Mindfuck and march
auffenpuffer, Mar 27 2009
So first I cover the mindfuck:
Some weeks ago I saw a very elaborate dream about poker. When 12 tabling nl100 I was playing a regular who I had a lot of history in 3bet pots with and caught AA at cutoff. He 3bet me from blind and I 4bet to 25bb. He smooth called and openshoved on flop. In the dream I was like "hmm Iam probably beat (as you can see it was a dream), but I call anyway". Results werent displayed in my dream (see, Iam not results oriented even in my dreams!) but the dream caught to my mind because just a week earlier I had decided that I'll never 12 table 6max again, and also the regular of my dream was very familiar with me, but I hadnt played him ever at that time.
Well, obviously the title spoiled the story and everyone knows what happened next:
Today I was 12 tabling nl100 at party, when playing a regular who had just started playing there (or I started playing at the same times he was already playing) and with whom I have history of violence in 3bet pots got me into the exact spot of my dream. Now I got to know the end of the story too, he had called QJs oop and open shove 1.5x pot with top pair ooa
And yes, I understand that this all is almost certainly something that mind made up, and that I almost certainly never saw such dream and if I did the spot was nothing like that - I just remembered incorrectly - and if it was its a coincidence. However my head did explode a little bit :F
And now to the results:
Overall Iam really happy with how thing turned out. I had 28k hands breakeven strecth yet I still made 3,8 BB/100. The breakeven was mostly due to shitty play, I was really spewing hardcore. Then however I watched CR vid by nutedawg and understood that I can stop spewing! Christ how easy poker can be! Never before have I really been certain that I beat the games. Always there has been a little doubt: "what if I only run good? what if I only win 1bb/100 in reality? or if Iam losing player" but now Iam finally certain that I beat this level good, and soon I'll beat the next one too ^^ Its quite amazing what kind of difference one video can make but it was so nicely about what I'm doing wrong that it was like as if nutedawg had been couching me. LA LA LAA cant wait untill summer when I have more time and I can really start working on the nl 200 monkeys.
Also partypoker randomly gave me 450 bonus + rakeback for like another 400 so actual results are a little more than what graph displays.
I call it a month
auffenpuffer, Jan 26 2009
Fuck this I feel I only win at poker because I run good, and I just keep spewing money and tilting. blah. I'm going to take next 5 days off playing and review my play a little, probably watch cr videos too, but I kinda feel most of my losses come from retarded tilt inspired bluffs or spots where I know Iam beat my hands absolute strenght is just soo goood. Maybe reviewing helps to that, crvids probably wont. Well, whatever at least I won 12bigblinds/100 this month and made 3x better hourly rate than at any regular job avaible for student so I shouldnt be too depressed (but I am because I play bad). So heres a graph:
Should probably try to play more next month tho, 20k hands isnt really anything at all ;/
auffenpuffer, Dec 18 2008
So since last bloggy post I've been mostly playing nl100 on party, along with 2 failed shots at nl200 (-500 both) and -200 and PLO. The results for 100 nl are ok, like 11 or 12bb/100 but I'm quite unhappy with my play lately. It seems that my play is just off and I cant seem to get it back on track, but I hope that christmas holidays at lapland (ie. a break from poker) will help. Of course it is postive in a way that even when tiltspewing I still do fine -_-. I'm also planning to move from party to martinspoker because of the downswing USD is in currently. Sucks pretty bad to have hourly rate go down 30% just because of USD. But will be hard to get used to martinspoker, both software and lack of hud stats ;/
I could write more but blah, its not like anyone would read blogs, everyone just checks graphs ^^
auffenpuffer, Nov 15 2008
So last week I had this kind of a bad day at 200nl, as you can see from the picture (it misses about 2k profits I made earlier tho):
I would have had roll for keeping to nl200 but I just can't handle the swings yet (after losing 1,5k I tilted badly for rest of the losses). I need a little more of a pokerplayer attitude to losing money. Anyways I cashed out two thirds of my roll and moved down to nl100. I also went back to partypoker because pacificpokers software is so hugely tilt inducing that I just can't stand it anymore. Besides party has almost - not quite tho - as soft games as pacific.
So heres graph for last week at party:
I feel that my 6max play is very solid now, at least solid enough to beat nl100. However a major problem is that I make too loose calldowns and play too paranoid in many spots. I need to stop assuming that all my opponents are thinking and aggressive players untill they prove not to be. -_-
So now I'll stick to 100nl untill I've got 22 buyins to nl200, then I'll take a shot there, hopefully soon ^_^
auffenpuffer, Nov 05 2008
So played a little hu today. Started out nicely and was up 5 buyins, then lost 3 buyins in one pot (ie pot was 6bi) and 1.5 in smaller ones. Later this night I started another session (still tilted from the 80-20 ahead for 3 bi) and spewed badly for a -6buyins day. I think Ill stop playing HU for now, I get too frustrated too easily when not hitting hands and in general spew so much.
What I learned today
auffenpuffer, Oct 27 2008
Today I ran really bad for a moment so - to make sure I keep perspective right when feeling bad about losing 3 buyins - I went to read older posts of asdf2000's blog.
There I came across with this gem, by ballad:
| inviting death upon yourself is a terrible idea, btw. This is a really fucking awesome time to be alive. People used to wipe their asses with leaves and shit, they didn't even have cable TV or the internet, nobody had time to do anything but work hard and try to stay alive, but we live in a period of time where we can create flashy fun stuff like music and comedy and Youtube and play games and communicate with each other anywhere at any time across the globe and take pictures of outer space, we get to experience all that, and you get to experience all that whether you're running hot in poker or not.
