Poker Blogs

I used to be a winning reg but quit since black friday. I'm looking to learn the "solver" and how people are thinking of poker these days. The goal is to move to vegas or travel around to win a little playing live, for fun. Teaching is the best way to learn and solidify what you think you know, so teach me! : )




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https://www.liquidpoker.net/h/1080484


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Haven't posted a hand for a while:
https://www.liquidpoker.net/h/1080482


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So today
I was plying too many tables, 6 I think (usually I play 3-4) already feeling anxious and then finallty I hit a set multiway

Get it all-in, 88 vs 66 on 86X all happy as he shows 66
But then on the river...King
And he flips over...Kings somehow even though he's already shown 66, and I lose just feeling shitty, day's ruined, how can this happen
https://media.giphy.com/media/1WUjIfTTaqHK0/giphy.gif
It all felt completely real, but then . . .I woke up
It took me a while to realize it actually didn't happen, the feelings were so real!

And I was so happy to just wake up into a new day
https://www.dailydot.com/wp-content/uploads/31d/47/race.gif

Thanks for reading everyody,
Appreciate ya
https://media.giphy.com/media/eYgVBZKw2LG6Y/giphy.gif


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After so many years, I still play around NL5
And although living off microstakes and eating ramen has been fun, but I'm 31 now and it's time to stop.

I want to thank you all on LP for supporting me, my last couple hands really opened my eyes.
Thank you for the words of wisdom

https://i.gyazo.com/0c1b2b171fec6fd40eb7814b55e44bb0.png

https://i.gyazo.com/eb988c53e4c8c1874a5a4fddde9833aa.png

https://i.gyazo.com/69fcb801ea7137e0e9722d1e5c3c6990.png

This site gave me a lot, and i will never forget all the support.


It's time for a stable job at last, Luckily I don't have to go too far.

Recently I've climbed all the way up to Ancient[2]in Dota so will give my shot streaming and grinding the MMR, and surely become a pro within months when I stop putting so much futile effort into microstakes poker, and I will have a steady profession at last that society respects.


Thank you, and best of luck in whatever you do, this is my goodbye.




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I don't know. I felt like writing a journal. Figured I would do it on here. If I get comments great. If not then at least I spent some time writing some things out.

I was doing some spring cleaning and found a garbage bag full of what was my sock drawer. I had an excessive amount of condoms in there. I think I bought so many because I got a good deal but also because I thought that was going to be my life when I moved near Chicago. Well, they were sitting in that bag expired before I threw them all away. My clothes too were different. I definitely didn't have it figured out. Will I ever have it figured out? Is all we can hope for is to be present in meditation? I mean I am sitting here writing this blog. I am grasping. I am gasping. Yet, I feel comfortable.

Masturbating and eating too much are probably my biggest vices at this point. That isn't so bad. Sometimes I have anxiety attacks when calling people on the phone. That's weird I don't know where that came from. Similarly, I get anxiety attacks sometimes maybe all of the time when reading in a recovery meeting or if I am going to share. It's just weird and it's frustrating and it's tiresome.

Sometimes going online offers some relief but most of the time it is just nothing. I go to LP and there is almost always nothing nowadays. I go to facebook which I regret getting back on and it is just the same old stuff. Nothing substantial whatsoever. In fact, I am going to deactivate now. Deactivated. Then I go to reddit r/gonewild and just scroll through. Just scroll on through. I don't even masturbate I just scroll. Then sometimes I go to pornhub and just watch clips. Then sometime I masturbate. That pretty much sums up my activities online. When I am in the grips of that cycle if I go through that cycle and get bored with it at some point I am in complete existential despair. I mean not really but it is like the circuitry in my brain can't handle it. I need some type of stimulus. It's basically just what I do when I get home from work. I sit down and get hooked. Then after I eat a meal or something I have to let the food digest a bit before I can lie down and read a book.

And, I am sitting here writing a blog instead of going to an AA meeting and sort of complaining about the whole thing. I have to do something if I don't go to a recovery meeting. Oh man, we have definitely been through this before. I feel like I am growing as a person and figuring some things out but my life can sometimes seem like some vicious loop cycle. It's like one has to figure things out and get ahead of the curve in certain areas. When I got ahead of the curve in poker that was good but I fell behind the curve in other areas that were important. Or, I am just being me. If I am being honest there are just sometimes I'd rather just chill on the internet and read a book than go out with people I don't know too well. What I would really like to do is get really really high and watch some Planet Earth. That's the truth and that's a problem for an addict like me.

Oh well, tomorrow I can deadlift. Everything is right in the world when I am deadlifting. I think my food has digested enough to start reading. Until next time.


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https://www.liquidpoker.net/hand/hand.php?hand=1080080


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Anyone else trading on exchanges in mine-ables?

I've been handling a Gemini Exchange for a few months. Apparently the twins are $1,000,000,000++++. I don't care for it TBH.

NE1 familiar with the ratios?

I don't understand BTC -> ETH but the exchange does not have ETH -> BTC

Gemini

what the hell are you supposed to do with your Ether?

