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August so far
SakiSaki, August 05
I guess I should do some writeup for july but it feels meaningless since i didnt play much at all. Probably ended up in the green for a couple of grand but im not sure. w/e.
This month is my last as a pure professional slacker/pokerplayer. I will be going back to school at the end of august so Im trying to put in as many hours as possible now while I can. It feels kinda good to go back to university again, even though its in a new town and I need to get an new appartment, learn to find my way around etc. Hopefully It will be baller though.
August has been going well so far, but mainly cause ive raped 3/6. I had a nightmare session of 5/10 where i dropped 10k in like 3-4k hands. But ive been grinding it out and now my 5/10 numbers are in the green atleast. Imo theres a pretty big skillgap from 3/6 to 5/10 but I dont care really. I wanna make 5/10 my bitch like before my big cashout and grind it for a good winrate during my years at the univerisity.
Results so far:

Im already longing for bahamas in january and the chance of getting to see milkman in a bikini again. Its going to be awesome.
wang
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Full story: getting arrested
byrnesam, August 05
So me and my mate are coming home from the bar when we decide to commit some crime.
We were pretty fuckin smashed so it seemed like a good idea. Then i see the campus security car drive past and i leg it off into the bushes, my friend was further down the road.
He got persued home by security guard then he bailed into some hedges and made it home safe.
However, i was about to take a bad beat in getting home.
Im walking down like 20m from my house. Cop car pulls up - fuck.

Cop 1: Quite young, athletic looking. He was calm when he was questioning me although he was using leading questions about crime which i didnt like.
He asks for my drivers licence so i give it to him. I only have a UK licence so its got my UK address on it.
Our conversation went something like this:
Cop: Where do you live?
Me: Sorry?
Cop: Where do you live?
Me: All my info is on my licence
Cop: Thats your UK address, whats your address here?
Me: All my info is on my licence.
There were now like 4 cops on the scene, 2 cop wagons and the campus security guard
ENTER COP 2!

Cop 2: Fat old cunt tried to pull the whole "tough cop" routine on me. He hears my conversation and runs over and starts yelling in my face
I continue to respond with "All my info is on my licence"
cop2: DO YOU WANNA BE ARRESTED? WHATS YOUR ADDRESS!?!?
me: all my info is on my licence......
i get thrown against the car LOL
he puts the handcuffs on me and then shouts "WHATS YOUR HOME ADDRESS"
I just look at him and he gives up. 
I get put into the back of the car (rear passenger side). Im sitting there and the cops are outside (rear drivers side)
I decide that I could probably make a break for it - so i shuffle along and undo my seatbelt and prepare to escape to victory. Unofrtunatly cop 1 saw me shuffling around and sat in the car with me.
He was filling out forms and i decided it was time to abuse him.
me: I used to bully kids like you when i was at school
cop: oh really?
me: yeah i bet you couldnt fuckin wait to become a cop so you get some power
cop: youre just a loser (i believe this statement to be false)
me: your the loser, id have beaten you up at school and chucked your backpack in the bin
I think then i started to just talk shit to him when he read my rights so hopfully theyd read it out in court. I remember telling him to write down "Rainkhan is good at basketball" but i dunno if he bothered.
I cant remember where the conversation went from there but i remember telling him to beat me up and that he could hit me in the face and stuff lol
So - back to the po po station. They lead me in and im fuckin around still
Theyre getting my possessions off me and im being an arse
First they questioned me about where i got $30 in $2 coins. I think i told them i robbed somebody at first, then told them Id won it on the slot machines (truth) coz i run so hot
The cop couldnt undo my belt buckle and i refused to tell him how to do it - i just told him whether he was hot or cold.
When my belt came off i wiggled about so my trousers fell down around my ankles then proceeded to gyrate around infront of the cops with my tongue out pussy lickin' style.
Then I started to french kiss the glass and tongueing the holes you have to talk through as the cop was sorting out my stuff infront of me
Being that i wasnt getting enough attention - i spat through the little hole. Got some good veloicity on it and managed to hit the lockers
Got shouted at a bit by the other cops then they decided it was time to scare me
Cop: Were gonna put you in with George
me: sweet
cop: george doesnt like white guys - hes gonna have so much fun with you tonight
me: all good man lets go
I get led to georges cell and they open the door. Hes some huge fuck and he was fast asleep. I didnt care and i went to walk in. Naturally they pulled me away and took me to my own cell.
It had all the mod cons youd expect. Toilet, sink, cups, 2 beds, matress.
I coma out and wake up and ive got a free breakfast from them.
I eat that and bang on the doors some more trying to get them to set me free but they tell me i have to wait
Then they bring me out, take my fingerprints and give me a mug shot. Then i get given my shit back.
I ask for a lift home but they dont oblige so i walk around for a bit then find a bus stop and get the bus home.
Court this thursday. should be fun.
brag: have now done time in the joint
beat: criminal record
variance: didnt get shanked
Does anyone else on the site have a record?
liquidcriminals.net
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Late Night In Vegas
JonnyCosMo, August 05
One of the nights after watching Die Hard 4 we decided that we'd all go over to Lyric's place and do some drinking / home game fun / beer pong shit / random hang out stuff. So we called all the LPers that went out to dinner that night to come over.

