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milkman United States. Apr 01 2009 17:07. Posts 5719 | | |
Well since its April 1st, i decided to post up a story i wrote.. the idea behind this wasnt to trick the poker community, i wrote it to make people laugh, kinda like neillys "i quit" blogposts.
But what happened was, i sent it to foolsplay, he thought it was real, and i reailzed that everyone was going to think it was real.. after i found out people were believing the story, i started informing ppl that were in the story, to play along.
By the end of the first night it had been leaked that the story was fake. It had over 3K unique views and was crossposted on a few poker sites, but loco went on a "ITS FAKE!" rampage and runied all my fun.. Anyway i didnt write this on airl first or to fool ppl, but i had a great time reading it again, and thought other people might too.
| | On October 08 2007 02:52 milkman wrote:
The last 48 hours of my life have been fucking insane, i seriously am sitting in front of my monitors and thinking through all of these "what ifs" and contemplating if i have really screwed my life over and am heading down a wrong road, or if im just making a power play towards my true goal of becoming a great poker pla<x>yer.
Yesterday i woke up at about 2pm, pretty standard for me, i decided i was going to play a nl100 session, at this time i had about 5500 online and like 400 cash in my pocket. (nothing in bank) So im just doing my own thing, 4 tabling and minding my own business. I run into this guy that looks like he could be good, but probably marginal at best. He starts talking alot of shit and showing bluffs and/or nuts to diff ppl at the table. I didnt really get into many hands with him, he was playing 41/21/6 so i was just kinda waiting for the right time, i think i was sitting out of position on him. We get into a few hands, he cracks my AK with QQ and to berate me for getting AI PF, then we get in some shitty spot where im pretty sure i had the nuts with JJ but he floated me 2 streets with 45s and sucked out on the river.
A few hands went down and he just wouldn't stop talking shit, and i didnt know this at the time, but i was more tilted then i had ever been, i was getting so mad i was playing like any 2 vs this guy, and he just kept berating me every time i showed down, if i won or not. So ive i start talking back and telling him hes a monster douche and cant play poker for shit. He challenges me to HU for rolls. I SNAP call.
I get his aim (which ill leave out for now, but after tomorrow its fair game) and we start talking, he runs this bull shit line "Ill only play you if you play nl1000. 5/10" and im like "wtf u suck at nl100, why play 5/10?" basically i think he really didnt wanna play me anyways and was trying to back out of it... So i was like , fuckit, ill pwn this guy, doesnt matter. I sit 1 table of 5/10 and we start off, hes playing tight and like a newb, i started pwning him right off the start, playing a tight aggressive st<x>yle that donald taught me. We start playing and i went up a buyin really fast (like first 50 hands) and hes like "add another table" and im like wtf, ur getting owned, but i was up a buyin so i didnt even care.
From that point on, was the worst 1hr of my LIFE. THIS KID RAN BETTER THEN GOD. THIS KID WOULD MADE EARTH AND EVERYTHING IN LIKE 3 DAYS. Im not even kidding you he ran SOOO hot, we ended up opening 4 tables, i had almost my entire BR sitting on them, and playd it out, i had to close 1 table cuz i was running out of money.. this kid just kept fucking hitting everything, one point i got AK vs 89s AI PF and he spikes a 9 on the river. It was just the sickest thing i had ever seen. We were down to 2 tables after a few hundred hands and i had like 1500 sitting on both of them. I got pissed and jammed 66 vs him, he had QQ and pwned me on the table i had 1K on. So my roll is down to like 500 fucking dollars. I just sat there and thought about fuckin nl25 and the pain and suffering of sucking again..
Shortly after this, my parents were gone, i drank eveything with any alcohol in it. I think it added up to almost a 1/5th of hard A. but it was like half bottle of peppermint schnops and whiskey and all this random shit. Later that night i fuckin barfed cuz i drank a buncha baileys, and my parents woke up from hearing me puke. Luckly ive been sick for a while and i just told um it was from that.
Later that night ( this is yesterday night BTW ) i sat down and grinded out 12 tables of nl25, i made fuckin 20 buyins in 1 night. Im Still so fuckin pissed that lee makes me run good when i dont really fuckin even need it. I think i ran at 22ptbb/100 over 4.5K hands. So then my roll was at like 1K and im not feeling so bad about everything.
It was like 5am and starting to get light out, i watched like 8 episodes of entourage and i just got SOO fucking inspired by the show and everything that was going on in my life.. i was just like "fuck running bad in pokr, i can fucking do something about it, that doesnt involve poker." I have been running on 0hrs of sleep since i woke up at 2pm.
I sat there and wrote down on a peice of paper like everything that i had bought with poker, what my net worth was, and what i could do about it.
At this point, i made one of the biggest decisions of my fuckin life. I decided i was going sell everything i bought from poker, and my car. I knew my friend james "rush3420" was looking for a car, and i knew he had money on stars. And i knew he wanted my BMW i just wouldnt give him a decent price. Before i did that tho, i decided to make a few bucks, i got on craigslist at like 6am, found a sony 52" big screen tv (the boxy kind) and it was listed at 200$, i drove over to this garage sale at like 7am and picked it up for 150$ and brought it over to my moms new office and told her she could have it for 400$, so i turned a quick 250 profit there. I still hadnt slept and all the coffee was killing me, but w/e i invited my best friend and his GF over for breakfast, and i explained what had happened, he told me i was retarded. And i knew it, but didnt really care. We ate and talked for a long time about it, then i went to sleep and actually had a dream that i was making out with jan from the office.. anyway, i got up at about 12 or so, it was a really quick nap basically... I called rush and woke his ass up, told him what happened, he laughed for like 1 hr i think and i told him i was driving down, he lives in eugene which is like 60 miles away. He lives with Yomer here from LP. We all chilled out for a while, i had a few beers, told um all what happend, and they couldnt fuckin beleive it.. we just kinda laughed alot about it. Rush and I talked, i ended up selling my fucking car for 3K (which im still fuckin not happy about) but rush said depending on how well he runs, he might pay me another 1K. I also brough some other shit over because they had some azn kid friend that wanted some stuff. I sold my laptop for 300, my iphone for 300, and fucking 10 pairs of my 12 pairs of shoes.. i kept my nice new white ones tho. Yomer thought it was soo fuckin funny that he actually bought the shirt off of my back, but he offered me 50$ and i only payd 2 bucks for it, so i was like fuckit..