Ether (ETH)




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I feel like things are not that good? I mean I continue to write blog posts that few will read and almost none comment on. I mean that is a small part of my life but I think it takes power from me. I really think being on facebook is disempowering as well. It's just bullshit I don't need. Who to add, who to not add. I haven't seen any events that I am missing out on yet either. The most de-energizing is to get caught just scrolling through my feed like a mindless zombie just not even entertained or really just pissed off I got hooked. Fuck it. I'll use it as email and patiently wait for all these events I'm supposedly missing out on.

What I need to be doing is crushing it at work and then get over to the Charleston Tibetan Center to do some meditation under the guidance of a Buddhist teacher and then grab some dinner with a friend at a bomb ass diner.

Blogging kind of feels like a junk activity. I will probably still do it just because I am hooked but right now I am not happy about it. So, I will stop.


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--- Nuked ---


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https://www.liquidpoker.net/h/1079898


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Third hand is here: https://www.liquidpoker.net/h/1079896


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I turned 34 today. I have celebrated by going to a therapist appointment, picking up my car in the shop, paying a $600 car bill, and then coming home to have some lunch and then finally to have a wank to r/gonewild. I think it's more interesting just to look at and observe. I feel a similar feeling to when I eat a fast food burger and fries with a huge sweet tea. Which I haven't done in two months which is pretty good. So, I am still trying to get outside myself and looking for instant gratification. I really want to do shroom therapy. I wish that was more of a thing.

So, my relationship with AA and the people in AA seems like a tenuous one. My therapist recommended that I go to different recovery like something called Refuge Recovery. She also suggested that I volunteer in something I am passionate about. The first thing that came out of my mouth was homeless people and addicts. I think that is probably true. Why not attempt to help some of the people that have been beaten down and battered by the system? Does anyone on here volunteer? I would be interested in the possibilities.

I ate so much chocolate cake last night it feels like I gained 5 lbs. I wouldn't say my campaign to drop some body fat is hopeless but it certainly could be going better. Also, when I went for a run I acquired hideous shin splints and had to stop running at about 2 miles in. On the bright side the cardio wasn't an issue so that is good. I was running pretty slow though. Hopefully, the shin splints subside but I am not sure why they would unless I change something.

I don't get controlled or dominated at work so that is good. A part of me longs for more meaningful work though. I know we probably don't want to go down this road as we have been already it's just something that came to my mind and something I have to remedy. Volunteering could potentially help with this problem. I still need something that is going to cover rent, food, car expenses, dental work, etc etc etc. I was really doing pretty well until I ran over a nail and went to the dentist for the first time in a long time. I had first and last month's rent with a security deposit but my current income just can't cover it. I guess I just have to accept that and put in the work to likely improve the situation or don't and continue to live with my parents. We have almost certainly been through this before. How does it feel to be 34 and living with my parents? If I remove the ego it really isn't that bad.

Connecting with people sounds so easy on paper but it is actually pretty damn difficult to do.

Do I have hope in my future? I really don't know. I think I might be getting a little depressed and I have been dealing with anxiety. It fucking sucks. Life is hard sometimes.

Wow, what an uplifting birthday post.

I am at a turning point. I am stuck in Charleston, SC. I do not have the funds to move somewhere anytime soon. So, I make the best of it and attempt to make it home or at least an understanding that it is a base and I need the training here. Or, I just drift miserably through life as if this place is a prison or purgatory. The hardest part about depression and anxiety is that it hinders connection. Connection is the last fucking thing you want to do but reconnecting in certain areas are the only anti-depressants that actually work.


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I just finished this book and it was ok. Basically, reconnect to people, meaningful work, meaningful values, do shrooms and meditate, overcome trauma, etc. A lot of what the book was saying is that the social constructs of our world create depression and anxiety. There is a reason we are depressed and anxious and it is because of the world around us. So, it's a tough one because a lot of this stuff is kind of far fetched. One guy was miserable working in a hierarchical bike shop so he started his own bike shop collective. Everyone was happier. Stories like that are great but not always transferrable. Things like avoiding advertising or just understanding that the chase for material goods and status may only bring more depression and anxiety. Another far fetched one was shroom therapy. I would love shroom therapy and I am actually going to ask my psychiatrist about it the next time I talk to her but I am not a good candidate because of my mania unfortunately (I asked my last psychiatrist). Just going out and buying a bunch of shrooms and tripping by myself doesn't seem to have the same therapeutic value as a trip led by an expert.

It actually isn't that easy (for me) to connect with people here. I have met some cool people in AA. The thing about AA is most of those folks believe that a God is controlling their will and they can manipulate that with prayer and are pretty adamant about it. It can be kind of tough to fit in at a deeper level when I hold pretty much atheist compatibilist views. We have so much more in common than that difference but it just seems like that difference is basically the foundation of AA. I can feel the depression and the anxiety coming on a little bit as I sleep more and my days consist mostly of going to work and isolating at home. Jiu jitsu cures all (except injuries accrued through jiu jitsu).

I am getting to know the people down there at the BJJ gym. It helps that it is a smaller gym. Sometimes I worry I am losing respect as a training partner because I am so bad. One guy said we should pick up the pace but he doesn't understand I may not have that pace in my repertoire. Eh, I mean it's all ego killing. Anytime I enter the mats I am vulnerable. My ego is going to be hurt in some way. I think it is good for me.

