i'm not sure i truly need to keep updating, but it seems to help me a bit and u guys enjoy it, so whatever.
I followed LP advice, used lube, did a lot of preliminaries, and it did get in. But its like reallllyyyy tight, and she feels more pain than pleasure. It takes a while to get it in all the way. I supose it will eventually get better. Strangely, i can't give her orgasms, and she can't do it herself either (she says she never got an orgasm her whole life). This is strange because i've usually been good at giving girls orgasms with my fingers. Its like when she gets close to it, it gets too intense and she stops me. She begins to shake n shit. SO anyways, sex isn't perfect, but i think its slowly getting better, and outside of sex, everything is great with her.
But the real problem which happened recently is, i meet her parents. Her parents are like, upper class, and seems to be very stuck up about everything. Her dad even wanted us to sleep in different beds. Their house is super clean.
The mother in law seems ok. She smiled, talked to me, overall seems fine. The girl even said her mom thought i was cute.
But the father in law seems like a problem. THe whole time i was there, he was always very cold. No hand shaking, no smiling, etc. He reminds me a bit of Tywin lannister from game of thrones (serious, no smile, logic based, etc). I love tywin, but not as a father in law. He is a old finance guy. The girl admitted to me her dad said he wasn't impressed at all about me, and doesn't really like me. She added what matters is she feels good with me. But i can see she isn't happy about her dad not liking me, she probably cares about her dad's opinion. She seems very close to her parents, and she's your typical daddy's little girl.
My guess is he didn't appreciate how some guy had some sex with his virgin girl on the first date in his own house. The girl says her dad doesn't know about it, but i doubt he bought the "we played wii" story. It could also be because my "Manners" are not exactly perfect, and maybe he has really high standards for his son in law.
So anyways, i'm kinda disapointed, cuz when i visit her, i don't really have the choice to see her father. And i can see it affects her. I'll try to talk to her more tonight.
Learning from your own mistakesby The Dean, October 27
I was having a discussion with someone yesterday about the profitability of online poker games. I started playing full time in 2002 and I have steadily reduced my stake levels over the years as on a level by level basis the games became far tougher.
These days I play NL100 on fairly easy sites like 888poker and that is fine by me to be honest. I also play full ring where I think the average line up is softer than in a comparable six max. However I do feel that mistakes are punished more these days than they used to be. The game itself is much less forgiving and you simply don't get enough opportunities to win the money back what you lose.
So discipline is massive now but a few days ago I spewed $300 in a fashion that left me somewhat bemused. I hadn't done this sort of thing for ages and so it disturbed me to think that I was actually capable of this sort of behaviour. I pride myself on acting professionally but it just rammed it home to me that we never ever stop this battle with ourselves. I always think that the biggest battle is with what we have between our two ears.
So I am taking a few days off away from the games and coming back on 1st Nov after reflecting on where I am at this moment in time. There are still good profits to be made at the lower levels but you need discipline at all times and not just 99% of the time in a game like deep stack NLHE.
And there is my first tourney win ever. :D We made a deal, cause PLO is full of fking variance. First place was 101.98, so I gave up 6 bucks to lock up the tourney. Fucking feels awesome. :D
I'm actually thinking of quittingby Gnarly, October 26
Besides the bullshit trolling I do on here, especially with my 4nl hands, I've been regularly playing live for about half a year now and have been doing alright. (50-200nl) However, lately, my paranoia is getting to me. I swear, getting the SAME hand at least 20 times each night for weeks? Then, EVERY FUCKING MONSTER gets busted. Aces have all been busted this month, kings, queens, jacks, all ace high flushes, every boat, every set, fucking everything. I'm down only a buy in for this month, but I'm fucking buckling under my paranoia. I can't decide if the dealer is fixing the cards, I can't decide if I should fold aces pre flop and just start only pure bluffing, since it seems I never get called when I make moves, or if I should just quit at least for half a year or so.
