overall I ended down again.
Sooo..... I hate myself right now, feeling like the biggest loser alive and I really think I should quit.
edit : I mean Im a big winner on NL25 and everything BUT i dont have the BR for it anymore and I dont have the power to go back again to NL5 and grind a br back... ahhhh im just pissed.
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0 | Last edit: 28/06/2009 12:31 |
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newbie.cjb   United States. Jun 28 2009 12:53. Posts 3096 | | |
get a job bro dont stress this shit
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my lose is a win. my wins are nothing. | |
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J012SR   United States. Jun 28 2009 13:15. Posts 9 | | |
Just quit. It seems you are very tilt prone.
How are you ever gonna win being tilt prone?
That's silly. |
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Fayth   Canada. Jun 28 2009 13:24. Posts 10085 | | |
cashing out when you play anything below like NL100 seems flat out dumb to me |
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Im not sure what to do tomorrow when I see her, should I shake her hand?? -Floofy | |
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env0y_nl   Netherlands. Jun 28 2009 13:33. Posts 244 | | |
lol get a job and deposit 500$ dont stress this, make it a good hobby instead of pushing yourself in a stressfull position. |
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Conquer, but dont triumph | Last edit: 28/06/2009 13:36 |
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You guys are certainly right. Thanks for the comments.
I already applied for some jobs, hope I will get one and I also think I will only be successfull when I stop cashing out, because it's all a mind thing. |
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staxxx   Bulgaria. Jun 28 2009 14:48. Posts 652 | | |
It's all because of your expectations that you should win and when the swings push you down which is standard, you tilt.
I've also been there. You should only play with a comfortable bankroll at low enough stakes that a 5-10 bi loss means nothing to you. Then you can only watch your game and pay no attention to the swings, they will always happen. You just left yourself not enough room for downswings, so the tilt was guaranteed. |
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Cooper83   . Jun 28 2009 15:18. Posts 288 | | |
| On June 28 2009 12:33 env0y_nl wrote:
lol get a job and deposit 500$ dont stress this, make it a good hobby instead of pushing yourself in a stressfull position. |
This is probably the best advice to give, playing with no concern for the money is a great great feeling and you also never feel like you have to play so it's very easy to always play when your mind is right as opposed to fuck I gotta play now or I won't make rent. |
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what limit did u used to play? |
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| On June 28 2009 13:48 staxxx wrote:
It's all because of your expectations that you should win and when the swings push you down which is standard, you tilt.
I've also been there. You should only play with a comfortable bankroll at low enough stakes that a 5-10 bi loss means nothing to you. Then you can only watch your game and pay no attention to the swings, they will always happen. You just left yourself not enough room for downswings, so the tilt was guaranteed. |
this |
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SpeedyJack   United States. Jun 28 2009 15:55. Posts 618 | | |
In your last blog post you said you had $1500 but were underrolled for NL50, why is this? I thought 30 BI was pretty standard BR mgmt. |
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| On June 28 2009 13:48 staxxx wrote:
It's all because of your expectations that you should win and when the swings push you down which is standard, you tilt.
I've also been there. You should only play with a comfortable bankroll at low enough stakes that a 5-10 bi loss means nothing to you. Then you can only watch your game and pay no attention to the swings, they will always happen. You just left yourself not enough room for downswings, so the tilt was guaranteed. |
Damn all of this is so true...!!
| On June 28 2009 14:40 gororokgororok wrote:
what limit did u used to play? |
Have most hands lifetime on NL200, played occasionally NL400. |
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| On June 28 2009 14:55 SpeedyJack wrote:
In your last blog post you said you had $1500 but were underrolled for NL50, why is this? I thought 30 BI was pretty standard BR mgmt. |
Naw, I had about 2500$ and had to cash out 1000$ then lost about 500$ directly afterwards.. And then my br didnt even have 4 figures anymore ( idiotic, I know but it really tilted me ) and well, that's where it all started... |
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| On February 06 2007 13:51 ConquistadoR wrote:
Hey everybody, welcome to my little blog! 
I'm a former nl200-400 stakes player that has started from 5 dollars and has built his br within pretty much 1 year. (Started in 2005 november or december to play seriously, before that i did some playmoney, freerolls, etc.)
I kinda crushed every stake i played and have made some very nice profit in the last year. In november + december, i had kind of a long long bad run, but both months still were profitable at least.
Cashed out a lot at these times, and before that as well, to pay for my expensive lifestyle and thought i could never start losing over longer periodes at poker. Big mistake, i spent so much money on nothing, while stunting my bankroll enourmously. Nevertheless, life was great.
So at the start of this year i was playing nl200 with pretty much 20 buyins, had a bad start and dropped like 5-6 buyins directly at the first session this year. Ofc i refused to move down, very very bad.
So i basically managed to lose a big part of my br on these stakes, then i was even underolled for nl100, still i played it. Made a big part of my roll back, but then started losing it again. At least 3-4 times this has repeated itself. Well, to cut a long story short, i am currently down to 450$ since today (new down record) losing the last hundreds in various games such as nl 50 and nl 25.
Dont really know what to do anymore feeling kinda lost, but i hope this blog can help me a bit with releasing anger, etc and just write down my feelings, and results etc. Ill try to put in interesting subjects as well. So this blog is dedicated to my process in (hopefully) rebuilding my br, moving back up in stakes, and rebuilding/improving my player abilities. I just hope i will manage to get back to my old limits again, i know that i can beat them.
GO ME! Wish me gl. 
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yea, you probably should quit |
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im at nl25 cos ppl r more aggresiv they r shoving more and play better, so if i want too improve its +ev to play more nl25 before i move to nl200 - genjix | |
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the cleaner   Germany. Jun 28 2009 19:00. Posts 3014 | | |
I had 350 Oct. last year when I hit a brutal downswing and started running reaLLy good beginnning this year. Hang in there GL |
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there are no facts only interpretations | |
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