Overcoming addiction to the self. Sometimes I get the urge to write blogs like this. Just to kind of formulate my thoughts or whatever. Looking back the practice seems a little self-obsessed but I am really just trying to get through some things, maybe grow as a person, or figure something out. I don't know if it accomplishes that or anything. I am just trying to reconnect to what I can reconnect to. Depression and anxiety is no fun. Addiction is no fun.

In AA one of the parts of the "illness" is the "spiritual malady" which in the book they basically describe as a lack of God but from my experiences that malady is basically depression and anxiety. Alcohol is an anti-depressant for as long as it works but what we need is this reconnection that Johann Hari is talking about.


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Is this Maynarde caster the same as NTT, Maynard etc from LP?

I'm watching this guy at Katowice and was wondering how he got this job. Maynard/NTT was great obviously and I assume that's the same guy from LP. On the other hand I remember he was in NYU becoming a lawyer and some other stuff. But this might be the same fellow?


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So, I have been training BJJ a bit heavier recently. Really good training. Coach pushes me very well. I am starting to realize my weak point is cardio and weight so it makes sense to add some cardio workouts and make sure to keep the diet relatively clean. I developed some tendinitis in my left arm getting arm locked and lifting heavy weights so that is another reason to back off a bit on the weights. I was definitely overtraining a bit. I don't necessarily feel it during workouts but afterwords I have to be pretty disciplined in icing my elbow joint. I want to experiment with CBD. I also miss marijuana. I went on a nice walk today in nature with my dog and would have loved just a couple of hits or so off of a joint of good weed. Listen to some Erykah Badu or Enya or some Marley. Relax after a tough training session with a volcano and some Planet Earth. I think it would be great to roll on a light dose of edibles as well.

I had a dream last night that I was going to live in the Smokey Mountains in Tennessee. I watched a House Hunters International in Chile and Costa Rica. I just have a feeling I need to get to some mountains, rivers, and lakes and potentially beaches all within a bike ride or even a long hike. A 15-20min drive in my Subaru Forester would be acceptable as well. Where I am at now just feels like a base where I am building myself. Building myself for what exactly? What's the difference. I feel like I am at Richard 10.4 and this is just what I am supposed to be doing right now. Distancing myself a bit from the hardcore AA crowd while still having some presence. Sticking with Jiu Jitsu and getting into great shape. Building more and more connections. Quality connections. Giving myself more opportunity in potential meaningful work. Building more trust at work so I have more freedom. I don't want to get too carried away with the writing right now so I need to groom and go out to lunch. Peace.


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There were a couple hands recently played that get added to my list of favorite poker hands ever, and I thought some people here would enjoy them. I am fortunate enough to have a peer group of pro poker players who never take themselves seriously, and sometimes some ridiculous situations spawn out of that. Both of these hands were played at perhaps the worst run casino I've ever been at (although with fairly good action), and both involve the same friend. He is on the maniac side, overly loose and aggressive, although people are scared of him and think he is dangerous. Game is $5/10 $2500 max.

Hand 1
Lojack opens to $35, my friend flats on the button, big-blind flats [hole-cards to come at end].

Flop Initial raiser bets $70, friend calls, big blind folds.
Turn Initial raiser checks, the dealer prematurely deals out the jack of clubs. My friend asks "so if I check the card stays there right", the dealer nods her head, and he snap checks.
River Preflop raiser bets $120, my friend raises to $450, guy folds, and pushes his cards towards the muck. Floor is walking nearby, and the guy and one of his friends now choose to grab the floor and ask about the spot. The floor then rules that premature river should never have been there and can't play, so he has the dealer push back the guy his 2 cards, shuffle the back into the deck, and go back to my friend's action on the:

Turn #2 my friend then decides to bet instead (around $110 I think), villain calls.
River #2 river goes check-check, preflop raiser flips over AJ while my friend flips over AhTc, and AJ wins.


Hand 2
Different day, different dealer.

Big blind kicks off the hand by looking at his hand and mucking it, thinking he was UTG not realizing that the person to his right was waiting for the button to pass to post. Dealer says he needs to post his $10, guy says it's bullshit he didn't know, he doesn't want to post the $10. In the meantime, first 2 positions fold, and it gets to my friend in middle position who peels the T6o. Friend tells the guy who mucked the big-blind "here man, don't worry, you can play my hand" and ships him his 2 cards. This is even more funny to me because the probability of my friend shipping him a hand that is REMOTELY playable (like even T8o) is 0. Cutoff raises to $30, button calls, and dealer does absolutely nothing as the big blind decides to defend with his newly acquired T6o.

Flop Initial raiser c-bets, big-blind calls.
Turn Initial raiser c-bets again, and big-blind folds.

I guess the big blind calling and hitting his gutter would have simply been too epic and the poker gods would have been angered, so it wasn't to be.

Hope these were enjoyable. I just love the occasional ridiculousness that happens in live games sometimes.
Cheers LP
~Nathan




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2nd hand: https://www.liquidpoker.net/h/1079631


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