It's enough to make you believe in continuous probability.
This week is the house grind week. I aim for 10k (inc a 3k bonus) which will be enough to move into a new house with my friend and pay 4 months bills up front. I reckon I need about 4ptbb/100 which is below my long term rate and I've had a good start already. Yay a motivation to grind!
Yesterday I nearly got scammed. I am looking for a new house, which I have now found, but before moving into my current abode I accepted an offer from someone else. That offer seemed too good to be true and there were some scam like things I've seen elsewhere which raised my suspicions, so before I went any further I did a little research, and found his IP address relates to that of a known nigerian scammer.
Today he sent me an email asking for a deposit, which would definitely have ended things since I haven't even seen the house yet lol, but I haven't replied yet. I must say his previous messages were a lot more normal than this obvious scamming crap. Here it is:
How are you doing today ? I just got word from the city council regarding the tenancy form approval and am glad to let you know that your tenancy form has been reviewed and accepted so you have been approved to rent one of the rooms available. What i was told to tell you is for you to pay the required deposit to the below information. All you have to do is to log on to www.westernunion.com and register, after doing that, you click the send money in minutes button and then fill the form, the confirmation will be sent to your phone or emailed to you. Once you receive that, you are to call and activate the transaction. Email me with the transfer info.
Receivers Name: Terry Lane
Address: 133 Edward Street Brighton BN2 0JL
Once you have sent the deposit, kindly attach and e-mail me with the deposit slip been given to you after the transfer or e-mail me with the below info.
And after the deposit has been made you just get back to me with the below information..
Once i receive the details, I will send you the receipt, residency approval and rent agreement confirmation immediately i receive the deposit. I would be waiting to hear from you to know if you got my
email or not.
Thanks for your time and effort!
Sincerely,
Terry Lane
So I'm looking for suggestions on how to stitch him right up... I am aiming for humiliation here...
Shamelessly whoring my pride and my blog for a small freeroll or two which I probably won't bother entering, cos I just saw someone else do it...
I have registered to play in the PokerStars World Blogger Championship of Online Poker! The WBCOOP is a free online Poker tournament open to all Bloggers, so register on WBCOOP to play.
I fucking love really funny things. I think it can be man's highest achievement. I am looking for recommendations of comedy - videos, writing, the lot. I would really appreciate anything people can suggest. I like anything by Ricky Gervais/Stephen Merchant, Hitch Hiker's, Red Dwarf, Bill Hicks, anything involving Bill Bailey, Simon Amstell, Alan Partridge, Blackadder etc you get the theme.
This post was inspired by watching this just now, the funniest thing ever made, the Brass Eye Paedophile Special from 2001:
If you aren't from the UK, at the time this came out there was a huge media noise about paedophiles. It turned into an absurd panic. This Brass Eye episode caused outrage on an epic level. Also, some celebrities (hi Gary Lineker) looked very very silly.
WARNING: I AM EXTREMELY DRUNK AND EPIC RAMBLE AHEAD. GETTING THINGS OFF MY CHEST. SUPER TLDR BUT IF YOU STICK WITH IT YOU MIGHT SPOT A PUN OR TWO.
I'm listening to the cure right now. I don't know why but it was what I saw first on winamp in a rush after pearl jam finished between hands. They are quite good, but what annoys me is that they are what every crap emo band wants to be what and every arty drip round hoxton square (hi londoners) wants to be. Anyway, emos are not the point of this blog, otherwise I would have to cut it short. (I'm a fucking comic genius eh). No, I'm going to slice straight through the nonsense and get to the poker...
Today didn't go well, and I must say I found it rather cutting. The worst bit about this session today was twofold: my internal morality and results. Perhaps the gods combined the two. To start with the results, I ran very very bad in pre-allin situations. Like 3 barreling to the river with a set and getting snapped by the backdoored flush draw kind of thing. That definitely constituted the majority of my losses and felt like it was getting weirdly predictable after a while. Like when you have those irrational thoughts at night that there is something in the room and your obsessive side makes you turn on the lights and look before you can settle (this isn't just me is it??). I also ran 10 buyins below allin EV which wasn't knife. I have attached the relevant graph below. All in all I was pleased that all this only resulted in a 5 buyin loss. Overall I am on the worst downswing I have ever experienced in 3 years of full time poker. It's getting very frustrating. I have experienced times before which I thought were that run of bad luck worse than anything you could ever think possible, but wow. I am not too many buyins down right now, but I expect of myself a very very high winrate since I can only be arsed to play 1/2. If one were to look through my hands of the last 4 days, there are many 400bb pots lost to 1-4 outers and things. So anyway, today's graph:
And this takes us to a lemma between the main corollaries of this post: I won't be posting any graphs or stats again. I was reading the "is liquidpoker +/-ev thread" and was forced to have some reflections about what info is relevant to give out, and what I want from poker.