I honestly feel a lot safer pure bluffing than having the stone cold nuts. I would be up so much this month and it eats me alive when I see everyone else getting paid off on their monsters. I don't know if I'll be able to stay away, which I need to since I'm sure I'll be on tilt even before I get to the game, but I got to.
woke up 6:20
7:00 Gym
protein shake
bought loads of vegetables 2kg of lean pork/chicken frozen spinach and 1kg plain Muesli with nuts to last me whole weekend.
no distractions, just family lunch on Sunday. Might go for a run tomorrow morning
lets get this grind started, 30hrs is the goal this weekend pow pow pow. if I manage 55hrs in the next 8days I get to buy these puppeys for $160 (would finish my 100hr/14days thingy) http://i.imgur.com/pMrqoHE.jpg
Just wanted a little bit of help putting a video from another site up on YouTube. I'll ship $20 to whoever can help me out. Video is from where I played on Live at the Bike this past weekend. I'm a little preoccupied and lazy atm so if someone could help me out I'd appreciate it.
Travel - Sweden/Norway/Chicago + Weight Lossby Svenman87, October 22
Hello LP'ers hope all is doing well!
Well since breaking up with my gf of almost 2 years, I've decided to really look at my life and make some major changes. The two main ones that I'll discuss are closely related and I'm sure if you've read my blogs in the past or seen about 1/4 my posts you could have guessed what one of the two would be.
1.) Get back into shape and start hitting the gym haaaaarrrrrdddd
-Been going nearly everyday for 45-60min cardio sessions in the morning and a second session Monday-Friday in the afternoon to lift with some friends.
-So far it's been really awesome - I've lost nearly 40 lbs in 4 months (I got fat as fuck... 6'1'' 265 lbs and didn't give a shit about myself)
-Also awesome to see some really big gains (to be expected the first year). To the point where I'm nearly caught up with my buddies who have been lifting for nearly 8 years, and in a few lifts I've already surpassed them.
2.) Stop binge drinking
-Have had an issue with alcohol ever since I was in high school, and it's only really gotten worse since turning 21.
-Hard to keep on a diet when you can drink nearly all your caloric allowance in a span of a single night (not including the drunk munchies that come w that)
So yeah that's basically the health side of things I wanted to discuss. I'll probably post pictures in the next few months or when I'm happy with my progress which is most important to me. I don't have a "weight goal" as I don't see that as a healthy way to lose weight. My goal is actually pretty simple, be happy with myself.
I realize that sounds fucking stupid to some, but I can honestly say I've hated myself and this person I've started portraying for a very long time. Have had depression most of my adult life and I'm honestly turning my life around and it's really exciting for me.
**PSSSSSSSST - another reason to get into shape is somewhat of a selfish reason and it has to do with the next portion of this blog**
TRAVEL!
Anyways this blog is getting kind of long and I had originally wanted to keep it cliffs... blahhh
Okay going to Chicago next weekend to visit my cousin, should be fun to go out and see her and her crew. Haven't been out there in a few years and it's always a lot of fun.
Also just bought my tickets to Swedeeeeeennnnnn for next year's Midsummer, will be out there for a little over 2 weeks. Still planning shit out of what I'll be doing, I want to visit Norway for a few days and see my relatives because I think that'd be fucking badass. Then I'll be heading over to my longtime online buddy who lives in Gusum and we'll be hanging out there and might be planning a road trip all around Sweden. When I get more of an idea of my schedule I'll probably create a thread since I'd want to have a beer with quite a few of you awesome Swedes! Also hopefully by mid June I'll be in a place where my fitness should help me with those legendary Swedish babes I hear so much about :3 hah
Anyways LP - I really hope everyone is doing well and as always take care! I'll leave you with this turrible picture of me from a few days ago.
http://i.imgur.com/y2FS530.jpg
slept for like 3 hours almost immediately after taking this (been getting my ass kicked in the gym)
Mustache should be pretty awesome come June in Sweden, and I can now finally go as the monopoly man for Halloween (cheapest costume evarrrr)
A wholesaler is offering a form of expertise in there being able to find and negotiate good deals. Their ability to provide good estimates of rehab costs and their ability to find good comps in determining a likely ARV.