Lyric and Mango eating lunch at 1:00am
So we get to Lyric's house and already a bunch of people were over there so we decided to get some beer pong going in the backyard.

MezmerizePLZ and milkman getting set up for the 1st game
Needless to say... the night was going to be a long one.

Me & The Boys: SakiSaki, myself, TwistedEcho, and [vital]Myth

AWarmPlace (iamalex), SakiSaki, and TwistedEcho
Notice how it is dark outside, that will change later on...

Obv Myth likes his beer
Inside they decided to play a fun home game:

actionDJ on the far end of the table. westmenloAA is the dude standing up

Blind man's bluff action!

Over on the other side of the room we have another game going on:

TYROMPER on the left playing an intense game of CHECKERS!!
Back outside it wasnt looking too good for Echo and Myth:

Slurp that shit up Myth, dont leave a drop!

Myth = Champion

Mango and milkman getting totally pwned

My favorite picture from Vegas. We look so happy lol!
Around this point in the night we made a few crazy prop bets, one being that milkman had to get in Mango's bikini if he lost the beerpong game.

Echo laying down the law! Myth = Still Champion. Sun = Rising... Fast 

And obviously milkman loses...

And we have to capture the moment... Touch the titties!

actionDJ so hung over, Pavel hating the sun, Sun = Risen

Echo, milkman and Mango in the pool

Myth totally checking out Echo's package in this picture, sooo caught!
So with the sun out, we moved indoors where we set up an intense game of JENGA!!

Mango testing her luck

Lyric trying to help out. How is his hair so flawless at 7:00am?

Pavel being a total fish at this Jenga game
We all ended up leaving at around 9:00am...

Myth = In need of sunglasses
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Late Night In Vegas
JonnyCosMo, August 05
One of the nights after watching Die Hard 4 we decided that we'd all go over to Lyric's place and do some drinking / home game fun / beer pong shit / random hang out stuff. So we called all the LPers that went out to dinner that night to come over.

Lyric and Mango eating lunch at 1:00am
So we get to Lyric's house and already a bunch of people were over there so we decided to get some beer pong going in the backyard.

MezmerizePLZ and milkman getting set up for the 1st game
Needless to say... the night was going to be a long one.

Me & The Boys: SakiSaki, myself, TwistedEcho, and [vital]Myth

AWarmPlace (iamalex), SakiSaki, and TwistedEcho
Notice how it is dark outside, that will change later on...

Obv Myth likes his beer
Inside they decided to play a fun home game:

actionDJ on the far end of the table. westmenloAA is the dude standing up

Blind man's bluff action!