I had rush drive me to the bus stop (this is today btw at like 7pm) I didnt even have a shirt on, i was wearing my hoodie zipped all the way up. I sold my cash to rush and yomer for 102% so that was pretty cool. I got a bus ticket and got back home, still with no fuckin shirt. The bus took sooo fucking long, but we stopped in this town called albany, and this hot girl got on, and im not even fucking kidding u, i schooled the shit outa her, and i didnt even have a shirt on... but then get this beat..I fucking get her number, go to pull out my baller ass iphone, AND ITS GONE, CUZ I JSUT FUCKING SOLD IT. and im like.. umm u got a pen? so i write it on my fucking had, didnt even think about replacing my phone, and the fact that my sim card was in my iphone, so i duno when the next time im gonna have a phone is.. I got home tonight around 10, i had my mom pick me up. I had to fucking lie about my car, i told her the alternator broke while i was down in eugene and yomer was gonna help me fix it.. so she doesnt even know i dont have a fucking car anymore..
Anyway after selling everything i fucking own, and getting beated sooo hard by that girl. I Now have like 5.5K in my online roll, and still about 500 in my pocket.
Now i could see fucking grinding out nl100 untill i can buy another car and some shoes and shit, but what ive realized is, if you got a shot, u gotta take it.. i mean, ive been sitting here over rolled and buying stupid shoes and tanning packages and everything for so long, but really i didnt have anything that i didnt mind kicking aside to have my BR again.. So about 2 hours ago, i got on aim and msgd the guy again, i told him i wanna rematch. This time there is no fuckin way he will run so good. And i know what else i did wrong, i shouldnt play 4 tables because i get to distracted and stuff, so were only going to play 1. He demanded that it be at 5/10 again, but i dont really care, this is my shot, hes a fish and im going to seriously fuckin rape him.
I decided that since i have barley slept and the last 48 hours have been so crazy, were going to play tomorrow around 12pacific time. If anyone wants to watch thatd be cool, ill have donald on vent probably helping me out alot.
i cant wait to fuck this kid up sooo hard, im also gonna insta cash out like 3K after this and go buy a street bike, i didnt like my car that much anyway.
Anyway, im fuckin tired as shit, im gonna get to sleep, hopefully tomorrow will be one of the biggest winning days of my life. |
If anyone would like to read the comments (theres like 60 of um), heres the link to the original post.
http://www.liquidpoker.net/blog/viewblog.php?id=309906
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| Its hard to make a easy buck legally, its impossible to make a easy buck morally. | |
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genjix China. Apr 01 2009 17:24. Posts 2677 | | |
his name's dante fyi (steal) |
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| If you wish to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first invent the universe. | |
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Critterer United Kingdom. Apr 01 2009 17:32. Posts 5337 | | |
haha ye i remember reading this b4 |
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| LudaHid: dam.ned dam.ned dam.ned. LudaHid: dam.ned northwooden as..hole | |
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did u win your money back after rematch??? |
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I remember this. I didn't think I was here that long though, weird. |
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| ChipsOrGTFO ||| NeillyJQ: i need atleast 2 buy-ins, duh. | |
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Loco Canada. Apr 02 2009 02:19. Posts 21004 | | |
I remember that. I only did it because I had taken my time to write out a post and try to help you out and I think you had it deleted or something and I didn't want other people to waste their time like I did. If I had known you a little better it wouldn't have happened. |
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| fuck I should just sell some of my Pokemon cards, if no one stakes that is what I will have to do - lostaccount | |
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k2o4 United States. Apr 02 2009 17:10. Posts 4803 | | |
lol
was any of it real? what inspired you to write it up? it sure sounded real cause you hit the proper tone. hahah |
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TheTank United States. Apr 02 2009 19:54. Posts 830 | | | |
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| sigh...its like they are throwing money out of a helicopter and i dont have any hands...so i just break even. | |
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milkman United States. Apr 02 2009 20:18. Posts 5719 | | |
| | On April 02 2009 16:10 k2o4 wrote:
lol
was any of it real? what inspired you to write it up? it sure sounded real cause you hit the proper tone. hahah |
nah from what i remember, i was just grindin out a sesh, jumped in the shower and started thinking the story up and then got to typing..
i dont think ive ever done like anything in the story lol.. |
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| Its hard to make a easy buck legally, its impossible to make a easy buck morally. | |
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Spitfiree Bulgaria. Apr 03 2009 05:26. Posts 9634 | | |
well the story is great but if u actually had lived through it you would've been sickest hero of all times |
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ortak Bulgaria. Apr 03 2009 05:37. Posts 83 | | | |
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Sennpu Canada. Apr 03 2009 20:02. Posts 1960 | | |
hahaha gold and baal sound like a moron in the original thread bahaha standard xD |
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| then she ask me my qualities n bad qualities. so i tell her truth and she kinda laugh at me lol. then i ask her for hers and she gtg. i think it going ok. -Floofy | |
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