Ok I am scurred. I'm still writhing over a bad fold I made last night in a huge pot at a live NL200 game. I've been struggling to come to grips with what happened other than me making a somewhat questionable soul read.
Then it dawned on me moments ago what happened. While I had fully intended to shove any non-heart turn card (even as deep as we were), I froze when I got raised. I mean that just changed everything for me and suddenly there was a possibility I might actually lose this massive hand. Aside from the obvious complications of being 7 buyins deep which is certainly foreign territory to me, the simple fact of the matter is that I was playing SCARED MONEY.
My quandary is that the lowest live limit available is NL200, which is right on the cusp of affordability for me. My job pays me more than the average NL200 winrate, but not so much more that I can risk thousands of dollars on a bankroll. Plus I have bills, duh. Since my bankroll is theoretically infinite due to having this thing called a job, I go ahead and take 3 buyin shots and stuff because hey, I might flop a set in a $1700 pot. The only problem is that because these are home games I'm obligated to stay a certain amount of time. I cant hit n run, which is what I really should be doing to build my bankroll. I would never sit with $1000 live or online, not at least if nobody else covered. But this is a rather frequent occurrence in the home game arena. I've run my stack up to 1k on dozens of occasions, only to piss it away and maybe cash out $200 profit at the end of the night.
I fucked up that hand so bad because I was too scared to see it through. Had this been for $400 or so, ez peasy. Had I been able to change tables once I won around $600, ez peasy. So where does that leave me? I cant hit n run or else I'll never be invited back. There are no casinos nearby, and I'm not such a donkey that I should quit. Well for the time being I think that means I have absolutely no choice but to go back to playing online again. I dont really require a full bankroll since as mentioned, I can just reload. I think I'll just deposit what would ordinarily be my stop-loss to avoid tilt, which is around 3 buyins. Having $0 in my account should really help prevent spewing. It's also a bit of a chore for me to deposit online, as I have to execute a bank wire which takes a few days to complete, a perfect opportunity to cool down and retrospect.
My other option is to just take trips to the nearest casino which is 4 hours away like once per month or something. This will probably be pretty bad for my growth as a player by having such huge breaks between sessions. Not to mention the resources exhausted just in getting there. At least I can always hop tables though. I apologize to the poker community at large for hit n' running, but the simple fact is I neither know how to play deepstacked, nor have the bankroll to risk multiple buyins on a single hand.
I looked through the posted hands when bored and away from home. Nothing is on TV. I had nothing else to do....so I trolled. Yep, I made a long post and I did my best not to make it too obvious of a troll.
Dammit, I get called out on it.
A couple of days later? EVERYONE is trolling in the hand posting section.
Yeah, I'm cool.
On a non-trolling / serious note: I just flew back from Bismarck, North Dakota. It's a quaint place. Everyone seems to be friendly, the landscape is pretty, and it is easy to get around. I met with the company vice president, controller, assistant controller and payroll manager. They were all pretty awesome and I could see myself really enjoying working with them. The company builds and provides maintenance for power plants, pipelines and other industrial type construction. I would be working in payroll.
The downsides to Bismark are that, while it is a city (sort of) and is the second highest populated place in the state, it is only about 100k people. It doesn't feel like it - it does not have the small town feel, but certainly does not feel like a city. The weather is cold. I found it chilly when there (around 40 degrees F) but I am told that the winters get really windy and lots of snow. I could expect, with the wind chill, 10-30 degrees F below 0.
I can deal with that. The craziest part? It is the housing situation. IN the entire city, there are something like 4 or 5 houses available for sale (at least that was what I was told by realtor) and just about every apartment I contacted was full and had waiting list. Of the apartments that were available, I am looking at rents of $1k+ for small one bedroom units.