Over on the other side of the room we have another game going on:

TYROMPER on the left playing an intense game of CHECKERS!!
Back outside it wasnt looking too good for Echo and Myth:

Slurp that shit up Myth, dont leave a drop!

Myth = Champion

Mango and milkman getting totally pwned

My favorite picture from Vegas. We look so happy lol!
Around this point in the night we made a few crazy prop bets, one being that milkman had to get in Mango's bikini if he lost the beerpong game.

Echo laying down the law! Myth = Still Champion. Sun = Rising... Fast 

And obviously milkman loses...

And we have to capture the moment... Touch the titties!

actionDJ so hung over, Pavel hating the sun, Sun = Risen

Echo, milkman and Mango in the pool

Myth totally checking out Echo's package in this picture, sooo caught!
So with the sun out, we moved indoors where we set up an intense game of JENGA!!

Mango testing her luck

Lyric trying to help out. How is his hair so flawless at 7:00am?

Pavel being a total fish at this Jenga game
We all ended up leaving at around 9:00am...

Myth = In need of sunglasses
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asdfgh
byrnesam, August 04
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good session
SakiSaki, August 03
6-tabling 5/10 zomg

sad thing is, this only makes up for the two last horrible sessions of 5/10 ive played. Awell, atleast im in the green.
Good night.
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CREATE LIFE LOL
byrnesam, August 03
Dear byrnesam,
Your order will be shipped within 4-6 weeks to:
Sam Byrne
YOU KNOWZ IT
NEW ZEALAND
Please verify that all details of this order are correct,
and do not hesitate to contact us at fppstore@PokerStars.com
if you have any further questions regarding this order.
Thank you for your order from our FPP Store.
This confirms that you have ordered the following:
Chris Moneymaker Commerorative Medallion Limited to the first 2000 orders
FPP price: 1500
Best Regards,
The PokerStars Cashier
YES
IM NEVER GONNA FUCKING REGRET THIS ORDER NO MATTER HOW DRUNK I AM
GENIUS PURCHASE!
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mini episode 4
byrnesam, August 02
I get into trouble for breaking something that belongs to her...

she wasnt happy with me. full episode to come.
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Daut the evil mastermind
SakiSaki, August 02
As many of you have seen, Ryan Daut is in his blog claiming that my future whife, random german beer drinking girl, is infact his girlfiend Helga. Most people have accepted this fact since Daut actually provided factual evidence in pictures of him and "Helga". Undisputable evidence, some would say.
Or is it?
I will hereby prove that theres pictures are fake, forged to make me give up on my goal to find this godess and when doing so giving Daut a head start.
Lets have a look at the first picture shall we?

Ah, such a cute couple in a loving embrace, you just cant fake love like that. Or can you? Lets take a closer look.

When we look closely at the shadows on #1. dauts shoulder and #2. the beer shadow, we come to a terrifying conclution. The light seems to be coming from two diffrent sources(as indicated by the arrows)eventhough the picture clearly states that daut and "helga" was outside on a bright sunny day when it was taken. Intriguing yes?
Well, sometimes light can play with the mind you might say. Not yet convinced? Lets continue.

A neat picture indeed, but is it real?

Have a look at "Helga"s neck.(#1) if you focus totally on one spot by her neck it almost seems like the neck doesnt fit with the rest of the body. You can easily miss it but an experienced observer as myself did not. Well isnt that strange mr Daut? Strange indeed. Also note echos eyes(#2)and how they are completely fixed upon the camera. Thats just such a logic flaw that im surprised Daut overlooked it. There is just no way any guy would look at the camera when theres a hot chick like "Helga" present in the room. Especially not a british guy since the british werent really blessed with the best goods god had to offer when it comes to females(sorry guys but its true :/)
Still thinking the pictures are real? Fine, I have saved the best for last. Have a closer look at echos shirt. Looks just like a fresh tshirt any baller young chap would wear doesnt it? But theres more than meets the eye here. Lets see what comes out when we zoom in on the #3 square 10,000,000 times.

