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Busto ! |
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A little background:
I started playing poker as my only income late mid 2007. It was a no-brainer, after i figured out that i could make much more money playing poker, then i would in my old job as a shipping agent, where i would work day and night shifts and 50+hr/weeks. I have an autistic son, so being able to work at home was very important too, since it would be very stressful for my wife to take care of him alone. Things weren't always great, but over the years i have been able to buy an apartment, a car, my daughter's in her last year of high school and my son was going to a special school. Poker has also given me the freedom and money to visit my parents in germany, every year for the last 5 years. I wasn't making a great amount of money, with the best years probably averaging around 4000$ or 5000$/month and other years maybe 2500$ or 3000$/month, but it was much more then me and my family was used too. I have had several bad downswings over the years, but usually have been able to get out of them before things got to critical.
How did i get into this mess ?
I like this quote from Benjamin Franklin "Rather go to bed with out dinner than to rise in debt.", and that was my philosophy regarding debts. But when you get married and have wife and kids, you start getting softer and give in to to many things (big birthday parties, new kitchen, new furniture, trips etc.), even thought you know that they will catch up with you and give you trouble in the future. I'm easily persuaded, and it has given me trouble in the past, but i would just grind more and eventually get out of the problem. I started to get into a real bad habit regarding my money management outside of poker. Throughout the year i have basically been going back and forth from my normal level (100nl 6max) to regrinding at (50nl), and my cash game winning are basically (0)zero this year, so my only income came from vpp milestones, fpps and a little from sngs/mtt. I still made about 1500$/month on avg. this year, but that isn't enough to pay for monthly expenses, so i got into debt with credit cards and some personal debts (about 3k$). On my last downswing I couldn't turn things around and just kept moving down from 100nl to 50nl to 25nl about 10 days ago, and i just started playing 10nl today, mixed with 2.5$ 180s sngs.
My current Bankroll:
I have had a lot of stress/lifetilt the last couple of months due to the monetary pressure i have put myself into, and my confidence level is on an all time low. I contacted somebody on LP regarding a stake, and we talked yesterday (sorry Matt, didn't contact you, but i still feel kind of bad caused i failed at that 200nl 10buy in shot beginning of the year that didn't worked out). We talked yesterday, but it didn't worked out. I totally understand him, and tbh, in his shoes i would have taken the same decision. He explained to me that a stake has to be beneficial for both sides, and given my current situation (and poker ability judging from my yearly results) i can see how it is not the case. i would have benefited more from the deal, since one of the reasons that i was looking for a stake, was because i have 29k vpps to go to cash a 2800$ milestone on stars and wanted to avoid the regrind from small stakes. But given my poor results lately this seems like a bad deal for a staker. I have the up most respect for him anyways, and he's one of the nicest guys on LP. I just didn't really looked at it from his perspective.
What's the plan ?
*paying back debts will just have to wait
*wife started working 2 days ago (last time was 1999)
*grind 10nl till 500$, 25$nl till 1000$, 50nl till 3000$
*not doing the same mistakes again
Some images from my poker lifeline
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| there are no facts only interpretations | Last edit: 10/11/2012 18:59 |
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thats rough bro gl
only thing i can tell u is don't feel rushed to move up that will only makes thing worse and the more pressure u feel the worse it gets - poker will mess you up bad if you have a 'i need/must win' state of mind
maybe get a part time job as well just to ease it up |
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eestwood United Kingdom. Nov 08 2012 09:58. Posts 698 | | |
gl man, stay strong & turn it around |
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How long would it take you to get that bonus on NL50? |
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Eluflop Estonia. Nov 08 2012 10:21. Posts 3835 | | |
oh crap sad to read this man, but keep up the hard work, things will turn around !!! you can do it, im sure of it.... |
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DaEm0niCuS United States. Nov 08 2012 10:24. Posts 3292 | | |
Does wife have a degree? she didn't do anything for 13 years? lol.... Do you have a degree? no plan B? go play live poker.
Online poker isn't going to get any easier, seems like a pretty big dead end for you at this point. Your 2012 graph is very weird.
What's your overall hourly? surely starting a career must have crossed your mind. |
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| | Last edit: 08/11/2012 10:29 |
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CrownRoyal United States. Nov 08 2012 10:25. Posts 11385 | | |
cool post
sry to hear about ur lack of success though. |
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| | On November 08 2012 09:16 DustySwedeDude wrote:
How long would it take you to get that bonus on NL50? |
probably a 130k hands. |
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sChOuA Switzerland. Nov 08 2012 10:41. Posts 2302 | | |
Hey Ingo, sorry to hear about your problems, I'm sure you will get out of them, stay focused and positive man.
If you would like to talk, i'm on skype daily and happy to help if i can.
All the best man ! |
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| | On November 08 2012 09:24 DaEm0niCuS wrote:
Does wife have a degree? she didn't do anything for 13 years? lol.... Do you have a degree? no plan B? go play live poker.
Neither my wife or i have a degree. She used to work at the harbor master station before. That's where we met. Salaries in venezuela are extremely low, and her working wasn't really an option cause my kid needs full time attention, when he's not in school. At the moment I don't really consider taking a Job on the side, cause salaries are just so low that i could make more grinding 25nl.
Online poker isn't going to get any easier, seems like a pretty big dead end for you at this point.
Your 2012 graph is very weird. (calling it weird is an understatement 
What's your overall hourly? surely starting a career must have crossed your mind.) |
not sure what my overall hourly is. probably like 25$/hr or so. not this year tho. my plan is pay of the debts, sell the apartment next year and buy a house in margarita island. maybe something with rooms for rent to tourist, and keep on playing poker on the side. i don't think i have hit a dead end yet, but poker is definitely not going to get easier.