I was able to find a place - brand new construction - that had a decent 2 br for $1160 a month - practically a steal price wise and for the quality. The problem is that wages haven't quite caught up to the rent. Now, even though there is virtually no unemployment and every place of business has a help wanted / now hiring sign up, it is still difficult to afford rent. I could get a decent place in LA for what I would have to pay in Bismarck, but I would make more money in LA. McDonald's is starting people at 15 an hour part time, and something like 12.50-15 full time, with a $500 bonus, but even on wages like that, how could someone afford $1k for a rent?
I have figured that I will pay ~ 14k in rent a year, but before taxes, that accounts for about 19k of my salary. I am expecting to earn a first year salary in the mid to high 40s. That is insane, about half of my salary will go to rent!
Got some estimates on shipping my belongings up there, as well. That will cost ~ 4.3k plus I have to find a way to get my car up there (i am not driving it 1.5k miles). the simple solution is to sell everything and replace it when arriving (if that is what I choose), because that would be more cost effective. I have a nice car, but it is getting older and up there in miles, so it is also replaceable.
My step dad thinks that, no matter what, I should go to North Dakota. I feel like he is serious, but there is a chance he, too, is trolling. What a sick troll that would be. My mom thinks I should chase the money. My father thinks I should chase the money.
The job and the people I would work for in ND are certainly better, no doubt. The cost of living is ridiculous, mainly because of the rent. That is what is causing me trouble at the moment, because even though Wilmington, NC pays quite a bit less, I would have a larger discretionary income, with much better weather.
ultimately, i want to choose what will be better for me down the road. the job in bismarck, ND offers that, but because of the high costs, i will likely struggle financially for the next couple of years while earning raises. i do not think the company is going to blow me away with their offer by throwing way more money at me.
someone made the point that, in wilmington, i could always look for another job. this is a good point. in ND, i would need to be committed to that job for at least 3 to 5 years. in wilmington, i would leave in 1 year if i found better.
i am supposed to receive an offer either monday or tuesday. a person i trust said to make sure i get details on certain perks, like the offer for them to pay for my masters degree, so that i do not get stuck agreeing to something where i wouldnt be eligible for raises while in the degree program, or if i leave the company before so much time, i have to repay the costs of my masters.
he also suggested i investigate the target bonus size and raise size, as i might start out at X but get a significant bump in each pay raise (eligible for a raise every 6 months).
Time to make the tough decision; I get my offer Monday. I have to decide by Wednesday (for either job) as I would need to move next weekend or just after.
Without seeing pocket aces? For my cash game, I haven't seen aces in 1200 hands so far. Statistics say I should see one in every 250 or so. I really hope I can make it to 2k hands without seeing aces. Oh, wait. As soon as I'm typing this, I get aces. What the fuck. So weird.
Looking for stake AND mentoring.by napoleono, October 19
Some of you may be aware (from the ranting of posting the hands), that I made some deep runs this week in several micro stakes MTT's, namely:
2.2E - 13th out of 766
2.2$ - 47/5757
1.1$ - 22/8957
2.2$ - 39/3585
There were some more in the area of 100-200th position out of a couple K, but those are irrelevant. So what Im looking for is to get some coaching/hand reviews/something along that line, to fare better in these tourneys and do better in the late part as I feel pretty lost and play like a pussy pretty much, thus giving up +EV situations. I REALLY WANT to win a tourney and am willing to work hard for it. I dunno really how staking works, but we could do something like 50/50 of the risk, and 60/40 of profits in my favour. I play only up to 3$ currently, but would like to play some Big 4.4, Hot 5.5 (so up to 5$ at max). But we can figure these out if there is somebody willing to help me.
Have skype, will provide anyhing needed. I'm sure we can work out the details, I'm really flexible and looking for this, because of needing that little edge (and also cause I dont want to pay 150-200$ for an hour of coaching - I dont need a real pro to help me through the problems I have)
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