Daut, in his own ignorance and delusion of grandeur where so confident that he would never be caught in this horrible lie that he even left clues about his devious crime in the actual picture!
Oh Ryan Daut you fool! Thinking you could go up against me and live through another day!
My work here is done. Random german beer drinking girl, Im coming for you my love! And not even the 2007 PCA winner can stop me!
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beerchick after a few
byrnesam, August 02
she is fucking gorgeous

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Sorry sakisaki, but stay away from my gf
Daut, August 02
It appears that the side of the picture kingkory posted was cutoff. That is my girlfriend helga:

here's a picture of her with me and echo in the bahamas:

I'm going to Konstanz next weekend to visit her. If i hear any creepy phone calls coming from you im gonna be pissssssssssed.
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Sorry sakisaki, but stay away from my gf
Daut, August 02
It appears that the side of the picture kingkory posted was cutoff. That is my girlfriend helga:

here's a picture of her with me and echo in the bahamas:

I'm going to Konstanz next weekend to visit her. If i hear any creepy phone calls coming from you im gonna be pissssssssssed.
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Im in love
SakiSaki, August 02
This is kinda embarrasing to admit but Im deeply in love.
It all started with somebody making a thread about getting their neteller money back. In said thread kingkory posted this picture:

My first reaction was nothing more than omg cute girl drinking beer ship it new wallpaper. But as time went on, everytime i minimised a window, she was there. Smiling her beautiful smile at me, slowly melting my cold scandinavian heart.
I now have to admit it. Im deeply in love with random german beer drinking girl. I want nothing more than to marry her, raise a family and share plates of sauerkraut with here for the rest of my life.
We could buy a small cottage somewhere in south germany. We would start a small local beer brewery where my love will work while I play poker and raise our horde of 12 little german kids. Sometimes we invite our friendly neighbour Klaus the bratwurst maker and his whife Bertha for a delightful dinner.
Random german beer drinking girl's best friend "persumably hot girl to the left with a beer covering her face" lives nearby and sometimes when the kids are at summer camp she comes over to still random german beer drinking girl's craving for hot threesomes.
Basicly im pretty sure we would live a full happy life together. Theres just one little problem. I need to find out who she is. I can hardly ask here to marry me if I do not know her name and where she lives.
So if anyone has any information about random german beer drinking girl please let me know, this heartache is getting unbareable.
<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3
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Meet Milkman...
JonnyCosMo, August 01
This blog post is more like a preview before the movie starts:

More to come tomorrow...lol
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Meet Milkman...
JonnyCosMo, August 01
This blog post is more like a preview before the movie starts:

More to come tomorrow...lol
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episode 3: medical adventure
byrnesam, August 01

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Apocalypdaut
Daut, August 01
I just saw apocalypto and i am inspired. Going to quit poker, change my name to Jaguar Paw, move into the wilderness and hunt tapirs.

please dont come conquer my lands evil white men.
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Apocalypdaut
Daut, August 01
I just saw apocalypto and i am inspired. Going to quit poker, change my name to Jaguar Paw, move into the wilderness and hunt tapirs.

please dont come conquer my lands evil white men.
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End of July
TianYuan, July 31

Sooooo, it ended alright after yesterday's downswing (I started off making 500$ in an hour so that's why the fall is so huuuuge) I managed to recover today.
Played.. hm. Better, had some luck (and some bad luck). I played a little bit looser/less scared during my second session today, made a few stupid mistakes because of it probably.
Anyway, nice that I was able to salvage July at least somewhat (well the graph is july+1 hour of august).
Maybe I'll post some hands later, or you can just check the mass hands I posted.
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visual episode 2
byrnesam, July 31
further beats endured tonight, all of this is true:

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