Neither my wife or i have a degree. She used to work at the harbor master station before. That's where we met. Salaries in venezuela are extremely low, and her working wasn't really an option cause my kid needs full time attention, when he's not in school. At the moment I don't really consider taking a Job on the side, cause salaries are just so low that i could make more grinding 25nl.
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| there are no facts only interpretations | Last edit: 08/11/2012 10:44 |
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| | On November 08 2012 09:41 sChOuA wrote:
Hey Ingo, sorry to hear about your problems, I'm sure you will get out of them, stay focused and positive man.
If you would like to talk, i'm on skype daily and happy to help if i can.
All the best man ! |
appreciate it man thanks. |
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| there are no facts only interpretations | Last edit: 08/11/2012 10:46 |
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thewh00sel  United States. Nov 08 2012 11:22. Posts 2734 | | |
Considered a stake that offers a % of that VPP bonus as part of the terms? seems like a decent option to allow for both parties to have similar goals. It's good that you live in a low cost of living country. I definitely wouldn't give up online poker if you can live on those yearly profits that you posted though, so I like that you're sticking with it even at the microstakes. I've considered moving to South America for online poker as the dollar just goes so much further. Hang in there and buckle down on expenses. Also run good, gl. |
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| A government is the most dangerous threat to man’s rights: it holds a legal monopoly on the use of physical force against legally disarmed victims. - Ayn Rand | |
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| | On November 08 2012 10:22 thewh00sel wrote:
Considered a stake that offers a % of that VPP bonus as part of the terms? seems like a decent option to allow for both parties to have similar goals. It's good that you live in a low cost of living country. I definitely wouldn't give up online poker if you can live on those yearly profits that you posted though, so I like that you're sticking with it even at the microstakes. I've considered moving to South America for online poker as the dollar just goes so much further. Hang in there and buckle down on expenses. Also run good, gl. |
thanks
I have to do the math regarding the % of that vpp bonus, sounds like a good option. i have made 271k vpps this year and need 29k vpps for this bonus (i hate the word milestone). For the last 2 years i have made 400k vpps, but due to the downswings this year obv. will not be able to reach that. But the 300k vpp is mine even if i have to grind micro sngs to get there. And i will definetly stick with online poker. I'll just have to get my mojo back. My EV adjusted BB winrate at 100nl should be a little over 1bb/100 mediocre yes, but not terrible. I don't think that games have gotten much worse compared to last year. |
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mnj United States. Nov 08 2012 11:56. Posts 3848 | | |
70k, definitely something to be proud of
gl mate |
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| | On November 08 2012 10:56 mnj wrote:
70k, definitely something to be proud of
gl mate |
Thanks man. well it's more like 200k$ considering vpps + sngs and some play at absolute poker that aren't in the database. but i did had to grind a shitload of hands too. I haven't really been able to try and move up, cause i made some investments like apartment/car and the rest would usually pay for the expenses. At one point it has become a huge grind. I'll have to try and get the fun back when playing poker. |
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mnj United States. Nov 08 2012 12:57. Posts 3848 | | |
holy shit, REALLY good job man.
imo take a page from whoosel's book. iirc he is paying for his car/apartment on credit to leverage a bigger bankroll. maybe there are still ways for you to maximize your your bankroll through different personal finance decisions.
even though i hate some of this gay, generic personal finance advice i think they do really help you. small things like buying cheaper soap and shampoo have helped me save 50 dollars on the year now. not that i save the 50 dollars, but i don't feel bad now about using that 50 to buy "irresponsible" purchases like massages and alcohol. |
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DaEm0niCuS United States. Nov 08 2012 13:04. Posts 3292 | | |
Didn't look at your country, in that case keep at it. Give live poker a shot if you got any there, make sure the rake is beatable first. |
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DaEm0niCuS United States. Nov 08 2012 13:13. Posts 3292 | | |
Also, staying home and taking care of a kid isn't really a good excuse to do nothing with your life. You can learn practically anything on the internet these days, learn to play an instrument, learn a new language, learn about personal finance management etc.
It's important to have skills in life, preferably at a very high level, poker teach's you that. I'm not a fan of support those who are not willing to work a little to improve their future.
I can be a bit harsh, best of luck and never stop trying to improve your game. Seriously though try live poker. |
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| | On November 08 2012 12:13 DaEm0niCuS wrote:
Also, staying home and taking care of a kid isn't really a good excuse to do nothing with your life. You can learn practically anything on the internet these days, learn to play an instrument, learn a new language, learn about personal finance management etc.
It's important to have skills in life, preferably at a very high level, poker teach's you that. I'm not a fan of support those who are not willing to work a little to improve their future.
I can be a bit harsh, best of luck and never stop trying to improve your game. Seriously though try live poker. |
yea i mean i have skills. i have worked in a lot of jobs troughout my life. probably more then most people my age (37). i used to work as a professional diver, seaman, shipping agent etc. eventhought i don't have a degree (cause of my own stupidity) i feel like i'm very professional in a lot of the things i have done. i definetly wish to learn to play an instrument, and maybe another language. i speak 4 (english, german, spanish and hungarian). and i do work hard to improve my future. and i do consider myself very hard working. actually i'm working since i'm 15 years old. that's when i left home with no money. but at this point in my life i rather try and open a small food business, or a house with rooms to rent, maybe a sailing yacht and do some charter whatever. Regarding my kid, he has autism, that's why we are around him most of the day. |
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