I'm not feeling too sharp right now, but I'll get to the point. I can't take the immoral side of poker anymore. If I am able to live off the money I make, then others can't. I suppose this point doesn't even need to be argued. We all know that many of the fish are fucking themselves with what they lose to us pros. We absolve ourselves by saying they would lose it someone else anyway. That's not good enough for me. This money is dirty, and I am doing something wrong. I'm not perfect and there are many things I do wrong - I hold myself to very high standards. I carelessly offend people who don't get my sense of humour. I don't take enough direct action against the political wrongs being committed blatantly in front of our eyes. I don't fight this system enough. I keep pushing away girls when they get close. More of that in a minute though, I'll take a stab at that point in a second... My poker behaviour (the playing of) is something I can leave and change by...:
I am currently starting a business with a friend which fits into my (our) ideas of ethical behaviour married to realism - achieving what we can essentially. Even if it's only a blade of grass. The big motivator for that was the emptiness poker presented me with, and also that I quit smoking. I chain smoked for 15 years (I started very very early, fell in with a bad crowd yknow), and quit one year ago. I have achieved some thing in my life of which I am proud, but none so much as quitting smoking. For some it is easier than others. For me it was beyond bad. I am already considered a touch eccentric by my friends and family, but I went completely mad, very very ill. Like weird mental shit. I also got sick for 2 months and then got covered in some undiagnosed rash, head to toe for another two. My body was obviously not happy with the situation. And since then I have realised that I am not only intelligent and a quick learner, but I have willpower to do anything and if I fail with these god given gifts that I can never forgive myself. So back to, literally, business. We will start trading in a couple of weeks and then hopefully I will have an income and then I will never play poker professionally again. I will still seek out friendly HU games and keep a bankroll online for that purpose (HI OSKAR - IT WAS A GREAT GAME LETS DO IT AGAIN).
I've completely rambled but I wanted to get these things off my chest. I have no real life poker friends, and I don't talk to my friends about poker because they don't play so won't understand the very unique challenges. They also don't have the address of this blog. I am not proud of the attitude to fish here, to which I contribute.
If anyone remembers my last blog entry about the fat girl. She wasn't fat!! I was so drunk when I first met her that I had remembered wrong. She was just straight up hot! Anyway, I don't think I have time for her now, she seemed to need attention and stuff, but I think I'll text her next time im in london. Also, thanks for voting for locking her in a cage until she can climb out through the bars - that was my favourite choice.
Anyway that was just a slice of my thoughts, I wouldn't say they were exactly cutting edge.
Cliffs:
Boobies:
On that note, amazing fact: Recently one of my friends and his girlfriend slept with Brian Molko!! I mean, he's bi obviously, otherwise it wouldn't be cool at all.
I'm listening to pulp's different class now so things are much better. Pulp are so cool it's amazing.
Are you a heads up reg on NL50/NL100? Then you are fucking scum. There is no more disgusting pathetic bottom feeding cowards than you in the entire poker world. ALL OF YOU. WITHOUT EXCEPTION. I MEAN YOU. I would prefer to let a shortstack have his way with my arsehole without lubricant and razors tied to his little cock than to kill your mother since that would involve being in the same vicinity as 50% of your genes.
I come home drunk and hope to muck around at small stakes heads up. But NO! no such luck will I get the chance to donk off some money to an aspiring small stakes reg, cos the minute I fold my big blind I'M OBVIOUSLY WAY TOO FUCKING GOOD. I don't limp k3 on the button and OMG HE'S FUCKING DURRRR ON A SMURF ACCOUNT, QUICK RUN TO MY SISTER'S BEDROOM FOR A COMFORTING HUG FROM THAT SCARY PRO THAT WILL MAYBE TURN INTO A LITTLE FINGERING SESSION.
You even make up excuses. Saying bullshit like you have to go now you are just finishing your session or some shit. At least you could be honest. At least you could just say "I am a fucking bumhunting coward; I have done my entire poker effort by watching the first three videos in pr1nnyraiding which I will now follow with religious obsession, except I'll be somewhat tighter - like my arsehole used to be before my sister and her strap-on got anywhere near it, cos I am shit at poker and I'm too shit at life to improve at poker.
Quite honestly, in my 3 years since I first started mucking around with poker, you are the worst I have seen. Out of all the pathetic down-and-out nobodies in casinos, all the transfer request scammers, all the busto degens begging for stakes; out of all the scum that floats around the poker world, you are the lowest. It is something about your pernicious failure than to be anything other than the minimum. At least you could fail with glory or something. But no, you grind out $10 an hour (if that) and are too fucking coward to put yourself in any situations where you might learn something cos that might risk your precious fucking $10/hr.
And just to be clear, if you are a HU reg at NL50/NL100 I mean you PERSONALLY. Cunt.
In poker news I have crushed or tilted. That's that then.
In other news I met a very cute girl who is really clever (doing a phd), is funny and knows how to party. But. She is a touch porky. Am I shallow? What do I do? I have here a poll:
Poll: Fat Chick?
(Vote): Stop being shallow, accept her
(Vote): Secretly feed her laxatives
(Vote): Delete her number
(Vote): Buy her a liposuction gift certificate
(Vote): While in her presence, wear glasses with a picture of a thin chick on the inside
(Vote): Lock her in a cage until she can fit through the bars
(Vote): Tell McDonald's that I saw her steal from there and that she should be banned.
OK, in the post below I became convinced, reluctantly, that a Jag is not sensible for me. Can anyone suggest a car type that is very reliable, has the power to tow a heavy trailer and I can buy from about £1k or so?