And it's all on its way out, our sources of energy are non-renewable and we've got thousands of horrible bombs that could completely destroy the world and make it uninhabitable, and all humans are putting all kinds of pollutants into the sky and making our environment and weather less stable. There's all kinds of stuff on the horizon that's gonna throw humanity back into "working hard to survive 24/7" mode, I'm not saying it'll happen soon, probably long after we're gone hundreds of years from now, but it's happening.
Where we're living right now, our stage in time, is near the peak of civilization and technology, and it's a very small window. Of all the billions of years this planet has been in orbit around the sun, during the very small amount of that time that this planet has been able to support life, and during this tiny, tiny window of only a few hundred years where we are at the very peak of our advancement as a species, where our civilization and our technology has reached a level where an easy and happy and fun life couldn't be easier to achieve... it's in that window of a few hundred years, out of billions, that you get to spend your entire life.
Funny how its possible hear in school for 5 years that everything in past times sucked and bad but to never really understand it ^^
Of course ones happines clearly is not only about material needs but at least we are a generation with freedom never seen before. (or at least we lucky rich white kids)
EDIT: omg i hate my life so much, the title should have been "I learned something today" instead of that shit, asdfsfasdf and now i cant change it
what goes up...
auffenpuffer, Oct 23 2008
Its quite interesting how everytime I start a session well rested, focused and in all ways prepared to play my A game I end up losing or breaking even. Like this:
However I dont mind this so much because most of my losses have been against 1-3 outers and Ive been playing quite solidly. However Ive tilted away about 1.6 buyins tonight ;/
auffenpuffer, Oct 17 2008
I have been struggling on poker for a week now... somehow it feels that I just fail to play my A game. I tilt all the time and play badly even when I don't. I also fail at discipline. For example I just today came home from bar and started to play poker. Nice. It could have been way worse tho, and I finished -1,5 buyins for the whole day. However it is time for decisions now:
1. Either I drink or I play, not both ._.
2. Stop loss at 2 buyins and then no more poker for that day. I need to practise controlling my emotions and when I manage to lose 2 buyins without it affecting me at all I can lift loss limit.
3. For the end of this month, only nl100. Iam well rolled for nl200 and the games are quite soft but I want to get my mojo back. Besides right now I really don't want to have standard -10 buyins at nl200, just wouldn't be able to take it.
4. Not instaleaving tables after losing 1 big pot. It makes no sense to first carefully pick a good table and then leave just because I got bad beated or coolered or made a mistake. Really bad habit.
5. 20k hands 4tabling 100nl this month, then 50k hands at nl200 before christmas holidays (14.12)
Then some life goals, I feel I need those too:
1. I need to stop missing karate practises.
2. 2 times a week to swimming
3. less eating shit and expensive food at shitty and expensive kebab houses tt
I hope I can get a little better grib now ^_-
auffenpuffer, Oct 08 2008
As some might remember (not many tho, my read high score was 44 ^^) I used to have a blog nearly a year ago. At that time I used to play sng but quit last sprint and cashed out nearly everything to focus on final exams. I started out seriously again this summer, this time heading for cash games because as fun as sngs are the action is often quite dead and even most fish have some sort of a clue. But if action someday gets better Ill be at party 12 tabling 60s all day long. Anyways on first week of playing I went up 800 eur at nl50 and after that I started losing. And kept losing untill I was back at where I started, 250 eur. Then I started to grind again and was 800 when I spewed a little again, this time to 200. Then I set myself ultimatuum: if I wont make up to 1000e by the end of the month I'll just quit using my time on poker because if I would not make a penny out of it I could find more relaxing hobbys for myself. I couldn't make myself to play nl25, which was quite bad but worked out. Long story short, 5 weeks later I have won 4400 eur and am playing nl200. The way I ran for some days was just unreal: no beats and when I got coolered I would hit my with < 20% equity. Players at pacificpoker were also happy to contribute to my bankroll, which was very kind of them. I think that from now on whenever there are'nt good parties in sight Iam definately going to pull 12 hours sessions friday and saturday nights, action is so unreal.
Iam also very happy with the way I have improved my play. Lately I haven't been really spewing - which always was my achilleus heel - and I feel I play much more solidly now. After I watched some educational videos at pokernews I've also cut monkey aggression a little and open tighter and 3bet light less often. Anyways I still need to improve my play, especialy emotional control and too loose calls with medicore hands. I think I'll try to find a coach at one point or another too.
My goal for the rest of year is to play 50k hands at nl200 and keep win rate of 10 blinds / 100. I don't really know if 10 big blinds / 100 is realistic goal for me but I dont mind so much about winrate now if I just do beat it. I'm also planning on starting to play PLO a little, I've heard action is way better but first I gotta find a site for it, maybe unibet. If everything goes nicely Iam able to play poker fulltime for some 3 months after christmas before starting to study for admission test to economic and social history (I currently study computer science but I think its not my thing after all), but if everything does'nt go fine its not so bad either
Only thing I'm not pleased with now is that HEM is missing out half of my winnigs and therefore my ultimate epic graph is only remotely nice, I don't even bother posting tt.
2nd biggest winning day ever
auffenpuffer, Dec 26 2007
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