last night.

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milkman United States. Sep 02 2007 12:55. Posts 5719

so last night i went out to one of my friends partys and got fuckin retardedly drunk.. couple funny things happened... #1 i picked a girl up over my shoulder (were on a porch) then while i had her over my shoulder, i fuckin fell off the porch and landed in a bush, ripped my fuckin expensive pants, but its a rip i can play off. anyway after that, this girl my friend brought over was totally up on my dick and not his, so i was just hypin him up all night, trying to get the girl to focus on him (cuz last time we partyd i stole a bitch from him and i promised not to do it again) so anyway im gettin her all stoaked and shit, and we go on an "adventure" to the other house where ppl r sleeping and shes like "ok lets go find him, im rdy to go to sleep, i wanna sleep with him... well not with him like that, but next to him.. " and im like.. OK sick thats good enough for me.. and right after she says that, i hear him upstairs fuckin around with these other 2 random girls and one says "be careful im really sore" and i just start fuckin LAUGHING my ass off, and im like "well i dont think we need to go find him.." she gets totally mad and shit and starts clingin on to me and shit.. so im like "alright, ill go tuck u in, ill sleep with u, will that make u happy?" and shes like OBV duh insert cock into face... anyway i put her up there, and i run into the other house to talk to my friend, i tell everyone the story on the way cuz its really funny, then i go tell him, he doesnt find it 2 funny... then i tell him im taking over and if he wants, i wont do anything.. he says he doesnt care, but he really did, and he gets all upset.. so i fuckin go back into the other house and start to lay down with her and shit and assume the christopher "shits goin down" position.. and shes fuckin totally asleep, and im like wake the fuck up.. and she says "ur the one that left" and im like wtf fuckin bitches just dont know shit.. so i literally say this line (which may be one of my best pre-makeout lines ever... except for, "what ever happens tonight, just happens tonight, nothing tomorrow"

ANYWAY.. i say, and im quoting my self here.. "How fuckin stupid are you? youve been on my dick all fuckin night and now im rdy to throw down and u go to sleep? Who the fuck do u think u are? Do u know who the fuck i am?" and she is so tired and sleepingish she just replys with "well ur the one that left" so i just slept with her for the night and we both parted ways in the morning.. i fuckin lold... i also woke up totally drunk, drove like 2 blocks home, got outa the car and fuckin almost fell over backwards.. then playd a 40$ sat to sunday mill, and bubbled with 4bb AJ vs KK.. anyways im going to sleep.

0 votes

Its hard to make a easy buck legally, its impossible to make a easy buck morally.

Narious Canada. Sep 02 2007 13:02. Posts 4800

ROFL, Thats so messed up, but awesome story.

milkman United States. Sep 02 2007 13:05. Posts 5719

OHHH i forgot one awesome part.. she went to sleep and i couldnt sleep cuz i was 2 drunk.. so i fuckin pulled out my iphone and threw up the latest episode of entourage and set it on her head and watched till i fell alseep. BAWL-IN

Its hard to make a easy buck legally, its impossible to make a easy buck morally.

milkman United States. Sep 02 2007 13:11. Posts 5719

Its hard to make a easy buck legally, its impossible to make a easy buck morally.

Last edit: 02/09/2007 13:14

qwerty67890 New Zealand. Sep 02 2007 13:39. Posts 14026

girls are such fuckin retards

SneakrFreakr United Kingdom. Sep 02 2007 14:45. Posts 2534

haha nice story. should've take some pics with ur iphone tho!

rivered for my fucking bankroll - NeillyJQ

twotimesopt United States. Sep 02 2007 14:50. Posts 2393

On September 02 2007 12:05 milkman wrote:
OHHH i forgot one awesome part.. she went to sleep and i couldnt sleep cuz i was 2 drunk.. so i fuckin pulled out my iphone and threw up the latest episode of entourage and set it on her head and watched till i fell alseep. BAWL-IN

LOL
this whole post was A++++

quit tryin to be a repo man - definitely -EV and negative expectancy - AvidGambler