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Stories from the Emergency Room 1

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doctorstu   Australia. Jun 05 2017 22:21. Posts 362
I keep meaning to keep a journal of some of the stranger things that have happened in the emergency room this year and I figured I'd use this blog.

Case #1 - Almost dead woman with priorities

Pretty quiet morning in the high-acuity area when we get a call over the box. Pick up the radio and call all clear to proceed, EM says they have a ~50 year old woman, heroin overdose with GCS 3 who they've pumped with Naloxone but she's still struggling to not crash on them. Okay cool, see you in 5 minutes. Turn around a few times on my chair because I'm not on the resus team and wait to see what happens. She comes in virtually comatose with 2 lines already in and gets pumped with more naloxone. At this point I have a patient with DKA who needs attending so I go off for about 45 minutes.

I'm coming back from my DKA girl (who has subsequently gone to the bathroom, ripped her line out and absconded from the hospital because fuck me, right?) and I hear this ungodly screech:

"WHEEEEEEEEEEEERE'S MEEEE FUUUUUCKIN BAAAAAG!!!" and what looks like a hunched pile of rags shuffling through high-acuity.

No fucking way.

It's our heroin OD, she's up and she's PISSED she's been saved from her OD without her bag. Then here comes the kicker


10/10 priorities lady.

### Ask stu

Heroin OD a few days ago in resus.
Patient "I only took one hit"
Dr #1 "How much is a hit?"
Dr #2 "Ask someone"
Dr #1 "Who?"
Dr #2 "Ask stu"
Dr #1 "oh, yeah"
Me: ????

Dunno whether to be insulted or what.

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Myth: Yeah right, so you can hog all the 11 year olds for yourself? no way dude, Im not educating the fish. 

PuertoRican   United States. Jun 06 2017 17:12. Posts 11105

Good first story.

In the future, remember that we don't know what the acronyms are that you use, so spell it out completely.

Rekrul is a newb 

Naib   Hungary. Jun 06 2017 18:02. Posts 949

Consider yourself lucky then because it means your girl didn't make you watch Grey's Anatomy - yet.

My favourite line is Bet/Fold. I bet, you fold. 

YoMeR   United States. Jun 08 2017 23:42. Posts 12371

Nice story. I'll share one a doctor buddy of mine shared with me:

A female patient who is morbidly obese comes in with a really bad sore/infection around the abdomen for treatment.

After 30 min of questions and humming and hawing nothing made sense on how the infection came about. Eventually she broke down and confessed:

"My husband and I has recently started attempting to spice up our sex life. So we played a game where I would hide twinkies in my rolls of fat. And he would go and try to find them and eat them. I guess one never got found and was stuck there until it caused this sore/infection."

I didn't tell it perfectly but it was something along those lines. lololol

eZ Life. 

El_Tanque   United States. Jun 21 2017 02:53. Posts 348

Hmm a doctor on a poker forum...

It begs the question...

Did you ever get the shit beat out of you and drug off a plane?


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